


Checkmate

by Ryuu_No_Kami



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drama, F/M, Romance, Suspense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2019-04-05
Packaged: 2019-08-19 07:50:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 100,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16530440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ryuu_No_Kami/pseuds/Ryuu_No_Kami
Summary: It was supposed to be a simple game of chess.“Why did you give up a chance to win to go after a piece that is kind of pointless to me now?”"Because sometimes, it’s not about finishing off the king in a calculated, predicted manner. Sometimes, it’s fun to watch what the king does without his most important player.”It suddenly became personal.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This idea has been stuck in my head for months, so I finally outlined it and started writing. I also blame hours of detective shows for never letting my mind rest.
> 
> A few notes: this will obviously deviate from the main story of Persona 5 from November on. By doing so, I'm kind of accepting backlash for denying the entire point of the game, but I hope it's not the end of the world. It's not really the angle I'm aiming for in this story.
> 
> I don't play chess. I know how to play, but I sure as hell can't last but 5 minutes. The idea of using chess as an analogy actually came from the anime adaptation. Actual game play is only described here, so if you're a professional chess player, well...sorry.
> 
> If you haven't already picked up where this is headed, it's going to be a bit dark. Again, I blame my criminal TV shows for my imagination. I also love my drama peppered with romance (not the other way around). But between suggestive themes and evil plots, there's a line I won't cross. 
> 
> Enjoy!

_“Who do you think is the most important player in a game of chess?”_

Joker throws himself back into the shadows of the corner, avoiding another well-dressed pursuer. He tries to tell himself that he needs to escape quickly, but he can’t help the smirk that comes to his face. Bastards were given a heads up and _still_ couldn’t catch him. Well, he’s good at what he does, he thinks. It’s still mildly entertaining to hear their frustrations.

He bolts around the corner once the coast is clear and runs through the door leading to the staircase. He hears the halting of footsteps and knows they see him, but he does not stop or falter. He wants to test his own wit and athleticism for an audience. It’s dangerous, but as Skull likes to say, “Ya gonna go out one day; might as well go out in style!”

He busts through the door and his speed nearly sends him flying over the railing. He grips it tightly; he needs to think quickly about his next course of action. His eyes scan the room through his mask. He knows this route well; his team takes it every time they enter the palace. They just do so in silence. He is here to make a scene. Grab attention. Distract people.

_Go out in style!_

He hears voices from behind him and he makes up his mind. He turns to the three or four men who come barreling out of the stairwell. They stare at him for a brief second, as if they are surprised they found him and do not know how to proceed with his capture. Joker grins at them in their moment of stupor and jumps over the railing onto the rafters above the casino’s main floor.

The shooting starts a few moments later, but he is too far away for them to hit him. His adrenaline is peaking as he runs while earning gasps and points and startled silence from the patrons below him. He hears his teammates in his ear, warning him of other people approaching and how badass he is at the moment.

When his feet meet the floor near the entrance, he allows his chest to puff in a proud, charismatic fashion. Yeah, he _is_ badass.

The shooting, however, doesn’t stop and he runs up the few stairs in front of him to his newest challenge. Oh, if Skull thinks he is badass now, the kid might shit his pants after his next move.

The enemy pauses and slowly approaches him like he’s a wild animal. He turns to them, their guns still up in defense (or as a threat). They think they have him cornered.

Please.

Joker lifts a hand and mocks their attempts. With a flick of his wrist and a sarcastic “see ya,” he jumps through the beautiful glass window. He expects shards to cut into him, but his super awesome duster is just that: super awesome. His arms shield his face and he practically flies through the air with the glass bits, as if to flatter his daring move that much more.

The landing, however, he is not ready for.

He makes sure that he lands on his toes and rolls with the momentum of the fall. He ducks his head into his chest as he does and surprisingly comes out of the jump with little pain. The shoulder he rolls on hits the pavement a bit too hard, but he doubts there will even be a bruise come morning.

Everything goes well as he stands and brushes loose shards from his duster and his hair. However, something heavy and _cold_ lands in his stomach. He expects a crowd of uniformed officers around. He expects screaming and yelling and bright lights to blind him. He expects his stunt to leave him momentarily winded and the cops notice and he has no time to run.

What he does _not_ expect…is nothing.

No one.

No sounds.

_Nothing!_

Joker’s eyes scan the area, his heart picking up its pace out of fear. Where were the cops to arrest him? Were they waiting around a corner to ambush him? Did he seriously jump out of a window with such grace and no one was around to see it?

Something is off, but he doesn’t know what. He jogs up to the corner of the building, thinking they were hiding from his view. Again, he meets darkness. He frowns and a finger goes up to his earpiece to see if someone knows why the police are missing.

He pauses. He knows he can’t say anything. The traitor is still on the line of communication. Anything he says, he will hear. And then they will be in more trouble. Or were they wrong? Did he have some change of heart? Joker wracks his brain with conversations and chance encounters with the boy in hopes that in one of them, he drops a hint.

With his mind running on all cylinders, he fails to make any sense of anything. He needs to get in contact with his team without sounding surprised. He struggles to find his voice, but says, “I’ve made it out. We will reconvene at the Metaverse entrance. Don’t forget the briefcase.”

He only hears silence. He is hoping Oracle or Skull or really anyone will say something like, _“What?!”_ and then he would repeat his statement to prevent any unnecessary incriminating statements. What the hell is going on?!

The voice of Noir cuts through the silence. “I have left the building as well. Meet you there!”

Fox follows suit. “I understand. As soon as I can, I will be there.”

He does not hear from the others. He predicts that Skull is just keeping quiet to avoid raising suspicions. Oracle is likely confused as all hell and searching for answers. Queen and Mona are probably doing the same. Panther is hopefully the reason Skull has yet to say anything. Crow…well, he’s not sure what he is doing. But the sinking feeling in Joker’s gut tells him Crow is not helping.

He needs to hear from the others. “What about the rest of you? Who has the briefcase?” He looks over his shoulder at the blinding casino lights, hesitating before he walks away. “Do any of you need help?”

“Are you okay, Joker?” Mona asks. “No _difficulties_ on your end?”

He hopes his voice is as steady as he wishes it. He also hopes that their enemy doesn’t pick up on Mona’s implication. “Nope. Busted that beautiful glass window, though. Pretty sure I’ll get a bill for that.”

A small laugh breaks out over the line. It’s Crow. “That was quite impressive.”

Okay, so he needs to hear from four more members. Skull’s voice crackles through first. “Dude, this ain’t the time to be jokin’ around! What the ‘eff is-,”

“I have the briefcase. I’ll meet up with you guys at the suggested location.” Queen.

“Y-yeah.” Panther.

“We _seriously_ need to get out of here.” Oracle.

Joker breathes a sigh of relief. He hears from each one of his teammates. No one seems to be hurt. He assumes they are as confused as he is, but they can deal with that when he meets them again. “Be careful on your way out. Please alert anyone if there’s trouble.”

The line goes dead and he begins to walk to where the team enters the palace. His feet are heavy, his mind is racing, his heart is pounding. Why? Why is this happening? He knows he should be relieved that he’s not being cornered and cuffed and thrown in jail, but there is a nagging feeling that _something is very wrong_.

He reaches the location in a matter of minutes. He sits on the edge of the sidewalk and thinks. He first tries to find loopholes in their plan. He has no doubt that the traitor wants to kill him. He knows none of his friends said anything to said person about their plan. Did he by chance catch wind of it anyway? He was extremely intelligent, but Joker thought his pride and ego clouded much of that at times. So unless he was personally exposed to their scheme, Joker doesn’t want to believe he could have figured it out.

In the days leading up to the operation, he _did_ seem eager to hang out with him. Pick his brain, or whatever. He had been polite enough to accept the requests, but smart enough to watch his mouth. Most of the days were spent sitting at their booth in Leblanc with freshly made coffee and a chess game.

_“Who do you think is the most important player in a game of chess?”_

Joker runs a hand through his hair. Had _he_ been the one to say something to hint as to what they were doing without realizing it? And if so, _what_ was he planning on doing to kill him? Did he plan on just coming out of the shadows and shooting him in the back of the head? No. He would have wanted Joker to _see_ that he was going to kill him. He wanted to see the look of horror and betrayal on his face. He was up to something, but sadly, Joker has no idea what that could be.

And it’s pretty terrifying.

_“Who do you think is the most important player in a game of chess?”_

Ren was learning strategies with Hifumi, but he was surprised to find out he was _terrible_ at chess. He assumed when Akechi first invited him to play that it would have been a challenging match. Sadly, he couldn’t utilize the same moves he was learning in shogi in a game of chess. Thus, Akechi defeated him every time. He was getting better and lasting longer, and his pride liked to remind him that the man sitting across from him wanted him _dead_ and he wasn’t thinking all that well.

But the last time they played, there was something different about it. Ren had been too deep in thought at the time, trying to read his opponents moves and predict his strategy to gain the upper hand. After he claimed one of Ren’s pawns, Akechi threw him off balance.

_“Who do you think is the most important player in a game of chess?”_

_Ren lifts his hand from his chin as he reaches for one of his pieces, his bishop sliding across the board to capture his opponent’s knight. “That would be the king.”_

_Akechi is silent for a moment, thinking about his next move. Or his next line. Or hell, even thinking about how to turn Ren’s answer against him. He simply moves his rook without taking any pieces._

_The move sends alarm bells off in Ren’s head. He’s up to something. However, before he can make a move of his own, Akechi addresses him once more. “Why do you say that?”_

_He pauses, trying to hide his confusion at the question. “What do you mean? The game is over when the king is captured.”_

_The game halts and both of them stare back at the other. Ren searches Akechi’s eyes, his face, his posture for a subtle clue as to where this is heading, but he is rather calm. Relaxed. Almost as if he really is asking a simple question._

_Akechi clasps both gloved hands in front of him and leans into them. His eyes appear to be studying the board, but Ren’s intuition tells him the board isn’t where his focus is. “I don’t mean to be rude, but that is an amateur response.” As if in retaliation for his remark, Akechi swipes a lonely knight with the last of his own. “Check.”_

_Ren glances down at the board and discovers that Akechi’s move does leave him in a bind. His opponent doesn’t give him a lot of time to think of a way out. “You know what happens now, right?” Ren turns his attention to him. “You’re on the run.”_

_Something in the undertones of Akechi’s voice stirs some emotion in Ren. The glimmer in the boy’s eyes only adds fuel to the fire. Ren remains stoic and unaffected on the outside, his eyes falling back to the game board to plan a new strategy. Maybe even one that Akechi will not see coming._

_However, he realizes he is at a severe disadvantage. Any move he is likely to make will be sacrificial to keep his king in the game. And what is the point of that? Why sacrifice your players when the end will be the same?_

_He quickly finds an opening and sends his queen over to take out the threat from the knight. “Problem solved.”_

_Akechi grins at him, almost like he anticipates this move and Ren has walked right into his trap. When he sits back in his seat to assess the situation, Ren smirks at him. “Surely that didn’t catch you by surprise.”_

_The grin on Akechi’s face seems to darken as his hand hovers over the rook he moved in a previous turn. “Watching you play, you seem to rely heavily on the mobility of your queen.” He stops it in the same row as his own king. “Check.”_

_In his own defense, Ren always fell into Akechi’s little chess-game-turned-cat-and-mouse. Naturally, when that happened, his queen became a vital player, usually for clearing away threats from Akechi to end the game. He assumed it was probably something “amateur” players did, but he was getting better. He could probably win a shogi match against him. He sure as hell was about to win this life and death match in real life with him._

_So really, who is the real winner?_

_Ren moves a pawn to block his king, fully expecting Ak_ e _chi to eliminate it and begin the running game. However, he takes Ren by surprise when he moves his queen and traps Ren’s king at a different angle some distance away._

_“Check again.”_

_Hoping that he has just made a mistake, he moves his own queen to take out Akechi’s queen. Why did he make that move to begin with? Was he letting him off easy? He feels like he has walked into something. But he has little options left. So why not? Maybe he won’t notice?_

_He swears Akechi snickers at him. The atmosphere changes around them as one of Akechi’s hands lift to grab his rook. Ren prepares for a counter attack. His pawn will be sacrificed. His queen will play catch up until the threat is eliminated or he loses. His one bishop will just move aimlessly when it can. Two other nearby pawns will also likely be sacrificed. Somewhere along the way, he hopes Akechi slips up, although he never has before._

_Ren’s eyes go wide when Akechi does not attack his pawn, but his queen. He wonders why he did so; his queen has already been captured with two knights so the element of surprise was no longer a valid tactic. Ren always seemed to fall into a trap, losing his king to a knight or the queen, so this move confuses him. He basically lost a chance to win by attacking a specific game piece that had little purpose anymore. Why?_

_“Who do you think is the most important player in a game of chess?”_

_The game piece dangles between Akechi’s index and middle fingers. However, it’s the smirk on his face and the narrowing of his eyes that send a sliver of fear down his spine. Instead of addressing it, Ren forces his voice out of his throat. “Why did you give up a chance to win to go after a piece that is kind of pointless to me now?”_

_He watches Akechi drop the piece with the others he has claimed during the match. “Because sometimes, it’s not about finishing off the king in a calculated, predicted manner.” The stare he receives is just as cold as his tone. “Sometimes, it’s fun to watch what the king does without his most important player.”_

_Every nerve of his body screams at him. While Ren does his best to feign ignorance, he is sure Akechi can feel his heart beat across the table, that he can see the tightening of his muscles as he tries not to lunge across the table and strangle him. He grits his teeth and forces a lighthearted laugh which painfully echoes in his own ears._

_“While the queen is an important player, it’s not the only one,” he spits between his teeth. He moves his bishop (more in an attempt to keep the game moving) for his first “Check” of the night. Then his eyes burn holes into Akechi’s. “So don’t let your guard down, or you’ll lose, and I’ll get all my players back.”_

_He can practically hear Akechi’s gears turning in his head, but the boy laughs and literally kills the tension in the air. “I’m glad to see you so serious about winning for once. It was starting to feel like you just played because I asked you to.” He glances at his wristwatch, and Ren takes the delay to calm himself down. Was he purposely trying to rile him up? Was it all in good fun?_

_No._

_He chose his words carefully, and the undertones were meant to be dropped._

_This is no longer about a game of chess._

_This is personal._

_“Well unfortunately, I need to be off.” Akechi slides out of the booth and stands. He extends his hand out to Ren, who shakes it before the other teen has a chance to read the look in his eyes. “My apologies for leaving a game in a tie, but perhaps once all of this chaos is over, we can have one more match?”_

_He nods once, swallowing the dread that rises to his throat. “I’ll be ready.”_

_Akechi smiles his stupidly-kind smile, thanks him for the coffee and company, and walks out the door. The second the door shuts behind him, Ren sprints up to his room, startling Morgana sleeping on his pillow. He ignores the cat’s questions and frustrations as he pulls his phone from his charger and frantically types out a message._

**_Something has happened. Please come over as soon as you get this._ **

Fuck.

Truth hits him like a ton of bricks.

Noir reaches him just as he is about to dash back towards the casino. “Joker? Is something the matter?”

_No. No. No, please gods, no!_

“I need to go back in there!”

Noir is genuinely surprised and actually follows behind him without retort. He has no idea where to even start looking, _if they were even still there_ , but he knows he has to try. He peers around the corner of a nearby building to check the pathway to the entrance. No one is around. Perfect. He signals to Noir that he is going into the building and runs off before her confused look changes his mind.

He swings the door open with enough force to almost pull it off its hinges. Which, in turn, scares the hell out of Skull and Panther, who are screaming on the other side.

“W-w-what the hell?!”

“J-Joker?”

Joker himself is momentarily startled. In the time it takes for him to compose himself and remember what he is doing, Mona runs up behind him.

“Joker? What are you doing?! We need to _get out of here!_ ”

He shakes his head. _“Who do you think is the most important player in a game of chess?”_ “No! I need to go back in!”

Skull grabs his arm. “Woah, dude. It’s too dangerous to-,”

“Let me go!” he snaps as he pulls himself from Skull’s grip. Mona calls out for him to stop, but it’s not until Skull literally tackles him to the ground that he hears anything.

“What the ‘eff, man?! You trying to kill yourself?!”

The despair starts to set in; it’s probably too late to do anything now anyway. He’s probably long gone. He was probably long gone shortly after he heard their voices on the communication line. This was a suicide mission that wouldn’t even be worth anything. But…he needs to do _something_.

He doesn’t realize he’s crying until Skull releases him and Mona stands in front of him. “Joker? What’s wrong?”

_“Because sometimes, it’s not about finishing off the king in a calculated, predicted manner.”_

He pounds the ground until he is sure there will be a bruise on his fist and a dent on the floor.

_“Sometimes, it’s fun to watch what the king does without his most important player.”_

He screams as his teammates stand in stunned silence.

_“You wanted to see me?”_

_As soon as he opens the door to the café, he pulls Makoto into the room and throws his arms around her. There is nothing but silence as his grip tightens around her until the door clicks shut behind him. She is clearly confused by his actions, she even tries to pull away, but his head lands on her shoulder and she stops. Slowly, he feels her arms come around his waist and without words, they sit in each other’s embrace._

_It’s painful to pull away from her, but she_ is _here pretty late and he does not want to take much more of her time. “I’m sorry to ask you out here like this.”_

_She shakes her head. “It’s alright.” One of her hands finds one of his. “You’re clearly upset about something.”_

_He squeezes her hand, allowing a playful grin to spread across his face. “Any time you’re not here, I’m upset.”_

_She blushes as she lowers her gaze. “I-w-well,” she clears her throat while he runs his thumb over her wrist. “What did you want to tell me?”_

_He resists the urge to kiss her, even though he wants to, but he knows how that will end up. And that’s not why he asks her here. “I may have just wanted to see you.”_

_“Ren.” The look she gives him is proof of her irritation. She wants answers and is not satisfied with his lie. She repeats herself. “What did you want to tell me?”_

_He steadies himself with a deep breath. “Akechi was here earlier.” Her eyes go wide in surprise, but she waits for him to continue. “He just made a comment to me that worried me. I doubt he knows anything of what we are planning, but - maybe - I’ve misread his intentions.”_

_“What do you mean?” she asks after a brief moment of silence. He rubs the back of his head. Was this even a good idea? He panicked, and that was why she was here. He didn’t really think the idea through but…if it was a bluff, it was a damn effective one._

_“I think he might go after you.”_

_She certainly didn’t expect to hear him say that. “W-why would you say that?”_

_“Because you’re important to me,” he sighs. “And I think he knows that.”_

_She stands still for a moment, thinking deeply about what he says. She releases his hand and rubs the sides of her head. “What did he say to you specifically?”_

_Something cold pricks his heart, but he ignores it. “We were playing chess, and he said something about how he finds it entertaining to see what the king does without his queen.”_

_“Well,” she starts, “I’m not a professional chess player, but the queen is very important in the game.”_

_As she continues to explain to him details about the queen’s importance to strategies and games, he plants himself on a nearby bar seat and drops his head into his hands._

_“Have I said something wrong? You’ve likely played more than I have, so-,”_

_“I don’t understand how you can talk so_ casually _about this!” He is on his feet the next second. “He_ threatened _you, and you’re just going to sit there and tell me he said it in context with the game? You didn’t_ hear _him say it. You didn’t_ see _the look he had while watching my reaction. So you can’t tell me that-,”_

_“I don’t see why it bothers you so much.”_

_His mouth hangs open as the words die on his tongue. What does she mean by this? That he simply overreacted to Akechi’s words and he meant nothing by them? How was she not even the slightest bit concerned for her own welfare?_

_Her next statement cuts through his heart like a knife. “It’s not like you care about me more than you care about Futaba, or Ann, or Haru. He could have been referring to any of us, or even one of your other friends. Why do you assume he meant me?”_

_He struggles to find his voice. “He dropped heavy emphasis on ‘queen’.”_

_“But you’re not a king.”_

_Realization dawns on him. She is smart enough to realize the analogy. She may not have been around to hear Akechi say anything, but she is vehemently denying that she is in any danger. It’s to the point where her resistance isn’t because of the revelation, but because of her connection to him. Like she isn’t the one who is important to him._

_“How long have you been upset with me?”_

_His question works the way he wants it to. She stares at him in surprise, then she tries (and fails) to cover it up with incoherent words._

_When he takes a step towards her, she takes a step back. “You are upset with me.”_

_She concedes under his gaze and her shoulders drop. She lowers her head and closes her eyes in preparation for her explanation. He gives her time to sort out her thoughts, but he braces himself for the worst. He knows why she is upset._

_“I don’t think there’s anything for you to worry about.” That takes him by surprise. “We will stick to the plan. He was probably trying to worry you into making a mistake, so let’s not-,”_

_“I know why you’re upset with me.” When she looks into his eyes for the first time since she arrived, he takes a deep breath. His hands land on her shoulders to keep himself steady. It’s been a roller coaster of emotions lately, so he can only hope he’s not starting another ride. “You’re upset because I haven’t asked you out, even though we do everything that normal couples do in secret.”_

_She doesn’t step out of his space, nor does she immediately respond. She does drop her head again, a signal of defeat, and a signal he’s hit the nail on the head. He braves stepping closer to her, but she puts her hands to his chest to stop him._

_“I-I can’t be mad at you,” she finally says. “I don’t know how I feel about it myself.”_

_His heart drops into his stomach at her confession. “You mean to say that if I ask you now, you would say no?”_

_She shrugs his hands off her. “You wouldn’t be asking me now for the right reasons, so yes, I would say no.”_

_“Makoto…”_

_“We’re both not in a good place right now anyway. I’m worried about my sister, and you.” His heart perks up slightly. “So I don’t think it’s the right time.”_

_She makes a step towards the door, but he quickly comes around to block her exit. “It’s not like anything will change except our title.”_

_She sidesteps him easily. “Right. Because I want to advertise that we’ve made the jump from ‘friends with benefits’ to ‘boyfriend and girlfriend.’”_

_Her tone is sharp and painful. She’s not one to use sarcasm against him like this, so the insult is painfully obvious. He clenches his fists and bites his tongue to keep from saying something stupid in the heat of the moment._

_She pauses right before she reaches the door and turns to him. “We can talk about this once everything is taken care of. But right now, our focus needs to be on the mission. Your life is at stake. My sister’s life is at stake.”_

_He knows she is right, but he can’t help but feel extremely hurt by it. “Just, promise me something before you go.” When she nods and meets his eyes, he continues. “Keep an eye on Akechi. If you feel threatened or anything, please let me know. Or let someone else know.”_

_She nods, offers a weak smile to put him at ease, then walks out the door._

He feels someone pull on his shoulders from behind him. “Dude, we gotta get outta here!”

Joker stares ahead of him, meeting Mona’s worried gaze for a split second before Skull yanks him to his feet. He hears nothing around him, no comments from his friends, no footsteps of pursuers or guards. He only hears the pounding of his own blood in his ears. He breathes in a shaky breath before he quickly turns on his heels, his duster flailing behind him.

_“Sometimes, it’s fun to watch what the king does without his most important player.”_

If Akechi wants a show, he will give him one. He will make him regret ever threating one of his teammates - no - the girl he is in love with, just too stupid to realize it until she was in danger. He marches back to the point of entry, where the rest of his gang, minus one, is waiting for him.

“You want to tell us what’s going on,” Mona asks once in earshot of the rest of the team. Joker wastes no time pulling out his phone and clicking on the app to return to the real world. Everyone’s reaction is similar and simultaneous. He did take them back without asking and missing one member, and that’s not something he does as a leader.

Futaba’s screeches are the first thing he hears. “Reeeeen?! What are you doing?! You just left Makoto in-,”

“Everyone go home and get some sleep.”

Yes, because _that_ will disperse all worries and questions. Ann is the first to break the silence. “You can’t be serious.”

He turns to his team, his friends, and tries to keep his voice strong and steady. Akechi wants this. He wants him to fall apart. But he will not. “I don’t know how, or why, but some time in the recent past, he changed his plan.”

Everyone stares at him. It appears Haru reads between the lines as her hand comes to cover her mouth. Morgana, either sensing his tension or understanding what is happening, rubs his head on his leg as a sign of comfort. Futaba moves her gaze to the ground as she shifts her weight around on her feet.

Again, Ann breaks the silence. “Um, can you explain what this has to do with leaving Makoto behind?”

The silence is all the others need to understand.

_“Who do you think is the most important player in a game of chess?”_

As his eyes take in the reactions of his friends, he addresses them once more. “I don’t know the specifics of what’s happened, but one thing is for sure.”

While the queen may be the most important piece on the board, it isn’t the only one. And he will fight. He will get her back. He will show Akechi that his move is only delaying his inevitable checkmate to come.

Everyone meets his eyes and the determination between them washes away the remaining fear in his heart.

“Let’s save our Queen.”


	2. Chapter 2

If there is one thing Makoto will _always_ claim to be afraid of, it’s the dark.

She likes to think, to plan, to strategize. Sometimes, time is not on her side, so she has to do so quickly. But she can. It’s something she feels proud of: her ability to adjust to any situation.

However, that strength comes with  _knowing_  what’s coming, or what she  _believes_  is coming based off the elements around her. She can  _see_  and piece ideas and thoughts together to come to an ultimate decision. She will get better with experience, but the fact remains that she can make changes to plans if things are  _visible_.

The darkness offers nothing, no clues as to what lies in the shadows, no possible way for her to know how or when to make a plan of attack, defense, or escape.

She knows she is conscious; the pain on the left side of her head is the all telling sign she’s awake. The minute she realizes it, panic and fear grabs at her heart and squeezes so tightly, she involuntarily screams out. She forces herself to calm down, to breathe, to assess what she knows about the situation. But the darkness is suffocating and her terror stings behind her eyes and escapes in the form of free-falling tears.

She racks her brain for information, but more for a distraction. She’s in tremendous pain, likely suffering a concussion (the pain wasn’t bad enough to render her blind…right?). Her blood grows cold when she discovers she is sitting on a chair with her hands bound behind her. She can’t officially pinpoint her bindings, but it’s tight. And it hurts.  _Handcuffs?_ She unconsciously tries to free herself, but not to her surprise, she fails to do anything but tear the skin at her wrists.  

How did she get here? Where  _was_  here? She doesn’t remember much, thanks to the injury to her head. How did she get hurt then? And  _who_  hurt her? She can’t imagine herself being so clumsy and falling and sustaining this kind of injury on her own. And someone had to restrain her.

With so many questions and no answers, she enters a state of shock. She struggles to breathe. She’s crying. She’s shaking. She’s straining her voice in an effort to get someone to hear her. Not that she expects the person who hears her is going to rescue her. Unless she really is alone, left to literally scare herself to death.

Suddenly, she hears movement beside her. Her breath catches in her throat the second she feels something cold on the uninjured side of her head. Her mind momentarily forgets she is trapped in a dark space and focuses on the object that is pressed to the side of her head.

“There's no need for all that noise.”

She doesn’t recognize the voice. Or does she? It sounds familiar, but she can’t exactly link a face to the voice. Whether that’s because she really doesn’t know who it belongs to or the fact she has a head injury while undergoing a traumatic state of fear, it doesn’t matter. As the object digs into her skin above her eye, it hits her.

There’s a gun pointed to her head.

Someone is with her.

She’s been kidnapped.

Thankfully, this kicks her senses from panic-mode to formulate-mode. She didn’t need to know who she was with or where she was at the moment. All that matters now is figuring out what they want. And to do that, she’s going to need to find her voice.

“W-what do you want?” Her own voice sounds so foreign to her, but it prompts some laughter out of her captor.

“You sound so weak. It’s truly pathetic.”

In the deepest recesses of her soul, a fire ignites at the insult. However, it’s weak and dies out just as quickly as it starts. Why does she recognize that voice?!

“If you think I’m weak, then release me.” She wished she was better at negotiations and small talk with evil people. She really has no idea what to say to this person to find out exactly what he wanted. She doubts that if she comes out and asks, he will give her an honest answer.

He shoves the gun harder into the side of her head, causing her to wince in pain. “I decide what happens in this room.” His tone much darker, Makoto swallows hard. She always has a tendency to realize a little too late that she needs to keep her mouth shut. She decides to simply let the events lift themselves from the fog of her memories on their own. Hopefully, that happens before this mad man kills her.

Oh.

“A-are you going to kill me?”

She can’t help it. She’s terrified. And there’s a very real possibility that yes, he _is_ about to kill her. She hopes he will at least give her some peace of mind and tell her ‘no,’ or just get it over with now.

The man laughs again, pulling the gun away from her. “That would be too easy.”

She doesn’t want to know more. She doesn’t  _need_  to know the implications behind his tone. He seems like he’s having fun listening to her sound so petrified. Why? Who has she upset so much that they would  _enjoy_  this?

Gears start moving in her mind again. What if  _she_ is not the intended victim, but a mere means to the end? Is someone going after her sister? Is she in trouble? She was known to have enemies, but…to this extent? Was it someone else? A friend? Someone at school? How did she get here again?

She has a feeling if she can figure out how she was caught, the rest of the answers would fall into place.

She hears shuffling again and she cringes, bracing herself for some sort of pain. When she hears his footsteps withdrawing, she wonders if he is leaving. A door opens, but very little light comes from the action, leaving her to wonder exactly where she is. That means she’s not blindfolded (she thinks) and she’s not blind. How did he get to a door in the darkness without tripping or fumbling anyway? His voice reaches her, and she can tell he is quite a distance away.

“I hope someone comes to save you before you die all alone in this little room.”

The door shuts with a loud bang. It takes a few minutes to process what he has said, but then the fear settles in her heart once more and the tears fall from her eyes.

“P-please…please save me, Sis.”

-.-.-.-

Makoto loves structure. Some say that such a life is boring, but she disagrees. She can make plans, then she can fill in the gaps when she has no plans. Her self-imposed structure allows her to form routines and habits so on off days, her body can just go through the motions without drawing suspicion. There is no disappointment, no stress, and no worries if the day is planned out in advance.

That all changes drastically one day.

There is no alarm that wakes her up; she naturally does so on her own. She doesn’t oppose this, but with no alarm blaring across her room, she has no motivation to get up. She is also very comfortable, and warm, and it’s the perfect time of year to just stay under the blankets and sleep the morning away.

She drifts in and out of consciousness for a while before she feels something warm land on her cheek. A hand. Then something soft runs back and forth across her cheek bone, almost…affectionately? That ultimately forces her eyes open as the hand moves to brush some stray hair off her face.

“Good morning.”

Her heart stops.

_Oh, god…_

She shoots up in the bed. She’s not at home. She’s not in  _her_  bed. She’s not at all following the structure she works so hard to maintain. Her breath comes in short gasps as memories come flooding back to her.

_“It has to be that guy in the black mask.”_

_There is enough tension in the room to suffocate her. Morgana seems to be the only one speaking, but his voice sounds dejected and strained. Somewhere in her heart, Makoto knows they are innocent. Morgana is right. Everything went according to plan._

_Until they left the palace under the impression all was fine…_

_It was extremely difficult to watch Haru’s reaction to her father’s death. It was so difficult in fact, that no one could say anything. No words of comfort, no words of apologies, no words to promise her they would find out who was responsible._

_That’s all it would have been: words._

_Everyone is in some sort of emotional state of panic during the meeting at Leblanc. Haru is absent. Futaba is crying quietly. The others seem to be staring out at nothing with various degrees of facial expressions. Morgana is the one who is doing his best to lighten the mood, and she can’t fault him for that._

_However, he knows it’s a fruitless venture, so he sighs from his spot on the table. “We should all get some sleep and take tomorrow off since it's a Sunday."_

_Usually, Ren is the one who makes the plans, or in some cases, she will, but everyone nods as if one of them had done so. She is thankful for it. She doesn’t think she can say anything with how tight her throat is._

_No one moves for several moments, but finally Ann throws herself off her chair. “Yeah, that’s probably for the best.”_

_Ryuji nods and stands as well. Ann helps Futaba to her feet and throws her arms over her shoulders. Futaba continues to cry into her as the three of them descend from the attic. Yusuke, although typically the quiet one, slowly stands up as well._

_“I wish there was something more we could do right now.”_

_She brings herself to her feet, but she doesn’t know how to respond to the comment. So she opts for silence._

_“We’ll figure out something when we all have a clear head,” Morgana says to help put the two of them at ease. “For now, let’s just…rest and calm down.”_

_Yusuke nods and walks down the stairs without another word. Morgana meets Makoto’s eyes, and she swears he is trying to tell her something with those bright blue eyes. When she only stares back at him, he uses his head to point to the teen sitting on the bed._

_Oh._

_She has yet to look at Ren for the sole purpose that her mind had been preoccupied with studying the floor. She realizes he has been silent the entire meeting, that he wasn’t even the one who asked to meet (Morgana had), that he had been more isolated from the rest of the group by taking his seat at the head of his futon._

_She assumes he is probably hurting the most, after Haru of course._

_She nods at Morgana, who in turn jumps to the floor and down the stairs without another word. Now that she is left alone with Ren, her throat tightens even more. What does Morgana want her to say to him? That everything will be fine? That they are not to blame, that_ he _is not at fault? She doesn’t believe words right now will do anything but make the pain worse._

_She decides to clean up the room instead. She reaches one of the folding chairs and nearly jumps out of her skin when Ren calls out to her._

_“Don’t.”_

_His voice is weak, almost as if he needs something to drink. She speaks the first thing that comes to her mind. “A-are you okay?”_

_She doesn’t expect him to say ‘of course’ or ‘no’, but when his hands cover his face, she freezes. She’s not very good with comforting people, let alone someone she is_ very  _attracted to, but she can’t walk away from him now. She tries to think of ways she can help him, but words will be meaningless and actions…well…she would find some way to make the situation worse._

_She moves to sit on the bed next to him, keeping a safe distance between them. If saying something to him won’t work, she could at least listen to him or let him know she’s there. She can’t tell if he knows she is beside him, so she lifts a hand, withdraws, and repeats until it comes to rest on his knee._

_She feels him tense at the contact._

_He lowers his hands to turn and look at her. He doesn’t appear to have been crying, but there is a swirling of emotions in his eyes that leaves her heartbroken nonetheless. Without realizing it, she lifts her hand from his leg to cradle the side of his face._

_She doesn’t know what she’s saying as she says it, but knows it’s what he_ needs _to hear. “Everything is going to be okay, Ren.”_

_The swirling stops and is replaced with something different._

_She never gets the chance to study it before he pulls her into him and kisses her._

_She tenses at first, unsure of what’s really happening, unsure of what to really do. But after some time, she begins to feel like he is_ healing  _her. He’s pulling all of her doubts, concerns, and fears out of her soul and into some space away from either one of them. She relaxes into him, which only makes him more earnest and eager. His lips move roughly against hers. A hand around her forearm tightens while the other finds its way into her hair to pull her closer to him._

_It’s all too much for her brain to comprehend, so it shuts off._

_The last thing she really recalls is him hovering over her with a loving smile on his face._

“You’re beautiful, you know that?”

She almost throws up.

And she might have, until her embarrassment hits her equally hard as she realizes she is completely naked.

She grabs at the bedsheets (that are now  _very_  uncomfortable) to cover herself while Ren smiles widely at her.

One of his hands reaches out to stroke her arm. “I wouldn’t mind getting used to this.”

“Stop.”

He withdraws his hand and his smile drops as she turns her back on him. Her eyes dart across the room in search of her clothes, but she feels a shift from behind her before she can stand up to grab them.

“I’m sorry.”

She doesn’t know if it’s the sound of regret in his voice or her own embarrassment that keeps her rooted to the bed. Either way, she has to face the reality of what has happened, whether she wants to or not. She turns so she can look at him; he is leaning up against the wall with his head titled back, eyes closed in frustration. She finds it increasingly difficult to look at him for long, as she can’t help but stare at his exposed upper body.

She looks away, her face growing hot. She needs to leave, and she needs to leave  _now_. She stands up too quickly, almost tripping on the sheets. She gathers up her clothes, makes a beeline towards the stairs, then stops when she hears voices below her.

Of course, if she is going to make a mistake, it’s going to be  _epic_.

“I’ll turn around.”

Through the tears she is fighting back, she watches Ren turn around on the bed and plant his head into the wall with a loud  _thud_. Her heart tightens, but everything she wants to say is too jumbled in her mind to successfully make it out of her mouth. She slowly walks back to the bed, even while every nerve is screaming at her to stop. He’s in pain. He’s hurt. He’s probably just as afraid and upset as she is.

Against her better judgement, she sits down behind him and reaches a hand out to rest on his shoulder. He flinches at the contact, quickly peering over his shoulder with eyes wide in surprise. She offers him a small smile and in return, he shifts to face her as he removes her hand from his shoulder and holds it between each of his own.

“I guess we should probably talk about this, huh?”

It always amazes her how he can say things so easily and casually. It also amazes her how simple phrases can render her speechless. However, this is serious, and she needs to address the issue before it spirals out of her control.  

But this is new to her. Not only is it new, it’s  _unexpected_. Unplanned. So she has no idea what to even say. An apology would never be enough. Plus, it’s kind of insulting. Sure, she may have had a huge crush on Ren for some time now, and some strange part of her is elated that he spent one passionate and emotional evening with  _her_. Still, she knows the regret is evident. And with the regret comes rejection.

It hurts more than she will ever admit.

“We probably should,” is all she’s able to find the courage to say. He smiles at her and pats the spot next to him. She scoots beside him, leaving plenty of space between them to avoid any additional awkwardness.

She discovers he has very little to say himself as he plays with a few strands of hair, one of his rare nervous ticks. She takes a deep breath, bracing herself for an argument, then filters and choses her words carefully before speaking.

“I think we were too emotional.” Yep, that’s all it was. There was no attraction. There was no serious feelings. It was just a one-time accident that stemmed from two highly emotional teenagers under an enormous amount of stress and grief after Okumura’s passing.

Ironically, it did nothing to ease the stress. If anything, it became a solid entity that threatened to wrap itself around her and squeeze the life out of her.

“I agree.” His voice pulls her from her thoughts. She’s grateful that he speaks, but she was hoping for a different response. His hands loosen around her own and he turns to look at the desk beside him. “It was stupid. It won’t happen again. Please don’t hate me.” Each phrase is a dagger to her heart. It’s hard to face him when he turns to her. “You’re a great friend, so can we…maybe…”

Her heart leaps in her throat as he trails off. Maybe he is going to tell her he wants to be with her, but…to take a step back. That yes, things moved too fast, but he didn’t react to her touch simply because she was some kind of outlet for his stress. That he had some (or a lot of) attraction to her.

He sighs and moves to the edge of the bed, and she can almost hear her heart dropping to the basin of her stomach. “Can we please just forget this happened?”

She wants to defend herself. She wants to question why he was so affectionate before she realized where she was and who she was with and what they had done. Did he not tell her something like,  _I could get used to this?_

She finds herself nodding instead, burying her feelings into a dark corner of her heart. “I can do that.”

But she doesn’t forget, and neither does he.

She stays behind after meetings on occasion. Other nights, he asks her to stay. Each time, she wakes up in bed with him the next morning.

One day, he even brings her breakfast before she can fully wake up.

He always asks for her forgiveness before she leaves. Because it’s nothing special. It never is.

It never will be.

-.-.-

It's almost unbearable to face him at school the following day.

Especially when he’s the one to approach her.

Makoto turns and looks up to greet the arrival when Ren steps into the student council room. As he slides the door closed behind him, her words catch in her throat. The room grows too hot too fast and she nearly topples over in her seat. 

She says nothing to him.

He says nothing to her.

Eventually, the crushing silence forces a pathetic "Can I help you?" out of her lungs.

 She can't tell if she feels happy or scared when her eyes meet his. "Sorry." He looks away and rubs the back of his head, something she notices he does when he's embarrassed. "Can I sit down?"

Her first instinct is to stammer out a "no" and an elaborate and reasonable excuse to refuse him. When she comes up emptyhanded, she sighs, trying not to sound too uneasy.

"That's fine," she replies with a surprisingly steady voice. A small smile forms on his lips, and she immediately knows she's done for.

_Why did I have to fall for him?_

“So, how are you?”

As he sits next to her, she watches him carefully. His demeanor is playful; hell, she finds him adorable right now, but his hesitation is palpable. He even looks like he doesn’t really know what to say, that he needs to have a reason to be sitting beside her.

Using her own logic that she’s the elder of the two _and_ student council president, she cuts through the mounting tension. “It’s been a long day.” Then, “how are you?”

She recognizes the exact moment he turns from anxious to relaxed, the smile spreading on his face. “I’d feel even better if you let me make dinner for you tonight.”

Just as quickly as the words leave his lips, her heart falls into her nearly empty stomach. Why is he asking her over? Did he not say he wanted to “forgive and forget” the events of the night before? Is he one of those teenage boys that once he gets a taste of passion and lust, he needs more of it? Did...maybe, did he really like her? Did he only want to make dinner and have a nice conversation with her? Or was there a hidden implication of “I expect something in return”?

It’s all too soon and too much for her to make sense of it. She needs clarification, but she needs to be careful, just in case she’s overreacting. 

“Just dinner?”

His eyes glow for a brief second, but when he blinks, it’s gone. He chuckles at her comment, possibly to hide the expression. “Well, we can study together, too, if you want. I know your entrance exams are coming up.”

Study? What exactly does he want to study? Why is she even thinking these kinds of thoughts? A week ago, she would have accepted the offer almost immediately.

But one night ruined that for good.

And it scares her to no end.

But, if she denies his request, what will he think of her? She promised him she would forgive him, yet here she is remembering everything and holding some sort of weak grudge. Deep down, despite all of her worries, she wants to spend time with him. She too wants to bury the incident in some unreachable, locked place in her heart. Because she does not want to lose her relationship with him. 

She drowns out her mind’s pleas to continue to analyze the situation and settles on siding with her feelings rather than her thoughts. She nods, smiles, and says, “I’d like that.”

He beams so cheerfully at her, he nearly sends her into cardiac arrest.

So she follows behind him (he even waits for her to wrap up her duties), praying that the pounding of her own heart is from the thrill of spending quality time with him and not...doing other stuff. She turns her attention to the little things: he’s smiling at her, occasionally looking down at her as they walk side by side; he’s standing closer to her than he has before; sometimes his fingers brush along hers, and she wants more than anything for him to take the chance to hold her hand.

All of her observations come to a halt when she finds herself standing in front of Leblanc. Ren holds the door open for her as she steps inside. She greets Sojiro as the older man narrows his eyes in what Makoto assumes is curiosity. 

Suddenly, she feels like she needs to explain why she’s here. Ren had made some excellent excuse when they both stumbled down the stairs the other night, one she wasn’t in the mindset to grasp at the time. But the longer Sojiro stares at the boy beside her, the more she worries he knows what really happened that night.

And he’s putting two and two together and thinking she’s here for a second round. 

Ren, in all his charismatic glory, ushers her into a booth with a smile. “Mind if I take over, Boss?”

There’s some unspoken, facial exchange between the two of them, then Sojiro’s face lights up. Ren walks behind the bar to fiddle around with supplies and the elder finds his pack of smokes and fedora. 

“Be my guest. I was looking for an excuse to close up shop early tonight.”

Feeling a pang of regret, Makoto shuffles in her seat. “I apologize for the intrusion, Boss. You don’t need to-,”

She catches the rare sight of his laughing face before he walks up to where she sits by the stairs. “You’re a breath of fresh air in this place.” She blushes at the compliment. “Just hope his terrible cooking doesn’t kill you.”

She instantly hears Ren come to his own defense, but she can’t help but laugh lightly at the banter. Sojiro tips his hat to her, then gives the chef-in-progress another unreadable but understood look before he walks out the door.

While the room is not totally silent, she feels as if she’s drowning in the lack of conversation. He’s busy cooking, sure, and she doesn’t want to bother him. But without words to cling to, she dives into her analysis again. What is he hoping for with her here? Does he want to have another “emotional session” with her? Does he feel as nervous as she is? Is he thinking anything at all?

“Thank you for coming.”

She jumps slightly at the sound of his voice. He notices because she hears him snicker from where he stands in the kitchen a few feet away from her. He speaks up as she fails to formulate a proper response.

“You don’t need to be so nervous around me. I’m not going to bite you.” She hears him approach and she can’t help but stiffen as he gets closer. “Unless you want me to.”

Gods over her, this boy is going to _kill_ her. Her heart comes to an abrupt stop, her brain goes blank, and she, quite literally, stops living. She knows she’s not going to come up with something to say to _that_.

 A light pressure on her shoulder jumpstarts her functionality. She almost breaks her neck with how quickly she looks up at him. He’s smirking, almost inviting her to tease him back. But…what the hell does one _say_ to that kind of remark, _especially_ given their recent past?

“I don’t want you to.” Well, she’s at least honest, but her tone could have been slightly more…light? Playful? Why is she so _bad_ at this? And why the hell does he have to be so _good_ at it? Ren’s smirk all but disappears and he turns and walks back to the kitchen to hide it. Great. Now she’s made things even worse.

So how does she remedy that? She stands up and grabs his wrist, spinning him around to face her. He’s taken back by the move, and she suddenly realizes that she doesn’t know how to proceed. He searches her eyes for something. What, she doesn’t know, but if she were to take a leap and guess, he’s asking for permission. To touch her. To hold her. To kiss her.

Feeling her face grow warm at the suggestions, she leans back and prepares an apology. But just as she opens her mouth, he pulls her closer. His hands travel up the length of her arms slowly, almost as if he’s waiting for her to tell him to stop. She shivers at his touch and steps into him because her natural reflex is that she’s _cold_ and he’s _warm_.

He leans in and kisses her. She knows this is the last thing she wants to have happen, but the tension eases in her shoulders and she just can’t help it. She matches the movement of his lips with hers and nearly yanks him to her to close the distance between their bodies. Slowly, she senses he’s growing more impatient and his hands start moving to her hips to tug at the edges of her shirt. She grabs his hands and takes a fraction of a step away.

That look in his eyes is back.

…So much for forgetting.

“We should eat.” All of her senses are screaming bloody murder at her for stopping, but she doesn’t want to give Ren the impression that _this_ is why she’s with him. But his hands slip from hers and pull her back into him. His lips slide past her own to hover over her ear.

“I’m kind of in the mood for something else.”

Even though she’s actually hungry, she also has to admit that curry doesn’t sound as good to her either.

And this is how the one-time accident becomes a full-blown habit. 

-.-.-

The Phantom Thieves scatter to complete the long-awaited mission. Except Queen. She sticks around for a few extra minutes to speak with Joker. It’s not uncommon; the two of them always went over last-minute plans, fine-tuning details that maybe the others brought up, but needed amended.

She knows they are alone. She wants to say so much to him in that very moment, but all she can say is, “Be careful.”

She stands in front of him for a few uncomfortable seconds, then turns to leave. A strong tug on her wrist forces her to turn on her heels and she slams into him as a result. His hands move quickly to lift her mask from her face and he leans in to kiss her. His hands move from her face to wrap around her waist in an effort to deepen the kiss.

While Joker is notorious for doing the unexpected at unexpected times, this takes the cake. And it scares her. It scares her so much that she doesn’t push him away. But something is different. Most of Ren’s kisses were needy and rough, but not this one. He’s almost trying to tell her that he’s going to be okay, that he will fight through the hell in his very soon-to-be future if it means he can come back to her. It’s a promise of communication, of trust, and it sweeps her off her feet.

It’s the only other time besides their first kiss that she melts in his arms.

He pulls away and she can feel her emotions roaring to life inside her. He stares into her eyes with a different look than what she is used to seeing underneath him. He breaks all physical contact with her and his trademark grin appears on his face.

She expects him to turn and run off after a witty remark to clear the lingering emotion from the air.

He speaks, but it’s not a witty remark.

“I-,” he breaths out, but it seems he’s choking on his words. It’s not a problem she ever expects him to encounter.

“It’s okay,” she says to hopefully alleviate the pressure. She knows how it feels to struggle to find the right words with little time. Or in her case, all the time in the world. “You can tell me later.”

She turns to head out of the room, but his voice stops her. “No.” She faces him again. “I need to say this.” She waits. He inhales, closes his eyes, and exhales. He repeats the process. “I…I…li…lo…damn it.” It hurts to see him fumble like this, but they _really_ need to get a move on.

“Joker, we need to go.”

His heavy sigh nearly knocks her to her knees. He clenches his fists and curses again under his breath, then nods his head and takes off out of the room. She watches him go, wanting nothing more than to tell him it’s okay and that this is all the more reason to come back alive. She doesn’t give much thought into what he wanted to say to her. All she knows is that whatever it was, it was going to crush her, one way or another.

She shakes her head and slides her mask back over her face. She runs out of the room with one last look at her sister’s unconscious shadow. She relays to the team (as planned) that she will retrieve the briefcase and orders everyone else to escape. The escape should not be hard to do, which unnerves her, because it reminds her that all the focus is on capturing Joker.

_Don’t do anything reckless._

She knows him better than that. That’s  _exactly_  what he is going to do.

She finds the briefcase right where it’s supposed to be. After checking the hallways for any shadows or guards, she rushes out a nearby emergency exit. While the specifics of their getaway was never detailed, they had all been in the palace so many times and every exit route was committed to memory. Each individual claimed one, then they would meet with others who left on the same side of the building for extra protection once outside. From there, they would proceed to a designated safe spot until the coast was clear.

When she exits the building, she hears a crash, as if someone had smashed through a window.  _Not_  to her surprise, she catches a glimpse of a young man in a black trenchcoat flying through the air and gracefully (and impressively) rolling into a landing. She rolls her eyes and continues to make her exit to rendezvous with Oracle and Fox.

_Show off_.

She reaches her location and keeps to the shadows of the casino walls, just in case a passerby notices her. She needs to be cautious, even though the enemy should be chasing Joker and, she winces, capturing him. She stops there, not wanting her imagination to get the better of her. He is depending on her to lead the team to safety. She is officially in charge now. She will not let him down.

“What a pleasant surprise!”

Her heart leaps in her throat as she turns to the intruder. Her fists tighten in a defensive move as Crow approaches her. “I-I wasn’t expecting to see you here.”  _Why is he not watching Joker’s capture…?_

If he senses her hostility, he doesn’t show it. “Did you see Joker bust through that window?”

Every instinct is telling her something is very wrong with his presence, but she shakes it off. She cannot let him find out about their plan. His placement at her side currently is just a small inconvenience. One she does not plan for, but she can work with.

“It was extremely dangerous.”

He smiles and steps a little too close to her. “You can admit it was impressive.”

She decides to play along and even offers a quiet laugh. “Yes, I suppose it was.”

Just then, the frantic voice of Joker reaches her ears. “I’ve made it out. We will reconvene at the Metaverse entrance. Don’t forget the briefcase.”

_What?_

A million thoughts run through her head. Nothing is adding up. Joker is not supposed to be with the group when they all meet up. And they were not supposed to meet at the Metaverse entrance. Is he being forced to communicate with the rest of the group? Is this a trap set up by the police? It was definitely his voice, but the concern and confusion in his tone is clear.

Something is wrong.

But with Crow standing right beside her, she struggles to make sense of the situation.

She hears some other voices in the background on the mic, but her focus is on the teen next to her. What is he up to? Did he find out about their plot? Did he catch on at some point? Or is he just waiting for the right moment and plans on capturing all of them?

“What about the rest of you? Who has the briefcase? Do any of you need help?”

Joker is good at improvising, but she can tell he is utterly stumped. Meaning there is no police. There is going to be no arrest, not right now anyway. But that makes no sense to her; the guards had been chasing him  _inside_  the building, right? So why did they stop their pursuit? Surely his escape via glass window was not that surprising to warrant giving up their attempt to capture him…

She snaps out of her thoughts when Crow laughs beside her. “That was quite impressive.”

“Dude, this ain’t the time to be jokin’ around!” She recognizes a frantic and confused Skull. She knows what he is going to say, and if the alarm bells went off in Crow’s mind, she wouldn’t know what to do.

She effectively cuts him off before he finishes. “I have the briefcase. I’ll meet up with you guys at the suggested location.”

She implies that she will meet them at the entrance, but she knows she can’t lead Crow there. He may be waiting for them to gather before he makes his move. So, she makes a plan to stall for as long as she can to gather more information about what could be to come. She does need to move, however, to keep suspicions to a minimum. With a random destination in mind, she takes one step away from the shadows.

A hand clamps tightly around her arm. “Where are you going?”

She tries to ignore her instinctual urge to throw him over her shoulder and punch his lights out. “We are headed to our meeting spot, per Joker’s request.” Not really, but he doesn’t need to know that. She pulls her arm out of his grip, perhaps a little too forcefully. “Is there some reason you don’t want to go?”

“I have a better idea.”

Oh.

He chuckles when she drops into a defensive stance. She could explain her reaction (they _are_ still inside a dangerous palace), but a part of her feels like he’s about to make a move. A move that she needs to be prepared for.

“He loves you, doesn’t he?”

Out of all the moves she thought of, that was not one of them. She reaches for her weapons when he takes a step towards her. She wants more than anything to punch that smirk off his face.

“What are you talking about?”

He laughs, and it unnerves her to the core. He lifts his mask and for a moment, she panics that he is going to summon Robin Hood. However, he simply wipes at his eyes with his pristine white gloves before turning his attention back to her.

“I wonder what the king will do without his queen?”

She feels the wind leave her lungs and the color drains from her face. It hits her right then and there what’s going on. Joker was not the intended target of capture. Ren had even warned her of the possibility, but she had thought little of it. Everything made perfect sense to her now.

She knows she should turn and run, that Crow is a force to be reckoned with, but this is personal. Crow as a person has nothing on her in a fight, and she is willing to bet Johanna could give Robin Hood a run for his money. The fighting would likely get someone else’s attention, so she really just needs to hold him off until that happens.

She doesn’t even get one move in before something slams into the side of her head, knocking her to the ground, hard. She can barely make out footsteps approaching, and she hears two different voices speaking. One was Crow, the other was unknown, likely one single officer Crow had asked to accompany him. She tries to fight through the blinding pain, but she collapses after only managing to push herself to her knees.

As she slips out of consciousness, Crow leans over her and smiles.

“Checkmate.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Damn, this just kept getting longer and longer. 
> 
> I enjoy putting Ren and Makoto into compromising situations. I know that society tends to form friendships, then relationships, then the aspect of sleeping together can be talked about. But I enjoy viewing their relationship from an uncommon perspective. One of the detectives in the TV series I'm invested in said something along the lines of: when human emotion trumps reason, anything is possible. And I fully believe that. Plus, if I were to write about a conventional relationship, it would just be another story among the thousands that are out there. And if you don't know me, I tend to explore the unpopular side of life. 
> 
> I'm also very sadistic. No more comment on that.
> 
> A huge thanks for the support! I hope to keep all of you invested!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So now I have to start writing characters in more detail than I thought, except for Ann. Least favorite (and literally only character I didn't like). I need to apologize in advance in case certain characters come off too headstrong or just completely wrong. However, it's kind of fun writing something different while putting everything together.
> 
> Note: I'm working on Akechi sections now...and I love him. What this means is that the story is getting a bit longer than I anticipated. Just a heads up.
> 
> Side note: If you have never watched the live version of Les Miserables, I HIGHLY recommend you do. Even if you have to drive halfway across the state. Do it!
> 
> Enjoy!

Every time something went wrong, he could count on her to be there.

He didn’t even have to ask. He just had to _look_ at her the right way, and then she would be nestled in the safety and comfort of his arms and he would always be so _happy_.

He had no idea when it started. She was an interesting character. Just when he thought he could predict what she would do, she would throw him for a loop and leave his jaw agape. Most of the time, he closed his mouth angrily because she had been incredibly stupid and put herself in great danger. Half of those times, she snapped at him for even telling her that, but then she would avert his gaze, sigh, and offer a heart-felt apology. So he fell into a routine of asking what she was doing and where she was, really anything to put his mind at ease so he knew she wasn’t going to do something to end up _dead_.

He assumed somewhere along the way, his concern for her well being became something a little more serious.

While Ren may have been told he was a charismatic guy and could charm every and any girl he crossed paths with, he denied it. He simply thought of himself as being kind. And he worried a lot about people. He didn’t have many friends because of just how worried he would get over the stupidest things. He thought that it was because of that personality flaw that Makoto always grew upset with him.

But he eventually stopped _trying_ to find her and started _wanting_ to find her. She was becoming some sort of constant in his life. They could sit down and talk about intelligent topics, both agree to disagree about their opinions, or talk about the most asinine and mundane subjects they could think of.

When he caught a glimpse of her blush for the first time, something bloomed in his chest. He didn’t know what to do with it.

So he ignored it.

Strong attachments were hard to come by, but when they were broken, a part of him died. He worked hard to keep whatever that feeling was from growing, but as the flower shop owner liked to tell him, “Once the seed is planted, it only needs the right conditions to grow.”

And in his one true moment of weakness and desperation following Okumura’s death, it grew with a vengeance.

Just as quickly as the seed had sprouted in his heart, she ripped it out and killed it.

The look of horror on her face would forever be etched in his mind, right next to Okumura’s bleeding face.

He tried to chalk it up to an “emotional accident,” which she seemed to agree with. He was hurt, but her feelings were more of a priority than his own. So he asked for her forgiveness, that he would forget it ever happened, and he would just pretend like he didn’t fuck her senseless the night before.

But with the flower wilting in the palm of her hand, he knew that their friendship would never be the same again.

-.-.-

“I’m sorry.”

He curses himself as he watches Makoto descend the stairs without looking back at him. This was _not_ what his original intention was by asking her over last night. He had wanted to clear the air, to show her that he really wasn’t going to let the events of the other night ruin their friendship. He would push down his feelings in an effort to make her comfortable around him again.

He was stupid to ask her over.

He was stupid to try and flirt with her.

So, here he is now, fingers painfully pulling at his hair because he is a fucking idiot.

He hears her return up the stairs, which surprises him. The first time she stayed, they didn’t have school, and they had company. She couldn't have dashed out in embarrassment even if she had wanted to. However, they have school today. She must have forgotten something because why else would she want to return to his room? Perhaps to tell him she's leaving, or she never wants to see him again? 

He looks up at her and meets her eyes for a second, then she breaks contact. He sits a bit taller when he notices a light blush on her face. Well, he _is_ still naked, but he can’t help but feel proud at the unspoken compliment.

She doesn’t look up at him until she comes to sit down on the chair by his desk. “A-are you going to, um, g-get changed?”

His heart nearly explodes in his chest at the insinuation that she’s in his room, sitting down, and asking if he’s going to get dressed. Almost like she _wants_ to watch him. She wouldn’t have taken a seat to ask, then leave, right?

Laughter erupts from his throat. “Are you going to watch me?”

Her face turns bright red and she’s quickly on her feet. His shoulders drop. It’s probably too soon for him to be making those kinds of remarks. Just like how his comment blew up spectacularly in his face last night.

He really needs to learn to keep his mouth shut sometimes.

He finds his voice again when she walks towards the stairs. “Hey.” His tone comes off a little too desperate, but she does come to a stop. “Will you wait for me?”

Their eyes meet once more and he holds his breath while he waits for her response. Finally, she offers him a smile and nods her head. “Don’t take too long. You know I like to be at school early.”

His smile widens to the point it hurts. He releases the air from his lungs and laughs to himself as she walks down the stairs. He can’t find the energy to get up and he tips over onto his pillow. How he manages to avoid another painful (and maybe even a final) goodbye is beyond him. He knows he can’t press his luck any further, and it would probably be for the best to discuss the situation with her before they reach school.

If he has learned anything about the last few days with her, it’s that one touch is all he needs to block all sense of reasoning and act on his emotions. Did he like her? Of course. Did he _love_ her? He’s not sure. Did _she_ think and feel the same things? Well, that’s what they need to talk about.

They had crossed the line they had agreed on once, so the awkwardness of it all wasn’t nearly as dense as the first time. She didn’t seem to be as horrified waking up next to him, even if the regret was still lingering in the air. Basically, if they could endure these kinds of reactions and emotions, rejection would be a much easier thing to deal with.

Right?

What’s going to happen if he tells her he likes her, and she says she doesn’t feel the same? He would like to think she feels _something_ for him, but if that’s only a sense of respect for him rather than a romantic interest, how would he react? Would he really be willing to not only deal with the regret of sleeping with her, _twice_ , but add more strain on their friendship when she denies him? Is saying anything to her even worth it?

He comes to the decision that he will think on it before he says something to her. Maybe stop asking her over and start asking her _out_. Go to the movies, go with her to the gym, help her with schoolwork somewhere _besides_ his room. He’ll read her expressions and reactions then. He doesn’t want her to think he only spends time with her because she’s a person he can have sex with.

He _really_ doesn’t want to lose spending any amount of time with her, which is why he’s going to change _how_ he spends that time. If she doesn’t like him more than just a friend, well, maybe he can work on that. Let her mold him into the type of person she likes as long as it’s something he can cope with.

His mind set, he throws himself off his bed and rushes to get ready for school. He’s all but smiling as he makes his way down the stairs, bag in hand (and lighter thanks to a missing Morgana). He comes to an immediate stop on the last stair, his eyes landing on the only other patron in the shop. How is Sojiro not here yet?

But that’s not why he stops. Makoto sits on one of the chairs at the bar, her hands to her head as if she’s in pain. The dread and guilt hit him like a bullet train and his feet are frozen to the floor. She must have heard him come down the stairs, because no sooner does he take in her appearance is she turning and forcing a weak smile.

“Are you ready?”

The strain in her voice is too much for his heart to take. He drops his head to his chest, curses once more, then finds the strength to move. “I’m sorry, Makoto. Please,” he stops to brace himself for the pain of his own words. “Please forgive me.”

Her silence is the final stab to his heart. By some miracle, he shakes it off and walks towards the door without looking at her. He doesn’t want to see the expression on her face. He doesn’t want to have the walk to school be so damn suffocating and have that energy to rely on for the rest of the day.

He buries his regret and sorrow once more because _she’s_ more important than his own feelings. “Can I have the honor of walking you to school at least?”

She pushes her chair back, grabs the bag by her feet, then comes to stand next to him without a word. He holds the door open for her as she walks through and his heart picks up its pace by a fraction of a beat when she waits for him to lock up. At this point, he half expects her to run off, but she stays, and that makes him happy.

They walk in crushing silence until they reach Yongen-Jaya Station. He pulls out his phone as a means of distraction and he’s relieved when he finds a few unread messages. He catches Makoto shift out of the corner of his eyes, then she takes a deep breath and he holds his own in anticipation.

“I’m sorry, too, Ren.”

His fingers grip his phone to keep from dropping it, but before he can form a rebuttal, she beats him to it. “I should have stopped you, and I didn’t. So please, _please_ don’t blame yourself. I’m just as much to blame as you are.”

The arrival of the train to Shibuya cuts off any reply he would have said. As the doors open, he extends his hand towards her and flashes a smile. “Well, my Queen, let’s get going.”

Her smile in return eases some of the pain in his heart as she takes his hand and they both step onto the train. He never lets go of her hand until they make their transfer, then he reaches for it without asking. The light dusting of pink growing on her face is the reason his heart reaches its original, unbroken state.

He’s very grateful for the near-packed train in Shibuya, as he gets to wrap one arm around her to keep her steady. She stiffens when his hand reaches the small of her back, but she never protests or pushes him away. As the train continues on its path, he swears she leans into him without the excuse of the bumpy ride.

It is at this moment he knows that everything is going to be okay.

-.-.-

That night after the heist, the silence is broken with the question everyone wants to ask.

“How the hell did he catch wind of our plan?!”

Ren does all he can to focus on a _rescue_ mission, but it’s extremely difficult to do when all he wants is to find Akechi and kill him. Makoto’s safety must be his first priority. Everyone had all agreed that sleep would be hard to come by and time was not on their side. While he had wanted everyone to go home and rest, their determination had been overpowering.

“I have no idea,” Futaba replies. “We had his phone bugged and when I checked last night, there was nothing new! He couldn’t have known!”

The room falls silent once more, but the gears in everyone’s head are very much in motion. Ann is next to speak up. “Well, I don’t mean to sound like a terrible person here, but Akechi _is_ pretty smart. What if he just…figured it out?”

“I woulda known,” is Futaba’s immediate response. “I kept track of where he was, who he spoke with, everything! There’s no way he did something without me knowing!”

Ann holds up her hands in defense at the younger girl’s retort. Yusuke, however, always seems to speak when someone is angry, as if he just reads lips and not the emotion behind the words.

“What if he didn’t use his phone?”

Futaba turns her glare to the boy sitting across from her. “He’s _always_ on his phone! All of _you_ are, too!”

But Yusuke actually brings up something he had never considered. Yes, Akechi is intelligent, but he may have been more observant than Ren gave him credit for. What if he found Futaba’s behavior strange when she stole his phone while the others tried to buy her time by deflecting his attention? He also worked with the police, so him talking to officers personally would not at all be suspicious. He didn’t need to use his phone to contact them if his plans changed.

“What if he got a new phone?”

Ren swears Futaba is going to lunge across the table and strangle Yusuke, but Morgana intervenes. “Regardless,” he says as the younger girl leans back in her seat. “That’s not really important. We can work out how he discovered our plan later. Right now, we need to focus on getting Makoto back.”

Slowly, all eyes in the room turn to him. His defense reaction is to ask why everyone is looking at him, but now isn’t the time to be hiding secrets from his friends. They only want to help. Hell, he’s pretty sure Morgana and Futaba are very well aware of his relationship with Makoto anyway.

“You need to tell us how you knew what was going on, Ren.”

Morgana’s statement chills him to the bone. There’s some slight resentment in his voice, almost telling him that he is disappointed in his leader. He shakes his head to rid himself of the thought. Again, he can deal with repercussions later.

“I didn’t really _know_ it was going to happen,” he says, his eyes falling to the floor. “It was just a feeling.” He pauses, his hands balling into fists on his lap under the table. He takes a deep breath before he lifts his head to continue. “Akechi had been coming around the last few days before the operation.” Everyone’s eyes widen at this, but he presses on. “I didn’t think anything of it at first. We would sit and talk and play chess and kind of unwind that way. But…”

When he trails off, Morgana pounces. “But what, Ren?”

In retrospect, he should have told the team. But there was little time, and after speaking to Makoto, he really didn’t know if it was a valid threat, or as she had stated, was just a method to throw him off balance to make his capture easier. His stomach begins to turn and his nails dig deep into his palms. He could have saved her. _They_ could have saved her! But he was stupid and kept his mouth shut!

“Now is not the time to dwell on your regrets.”

It’s Haru.

“You obviously feel like you should have done something, but the reason I feel like we need to know is so we can help.” She smiles sweetly at him, and he swallows to clear his throat. He will not cry in front of them. “Please, remember that she is also our friend and any information you have could help us find her.”

The stifling tension in the room fades into a sense of understanding. It’s a powerful change, he can even see sparks ignite in each of his friend’s eyes. He actually has to look away for a brief moment because he is sure he’s about to cry.

Composing himself enough, he turns to his friends and tells them what had happened. “It was a normal game of chess right up until he attacked my queen with no real reason. It actually cost him a critical move to end the game.” He pauses to steady himself, anger creeping into his tone from remembering that damn smirk as Akechi dangled his game piece. “He told me that sometimes, it’s not always fun to take out the king directly, but to watch what happens when he loses his most important player.”

Everyone is equally surprised, then the surprise fades into anger. “Oh, _hell_ no!” He anticipates an outburst from Ryuji, but he is also relieved to hear that his friends are just as pissed off as he is. “And he thinks he’s gonna get away with this?!”

Futaba is on her computer instantly. “Oh, I’m going to find you, you piece of stupid human flesh!”

“So you think instead of going after you, he cancelled his plan and single-handedly went after Makoto?” Morgana asks.

“That’s incredibly foolish of him,” Yusuke adds as he folds his arms over his stomach. “She would have utterly destroyed him.”

Ren almost laughs while Morgana responds with, “In a one-on-one fight _here_ , yes, but in the Metaverse? He’s extremely dangerous.”

Yusuke shrugs his shoulders. Ryuji chimes in under his breath. “I think she’d still kick his ass.”

Regardless of how impressive (and intimidating) Makoto could have been, Morgana is correct. Akechi also could have very easily caught her off guard. Suddenly, a new wave of fear causes him to double over, successfully halting all conversation around him.

“Ren?”

What if she was already dead?

What if Akechi pulled the trigger meant for him and _killed_ her?!

He’s going to be sick.

He pushes his chair back and stands quickly. Again, it’s Haru’s voice that stops him in his tracks. “Do you think she’s dead?”

The silence fills the room once more and his guilt pulls on him until he collapses back in his seat. His hands cover his face and he groans in frustration. “I don’t know.”

“I don’t think he will kill her.” He lowers his hands and stares at the cat sitting in front of him. “He wants to kill _you_ , so I’m sure he’s holding her as collateral.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I don’t think he would either,” Futaba says as she looks at him over her computer screen. “I mean, the big dogs are probably the ones pushing him to kill you, so I still think it’s the end goal.” She turns her attention back to the computer. “I may need more time to actually confirm that, since it seems that Inari might be right about the phone.”

Ren’s voice sounds desperate, even to his own ears. “How much time will you need?”

Futaba gives him a classic ‘ _is that a challenge_ ’ look before returning to her computer. “I’ll find something by the end of the night, or I won’t eat Sojiro’s curry for a week!”

“Perfect!” Ryuji stands and stretches his arms over his head. “Futaba has a task, so what about us?”

“A trip to the police station might give us some insight as to where Akechi could be.”

Ann’s suggestion trips a wire in Ren’s mind. “No.” He is quick to his feet. “I have a better idea.” Some semblance of a plan comes together. “Ryuji, I want you to speak to Mishima. Tell him to keep the Phan-Site active and public. Forge comments if you have to. I need everyone who checks the site to know they haven’t heard the last of us.”

Ryuji offers a thumbs up and he turns to Ann. “Go with Ryuji so I know that the two of them don’t get off topic.”

Ann laughs as his blonde friend shouts a “hey man!” before he addresses Yusuke. “I need you to head to Shinjuku and speak to Ohya, the news reporter at the Crossroads bar.” He pulls out his wallet and hands him a few thousand yen bills. “Tell her I sent you. If that’s not enough, tell her you’re Madarame’s pupil. She’ll likely ask you for details, but tell her _after_ she agrees to publish a headline story about the Phantom Thieves. It can be good or bad, _I don’t care_ , so long as it’s published by morning.”

Yusuke stares at the money in his hands like it’s the most beautiful thing in the world. “Word of advice, bro,” Ryuji says before he steps down the stairs. “Don’t linger. There’s some…strange people out that way.”

“Futaba, I need you to put a tracker in Morgana’s collar.” The feline perks up at his name. Ren drops his gaze to meet his eyes. “After it’s on, I need you to find Akechi. Follow him around. Maybe it will help us find Makoto, or he will say something. I trust you enough to know what you’re doing.”

Morgana rises to all fours and shakes his head in confirmation. “I mean, I _am_ the best.”

Ren allows himself a small smile before turning his attention to Haru. “You’re coming with me.”

His senpai claps her hands together and smiles. “Where are we headed to?”

“We’re going to talk to Sae.”

As everyone files out of Leblanc, Ren speaks to them one last time. “Don’t stay out too late. Don’t get into trouble. Futaba, keep us posted on what you learn.”

They all nod in affirmation and go their separate ways. As he heads to the train station with Haru, he turns to her and says, “thank you. For earlier.”

She’s caught off guard by his comment, but she smiles at him a moment later. “I just ask one thing in return.”

“And what’s that?”

“I get to use Akechi as target practice for my new rocket launcher.”

Her smile and deadly implication is contagious. “You can have his remains when I’m done with him.”

-.-.-

“She said she’ll be here as soon as she can.”

Ren releases his breath. He was worried that Sae would have denied a request to speak to Haru about her father’s murder. He played on the fact that it was her _job_ to investigate, and if she was anything like her sister, nothing was left open-ended. Especially with the push from Haru that she “may or may not” also have information about the Phantom Thieves.

To be honest, Ren is nervous. _Extremely_ nervous. He may have used Haru’s situation to pull Sae away from corrupt ears — or worse — Akechi himself, but time is not on his side. The others may have convinced him that Akechi wouldn't kill Makoto, but that didn't mean he wouldn't _hurt_ her. Deep down, he believes Akechi’s main objective is to kill _him_ ,  but he still doesn’t know how he plans on going about it, or when. All he can say, is that the longer it drags on, the more he’s going to lose focus and fall apart. 

And that means he needs Sae on his side. He assumes that coming out and telling her that her younger sister has been kidnapped by Akechi will only create chaos. Sae is likely more intelligent than he’s aware of, but this situation isn’t about smarts. It’s about emotion. And he needs to approach her cautiously, but immediately at the same time.

He needs her to trust him, to help him, to help Makoto, and if she knows of the full situation, she may be able to help. The fact that concerns him is that they didn’t officially change her heart, so he is unsure how she’s going to react. But she must still love her sister, right?

It’s a huge gamble, but he has little options and little time. He can only pray that he plays his hand correctly. Because things are either going to go terribly wrong, or wonderfully right. The stakes are too high for him to mess up now.

He can only hope that Makoto’s safety is more important to Sae than anything else, or he’s fucked.

“When she gets here,” he says as he faces Haru. “I need you to leave the two of us alone.” He raises his hands when she opens her mouth. “I don’t want her to implicate you in anything I say. Or have her turn her focus on you and ignore me completely.” Her mouth closes. “Please, trust me.”

She doesn’t appear to like what he tells her, but she slowly nods her head. “You appear to know what you’re doing.” She smiles. “I trust you.”

A small wave of relief washes over him as they continue to wait in silence. His mind is still racing with last minute questions and concerns, trying to tie up loose ends that he may not think about in the heat of the impending conversation. Sae is going to be sharp. He _must_ know what he’s going to say before he even says it. Any amount of hesitation will land him six feet under. 

He’s never been one for a script, but right now, he sure as hell could use one.

Ren had asked Haru to hold the meeting in one of the warehouses of her father’s business to keep their discussion a secret. The warehouse is deserted, something he wanted but is saddened about at the same time, but Haru didn’t seem to mind. It’s easy enough to know when Sae arrives as he can see the headlights from a car cut through the shadows of the entrance. Haru walks out of the office room to greet her, and he is hit with a terrifying thought.

What if Sae suspected an ambush and brought back-up?

She probably deals with a shitload of crazy criminals, and what’s more shady than asking to meet at some closed up warehouse _alone_?

He almost falls out of his seat when Haru appears with a woman he’s met once, but recognizes immediately.

Apparently, Sae is just as surprised to see him.

Her eyes narrow after recovering from her shock, and something cracks in him. He knows the look well.

_I’m going to save you._

Clearing the thoughts away, he stands to greet her. “I believe we’ve met once.”

Her glare intensifies. Haru takes the opportunity to slip quietly out of the room. “You’re that delinquent transfer student.”

He wants to say something snarky in response, but doesn’t believe it’s a great way to start the conversation. He decides to not waste her time before he loses her interest and leaves. “I’m sorry for calling you out here like this, but there’s something I need to ask you.” A deep breath. “I need your help.”

He swears she scoffs at him. “My _help_? I didn’t come here to engage in your teenage-,”

“It’s about your sister.” He gets the reaction he hopes for. Her words come out as a gasp, her eyes go wide, and her body stiffens. He has her full attention, so he can’t afford to lose it now. “She’s been-,”

“What have you done to her?!”

He blinks and she’s backing him into the wall, her expression forcing him to hold his hands up in defense. Words tumble out of his mouth. “I-I didn’t do anything!”

His back hits the wall as she stands inches away. He honestly fears for his life. “I will murder you, cut you into pieces, and _burn_ your remains if I find out you did _anything_ to her!”

A part of him is happy to know she’s so upset about her sister.

The other part of him…is horrified.

“Please, I need you to listen to me.” He shuts his eyes, more so to remove the terrifying images of her cutting his body in half, and blurts out, “She’s been kidnapped and I need your help to get her back.”

The silence is almost as scary as her reaction. Realizing this is the best chance he has, he lays out the situation for her. “Without going in to too much detail, Akechi threatened to kill me. But when he realized he was outmatched, he went after her. I don’t think he’s going to hurt her, because he wants to hurt me, but I need as much help as I can get right now. So I’m reaching out to you.”

Again, he meets silence. It’s overpowering, and he can barely breathe. He lifts his head to look at her, but his heart sinks as he takes in her reaction.

She doesn’t believe him.

She says as much. “You expect me to believe you? _You_ , some criminal youth who has nothing better to do than fabricate stories?” The glare returns. “And you involved my _sister_ in it as well? She knows better than to associate with juveniles like you!”

He stands a bit straighter at the insult, but reminds himself he’s not here to pick a fight with her. “You can call me whatever you want, but it doesn’t change the situation. Makoto is my friend, one of my best friends, so please-,”

“How _dare_ you say that about her!” Ren bites his tongue until he’s fairly certain he tastes blood. “Don’t even _think_ that you are good enough to be her friend! Trash like you don’t deserve to speak to someone like Makoto!”

As hard as he tries to prevent it, he snaps. Somehow, he keeps his voice calm and quiet, but his tone is quite clear. “Do you know how scared she gets on the nights you don’t come home? Do you know how many times I’ve stayed up on the phone with her because she doesn’t want to _be alone_? Do you know that her biggest fear is that you _hate_ her?! Because she’s not good enough in your eyes?! Would you even know if she was missing, or would you only know when the school called, or some uniformed officer told you she was _dead_!?”

He pauses to catch his breath, to unclench his fists (he can feel blood trickle down his wrists), but more importantly, to let his words sink in. But he doesn’t stop for long.

“I love your sister.” He feels his heart break at the confession because he’s not saying it to _her_. “I would do anything for her. I would listen to you berate me all day long if it helps bring her back. So really, I’m not asking you to help _me_ ; I’m asking you to help _her_.”

Ren stares at the ground for a long while before he finds the courage to look up at Sae. She’s a mix of facial expressions, which leads him to believe that he’s gotten through to her on some level. But he doesn't think she's fully convinced. “I’ll do this with or without your help, but if your sister’s safety isn’t enough to persuade you, I’ll add an extra incentive.” He barely manages to swallow the lump building in his throat. “I’ll tell you everything you want to know about the Phantom Thieves.”

He really wants this to be a last resort, but the flash in Sae’s eyes is instantaneous. “What?”

He doesn’t repeat himself. “Will you help me, or not?”

She is quiet for a few minutes, but his eyes remain on her face while she reaches her decision. She locks eyes with him, and the pressure lifts off his chest. He recognizes the determination. Makoto had the same look when she told him that night that everything was going to be okay.

He just doesn’t know which objective it comes from: her sister’s safety, or her career.

“What do you need me to do?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few things to note: When I was playing the game, I was very surprised someone like Akechi never blinked twice about Futaba grabbing his phone and the others distracting him. It may just have been the fact that I am a very skeptical person and I already had my doubts about him since he first appeared in the game. It's not the only thing suspicious the party did, but hey. It was still an eye-opener when in my first play-through, he kills Ren and I'm just staring at the TV going, WHAT THE F**K!?
> 
> I also struggled writing Sae's part in this. My original intention had been to have Ren come out and tell her he was the leader, but the more I planned it out, the harder and harder it was to write. So since I seem to be basing everyone's actions on emotion, I went with it. Given that Sae's job is weeding out liars and the like, I left it at that. I kind of needed her on his side for the coming chapter. 
> 
> Thanks for reading and I wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving!


	4. Chapter 4

Pressure.

That’s what he wants Akechi to feel. He wants it to be so powerful that it literally crushes the teen into a bloody and bruised mess of flesh and bones. And he wants to take in the sight, wearing his trademark grin and ignoring any and all cries for help or forgiveness.

But he won’t do any of that, because then he would be no better than Akechi. It sure as hell didn’t mean he couldn’t dream about it, though.

Ren falls on his bed after escorting Haru home. How the hell is he supposed to sleep? How the hell is he going to stop his brain from shooting off more ideas and more concerns and more images and…

He closes his eyes and exhales. Every time he loses control, he reminds himself that _this_ is what Akechi wants. In order for that damn prodigy to fall at his mercy, Ren needs to keep his composure. It’s going to be hard, there’s no denying that. But if he fails, he faces the very real possibility of never seeing Makoto again. And that’s a thought he will not entertain.

According to his friends, they were able to do what he had asked of each of them. Morgana had yet to return home, which worries him, but Ren trusts him. After the stunt Morgana had pulled during the Okumura operation, he knows the cat-but-not-cat realizes his limits.

But it’s the first night in a very long time where he finds himself truly alone. Thankfully he’s laying down on the bed, or the gravity of the thought would have knocked him over.

His vision grows blurry and he curses himself. Makoto is likely alone as well, so who is he to sit here like a fucking baby and cry because _he_ can’t have some sort of company? She didn’t choose to be kidnapped. She didn’t _want_ to be alone. He actually thinks that was the exact reason she had decided to stay with him all those nights. And it shakes him to the core to realize just how important she was to him now that she _can't_ be with him.

He allows himself a moment to shed a tear or two. He has lost a vital part of his life, one he plans on getting back, but still. He rolls onto his side and throws his bedsheets over his shoulders, mimicking the action as if Makoto is there next to him. He closes his eyes, allowing one last tear to fall from his eyes before he tells himself he’s only going to be of help to her if he’s rested.

His night is bombarded with painful memories and terrifying nightmares. He knows that sleep is pointless, but he tries anyway. Maybe when he wakes up, she’ll be laying right there next him.

-.-.-

She wakes up alone on Ren’s bed. It’s a deviation from their routine, but one that’s not unwelcome. It’s always the worst part: waking up snuggled against him and seeing his smile, his fingers brushing over the side of her face. It’s a teaser to her heart to see the one thing she would love to see every day, only for him to sit up, realize what he is doing, apologize, and ask her to forgive him.

One day, she’s going to have to tell him to stop asking her over. She needs to break this cycle before it devours her and destroys what little pride she has left at this point. If she’s going to end it, maybe she can go out in style and tell him how she _really_ feels about him.

She loves him. Just…not their situation. She knows she’s equally to blame, but before she really could grasp the game they were playing, she was consumed by it. As inexperienced and ignorant as she was, she had wanted to talk to someone about it for advice. But who would she talk to? Sae? She would have _murdered_ Makoto. All of her friends were his friends, except Eiko, but _gods_ help her if _she_ ever found out she was messing around with Shujin's bad boy. The only person she really talked to about things that bothered her was Ren, and she didn’t think she would ever find it in her heart to come clean with him.

A sinking feeling hits her and she realizes she’s ashamed of herself. And _that’s_ why she never talks to anyone. Because they would view her in a different light, and then they would judge her and tell her she was stupid. It was why she couldn't tell Ren how she really felt. In doing so, she would have to acknowledge that shame and her ego would take another critical hit and she is fairly certain it can't take another without crushing her completely. 

“Good morning, beautiful.”

She clutches the sheets to her chest and turns to face Ren. He’s smiling, but that’s not the only thing he’s doing.

He’s holding a tray of food and two cups of (presumably) coffee.

There’s a light blush that comes to his face, but at her distance, she can’t say if it’s really there or if it's just her imagination. His stutter is mildly cute. “I uh, thought you’d be hungry.”

She presses her lips together to keep herself from sobbing. Why, why did he have to be so sweet and adorable and _perfect_ when he’s going to ask her to forgive and forget? She drops her gaze to her hands to keep him from asking why she’s upset, but she already knows _he knows_.

He’s at her side in a second, stopping only to place the tray on his desk. “I’m so sorry. Please, please forgi-,”

“No.”

She doesn’t want to hear it again. Not now. The next second, Ren’s shoulders drop. She knows she needs to elaborate. He probably believes she won't forgive him again, and that he has upset her for the last time. She’s about to speak to tell him she doesn’t want to hear his apology, but he stands and effectively cuts her off.

“Right. Are you hungry, then?”

She is, but she’s very uncomfortable and she doesn’t know if whatever he’s made will sit in her stomach for long. But she doesn’t have the heart to add more insult to injury and she nods when she can’t find her voice.

His smile, although regrettably forced, makes her slightly more comfortable.

When he sits down in front of her on the bed, he places the tray between them. It strikes her as odd to be one: eating on his bed, and two: eating curry for breakfast. Her eyes travel from his face to the plates, then back up to his face again.

“Curry?”

Light returns to his eyes and she can feel the blush working its way to her cheeks. “Don’t knock it till you try it.” He scoops up one of the plates and places it on his lap. “I thought the same thing until Sojiro made it for me on my first day of school. Now,” he adds as he takes a bite. “It’s tradition.”

While she’s happy to hear the delight his voice, it fails to drown out all of her worries. She forces them down, along with a spoonful of _amazing_ curry. She will not kill the pleasant mood with the heavy topic of their relationship. Whenever the urge becomes too much, she throws food in her mouth to keep words from leaving her lips.

“I kind of want to stay here, like this, and not go to school, or anywhere. There's something... _comforting_ about being here. With you.”

She coughs on her meal and reaches for her cup of coffee on the tray. He chuckles at her, but his eyes are warm and his smile is contagious.

“I mean it.”

The tears threaten to fall from her eyes again, but she bites her lip until she’s in pain. Ren turns his gaze to the sunshine that’s weakly peaking in through the window at the early hour. He loses his smile in the process, and she becomes cold. He only looks over at her when she returns her cup to the tray and lifts the sheets over her shoulders.

“Oh.” He shuffles and comes to sit beside her after noticing that she’s only wearing the sheets. She also catches a pink tint on the skin around his nose. His arms come to cross over her and he pulls her into him. She’s rigid against him for a second, then the dam bursts and she cries into his chest.

She hates herself in this moment of weakness. She wants _so badly_ to tell him that she wants to stay with him, too. She would never be alone again. _H_ _e_ would never be alone. “I…” She feels him rest his chin on the top of her head and she can only imagine what’s going through his mind. “I…I…” Why can't she say anything to him? 

“It won’t happen again. I promise.” She only cries harder because of his misunderstanding, which leads to  _more_ misunderstandings and his arms tighten around her. “I’m so sorry, Makoto. I never wanted to hurt you. I never wanted things to end up like this.” She swears she feels something wet land in her hair.

He’s crying.

So she cries about that, too.

When she exhausts her reservoir for tears, she clutches the front of his shirt until her knuckles turn white. She fails to say what she wants to and says the first thing she can think of to change the subject. “W-we should, um, finish getting ready for school.”

Her voice is hoarse, her head is pounding, and she decides that a distraction is very much needed. Ren releases her, stands from the bed, and gathers the unfinished breakfast. Without a word, he heads for the stairs. Once he disappears from view, Makoto wipes her eyes and makes a promise to herself that this is it. No more. She can’t keep hurting like this. She can’t keep hurting Ren like this. Ghosting him would be unacceptable (and also impossible), but she firmly believes that some distance would help them heal, to come to terms with how they feel, and maybe then they can restart. Correctly. If he would allow her the chance. 

But when she makes her way down the stairs after changing into her uniform, Ren’s eyes never meet hers. He remains silent on their way to school. He says nothing to her when they reach the point where they have to go their separate ways. He offers her no "goodbye" or "see ya later," or even a parting gesture. He doesn’t talk to her at school, offer to walk her to the station afterwards, or ask her to go get some food, or anything. He says nothing to her that night, or the next day, or the one after that.

It is in that moment that she feels like she’s lost him forever.

She can’t have that. She doesn’t want to be alone anymore, and Ren made her feel like she had a place to belong. Even if it is only after giving herself to him, but she always sleeps so well because he’s there. He grounds her when he pulls her into him with his strong arms. He’s that light in the dark that she always finds herself lost in. She doesn’t care what she must to do to keep it, she _needs_ him in her life. So, after three days of silence, she finally summons the courage to ask him if she can stop by. His immediate response has her literally running out the door.

She never stops running until she’s in his arms, where his touch and kisses and _presence_ saves her from drowning in herself.

-.-.-

After a pitiful amount of sleep, Ren stumbles his way down the stairs to beg Sojiro for the strongest cup of coffee he can make.

Hell, he’d take the man’s cigarettes if _that_ would help wake him up.

He manages to evade Sojiro’s questions and worries because he needs to get to school. He needs to appear unfazed. He needs to use the school to meet with his friends and go over more details to put their plan into action. 

As he waits for the train in Shibuya, Morgana slumps down in his bag. It’s a sign someone he knows is coming, but who doesn’t know about his weird habit of hauling a cat around in his schoolbag.

“It’s a pleasure to see you.”

It’s already a cool morning, but the voice turns his blood to ice. Morgana paws at his back, telling him to remain calm and composed. _Inhale, exhale, repeat._ His hands dig deeper into his pockets and it takes every ounce of willpower to keep them there when he greets the traitor.

“Good morning.”

Ren wants to throw up. How the hell did his voice come out so civil and steady? He could very easily end all of his troubles right now by throwing Akechi to the wall and beating the living shit out of him until he would tell him where Makoto was. A sharp stab in his back from Morgana reminds him why that’s not a good idea.

He’ll just have to settle for throwing up at school.

“You look like hell.” Akechi has the _audacity_ to sound concerned. “You get enough sleep last night?”

Remembering that the teen is assuming Ren knows nothing about _how_ Makoto disappeared, he sighs and rubs his eyes. It’s insulting that Akechi would think he _didn’t_ know when he made his threat so fucking obvious. “I…I just…I’m worried about a friend.”

He swears Akechi glows. “Oh?”

Ren swallows the acid rising in his throat. “After we split up in the Metaverse, I haven’t really heard from Makoto.” He rubs his eyes again to keep from glaring daggers at his companion. “So yeah, I didn’t get a lot of sleep.” He takes a deep breath before he meets Akechi’s eyes. “But she’s never missed a day of school, last I checked, so I’m sure she’s fine.”

Ren is beyond grateful for the train that approaches so he can avoid having to read whatever expression Akechi makes to his comment. It’s a tactic to pretend as if Ren didn’t already know the truth. It would hopefully keep Akechi confident and boastful, all traits he wants to use against him. He also hopes that Ren's own apparent confusion will bolster that confidence. Akechi is smart, but if Ren knows anything, it’s that emotions can make the smartest man do the stupidest things.

A hand on his shoulder stops him before he can step onto the train. “I’m sure she was just upset you didn’t tell her you loved her when you had the chance.” He looks down sadly, feigning sympathy. "Keep that in mind for the next girl you fall for."

Had it not been for Morgana literally drawing blood by clawing his back, Ren likely would have missed the train. He sure as hell didn’t miss the expression on Akechi’s face before he had walked away.  _Keep it together. He’s trying to mess with you. She’s not dead. She’s not dead._

By some miracle, a seat is open on the train and he all but falls into it. He drops his head to his bag, not even caring that his glasses are digging into his skin, or that he's squishing Morgana. He fights back the tears that threaten to fall from his eyes. 

_I should have told her I loved her a long time ago._

The train ride is uneventful, which only allows him more time to focus on Akechi's words. _"I'm sure she was just upset you didn't tell her you loved her when you had the chance."_ His fingers tighten around the handle of his bag. He can feel Morgana try and console him by rubbing his head against his hands, but the action does little to help. He needs to focus on something else for the time being so those at school don't bother him about his attitude. Morgana at least tells him to take deep breaths, reminds him that Akechi is simply trying to rattle him, and that his friends will help him save Makoto. Thanks to his feline friend, Ren is able to step off the train with a slightly brighter outlook, hoping that school will keep him from slipping back into his depression. 

It does the exact opposite. 

“Niijima-senpai is absent.”

“It’s the end of the world.”

“What do you think happened?”

“I bet that transfer student has something to do with it! They were always talking after school!”

"She probably declined a date with him and he snapped!"

“I think he killed her!”

This time, Ren does throw up. But the burning in his throat is nothing compared to the sheer agony in his heart. Akechi’s words from the train station had been echoing around in his mind, then came the rumors from the students as he had made his way to homeroom. Their vocalized thoughts only served to make his own ring louder in his mind.  

She’s dead.

He’s never going to see her again.

He’s never going to be able to tell her he loves her.

He’s never going to hold her again, or see her beautiful smile.

All because he didn’t take Akechi’s hidden threat seriously enough.

He's the reason she's dead. 

He cries long after he empties his stomach. Thankfully, everyone is in class and he can hide in the bathroom until the lunch bell rings. Kawakami is hopefully covering for him, but he will give her some half-assed excuse when he has the heart to think of a half-assed excuse.

_Makoto, I’m so sorry!_

The bell rings and he straightens himself up, washing his face to remove any indication he had been crying. He doesn’t look at his reflection. He already knows what he will find.

Nothing.

He walks out of the bathroom and heads up the stairs to take his lunch break on the roof. He needs fresh air. He also wants to take the time to gather his thoughts and speak to his friends and…well, he really needs them to console him. He’s a wreck. He's hurting. He's extremely unstable, and his previous source of comfort could be _dead_. He pulls his phone from his pocket with shaky fingers and quickly types a message into the group chat. It’s nothing more than a request to meet, but one he hopes they respond to.

They say nothing, which he interprets to mean he is too late and they have lunch break plans already.

Because why not see how much further he can slip into madness and despair?

He throws the door open and nearly jumps out of his skin when he looks up.

There in front of him stands Morgana, Ryuji, Ann, and Haru.

They say nothing to him.

He says nothing to them.

He simply falls to his knees and sobs because they are _there_.

-.-.-

While he enlists the help of the elder Niijima sister, he’s quite surprised to see her sitting at the bar in Leblanc when he returns home from school that day.

She notices his expression. “It’s not unusual for me to come here.”

Ren nods once and moves to sit on a nearby chair. He almost throws his bag over the bar. He had sent Morgana back out to spy on Akechi once school was out, and he failed to realize just how heavy the cat was.

No more fatty tuna for him!

Sae takes a sip from her coffee while Sojiro watches both of them with a puzzled expression from the opposite end of the bar. That’s the look of _why is she here?_ He focuses back on Sae when she says, “Did you hear anything today?”

He wants to choose his words carefully, so not to alarm her, or worse, back himself into a corner. He’s not for sure where her motivation to help is coming from, so he can’t be too eager to spill his guts.

Keeping it vague, he replies with, “People at school noticed she was gone today. Apparently, the end of the world is coming.”

He elicits a small laugh from her. Then, she adds, “The school called for an explanation.” Ren swallows hard. She takes another drink. “I told them I was at work all night and she’s an adult who can deal with the consequences herself.”

He tenses at her response, but he notes the way Sae’s shoulders fall at her comment. “But I went home last night,” she starts quietly. “I went home and for the first time in my life, she wasn’t there to greet me.” Ren’s heart begins to break when her voice cracks. “I just stood in the kitchen, expecting her to come through the door or out from her room and tell me to stop pushing myself so hard, if I wanted dinner, or just someone to talk to.” He looks away when Sae slams her open palm on the bar. “I understand now _exactly_ how she felt all those nights I didn’t come home! And I only noticed when she was _gone!_ ”

He opens his mouth to say something, but he closes it just as fast. He knows the feeling all too well, but the more time they both dwell on their regrets, the more energy and time they will waste on something that will never change.

Sae leans back in her seat, then turns to him. “I don’t care how you know what you know, or why she was taken at all.” The look in her eyes is almost _pleading_. “ _Please_ help me get my little sister back.”

Determination ignites in his heart and he nods to her. “We will save her. There’s no doubt in my mind.” Right now, he believes it. Sae’s state of mind is the spark he needs to find the ability to tell himself everything will work itself out. His friends are helping. Sae is helping. People at school would probably help him if he asked them to.

It gives him the strength to get his gears moving again. She slides him a card with a number on it. “It’s my personal number. Please keep me updated if you find anything.” She pushes herself off the chair. “I’ll do the same for you.”

Just as she’s about to head out, Futaba comes rushing through the door. “Reeeeeen! I might have found some — _oh_.” She glances from Ren to Sae, then back to him, clearly startled to see her in Leblanc. “Uh…”

Ren stands. “It’s okay, Futaba. She knows.” Futaba’s eyes grow wide and her mouth opens in a wordless _ooh._ He takes a step towards her. “What did you find out?”

She hesitates, then speaks after Ren nods his head. “Well, I did some… _things_ on my computer and I stumbled across a name.” She shifts her weight around on her feet. “Then, I _may_ have done some other things on a hunch.”

“Futaba, now’s not the time to be cryptic.”

Sae clears the air. “I’ll step outside so you can talk. If you need me to do anything with the information, let me know.”

Once she’s out of earshot, Futaba rushes up to him and lowers her voice. “Masayoshi Shido.”

The name sets off several alarms in his mind. He just doesn’t quite know why. Wasn't he just a politician? “What about him?”

“Well, a few things.” She cups a hand over her mouth. “We know he’s a powerful politician and a lot of people like him. He’s all about ‘The Phantom Thieves are evil!’ and all that noise, which led me to _this!_ ” She holds out her phone, the app to the Metaverse open. “I got a hit! He has a palace!”

While the news is somewhat shocking, he doesn’t know how it deals into their current predicament. “How would this help us?”

Futaba scoffs at him like he insulted her. “You didn’t think I’d figure that out?!”

He needs her to get to the point. “Futaba…”

She nods. “Right. Well, using my skills, I did some research on this guy. You know I can get into some classified stuff, and I wanted all the juicy tidbits I could find on him. And shady big-wigs have the best skeletons in their closet and money and power to make sure the door is locked tight. It took some time, but I hit gold: he has a kid.” A pause. He throws his hands up to tell her to continue. She grins madly. “Guess who’s the kid?”

“I don’t have time for this. Just tell me!”

She winks and her eyes sparkle. “Goro Akechi.”

_That_ sends him reeling.

“So, I did some more investigating and through all the files I looked into, Shido is a very powerful person. And if he has a palace, he’s a _bad_ powerful person with an endless supply of corrupted people working for him.” Futaba stops to adjust her glasses. “And I believe Akechi wants to kill him.”

“Why do you say that?” comes Ren’s response.

“Well…” she trails off, but speaks before he asks her to continue. “I found out that Akechi lost his mom to a suicide. And the incident was never really brought to light.” She shuffles around on her feet, unable to meet his eyes. “Curious, I kept looking and I guess she never married the man. And I might be grasping straws by saying this, but I think the reason she killed herself was because Shido never wanted to be with her.” She looks up. “Then, instead of being a dad, Akechi was forced to go through foster homes and stuff and never really had a home. Which could very well mean he is out for blood under the ruse he is a good guy following daddy’s orders. Assuming he is the man with the black mask, of course.”

Ren feels something akin to sympathy for the teenage prodigy. At the same time, he believes this is the break he has been hoping for, as _horrible_ as that sounds. Although, Ren tells himself he's allowed to feel this way. He never thought a desire for revenge against his father would have been the emotion that could force him to make a mistake. Then again, he remembers something Akechi had said before they had infiltrated Sae’s palace.

_“Why are you willing to do all this, Akechi-kun?” Haru asks. “Why do you seek justice?”_

_Akechi’s demeanor goes from crafty and proud to dark and sinister. “Because of sickening human beings.” Ren feels as if he’s referring to him, but there’s something different about his tone. He’s retreating into himself, and Ren believes his contempt for this mysterious group of people (or person) does not include him. To Akechi, this is a special vendetta and Ren just happens to be going along for the ride._

_Akechi only speaks because he knows the group is surprised by his response. “Yes. My contempt for such people drives my sense of justice. It isn’t some grand reason like society’s sake or some lofty ideal. It’s simply an absurd grudge.” His voice fades, but Ren can hear the hatred dripping in his tone. “And extremely personal.”_

His mind is firing on all cylinders. If by chance Akechi had been referring to someone else in his life, perhaps his father, then this could be something he could run with. Even if he feels bad doing it. Once Makoto is safely back, he could sit down with Akechi and talk to him about it. But not a moment sooner.

He nearly hugs Futaba for the information, but settles for a clap on the back as he steps outside of the establishment. Before Sae can even ask him what he’s learned, he blurts out, “Masayoshi Shido. I need you to strike a conversation with Akechi about him. Pay attention to his reaction. Let me know how he reacts in detail.”

Her eyes narrow in confusion. “May I ask why?”

“I need to know Akechi’s relationship with him on a personal level.”

He expects her to question him further, but he’s mildly surprised when she grins at him. “I guess I _do_ owe him sushi.”

(Somewhere in his imagination, Morgana perks up.)

“Don’t come off too hasty. I know we’re running out of time, but any urgency he detects could-,”

She holds up her hands and effectively shuts him up. “I trust you. Now you need to trust me.” She finds her phone and her fingers go to work. “No one wants my sister back as much as I do, no matter how you feel about her.”

He says nothing while she puts her phone to her ear and heads toward the station. He walks back inside and prays to any entity who will listen to let everything work out for the best. He takes the seat next to Futaba and again ignores Sojiro’s confused look.

“I need to talk to you and Yusuke. I spoke to the others at school today.” He pulls his phone from his pocket and begins typing a message for Mishima. “Can we use your phone to do that? I don’t want Yusuke to rush over here and draw unwanted attention.”

Futaba offers a thumbs up as she slides through her contacts. "Probably couldn't afford it anyway." Ren chuckles lightly and returns his attention to his text.

_**I’m sorry to bombard you with this request, but I need a name thrown on the website immediately. Masayoshi Shido. Explain he’s been marked a target. Blow it up as much as you possibly can. If you are able, update me on the feedback by the end of the night.** _

“Pick up the phone, Inari!”

Futaba’s shout causes him to drop his phone to the counter. Sojiro frowns at her, and she mutters a quiet, “It’s his fault,” as a form of apology.

She reaches him on the second attempt. “Hello?”

“This is important, Inari! You should pick up right away!”

His phone vibrates, so he allows the two of them their moment of bickering. **_Got it! I’ll do my best!_**

He smiles and types **_thank you_ **before putting his phone down and interrupting the heated debate going on beside him. “Okay you two, I need you to be serious.”

He hears Yusuke sigh and Futaba smiles innocently at him.

“According to Ryuji and Ann, Mishima’s work on the Phan-Site is doing wonders for starting rumors online. I just asked him to drop a name Futaba recently gave me, so hopefully come morning, rumors will be spreading like wildfire.”

“Do you think the pressure is going to cause Akechi to move fast enough?”

Ren doesn’t want to entertain Yusuke’s hidden implication. “If the Phantom Thieves are still active and carrying on with business, he’s going to feel it.” _He better feel it._ “I’m still operating under the belief he wants to kill me, so I’m sure Makoto is alive.” He takes a second to block out the horrifying scenarios that cause him to stumble. “Tomorrow, we can all meet here and discuss a back-up plan in case things don’t go our way overnight.”

Futaba gives him a questioning look and it forces him to look away. _She’s not dead. She’s not dead._

Yusuke speaks up in the silence. “I’m sure Makoto is thinking of ways to help us as well.”

Damn, Ren has some great friends. A smile forms on his face knowing that Yusuke is right. They might be separated and in completely different circumstances, but she’s not going to stand still without putting up a fight. She never has. It was a trait he slowly began to fall in love with.

“Joining us for today’s topic, Goro Akechi.”

Ren’s eyes narrow to the point the TV fades from his view. Futaba drops her phone and runs up to the TV. The second Akechi’s smiling face addresses the public, she holds her hands up as if she’s going to strangle him.

“Thank you for having me.”

The reporters talk with Akechi about the usual: how is his investigation into the Phantom Thieves going? How is he balancing work and school? How does he keep a smile on his face?

The conversation takes a drastic turn and Ren actually drops the coffee cup in his hand.

“Did you know that the Phantom Thieves have named their next target as Masayoshi Shido?”

There are no words to describe the look on Akechi’s face. Ren may not be there to see it in person, but the camera catches his expression all the same. It’s only for a split second, but it’s the exact thing he needs to see.

The panic. The rage. The _emotion_ that clouds his mind in that brief moment makes Ren feel like he could jump through the roof.

_Look who’s running now…_

“Check.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my notes: Yes, in the world of computer technology, you cannot delete everything, no matter how hard you try. Hence why I think Futaba could actually find out about Akechi and Shido's backstory. I don't think she had any real purpose in the game to dig it up, but here, she does. I hope I'm not the only person who would think like this, because nowadays, you can't hide anything from science!
> 
> This is the part with Sae that I wanted to write. I hope that reasoning came out in her conversation with Ren. She still doesn't understand Ren's methodology, but the realization of her sister being missing is what ultimately convinces her to help. 
> 
> The more I proofread the chapters I have done, the more I'm starting to worry things aren't coming together the way I wanted. I've changed a lot of stuff from this chapter and the next and I still can't get that feeling to go away. But, I guess we will see.
> 
> Thank you for reading and all the kind words! I hope to keep living up to all your expectations!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was rewritten maybe ten times before I decided I liked it. It's a little different, but it's a perfect set up for the next chapter. 
> 
> Warnings: there might be some slight OOC-ness in the first section. Also, underage drinking happens, but I personally support the idea in the presence of a trustworthy and responsible adult.
> 
> Enjoy!

Looking back on it, Makoto should have asked to remain behind.

They had been informed that they would have to pass through a dimly lit maze for their first high risk reward, and she had been stupid to believe the front desk clerk. Because everything else had been rigged up until now, so wandering around in total darkness was something she should have known was going to happen. 

For the most part, she clings to the walls and makes sure someone is behind her and in front of her at all times. She cannot get lost in this maze. She knows if she does, she will freak out, then pass out, and embarrass herself in front of her team, Crow, and Joker.

She feels something move against her leg. Her hand does not travel fast enough to cover her mouth and a high-pitched scream fills the corridor. However, the next second, someone's hand lands over her lips, likely an involuntary reaction to her shriek. It's slightly painful, almost as if they had misjudged the distance, but it effectively silences her. 

"What are you doing?"

It's Joker, and he sounds more angry than startled, which is not something she expects from him. It worries her, but currently her mind is still reeling in fear. He removes his hand once her breathing is less erratic, but his tone is unchanging.

"The enemies are going to hear you."

She can't see his face, but she can picture it. She lowers her head out of shame, unable to find anything else to say besides, "I'm sorry." She gets no response in return. She cradles one arm in her opposite hand and chastises herself for letting him see this side of her again. She wishes she could tell him it won't happen again, but it would probably be a lie. However, the darkness does mask her embarrassment, so for the moment, she can find comfort in that. Especially when she hears a muffled "sorry" from Mona, who she assumes had been the one to startle her. 

She jumps (but her hands move faster this time to block her voice) when a hand finds her shoulder. She feels sick to her stomach when it's Crow's voice that speaks to her. "It's quite alright, Queen. I promise I won't let anything harm you." The churning worsens as his hand leaves her shoulder and grabs her hand. "I'm actually quite terrified of the dark myself. Your scream just happened to be louder than mine."

His admission surprises her, but she is still wary of his intentions. However, she needs all the help she can get right now to make it out of this dungeon without allowing her fear to bring harm to herself or her friends. She offers a quiet thank you, but pulls her hand out of his. If he takes offense, he never says.

Thanks to Joker's abilities, they are able to exit the maze, enter the light, and win the round. The team, feeling pumped from the adrenaline, all wish to continue to the next area. She feels more of her shame rising to her cheeks when Joker turns to her with an unknown look in his eyes. 

She doesn't hold his gaze for long. But what can she say? Tell him, in front of everyone else, that she needs a break? Her, second in command, is too frazzled and terrified to continue? She believes that most of them would think nothing less of her for asking to sit out, but the boy still staring at her has the only opinion she cares about. She cannot let him down. She must be stronger than this. If she fails to be anything less than that ideal image he has of her, he may want nothing to do with her anymore. She's already experienced a small dose of that and would like for it not to happen again. So, she exhales her worries and breaths in the determination to look back up at him.

But before she can get a word in, Joker stops her. "Let's call it a night."

Her eyes grow wide in shock, but when she turns to the rest of the group, they all seem to be okay with his decision. She stutters out, "A-are you sure?" just to clarify, but he only nods once in return. Everyone else stretches and exchanges small talk before making their way out of the palace and into the real world. 

As they all say their goodbyes and depart, Akechi approaches her. "I do hope you are feeling better now." 

She's extremely nervous about Akechi's advance and what it could possibly mean, but she also doesn't want to come off cold and heartless when he had been kind enough to check in on her well-being. "O-oh. Yes, thank you," she replies to keep her anxiety from being known.

"Would you like me to escort you home?"

She never in a million years would have expected to hear that from him. It's a nice gesture, but slightly unwelcoming. Akechi may have had a pseudo sibling relationship with her sister, probably better than the relationship _she_  had with her, but it's...awkward to even be standing beside him, let alone having him walk her home. Plus, Ren had good reasoning to tell the team to be wary around him, so she really doesn’t want to be alone with him.       

"Actually, I need to speak to her." Ren quickly comes to stand between the two of them. For a second, she finds him extremely rude for butting into her conversation, but she is also relieved at the same time. However, his shoulders are set in a specific manner and his tone had been cut and dry. It makes her think that he's claiming her as his property. It unnerves her almost as much as Akechi's request. Is she not even a _human_  to him anymore?

Akechi simply smiles at Ren. "But of course. I do hope both of you manage to get some sleep tonight." He flashes his smile her way, then bows to them and walks in a different direction. 

She has no time to ask Ren what he is thinking as he grabs her hand and pulls her along with him. She fears he's going to talk to her about her outburst back in the palace. She can already feel the sting coming in behind her eyes. Isn't he afraid of something, or is he really just...perfect?

Did she even have a chance with someone who is so...him? Who has his emotions in perfect balance and can do no wrong? Who can face any danger head on, has no fear of anything, who can literally do anything and...

"Hey, are you okay?"

She tenses as she waits in line for the train, unsure of how she even arrives here. Had she been so deep in thought that she completely lost touch with the world around her? 

As she takes a moment to adjust to her surroundings, she hears Ren sigh heavily beside her. "Can I ask you something?"

There's an edge to his voice that causes her to waiver, then she nods. Her heart is hammering in her chest and she has no idea why. However, when Ren drops his eyes to the ground and runs a hand over his face, the hammering becomes too painful and she turns away from him. He’s going to ask about her behavior in the palace and then tell her he never wants to speak to her again because he wants a girl who is strong and not afraid of the dark…

"Do you...are you..." He grumbles in frustration. "Do you like Akechi?"

While his question causes her to stumble briefly, she almost laughs at his intrigue. But his voice leaves no room for humor. Noticing this, she grows angry. How can he say that to her, after everything they had already been through? What is driving his concern? The fact that they were only sleeping together and not actually dating...? But...did he _want_  to be in a relationship with her, or would he just bury his shame in asking under apologies and ask her to forgive him like he always does? Because he had perfected that already. But, why else would he seem so jealous? And _why_  is he jealous? Because Akechi had offered some sort of comfort that Ren had failed to give her when she had needed it? Then, shouldn't he just apologize for that?

She wants to antagonize him further, but she’s losing the heart to continue. "No. I don't even know where you got that idea."

He exhales too heavily, but her heart warms a degree when his frown turns into a goofy grin. "Good." He throws an arm around her shoulder and she collides into his chest. She smiles into him, happy to be in his arms without needing a bed underneath them. They wait for the train in silence, his arm around her, her head to his chest, and everything is wonderful. 

Just as quickly as it had happened, he shatters the illusion. "Because you're mine."

When she falls onto her bed after she returns home, she grabs her pillow, throws her face into it, and sobs. All this time she had been hoping for the best, that maybe one day, one of them would just come out and say they liked the other, or that they were in love. She had wanted to believe that his actions were his way of showing her that he really did like her, or love her, or hell, at least _respected_ her. But his tone at the station had brought the crushing realization to the forefront of her mind.

He would never feel anything for her. He would only see her as an object to use whenever he needed a fix.

She had been stupid to fall for him. She had been stupid to let it continue. She _still is_ stupid for not wanting it to end.

After an arduous several hours at school the next day, she blows off some steam by hitting the gym. It helps her calm down, but it does little to stop her mind from racing. She heads home and her thoughts continue to pull at her while she burns her skin under the hot water of her shower. Then, she sits on her bed, staring at the wall in front of her.

It’s getting late. Sae had told her she wouldn’t be returning home at all that night, so she was going to be alone, again. Most of those nights, Ren would text her and ask her to come over, but seeing that she was just a tool for him, maybe she could use him for her benefit as well. She wants to cry at the thought. He had been her best friend, and now…now they only spent time together for personal gain? Well, whatever. She’s used to being treated in such a manner.

Before her mind can continue, she decides that tonight, _she_ won’t be alone. _She_ won’t have to wake up from nightmares of being abandoned in the darkness with no one beside her. _She_ will initiate the process. She yanks her jacket off the chair in her room, grabs her phone, then slams the apartment door shut behind her. She heads out into the brisk November evening as her fingers type a single statement.  

 **_I'm coming over._ **

-.-.-

When she approaches Goro Akechi outside of the courthouse, Sae wants to throw her hands around his neck and kill him. She knows it won’t accomplish bringing Makoto back, and it will likely make finding her that much harder. So for once, she’s going to do all she can to prove to her sister, wherever she is, that she  _loves_  her, even if that means sparing this bastard’s life. For now.

Akechi glances up at her, then smiles his usual smile. Whether he knows of her knowledge of what’s going on is beyond her, but he appears to be acting very normal. It’s her  _job_  to know when people are lying, and Akechi is no exception. Any nervous tick, any hesitation, shift of the eyes, she’ll see.

Which is exactly what she plans on exposing when she asks him to accompany her.

“It’s about time you treat me to that sushi.”

Sae struggles to stay in character as she walks side by side with the teenage prodigy. She normally wouldn’t engage in small talk, so it’s not hard to ignore his meager attempts at conversation. What bothers her the most is how she feels completely  _useless_. She wants to be out looking for her little sister, but here she is, betraying that trust by associating with the one who took her away.

_I promise, I’ll save you, Makoto._

She doesn’t know why she believes Ren as much as she does. It was something about the way he spoke to her that night. Again, she makes a living out of reading people, so when he had told her he loved her sister, it knocked the wind out of her. She had wanted to throw him up against the wall and strangle him for even  _saying_  that, but his eyes…there was something in his eyes that spoke loudly. So loudly in fact that it drowned out any other sound in the room. But, Makoto had never mentioned the boy before, so how could something have been going on without her knowledge?

Right. She was never home or available so Makoto could talk to her. But, would she have told her if she had been? The question leaves a bitter taste in her mouth. Did she even  _know_ Makoto anymore?

Sae comes to a stop when they reach their destination. Akechi sighs next to her, disappointment written all over his face. “Really, Sae-san?  _Kaiten_  sushi?”

She holds the door open for him. “Suck it up.”

He rolls his eyes, offering a weak smile and a nod, then steps into the restaurant. She follows him to a nearby booth and he eyes the contents of the conveyor belt. While he’s momentarily distracted, Sae begins to formulate her plan of attack. Gods above help Ren if that boy gave her falsified information and this backfires in her face.

She’ll see to it that his grave is right next to Akechi’s.

“You seem tense, Akechi-kun.”

The first move is always the hardest. “Oh?” He smiles. “You’re worried about my well-being, Sae-san? I’m touched.”

She crosses her arms over her chest and leans back in the booth as he grabs a plate off the line. “If you’re not in the best of shape, you’re of no use to me.”

The boy chokes on his roll, laughing quietly after he manages to swallow it. “And you need my help with something?”

She leans forward, her chin resting on her fingers. She holds his gaze and says pointblank, “The pressure from the top is unbearable and I need to catch the Phantom Thieves  _now_. Especially since they’ve named a prominent figure like Shido-san as their next target.”

She has to hide her growing smile as she catches a great deal of incriminating ticks. His face crunches up for a split second, but she notices. His eyes narrow a fraction of an inch, but she notices that, too. He hesitates. He hides his hands under the table and out of her sight. He swallows too forcefully. This all happens quickly, so she highly doubts he realizes she catches anything at all.

But she does, which makes the rest of her mission that much easier.

“Well, I’m afraid I won’t be of much help.”

She cocks an eyebrow at this. “And why’s that? You still believe in their sense of justice?”

He sighs heavily and turns to the conveyor once more. “I have…other things to worry about.”

Her palms slap the table and he quickly looks over at her, lips parting in shock. “This isn’t a game anymore, Akechi!” She leaves off the  _kun_  to add more fuel to the fire. “They  _killed_  someone! Shido-san could be next!”

She gets a surprise reaction when Akechi shrugs his shoulders and grabs another plate. “They aren’t murderers, Sae-san. They won’t kill him because they  _didn’t_  kill Okumura-san.”

“Where’s your proof?”

He throws another piece of sushi in his mouth before answering. “Where’s  _your_  proof?”

Sensing a possible stalemate, she changes her tactics and watches him closely for a reaction. “It’s like you don’t even care that a man of Shido-san’s caliber is being targeted.”

“Oh, I care.” He sounds slightly defensive, and honestly, it takes Sae off balance. He picks another plate. “I also know that they care about human life and would never do anything so  _rash_.”

There’s an underlying message that Sae picks up on immediately, regardless of if it’s Akechi’s true intention. It takes every ounce of strength and intelligence to keep her in her seat. She’s suddenly grateful to be surrounded by other people. Had he said this to her on the streets, she would have buried his body ten feet under without hesitation.

She throws herself into the seatback and the motion helps her regain her focus. “It appears we are going to agree to disagree about this.”

Across from her, Akechi frowns and shrugs his shoulders. “I guess so.”

They are both quiet for a moment, then Sae tries a new approach. “So, how are you dealing with the pressure?”

Akechi lowers his plate to the table. “It is indeed difficult to deal with.” Sae almost pities him. “Several news shows and reporters believe I’m not doing enough to apprehend the Phantom Thieves. I’ve even received a few threats because of my supposed inadequacy in dealing with them.” He laughs to himself. “I’m sure it will only get worse once I land myself in the business, yes?”

She knows  _exactly_  how he feels. However, she refuses to feel sympathy for him, especially if he actually kidnapped her sister.

“But don’t worry. I’m going to be fine.” He leans in to whisper, “I found an old gun after the interview went on the air.” Sae nearly gapes at him. “I keep it in my briefcase at all times, so you don’t have to worry about me, Sae-san.”

She reaches for her phone in her pocket the second he returns his attention to his dinner. She pulls up the most recent message and quickly types  ** _he has a gun. He’s going to kill her._**  While she’s never been one to let emotions get the better of her, this isn’t her  _job_. This is her  _sister_.

Ren’s response is immediate.  ** _Did you see it?_**

 _It doesn’t matter if I saw it, he’s going to kill her!_  She puts an actual reply on hold to say something to Akechi. Too much silence would lead to suspicion. “I’m assuming you acquired this illegally?” She knows the law. One cannot walk into a gun shop and walk out with a pistol. There’s a waiting period and an extensive process before a gun is placed in someone’s hands. The fact he comes out and tells her he found one overnight worries her.

Either he has too many friends in high places, he stole it, or he already had one in his possession. Worse, he may be lying to throw her off balance. Does he suspect that she’s working against him?

Akechi senses her intrigue and holds his hands up. “You should know me better than that, Sae-san.” An innocent smile comes to his face. “I don’t intend on using it. It’s there for my  _protection_ , and only that. If you must know, it had been passed down by my-,” He pauses, lowers his eyes to his dress shirt pocket, then pulls out his phone. Sae catches something similar to a malicious thrill in his eyes as he excuses himself from the table.

She wonders if the caller is Ren, but has little time to dwell on it as her phone vibrates in her hand.  ** _I’ll distract him. Send me a picture of it ASAP._**

She watches Akechi exit the building and realizes that he leaves his briefcase on his seat. She worries about repercussions (and about what she’s going to find in it other than a loaded gun), but she clears her head and reaches for it under the table. She’s surprised that there is no lock on the case, but she pops it open and the gun is the first thing she finds. She recoils, glances toward the door to make sure he’s still preoccupied, then positions it so she can take the requested picture without actually having to touch it. She feels like a criminal, but if it helps retrieve her sister, she would do it.

She returns the briefcase to its original spot on the seat and stares at her phone. What did Ren plan on doing with the information that she couldn’t have done personally? She wants to trust him, but she knows very little about him. The fact she doesn’t have a clue as to what he’s thinking unnerves her to no end.

But it’s far too late for her to turn back or question him now. But if he fails to be of any use to her and her sister, she’ll kill him. No questions asked.

Akechi returns several minutes later with a grin on his face that drops the temperature in the room by ten degrees. “Well, I do hate to pass up more delicious food and great company, but I should be heading out.”

She says nothing, afraid that her voice will be too shaky, and watches the teenager exit the building, fingers wrapped tightly around the handle of his case. Sae has never been one to seek aid from gods or spirits or hell, even other human beings, but right there in the restaurant, she clasps her hands together under the table.

_Whoever is listening, please keep my sister safe._

-.-.-

It’s raining by the time Ren returns home for the evening. He had been extremely busy after school that day. He had met with his friends at their old hangout in Shibuya Station to throw Akechi off their trail in case he was on it at all. Morgana had reported no bizarre or unusual activity in Akechi, which meant no leads on what he had done with Makoto.

Hoping to remedy that, he had made a detour to Shinjuku to speak with Chihiya after the meeting. The only hint she had given him was that she was alone, and somewhere dark. Ren felt sick to his stomach. They were two of Makoto’s biggest fears, and pepper in the fact she had been kidnapped…he didn’t think much more on it. He had thanked her for her time, passed the information on in a group chat, and prayed something turned up soon.

If she was still alive, they needed to find her fast. One night passing without leads was hard enough. But on the eve of a third full day, he knew they were out of time.

However, as he sits down at the bar in Leblanc, he’s hit with an overwhelming fear that his plan is going to fail. He begins to nitpick at every little detail, wondering why he even bothered taking matters into his own hands instead of going directly to the cops. Why haven’t they found anything? Was Akechi even feeling the pressure, or was all of his work a waste of time?

All kinds of variables and questions begin to haunt him. What if this didn’t work out? What if that didn’t work out? What if things didn’t follow his strict planning and it allowed something to slip between the cracks? What if he had forgotten something? The added concern of Akechi owning a gun scared him to death, but Morgana had promised to keep a closer eye on him and attack if it came to it.

It all comes down to the gun. He prays that Sae had been able to follow through on his request. If even the _littlest_ thing went wrong, someone was going to die.

“You mind telling me what the hell’s going on, kid?”

Ren is beyond exhausted, but there’s a hint of aggravation in Sojiro’s voice. He surprises Ren when he slams a cup of coffee down in front of him. The older man says nothing, but the way he looks at Ren forces the words right out of his mouth.

“Makoto’s been kidnapped.”

Sojiro’s jaw drops to the floor. “W-what?!” He rubs his head in frustration. “Have you called the police?!”

“The police aren’t going to do anything.” Sure, he could have walked in and reported Makoto missing, but Akechi had power there, and some of those very people could have been part of the original plan to capture  _him_. He hadn’t been willing to take that chance, so he took it upon himself to see it through. The fact Akechi didn’t know about his outside contacts would hopefully come back and bite him in the ass.

_While the queen is an important player, it’s not the only one._

Sojiro struggles with an appropriate response, but Ren drops his head into his arms resting on the edge of the counter. He’s out of time. He’s out of options. And quite frankly, he’s out of energy.

Sojiro’s next question knocks him off guard. “Why don’t you tell me what’s really bothering you?”

Ren’s head shoots up, a retort ready on his tongue. Did he not think that Ren is worried about her? She could have been dead this entire time. She could be suffering at this very moment! She could be scared and confused and terrified and alone and hurt and…

“You love her. And you think you’re never going to be able to tell her.”

It’s not a question that needs confirmation. It’s a statement. One that brings all of his emotions to the surface and he buries his face back into his arms to avoid looking at his caretaker.

He loves her so much. And it kills him that he cannot be there for her. That he  _wasn’t_ there for her. He knew that he would regret not being able to tell Makoto he loved her before he left her in Sae’s palace, but he assumed it would be that much more of a reason to keep pushing and fighting through his interrogation. But he had been so wrapped up with himself. He was  _always_  so wrapped up in himself! And now he faces the very real possibility of never seeing her again.

“Enough of the damn waterworks, Ren!” Sojiro’s voice is loud and sharp. Ren stops crying instantly, but does not look up. “What the hell is your moping and tears going to do for her?  _Nothing_. Get your ass up to bed and get some sleep. Because she needs  _you_ , not your damn regrets!”

He’s scared to sit up, but he feels compelled to do so. He’s also right. He needs to keep a clear head, because his cunning and wit is what is keeping him one step ahead of Akechi at the moment. If he loses that advantage, it’s over.

But _saying_ it doesn’t make it any easier for him to do. “I’m so scared.”

Sojiro’s expression softens and he leans up against the wall. “Easier said than done, eh?”

“We’ve had a strained relationship for so long, and I always told myself that one day, I would tell her how I really feel. And now, I can’t sleep at night because I’m terrified I’ll never get to tell her how much I love her—  _have_  loved her — and it hurts.” A tear rolls down his face. “It hurts so much.”

Sojiro takes the coffee cup out of Ren’s hands when he picks it up. “You need to get your sleep.”

He laughs to hide his sniffling. “I’m not going to be able to sleep.”

The older man stares at him for a moment, then walks back into the kitchen. He emerges a second later with two shot glasses and a bottle of sake. Ignoring Ren’s protests, Sojiro slides him a filled glass and lifts his own.

“Don’t worry. The best cure for a hangover is fluids, curry, and coffee.” Ren wraps his fingers around his drink. “And I have experience with all of the above.”

He’s pretty sure he needs sleep  _and_  a level head, and that alcohol will likely only provide one of those. Sojiro senses his hesitation and pours another drink for himself after finishing the one in his hand. “Listen, kid. I need you to trust me. It sure as hell won’t make the feelings get any better, but it will knock you out if you let it.” He smiles at Ren. “I promise that if you’re under the weather tomorrow, I can pull you out of it in five minutes.”

Sojiro holds his glass up. Ren looks down at his own before he slowly lifts it up and the glass  _clinks_  with the other. He follows Sojiro’s lead and throws the liquor down his throat. It burns like hell, and tastes like hell, but it’s enough to pull his focus away from topics he doesn’t want to focus on.

“Next time,” Sojiro laughs as he pours another round. “Take it slowly.”

That night, Sojiro leads him back to his house. Futaba sets up a mini-camp in their living room, and the three of them pass out once Ren and Sojiro polish off a bottle of sake.

The alcohol numbs his brain enough to allow him to sleep, but it’s the company he is surround by that gives him the best sleep he’s had all week.

-.-.-

“…I understand.”

Goro Akechi lowers his burner phone from his ear. He’s tired of the calls from Shido’s associates, cursing him for not putting a stop to Ren and his gang like he was supposed to. He’s sick of the press hounding him with every turn he makes walking in public. People he didn’t even know were approaching him and asking him what he had planned to do about the Phantom Thieves.

One person even had the balls to tell him they had simply outsmarted him.

He stands from his chair. He had returned home early that night to catch up on some school work because he still had to maintain appearances. Plus, it had provided a much-needed break from the political drama surrounding Shido and the threat from the Phantom Thieves. Until he had received the phone call.

He had no idea how they had discovered Shido’s palace in the first place. He knows it isn’t a lucky guess. The timing is far too perfect, too calculated. With Ren in a fair amount of distress and Makoto out of the picture, he had been extremely shocked when the reporters had asked him about Shido being a target during the live interview.

Maybe he had underestimated Ren.

Maybe he had underestimated his friends.

And because of that, they had threatened to take away his one and only reason for living and breathing.

They will  _not_  take out Shido. No, if anyone is to spill that man’s blood, it’s him. He will  _not_  let Ren and his stupid friends take that honor away from him! He had worked so hard to get into the good graces of his bastard father, and he would be damned if he was going to let anyone destroy all that hard work.

Especially because they would only want to “change his heart.” Shido isn’t worth the effort. The only thing that man deserves is a bullet though his teeth. Something that Akechi had spent  _years_  waiting to do.

But of course, Ren and company just had to fly into Shido’s radar. Truthfully, had he met Ren under different circumstances, he’d like to think they would have made great friends.

But he knew nothing about his life. About the man who sired him, abandoned him, and all but killed his mother. Ren would never know what it was like to come home from school with your first graded test paper (a perfect score on top of that) and finding your mother with a gunshot wound to the head, the gun still smoking in her hand. He would never know what it was like to bounce around from place to place in search of a steady home, friends, or even a normal life. He would never know the feeling of loneliness, of betrayal, of hatred like he did.

Some people are not worth saving, and Masayoshi Shido would forever remain on the top of that list.

He reaches for his briefcase sitting on his desk. He opens it, wraps his fingers around the handle of the gun, then stuffs it into an interior coat pocket. His apartment door slams shut behind him and the sound echoes in the halls. It’s late, but this is nothing new to him. Shido would often request his services in the middle of the night anyway.

Like he actually gave a rat’s ass about his education and daily life.

His feet pound the pavement with more force. He will have his vengeance. He  _will_  take out his father. He  _will_  take out the man who destroyed his life, even if that means taking drastic measures to ensure he’s the one to do so.

He reaches his destination, unlocks the door, and steps into the darkness. He knows his path is clear, and he counts his steps until he’s right where he wants to be. He takes a few minutes to allow his eyes to adjust to the darkness of the room, then reaches for the gun in his coat.

“I think it’s about time I put an end to this,” he says as the barrel of the gun finds its mark. He smirks when a coughing fit reaches his ears. He then retracts the gun and pulls out his burner phone. His fingers dance over the keys as he dials a number. He almost falls into a fit of laughter as he waits for the person to pick up. It’s quite late, but he has a feeling that he’ll pick up immediately. He always does.

His voice is scratchy, probably from waking up abruptly. “Hello?”

“Good evening.” He presses his shoulder into his phone to keep it in place while he thrusts the gun back into his victim’s head. “I hope I didn’t wake you.”

There are voices on the other end. Perfect. The more the merrier. “It’s fine. What did you need?”

A sharp tug of hair is not only an outlet for his anger (he sounds far too composed right now), but it draws out a cry of pain loud enough to pass through the phone line to reach his ears. “Oh, I think someone wants to say hello to you.”

He turns on the speakerphone and lowers the device to his waist. He presses the gun deeper into flesh and he can just envision the look of terror on the boy’s face. “Now’s your chance to say something, because I’m losing my patience.”

The line is silent, then he hears Ren’s frantic voice.

“M…Makoto?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes: I can't tell you how many times I changed the first section around. It made me have to make some heavy edits in the future chapters so I could make everything tie itself together, and it was not fun or easy. Now that it's pretty much done, I like it. So I hope you guys enjoy how this plays out.
> 
> This is my first taste writing Akechi, so I really hope I've done an okay job. He's so full of drama and anger and he's my spirit character. On the subject of Akechi, I also wrote the section with Sae with the idea that they have a decent relationship with each other. I honestly believe Akechi looks up to Sae as some sort of sister or mother figure because he's never really had one (to my knowledge). It could just be me, but it's why I had him honest with Sae during their talk. 
> 
> PS: Why do Japanese teenagers dislike kaiten sushi? I mean, I love picking my plates off conveyor belts rather than being served by a human. It's sooooo fun! Maybe that's because I'm still a child at heart? 
> 
> Thanks again for reading and all the amazing words. You guys truly give me the inspiration when all hope is lost on my poor soul!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...I meant to post this a while ago, but thanks to the trio of Persona dance games now in my possession, I have a new hobby. Because who can write drama when Akihiko and Nanako dance and it just makes me AWWWW like a motherfucker?! (But seriously...)
> 
> This is the longest chapter and my favorite. Through the many re-writes and additions, it's right where I want it. Hopefully I don't go too overboard with certain characters here, but...I like my drama to be a little more intense at times. 
> 
> Side note: does anyone else have really weird dreams after a nice night of drinking? 
> 
> Enjoy!

Ren’s phone slips out of his hand and the screen cracks as it hits the floor.

The crash echoes loudly in the room, but it surprisingly does not wake Morgana, who sleeps at the foot of his bed. Ren stands frozen in horror for several minutes. Several minutes that, in retrospect, should have been used to create some plan to get his roommate out for the evening. By the time he comes to his senses, he realizes he has very little time to come up with an elaborate excuse to be alone. Morgana would see right through anything he would say now.

_Fuck!_

He knows he has no other option than to try. He throws himself to the bed beside where the cat sleeps, which startles him awake. He wastes no time. “I need you to go out tonight. I’ll let you in come morning. Don’t ask me why. I’ll tell you later.”

Morgana, after catching his breath, appears offended. “Why?”

Ren makes a move to grab him by the middle, but one claw from Morgana stops him. “I told you not to ask me why! Just go!”

A knock on the front door causes Morgana’s eyes to go wide and Ren’s heart to plummet into his stomach. The cat’s eyes widen further when he curses loudly as Ren throws himself off the bed.

“Just…stay here, okay?”

Morgana looks at him in confusion, but he at least falls back on his haunches as Ren slowly makes his way to the stairs. Why? Why is this happening? Why the hell did she tell him she was coming over without giving him a heads up? Didn’t she know that Morgana would be around?

He sighs as he makes his way down the stairs. Maybe he is getting too ahead of himself. Maybe she is here just to talk. Maybe she has a craving for his cooking. Maybe she wants to wish him a goodnight in person? Maybe she needs a hug? The more and more he talks to himself, the more and more he realizes what she’s here for…

He opens the door and attempts a smile. To his complete surprise, he never gets one word in before Makoto throws her arms around him and kisses him senseless. He places a hand on a nearby barstool to keep from falling over, but once he rights himself, he responds with fervor. His hands move to the back of her head, pulling her as close to him as he can get her. He tugs on her hair to give him the access he needs to deepen the kiss. He feels her hands come around from behind his neck to his chest. She quickly moves her fingers to the bottom of his shirt and he hisses when her hands reach under the fabric and come in contact with his skin. She runs her hands up his sides and she breaks the kiss while raking her fingernails over his chest.

“Can we finish this upstairs?”

She kisses him again, but the pause is all the time he needs to come to his senses. He leans back, grabbing her shoulders to push her away from him gently. He finds it extremely difficult to clear his throat (and his mind) so he can tell her why he’s stopped her.

“Actually,” he coughs to clear his throat again.  _Gods she is beautiful!_ “Tonight’s not a good night.”

Her reaction is immediate and unexpected: she turns and heads for the door.

“W-wait!” He manages to grab her wrist before she can exit. “Stop. I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just…”

“It’s fine.” Her tone is telling him she’s anything _but_ fine. “I didn’t mean to bother you.”

He feels the need to defend himself. He groans in frustration, then drags her back outside. Once the door closes behind him, he turns to her, trying to keep his voice quiet. “You just showed up unannounced!”

Her scowl crushes him. “I was unaware that you already had company for the evening.”

What did _that_ mean? Her implication causes him to stumble for a second, then he shakes his head to clear the thought. “Morgana is here, and I didn’t have enough time to come up with a story to give us our space.”

He watches her face contort for a split second, then she turns away from him. “You haven’t told him?”

Uh-oh. His mind is ready to fire off a comeback, but it dies on his tongue. He’s fairly sure that Morgana has some clue as to what’s going on, but the specifics are likely unknown. But, is she upset with him because he hasn’t told Morgana, or anyone else, that they are sleeping together? Is that something she wants everyone to know? He really doesn’t know where exactly they stand with each other at the moment, so he wants their relationship to remain a secret until they can figure that out.

But she _has_ kind of put him on the spot. It’s not like _he_ shows up at her place uninvited and expects her to open her arms and allow him in with her sister in the apartment with them.

He also isn’t stupid enough to try that. He likes living.

So, he decides to be truthful. “Well, no. I haven’t. I didn’t think you’d want me to tell everyone that we were just…” He stops, unable to complete the sentence, but the look in her eyes tells him she understands what he is saying. He curses under his breath, then leans back against the building. “It’s not like I’m not happy to see you or anything.” He hopes his admission helps kill the tension around him. “It’s just…unexpected.”

She says nothing to him and he worries it’s too late for him to try and backpedal now. He sighs when she remains silent. It’s late. He’s already killed the mood. He needs to get her home. “I’ll walk you back to the station.”

It’s what finally elicits a response from her. “No.”

…It’s just not one he wants to deal with right now. “Makoto, it’s late, and I don’t think tonight-,”

She turns on him in a fury. “I never question  _you_  when  _you_  ask me to come over! So just because  _you’re_  not the one upset,  _you_  get to decide how the night goes?! You’re not the only who hurts, who has problems in life, who _wants_ things, but I’ve been there to help you through them without questioning your reasoning!” She pauses only to regain her breath. “I…I guess I expected the same in return.”

His mouth is open and his eyes are wide. Makoto has _never_ been this angry with him before. However, he realizes that she does have a valid point. Any time he had asked her over, she shows up. She never questions him or tries to stop him. Not that he _wants_ to deny her anything, but…this is highly uncharacteristic of her. She’s not really the impulsive type in situations like this, which is why he had been so shocked when he had received her message a few minutes ago.

She makes a move to leave when he’s quiet for too long, but his hands push her back into the wall. “Wait.” He’s hurting and his mind is spinning too fast for him to gather his thoughts, but he needs her to stay. Maybe then he can put what he’s feeling into words to calm her down. “Wait here. I’ll get Morgana to leave us alone, okay?”

Her eyes narrow at him and he’s sure she’s going to kill him. “If it’s too much trouble, I could go stay with someone else.”

Her words stab his already bleeding heart, but he bites his tongue to focus on a different sort of pain. “Please.” Gods, he sounds pathetic. “Just wait.”

When she crosses her arms over her chest, he assumes he’s in the clear and rushes back into the shop and up the stairs. Morgana is still sitting on his bed and he prays that the cat will not question him. He really doesn’t have the energy for a second argument.

“Will you please give me the night alone? No questions. I really will tell you later what’s going on. I just…I can’t tonight.”

There’s pain in Morgana’s eyes, but if it’s from Ren’s hushed and pleading tone or from him kicking him out for the night, he doesn’t know. Regardless, the cat sighs, defeated, then hops to the floor. He never lifts his eyes back up at Ren until he reaches the edge of the stairway.

“You don’t have to hide anything from me, Ren.” Morgana looks away. “I thought I was your friend.”

Wonderful. _This_ had been how he hoped to spend his evening. He almost punches the wall next to him as he watches Morgana fade from view. Not only has he upset Makoto, but now he’s upset Morgana. The combination sends him into a whirlwind of anger and pain and he’s half tempted to tell Makoto to go home. But he swallows the lump in his throat and storms back out of the café to find her right where he had left her. There’s a new look on her face, almost as if she’s regretting showing up at all and debating whether or not to bail.

He never gives her the opportunity to walk away. He grabs her wrist and not so gently pulls her from where she stands. “Let’s go.”

He’s more forceful with her than he intends, but even as he tries to tell himself to calm down, he can’t. He refuses to make eye contact with her. He never kisses her. His hands and fingers move off muscle reflex to remove her clothes, but then they remain on the bed by the side of her head. Hell, he honestly has no idea how he’s able to get hard at all because he’s so damn frustrated.

This is what their friendship has come to. There’s no more passion, no more love, no more longing to do anything but finish the deed and be done with it. It’s animalistic and degrading, and it disgusts him.

It’s the first night where he doesn’t throw his arms around her when he falls to her side. It’s the first time that he doesn’t _want_ to have her in his arms. He faces away from her, staring at the wall and focusing on his breathing. He can literally _feel_ the gap between the two of them, almost as if they are magnets fighting to push the other farther away.

He’s pretty sure they both cry that night, but for different reasons.

But it’s not until he wakes up cold that he realizes what’s happening. It’s over. He knows it. He knows _she_ knows it. It breaks his heart, but he had been an idiot to let it come to this point at all. How long had he been wanting to end this? To take some time to sort out their feelings? Then, maybe he could ask her to start a _real_ relationship once they had done so? Well, now he has the perfect chance to do it.

“Ren?”

He is still facing away from her, so hearing her voice startles him. He does not roll over or make any indication he has heard her because he’s afraid of what’s to come. He really wants to believe he loves her, even if he may not know how that feels. He’s never been in love before, but he’s never _felt_ this way before either. Well, up until last night. And after his performance, he thinks she’s going to hate him and tell him it’s over and she never wants to see him again. And while he may be expecting to hear it, he doesn’t _want_ to hear it.

“I’m sorry.”

The world stops around him, but her next comment takes the breath out of him. “Will you…will you forgive me? Please?”

He slowly turns himself to face her, but her back is to him. He can tell from his position that she’s clutching the sheets like a lifeline. Then, it dawns on him.

Is…is _this_ how _she_ had been feeling all of this time? It’s like the tables have turned and now he’s exposed to her side of the routine. She asks him again, but the lump in his throat prevents any reply. He lifts a hand to offer some sort of answer through physical contact, but…he retracts his hand before it reaches her shoulder.

She never looks back at him as she sits up on the bed. “I really am sorry, Ren. It won’t happen again.”

She gathers her things and walks down the stairs. When she’s out of sight, he drops his face into the mattress and cries.

-.-.-

There’s an annoying ring by his ear. It’s far too early in the morning to deal with anything. Why is his head pounding? Had he been in a fight? What the hell even happened last night? He doesn’t remember. His mind is cloudy. And he was right in the middle of a wonderful dream of oceans and sunsets and a beautiful girl in his arms wearing a white dress, eating curry and shooting guns on a motorcycle …

…It had actually been a pretty weird dream.

The noise doesn’t stop, which prompts him to throw his hands around the sides of his face to find the source of the noise: his phone. He opens his eyes only enough to check the ID, but it’s an unknown number. He finds himself answering it anyway. He feels they owe him an explanation.

“Hello?”

God had that been hard to say. There’s movement around him and Ren fully opens his eyes through the blinding headache. That, in combination with his churning stomach, does little to help him grasp what’s going on or where he is.

“Good evening.”

Everything comes to a standstill. He’s no longer in pain, no longer thinking about his pain or the unknown cause of his sickness. He just lays there, motionless, _terrified_. There’s grumbling to his left and somewhere in front of him. He swears he hears Futaba’s voice, asking him why the hell he woke her up. That would make the next voice Sojiro, who must sense his alarm and the lights come on in the room.

“What’s going on?”

Ren says nothing, _can’t_ say anything, and his expression reflects in Sojiro’s eyes and the older man and Futaba are at his side the next second.

“I hope I didn’t wake you.”

It’s Akechi.

Morgana had indicated to Ren once that Akechi actually carried around his “bugged” phone when he went out and about in public. He saw him use it several times. Which is why Ren had assumed Akechi had it on him several hours before when he had called to serve as a distraction for Sae. He wonders if perhaps Yusuke had been right all along. The unknown caller ID helps amplify that argument, but it sadly means he can’t signal for Futaba to track it. Regardless, it doesn’t matter to him now. All that matters is that Akechi doesn’t want to speak to him this early in the morning (or is it late at night?) without a damn good excuse.

He already knows what this is about.

He needs to keep himself composed, just in case he’s using this as a chance to shake him up without an actual reason.

“It’s fine.” He impresses himself with how undisturbed he sounds. “What did you need?”

There’s a pause, then a cry of pain. Ren can’t quite recognize it, but his blood grows cold because he _knows_.

Akechi’s words are just confirmation. “Oh, I think someone wants to say hello to you.”

His phone slips from his fingers. He didn’t plan on Akechi making this move. He should have. He should have known that all the pressure he _knew_ the boy was feeling, per his talks with his friends and Sae, would have forced him to do something unpredictable and dangerous.

Perhaps he had overestimated Akechi’s ability to keep his head on his shoulders.

And now, Ren is terrified it’s going to cost him dearly.

“Now’s your chance to say something, because I’m losing my patience.”

He doesn’t know if he’s talking to him, or to her. Sojiro and Futaba are still and silent. His throat is burning, his vision blurry as tears threaten to escape his eyes. He reaches for the phone with shaky fingers while the other two wait anxiously around him.

It’s the hardest thing he’s ever had to say. “M…Makoto?”

He hears nothing in response and he nearly passes out holding his breath. Then, his ultimate fear comes true.

“R…Ren…?”

It’s the final push that causes him to break down. He calls out to her again and again, asking her if she’s okay (she sure as hell didn’t _sound_ okay), and he’s just screaming and pleading and losing control of himself. He doesn’t even hear her responses because he’s drowning them out with his own cries.

Sojiro’s hand on his shoulder forcefully pulls him back to reality. His pause, however, is enough time for Akechi to use it against him.

“Looks like two can play at this game, Ren.”

He speaks more calmly, trying to keep the rage and terror out of his voice. “Please. Tell me what you want. She has nothing to do with this.”

Another cry of pain reaches his ears. “She has _everything_ to do with this!”

The sudden anger in Akechi’s voice causes another wave of panic. He’s pushed him too far. He’s a wild animal who’s been backed into a corner with no option but to strike.

“Please, Akechi. Tell me what you want.”

The silence is crushing. Ren pulls the phone away from his ear to check if he’s even still on the line. He hears Akechi grunt, somewhat mockingly, then his voice follows.

“You have until dawn to figure that out. I’m done playing this game with you.”

The phone clicks.

It’s the second loudest sound Ren will ever hear in his life.

He goes still once more, the implication of what’s going to happen all to real. It’s so powerful that he doubles over, scrapes his fingers over the rough tatami-style floor, and screams at the top of his lungs.

“Stop yelling! I need to concentrate!”

He only screams louder.

He had planned everything out. He did all he could to think of every little detail to make sure his plan worked. His friends had helped him; the public had helped him (unknowingly, but still). All for what? _Nothing_. The one thing he had never considered was that Akechi was _human_ and had very real _human emotions._ The very same flaw that caused his own precarious relationship with Makoto. The very same flaw that Akechi himself had wanted to use against _him_ in order to win!

He feels a pull on his shoulders and then his head slams into something. It literally knocks him off balance, but then he realizes that Sojiro has his arms around him. Ren is extremely surprised by the reaction, but the tighter the arms get around his back, the harder it is to keep himself from falling apart again.

So he does. He cries into the man’s chest like he’s a child and he’s lost something precious. No one says anything, but aside from his sobs, there’s another sound his ears pick up in the room.

Clicking.

Very fast clicking.

“Up and ready, Ren! I think I know where Akechi is!”

The shuffling of feet and the loud exclamation pulls him to his senses. Futaba is running around the room, her phone in her hands and likely typing a message to all of his other friends. Sojiro is kind enough to help him to his feet, then he punches him right in the shoulder.

“Pull yourself together!”

It hurts, but it won’t hurt for long. Ren wipes his eyes before he braves looking up at the older man. “Thank you.”

There’s no need for more words as Sojiro smiles at him, then faces his adoptive daughter and yells at her to calm down. Ren turns towards the young girl who comes to a stop in the middle of the hall.

“Where is he?” If they find Akechi, they will find Makoto. Hopefully alive. No, they _will_ find her alive. But he needs to move _now_.

“I think Morgana followed him because he’s sitting still. Probably waiting for us!” She grabs her jacket sitting on the end of the couch. “Let’s go!”

He doesn’t need to be told twice.

-.-.-

Ren almost cries again at the sight of all of his friends. Futaba had in fact messaged them, and _every single one_ of them immediately rushed out to help. It’s an overwhelming feeling, but Ren pushes it down so he can focus. There will be plenty of time for all that later.

“How do we go about this?” Ryuji asks. “Like…if he’s using her as a hostage, that’s pretty…messed up.”

“Can we not negotiate with him?” comes Yusuke’s inquiry. “He has yet to harm her, so perhaps there is something he wants from us in return?”

That’s exactly what Ren thinks, but he also knows Akechi is now unpredictable. But there is one thing he knows for sure, and that’s the fact Akechi wants him _dead_.

Makoto is just a means to an end.

It will be a balance of emotion, intelligence, and strategy, and who can do it the best in the heat of the moment.

The final chess game.

He accepts Akechi’s challenge.

“Morgana, how long has he been here?”

Morgana had already explained that he had followed Akechi because he _never_ made a move at night under his surveillance. And at Ren’s request, he had stayed on his trail the entirety of the day due to the impending pressure. If Akechi had felt it, like Ren had suspected, he was bound to slip up. Ren is just surprised to find himself standing in front of a residential home. “Well, he’s been here for maybe thirty minutes or so? No more than an hour.”

The cat continues with his intel. “There’s a total of two floors; the stairs to the second floor are in the back of the house _._ It’s pretty small, but since it was dark, I couldn’t see too much. It should be simple enough to slip inside, given that I already picked the lock.”

Something bothers Ren about the location. Akechi does not live here. He has an apartment in town. So whose house is this? Is there more than one perpetrator? Had Akechi planned this out from step one? He knows this is no random location, and the fact he doesn’t _know_ its importance nearly drives him crazy. It could be the clue he needs to gain leverage on the other teen.

“I did some more recon while I waited for you guys, and it doesn’t look like anyone else is home. At least,” Morgana pauses. “At least on the first floor. I didn’t want to go upstairs in case someone heard me. That’s likely where he’s waiting.”

“It’s fine,” he replies quickly in an effort to keep the atmosphere from becoming too tense. “That’s actually very helpful.” He rubs the top of the cat’s head. “Thank you.”

“So, uh…” Ann interrupts. “What are we going to do?”

 _Please, please let everything work out._ “I’m going in alone.”

The gasp is one sound, but from five separate people and a cat.

“I know you guys want to help,” he starts before an argument is bound to erupt. “And I can’t tell you how much it means to me that you guys are here this early in the morning to help me. But I _need_ to do this. Akechi wants _me_ to suffer, so _I_ need to be the one to talk to him.”

“Oh, hell no!” Ryuji stands in front of him. “The bastard wants to _kill_ you, man! Morgana said he had a _gun_ with him! Ain’t no way in hell you’re gonna walk in there alone!”

Ryuji’s comment, thankfully quiet, renders everyone else speechless. But Ren knows he needs to move. So he says, “I need you, all of you, to trust me. Please.”

Ryuji’s angry eyes meet his. The boy cares, he knows that, but the original plan had been to let Ren get captured and targeted by Akechi, so really…it’s all coming back around. He lets them know this, but it does little to calm them down.

Finally, Morgana breaks the silence. “I trust you, Ren. I know we all do. But the _second_ we hear anything go wrong, you better believe we’re rushing in.”

Ren takes a deep breath to hide the tears forming in his eyes. He turns to his friends, who all appear to be okay with the plan, and he offers a trademark grin to put them all at ease.

“I wouldn’t expect anything less.”

_It’s time to end this._

When his hand reaches the front door, he stops. He pulls out his phone and types a frantic message to one last person. Then, he slowly opens the door and takes in his surroundings. It’s dark, but the light from the moon illuminates enough of the house to find where he needs to be going. His curiosity allows his eyes to scan the area for any clues as to why he’s here, but he finds nothing that sticks out at him.

Maybe once Makoto is safe, he can look more in depth.

Hell, maybe Akechi plans on telling him himself why he’s hiding out here.

He pauses before the staircase. He doesn’t want to make a sound to alarm anyone in the floor above him, but he also doesn’t want to catch them by surprise, lest they retaliate in fear. So, he operates under the assumption Akechi is waiting for him, then calls out before he takes his first step.

“Akechi, I’m here to talk to you.”

He finds the strength to make his way up the stairs, doing his best to listen for any other sounds or voices. He can’t tell if he is relieved or nervous when he hears nothing. He reaches the top of the staircase and he takes a second to allow his eyes to adjust to the darkness. He pulls out his phone, silences it after reading the responding text message, then holds it up to use as a light source. Akechi already knows he’s here, so he’s not trying to be stealthy.

Again, he tries to find indications of whose house this is to see if something could help him in his negotiations. There are some pictures on the wall, but he recognizes no one. He can’t tell if it’s because of the severity of the situation, but it seems the home has not been vacated in quite some time. There’s an air about him that makes him feel that way. It’s damp, cold, haunting, and it’s actually extremely intimidating.

Then his phone light picks up on a torn yellow ribbon on the ground by one of the doors.

Crime scene tape.

His heart plunges into his stomach.

_Please be okay._

He grabs the handle to the door, takes several deep breaths to brace himself for what he’s going to find, then turns the handle.

“I’m impressed you found me.”

There’s a small lamp at the other end of the room that offers some light, although weak, but it’s enough to capture the scene before him.

Akechi is smiling at him, but that’s not what he sees first. Makoto stands in front of him, crouched over, arms held behind her back, and a gun to the side of her head. He can make out a dark blotch on the other side of her head, but as the light isn’t enough for a full assessment of the damage, he ignores it. If he had to guess from her appearance, she’s likely been locked in the room since her initial capture, left alone to die of abandonment.

It’s the spark he needs to meet Akechi’s eyes. Another day and he likely would have been too late. “Let her go.”

Makoto winces as Akechi pushes the barrel into her head. “I don’t think you’re the one that should be making the demands.”

Ren holds his hands up. “Then tell me what you want.”

He doesn’t want to come off too desperate, but he also worries what Akechi will do if he’s not desperate enough. His comment works in his favor (for now) and the other boy pulls the gun away from Makoto and points it at him.

“You. _You’re_ what I want.”

While his eyes are staring down the barrel of the gun pointed at him, he notices Makoto try and shake herself from Akechi’s hold. Her weak voice only breaks his heart more. “No…pl-please…”

“It’s okay, Makoto.” She looks up at him, tears forming at the corners of her eyes. She’s scared. She’s exhausted. She’s hurt. She’s _everything_ except what Ren wants her to be. “You’re going to be okay.”

Akechi scoffs at him. “Don’t make me sick.”

Ren returns his attention to Akechi. “So kill me. My friends are waiting outside and the _second_ they hear the gunshot, they’re taking you out. How many bullets do you have in the magazine? If I’m not mistaken, you’ve only planned for one death today, not nine.”

Akechi’s eyes flash, and Ren wants to believe it’s a sign of surprise. He lowers the gun, but does not release Makoto.

“Well played, Ren.” He also doesn’t let go of the gun, so Ren keeps the object in his sight while focusing his ears on Akechi. “You know, under different circumstances, we would have made great friends.”

His smile is nauseating. Ren’s words don’t help. “We can still arrange that.”

Akechi laughs. It’s not an evil laugh, but one of true amusement. “Yes, because I’m sure that’s _exactly_ what you want to have happen.”

He plays a new card and carefully watches Akechi’s reaction. “This house. It’s important to you.”

His brown eyes meet his, and for the first time since he’s met him, Akechi seems to retreat into himself. A frown pulls on his lips, and Ren feels a pang of pity for him. It’s not enough to overcome his anger towards him, but if he can find a way to connect with Akechi, maybe they can all get out of this alive.

“I used to live here, back when I was a child.” Akechi’s eyes study the floor by Ren’s feet. “My fath—the man who sired me, left my mother before I was even born. She was forced to raise me on her own while dealing with the backlash of giving birth to me. She always loved me, always said I was the only thing in her life that brought her any joy. She praised me, even when I knew I didn’t deserve it. She worked hard to provide for me. She taught me how to walk, to read, to smile, to laugh.

“But as I got older, I started hearing the rumors. About how my mother was a horrible person, conceiving me out of wedlock and raising some prominent big-wig’s bastard son. That she was a whore and only did so for the money and a small chance of spotlight. It got so bad that I approached her about it. She simply smiled, patted me on the head, and told me that no matter what people said, she would always love me.

“And I believed her, long after I discovered who my father was. She asked me to forgive him, to love him, because one day, he would be a father. One day, he would see the error of his ways and want to be a part of our life. So I did everything I could as a child for both of them to be proud of me. I studied hard so I could get into school. I had been rejected by several institutions, given that my mother was unmarried, but I never faltered. But once I was accepted, I did everything I could, from studying every day and every night, to helping teachers and other students. Just for the hope that one day, my father would return.

“Then,” Akechi’s eyes narrow and it causes Ren’s heartbeat to increase. He knows this look. “One day, I raced home after school to show my mother my exam report. I scored the highest, and the teacher even wrote a comment about how impressed she was of my progress. I was so happy, and I couldn’t _wait_ to show her how our hard work had paid off.

“I was eight. An eight-year-old child who spent so many years working to make his mother proud and make his father find a reason to return to her. This,” he lifts his hands to showcase the room. “This was where I found her.”

Ren’s breath catches in his throat. He says nothing, but his eyes fall from Akechi’s downward face to his fingers tightening around the gun. “ _This_ is where she killed herself. _This_ is where my mother spent the last moments of her life! In some small, dark room, all alone and _miserable!_ ” The gun twitches and Ren takes a step forward. It flies up when he does so and he once again stares down the barrel of the gun.

“You sit there and talk about how your justice helps people, that you _save_ people without creating more victims!” The look in Akechi’s eyes is almost strong enough to force Ren to his knees. “But you know _nothing_ about how it feels to lose everything to a man who _hates you_ , who made you suffer your entire life, who took the one thing away from you that meant anything to you with _no remorse_ or _compassion!_ ”

The weight of Akechi’s words makes Ren panic. “You’re right. I don’t know how you feel, but _you_ know how that feels! You don’t need to put more people in your situation!”

“ _Don’t tell me what to do!_ ”

Ren finds himself completely at the mercy of the boy in front of him. He can’t form thoughts together fast enough to either change the topic, calm the hysterical teenager down, or hell, signal for help. He braves taking another step forward.

“You want to kill your father.”

Akechi’s next action causes Ren to stumble. He laughs. Manically. “Please. I want him to _suffer_. Why the hell do you think I even took on all of those jobs in the first place?!”

It is an incriminating statement, but one Ren had a hunch was true a few months ago. Akechi continues to speak, his tone growing harsher and his voice growing louder. “I had to work even harder to impress him, to make him see that I could be valuable to him! That I would do everything I could to prove my skills and intelligence! Because the _second_ I knew he saw me as one of his own, I was going to destroy him!” He laughs again. “But then _you_ …”

Ren instinctively takes a step back. Akechi’s expression darkens with rage. “ _You_ had to have the nerve to try and _take that away from me!_ ”

Ren’s words fly from his mouth in fear. He tries to speak calmly. “We only know of his palace. That’s it. We have yet to do anything with that information.”

Sure, Ren wants to add Shido’s heart to the list of those he should change, but right now, Akechi doesn’t need to know that. Ren needs to agree with him, to offer himself as some sort of helping hand. So long as he gets Makoto to safety, he’ll do anything.

“Don’t sell me your good-guy heroism _bullshit!_ ” The gun is shaking under his grip. Ren believes he’s about to snap it in two. “Until you know what it’s like to be in my position, your words mean _nothing_ to me.”

Ren’s heart hammers painfully in his chest as Akechi lowers the gun to rest against the side of Makoto’s head. She winces at the contact, then the tears fall from her eyes. He finds his voice, but it’s weak and pitiful. “Please.” He tries once more to sound stronger, but fails. “ _Please_ don’t do this.”

Akechi’s eyes narrow when he attempts another step forward. “One more move Ren, and she’s dead.”

“I..it’s okay…”

The tears fall from his eyes when Makoto’s pleas reach his ears. He watches in horror as Akechi’s finger dances on the trigger.

“Akechi, please…”

“ _Shut up!_ ”

Ren almost doubles over and he has to hold back the nauseating terror that rises in his throat. He’s going to wake up from this, he knows it. This is just another nightmare. This isn’t real. _This isn’t real!_

He tries one more time to reason with the mad-man. His voice is hoarse, angry, and hopeless. “You know if you do this, _you’re_ not going to get out of here.” Ren’s eyes narrow, his panic turning to rage. “I swear I’ll kill you. My friends outside won’t stop me. All of your dedication and attempts will end here if you pull that trigger! You’ll _never_ get your vengeance!”

Akechi seems impressed with his threat. The anger fades slightly from his eyes, declaring some sort of challenge. “You don’t have the heart to kill me.” Akechi smiles darkly at him. “Once I kill her, you and your pathetic friends will be too shocked and horrified to notice me slip away.”

Ren locks eyes with Akechi. He can feel the pressure between the two of them and it’s absolutely _crushing_. Ren knows that he would never have the heart to kill anyone, but if Akechi really goes through with this, it may be the push that throws him over the edge of sanity.

“Are you willing to take that gamble?” Ren responds with fists tightening at his sides. “Because I’ll be sure you _suffer_ just like you want your father to.” He senses a slight moment of hesitation in Akechi at his statement. He presses on, his voice quiet but his tone growing darker than their surroundings. He admits that he scares himself. “I have contacts that know gang members that can hurt you since you don’t think _I_ can. I’ll watch them break your bones and tear your flesh until you’re _begging_ me to stop them. I have friends who can heal you, who can fix you, and then I’ll personally rip you apart until your screams are all the _fucking city of Tokyo_ can-,”

“ _Stop!_ ”

 Ren blinks and the world comes back into focus. Akechi stands impressively still, dumbstruck by his malicious outburst. But it’s Makoto’s pleas that suck the energy out of him.

“Please…” she gasps for air through her sobs. “Please stop.” She coughs, then lifts her face so she can look at him. While her voice is labored and scratchy, her words cut through the dark like lightning. “Please don’t let him turn you into something you’re not.” Her tears leave trails down her cheeks and Ren feels the room closing in on him. She does not break eye contact with him. “Please…”

He wants to say something, but he finds himself out of the necessary willpower to speak. He holds her gaze in an effort to convince her with a facial expression. He smiles weakly at her, hoping it can do more to console her than whatever he would say. Her face lights up moments later and she smiles at him in return.

His mind clear once more, he turns his attention back to Akechi to find some last-ditched method of negotiation. He finds the other teenager staring blankly at him, the gun lowering to the ground. Ren fears that maybe he’s freaked him out, but his lapse in focus is an opportunity he’s not about to pass up.

But when he takes a step to reach out to the boy, a grin stretches over Akechi’s lips and Ren’s blood drains from his face.

“I would like to see this monster you speak of.” He grabs the back of Makoto’s head and forces the gun to her temple.

“Stop.”

He makes no effort to suppress his demonic laugh. “Maybe then, through our familiar pain, we can make plans to have that friendship you speak of.”

“Don’t do this.”

Akechi only laughs harder. Then, he stops and glares at him. “You’re so _pathetic_.”

Through her tears, Makoto’s eyes meet his, almost as if to tell him it’s okay. He’s going to be okay. She’s going to be okay. _They_ will be okay.

_“Everything is going to be okay, Ren.”_

Her smile that follows shatters his heart into a million pieces.

“I love you.”

Akechi pulls the trigger.

Ren falls to his knees as her unconscious body hits the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. If you're still reading this anyway!
> 
> (returns to watching Akihiko and Nanako dance)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glad to know my sucker punch proved fatal!
> 
> Now enjoy flipping through this one for the answers you seek.
> 
> PS: Does anyone else find it weird that all the teenagers go by their first name except Akechi?

His fingers are shaking as they hover over the send button of a well-crafted message. He can’t do it. He can’t send it. He _shouldn’t_ send it, even though he wants to. However, it’s not any easier to erase the message or click out of his messenger app. He sits on his bed, all of his muscles straining to just _send the damn thing_ while his brain works in overdrive to keep him from actually doing it.

He closes his eyes tightly and hits send before throwing himself face-first into his pillow. Great. Now he has to deal with his anxiety as he waits for a reply. A reply he desperately wants to come, but also doesn’t want to read. He can’t even force himself to type a follow-up response to say he is joking because he’s _not_.

All because Futaba had to deliver a bombshell earlier that day.

Akechi wants to kill him.

What does he resort to doing in these kinds of situations?

Texting Makoto.

There had been something comforting about being around her when his emotions would spike as high as they are right now. He’s only human; he is no stranger to fear. And she knows this. And she helps him. She _heals_ him. She may think that he’s only using her, but truth be told, his favorite part when she had stayed over had been waking up with her tucked in his arms. He knows she is a cute girl, but asleep next to him, words had failed to describe her, and how he had felt about her.

But after their last encounter, he knows that she will never feel the same. She finds comfort in the _routine_ , not by being with him. It hurts, but he continues to hope for a chance with her. His feelings will never change, so if this is the best he can get, then so be it. He’d rather have _something_ than nothing at all.

He blames himself for it really. He never had followed through on his internal promise to stop. There never should have been a second time. He should have never allowed this to become a habit, especially since he knows Makoto thrives on structure. Most of all, he blames himself for not telling her how he really feels. However, it’s far too late for it to mean anything to her now.   

His phone beeps in his hand. He quickly sits up, eyes scanning the recent message. His heart leaps into his throat and a huge smile forms on his face.

It’s from Makoto. She’s on her way.

He instantly feels so much better, even if he has no right to. He knows she’s coming over because he has asked her to. That, and she probably still feels terrible about the last time they had spent the night together. He tries to tell himself that if he can deviate from what she’s expecting, maybe he can convince her that she’s more than just a partner in bed. He doubts he will be able to tell her outright that he loves her, but he’s always been good at improvising when he wants to.

If things go as well as he hopes they do, maybe he can finally ask her to be his girlfriend. After all, what’s the worst that could happen that hasn’t already been done?  

The knock on the café door pulls him from his musings. He all but runs down the stairs and to the door. He smiles warmly as he throws the door open and stands aside to let Makoto in.

“Thank you for coming.”

He always says it, but he always means it. It also helps to eliminate any stagnant tension in the room. He knows she’s not one for words, so he takes on the responsibility to keep away awkward silences. He also knows his voice calms her considerably, something that makes his heart dance in his chest.

“Is everything okay?” She always asks, because he wouldn’t ask her over this late at night if everything was okay.

“Actually, I was told some pretty shocking news.” She takes his hand when he offers and he leads her up the stairs to sit on his bed. So far, so good. He worries that if he veers too far off course too early, she’ll freak out (or worse, get angry again) and leave. When her hand finds its resting spot above his knee, he has to restrain himself from making love to her then and there.

“So, what’s the shocking news?” Her fingers begin to dance on the fabric of his pants and he bites the inside of his mouth to keep his mind focused. Speak first, heal later.

He turns on his bed so he is facing her. He leans in to rest his forehead against hers while his hand finds its place on her cheek, the tips of his fingers brushing strands of hair behind her ear. She doesn’t pull away, and that’s a good sign. “Futaba said Akechi is going to try and kill me.”

He probably should have guessed she was going to pull away in a panic. “W-what?!”

Her distance from him is a good thing and a bad thing all at once. He may have been a little too eager to have her under him again and forgot exactly why he had asked her over. He sheepishly rubs the back of his head. “I may not have paid much attention. Once she told me that, I kind of zoned out.”

A mix of emotions flitter across her face. He hesitantly reaches for her, but she pulls away and stands from the bed. “You can’t be serious.”

She’s angry, he can tell without looking up at her. “I plan on calling everyone together tomorrow to go over the details.” He pushes himself off the bed to stand in front of her. “I’m terrified, yes, but I know we can all think of something. Right?”

He lifts her face so he can look into her eyes for a sign that he can move forward or if he needs to talk things over more. He is never one hundred percent sure of what she is feeling when he studies her like this. However, she appears to come to the same conclusion he has: there’s nothing more either one of them can do about it right now.

It’s all the signal he needs to press on and kiss her.

She doesn’t protest his advance, and they fall into the scripted song and dance. She’s the first one to remove his shirt, and his hands begin to pull at her clothing as she runs her fingers over the plane of his chest. (He does one extra pull-up a day so he can impress her even more each day.) They are both practically naked before her back lands on the bed. His desire always hits him the hardest upon impact, when his bare chest collides with hers, when his heart burst with love, realizing just how beautiful she is, again. Tonight, he pauses a little longer to look at her, to _study_ her, trying to engrain the image in his head for nights she’s not next to him.

“You’re beautiful, you know that?”

He’s at least rewarded with an instant blush and a squeal, then her embarrassment forces her to grab his neck and pull him to her. From there, it’s the melody of breaths and moans (and occasionally, his name slipping from her lips, causing his heart to do backflips), the sensation of her fingers digging into his back while he moves inside her, and the clashing of tongues and lips that pull them both over the edge.

He takes her by surprise for a second time and kisses her deeply, but affectionately, while she tries to catch her breath.

She, in turn, tries to push him off of her. “What was that for?”

He is completely caught off guard by her reaction. His breath comes out of his lungs in a puff of laughter as a result. “W-what do you mean?”

He hovers over her, even though he wants nothing more than to fall to her side and sleep and dream happy dreams. She does not meet his gaze, and something stirs in his stomach and nearly makes him sick.

She shifts underneath him so she can sit up. She still doesn’t look at him. “It’s nothing. Never mind.”

Due to either the exhaustion or the creeping pain in his heart, he rolls off of her to his place beside her on the bed. He grabs the covers and throws the sheets over both of them. She stirs next to him, likely trying to get comfortable a safe distance away from him. He doesn’t move for a few minutes, afraid that this is going to end like last time and they would both cry themselves to sleep. The negativity behind that thought allows him to summon up the courage to bring his arm over her to pull her closer to him. She doesn’t fight back or pull away, so he smiles and rests his head against her shoulder.  

“I…” He wants to tell her he loves her, but his chest caves and the words never make it out of his mouth. He never thought three simple words would have been so hard to say, but when he tries again, the pressure crushes him into silence.

She says nothing, nor does she question what he had been trying to tell her. She actually seems very still, almost like she’s asleep. His curiosity gets the better of him. “Are you asleep already?”

He lifts his head when she’s quiet and waits for an answer. He finally grows anxious and forces himself to sit up and look down at her. Her eyes are still open, so he knows she has heard him. His next fear is that she’s crying, but he doesn’t notice any tears. A familiar dread sets in his heart. It’s heartbreaking looking at her from his angle. She just lays there, staring ahead of her, lifeless.

He can’t deal with it, so he falls back down to the bed. In his desperation to set things right, he manages to find his voice. “Makoto, I want you to be honest with me.” His hand finds the one closest to him and he squeezes a little too hard. “Do you hate me, for what I’ve done to you, what I’ve done to _us?”_

Her response is a hoarse whisper. “Why do you think that?”

He swallows before speaking again. “I feel like I’ve…I don’t know, _broken_ you. You’re a completely different person now.”

“Is that bad?”

“Well.” His heart tears in his chest. “I know this isn’t something you want, but I keep demanding it of you, even after I said I would stop.”

A soft laughter escapes her lips, but it sends a terrifying chill up his spine. “You don’t know what I want.”

His voice cracks. “I would if you told me.”

She hesitates for a second, then, “I want you to hold me.”

He’s so overcome with joy at her statement that he wastes no time wrapping both of his arms around her and hugging her close. He laughs happily in her ear as he nuzzles the side of her face. He finds words meaningless for the time being, so he simply finds comfort in the fact that she _wants_ to be in his arms.

But eventually, he can’t contain it and he has to tell her how happy he is. “I want to stay like this for the rest of my life.” He kisses the side of her neck. “I want to go to bed every night with you and wake up every morning with you in my arms so I can look at your beautiful face and never let you go.”

They fall into a comfortable silence and the peace and warmth of being beside her pulls him into a semi-conscious state of sleep. He only snaps out of it when he hears Makoto speaking to him.

“I wish I could be as good with words as you are.”

There’s a hint of sadness in her tone and it sets off alarm bells in his mind. “Just say what’s on your mind.”

He feels her shift in his arms and he loosens his grip so she can turn to face him. His breath catches in his throat when he looks into her eyes and he can’t help but lean over and kiss her. When he pulls away, she smiles at him, lifts her hand, and brushes his hair out of his eyes. Her tender touch almost makes him roll back on top of her for round two (that would be a first), but then he catches a glint of light at the corner of her eyes.

His thumb brushes the tears away before she realizes she’s crying. However, he can’t tell if she’s crying because she’s happy, or if this is a sign that what she’s about to say will destroy him.

“I-I want to stay here…w-with you…t-tonight.”

Well, it’s a start, and he gives her credit for saying it. It makes his heart swell with love and he kisses her forehead before pulling her into him.

“I would _love_ that.” See, he _can_ say the word! But instead of trying again, he decides to save it for another day. No need to push it. He also doesn’t want to seem like he’s trying to outdo her when she had done so well in speaking her mind and _gods_ does he love her!

She snuggles into him while his hand finds its way into her hair to gently coax her to sleep. Not that he would stop her if she would like to keep talking, but she’s made enough progress for one night. And he doubts that she could say anything more to him that would make him any happier. He feels her still against him several minutes later. He figures she’s trying to get some sleep, so he decides to do the same.

He has the best sleep of his life, filled with happy and fluffy dreams.

But when he wakes up, she’s gone. 

-.-.-

If Ryuji complains about the operation _one more time_ , Morgana is going to rip out his vocal chords.

Yes, he may not have agreed with the plan, but he had grown to expect many great things from Ren. He had been able to pull himself (and the team) from dangerous situations at the drop of a hat. Ren had never stopped looking for him when he was stupid enough to wander off into Okumura’s palace alone. He knew Ren was exactly the kind of person the city, or maybe even the world, needed more of.

But Ren was only human.

He had human emotions.

He had human emotions Morgana would _never_ understand.

 _That_ was where his hesitation had come from.

He did not know the extent of Ren’s relationship problems, but he _knew_ something was off. He could tell. It wasn’t just when Ren had asked him to leave on random nights with no real reason, but he started to notice signs from his place in his bag, or even in the Metaverse. It wasn’t Morgana’s place to ask, and he couldn’t come down on Ren for hiding secrets when he had not been particularly forthcoming himself. But there had been a moment during one of the early infiltrations to Sae’s palace that worried him.

_Everyone’s eyes are wide with curiosity and amazement as they scan the casino’s massive and beautiful second floor. Mona keeps reminding the team (Oracle and Skull especially) that they are not here to play games and have fun. They are on a mission, one that is extremely personal to two of their best members. Goofing around would be highly frowned upon!_

_But…it is kind of cool. All the flashing lights remind him of Kamoshida’s treasure room, so full of shiny objects and treasure…_

_So, he allows everyone to at least find intrigue in the unknown, as long as they keep moving._

_It isn’t until they clear the area of shadows and trouble do they take a moment to be entranced by the lights and noises. Mona allows them the break outside of the safe room only because it’s safe and everyone’s wonder is contagious._

_“I am impressed with its elegance,” Fox says as he frames the main floor of slot machines with his fingers. “I could do without all the noise.”_

_Oracle dances around on the floor in front of him. “This is soooo cool!” She laughs. “Makes me want to be an adult now!”_

_“I’m sure the allure is what causes people to lose their money.” Mona states his mind, but he also knows it’s true. Another reason why he is happy he’s not a human, for now. He finds the casino too appealing and would likely fall for their trap and go broke in an instant. Or maybe he could get lucky? Would Lady Ann like him then?!_

_Skull, of course, snorts at him and pulls him from his daydream. “Why ya gotta be the downer, man?” The blond then turns his attention back on the slot machine in front of him. “I don’t even understand how these work.”_

_Mona fades in and out of the conversations around him until his cat ears pick up on Queen’s voice. “I would like to study the effects of casinos on other human cognitions.”_

_He thinks her comment is nothing more than one of intrigue. Then, “I find that fascinating as well.” It’s Crow. Mona watches him come to stand directly behind where Queen had been sitting on a stool in front of a machine. Whether or not he makes physical contact, he cannot tell from his angle. Not that it bothers him, but he strangely feels animosity from someone. But...who? Crow looks pleased and happy, and everyone else is soaking in the casino’s glory. Did Skull do something stupid again?_

_“Perhaps one day I shall take you to one and we can study together.”_

_Had it not been for Crow’s voice to grab his attention again, Mona never would have caught the anger in Joker’s eyes. It literally sends a chill through his tiny frame. He watches nervously as Joker approaches the two, worried that he’s going to do something stupid over a stupid comment. But, why is he so angry? Sure, Crow is under suspicion at the moment, but if this is what lights a fuse in their leader, Mona doesn’t want to think of what else could set him off. Mona likes to think that Joker knows Queen can handle herself._

_“We need to get moving.”_

_Joker and Crow face each other and Mona is almost certain one of them is going to attack the other. Queen must sense the hostility as well. She stands and steps between the two of them. However, Mona notes that she places her hands on Joker’s chest and effectively creates a few meters of distance between the two boys. It had happened very quickly and everyone else had been too busy with their surroundings to notice the tension. But Mona had. And it scared him._

_Just, not as much as Crow’s growing smile beneath his mask._  

It had been subtle, thankfully, but that flash in Ren’s eyes had haunted Morgana for several days. Having been around Ren enough to read his facial expressions and body language, he had recognized it immediately as jealousy. Over a simple comment that Morgana was sure had been an attempt at small talk.

He had been a little more upset about it than he would ever admit to Ren. The teen never told him that he was pursuing a relationship with Makoto, and it worried him that he didn’t trust him. Morgana would have (and actually still does) approve of it, so why did he feel as if he had to hide it? Was Ren _embarrassed_ about being with her? Had he been worried about what everyone would say?

He was sure Ren would have been the type of guy to openly brag about a relationship with someone as wonderful as Makoto. The secrecy behind it had concerned Morgana in more ways than one. He didn’t want to believe Ren was someone who would be using a friend for his own benefits, whatever _that_ meant. But when he had failed to pick up signs of excessive flirting or a desire to be around her outside of meetings or whatever he didn’t want Morgana around for at night, he thought it was just a teenage phase for Ren. Makoto just happened to be there when he had asked.

All of that had slammed into this face when he watched Ren pound the floor at Sae’s palace.

He had been so _angry_ , so _upset_. Morgana would have placed a bet that if Akechi had shown himself at that very moment, Ren would have _killed_ him. It was terrifying to think about, but as the hours passed and Morgana couldn’t be there the following nights to calm him down or _talk_ to him, he feared what would happen when the two finally crossed paths again.

Currently, he stands on all fours, anticipating the moment he needs to rush in and help. Deep in his heart, he knows Ren isn’t a bad guy, that he isn’t going to hurt anyone, even if Akechi deserves it. But there is something unsettling about sitting in the darkness, watching the rest of the team who also appears ready to charge in.

Maybe he should be happy he’s not human after all.

Morgana sighs and sits on his hind legs. It’s been maybe five minutes, but he feels like it’s been all night. The tension from anticipation is thick enough to make him think he’s standing on the summit of a tall mountain. But what can he say to the team? This is why Ren made such a good leader; he was always so good with people and words.

Just apparently not so much with Makoto, but whatever.

Everyone turns and freezes when a car approaches the house. _Damn it_. He should have done more digging into whose house this was, because he fears that they have returned home. The team needs to stay together in case Ren signals for help (or something else happens), but it’s probably not the best to have five teenagers on the front lawn of someone’s home this late at night.

Maybe the car won’t find them suspicious, because it’s already too late to tell the teens to hide.

This would have been a spectacular way to go out: The Phantom Thieves, professionals at hiding in the shadows, caught unawares in the darkness of night…

However, the car comes to a stop and Morgana sees a familiar figure step out from behind the wheel. He releases his breath and allows his heart rate to come to a steady pace before he speaks to the team.

“It’s okay.” He watches the team relax and Ann is the one to approach Takemi.

“Oh, Ren must have asked you to come!”

“Smart thinkin’.” Ryuji turns back towards the house with a grimace on his face. “Hope we don’t need ya though.”

Just then, a shot rings in his ears.

Morgana says nothing in that moment of fear. No one does. Hands are thrown over mouths to cover gasps, eyes are wide in apparent horror, and Futaba runs and seeks cover behind Ann as she cries.

He applauds Ryuji for being the only one to charge forward. It pulls him from his own state of shock and he runs into the home right behind him. His mind is swimming in emotions he has not had to deal with in so long. The feeling of being so helpless and lost burns at the back of his eyes. He is up the stairs before he knows he is and continues to follow Ryuji through the darkness. How the boy manages to find where he’s going he hasn’t a clue, but the next second, he comes face to face with the back of Ryuji’s leg.

The boy has come to a complete stop, and Morgana peers around him to see why.

The room is eerily silent, given the gravity of what’s just happened. Akechi stands a few feet away from them, a gun in his left hand, a smirk growing on his face. Morgana chokes on the dread that seizes his heart and rips it from his chest.

Makoto is on the ground, seemingly unconscious, a small trail of blood on the right side of her head.

Ren is on the ground, his shoulders shaking and his fingers digging forcibly enough into his palms that there’s blood in between his fingers.

Ryuji, the impulsive one who reacts the quickest in moments of surprise, falls back against the doorframe.

Time stands still for several minutes, but the weight of the situation only grows stronger and heavier until Morgana is sure the ceiling is going to cave in and _everyone_ is going to die.

A sudden movement pulls Morgana out of his stupor, but he can’t find his voice fast enough to stop what’s about to occur.

Ren tackles Akechi to the ground before the other boy can even raise his gun to take him out. The impact is forceful enough that the gun falls out of Akechi’s hands and both of them land on the ground. When Akechi makes an attempt to push Ren off and reach for it, Ren’s fist comes down to the side of his head.

Morgana can only watch in horror as Ren lifts his hand for another hit. This is what he had been afraid of. Not that he had _expected_ Akechi to kill Makoto, but Ren is in so much of a raging frenzy that he just stands there, unable to move or speak or _think_. Ren is the one he depends on to help him, to help his friends, to help other people in need. His abilities in the Metaverse are proof of his good heart.

He can literally see the flames of darkness and hatred consuming the boy, and _that_ is what breaks Morgana’s heart.

Ren pulls back for another blow when Ryuji finally pulls out of his trance and grabs his arm before he can land another punch. The blond says nothing, but he doesn’t need to. Ren fights him for a second, but then he yields. His wrist remains firmly locked in Ryuji’s grip, and Morgana believes had it not been for that, Ren would have collapsed to the floor. 

Morgana hears voices behind him, but his heart is too far away to make sense of what he’s hearing. He’s very rudely brought back to reality when he feels pressure on his tail. He assumes it’s an accident, but then a blur of dark colors rush by him.

The doctor.

He’s not ready for this. He doesn’t want to hear her address the obvious. He can’t bear to watch Ren take any more pain, even if he knows it’s far too late to change it.

Morgana only realizes he’s crying when he blinks and the world becomes clear again. Ren is now holding Makoto close to him, as if thinking he can give her his own life to bring her back. He’s saying something to her, but from his distance, it’s far too quiet for him to hear. He’s crying, maybe pleading for her to hang on, but Morgana can’t take it and looks away.

Yusuke and Ryuji stand beside a now bound Akechi, who is surprisingly conscious and only slightly bleeding from a cut to the side of his head. Morgana knows that Ren is strong enough to deliver some serious damage, so the teen’s unbruised and unbroken face shocks him. He admits his angle (and mostly his state of mind) had blocked the onslaught, but…

Maybe Ren’s heart is stronger than he gives him credit for.

He just wishes his own could be as strong so he could offer some words to the boy as he carries Makoto’s body out of the room.

-.-.-

“Right. Because I want to advertise that we’ve made the jump from ‘friends with benefits’ to ‘boyfriend and girlfriend.’”

Makoto bites her tongue. She cannot _believe_ she just said that. The silence that follows is deafening. She racks her brain to form an escape plan because she’s clearly not in the right mindset to be using words to vocalize her feelings.

But, now that it is out in the open, she wants to know how _he_ feels about her comment. While the title was never officially given to their relationship, that’s really all it was. They were friends who slept together. Hell, sometimes she didn’t think they were even friends anymore.

She knows she’s partly to blame for that. She had never stopped him. She had never turned him down. She had never asked to talk instead. Slowly, but surely, she began to feel as if she had slipped into her push-over personality, and she had started to hate him for it.

But like a drug, she had been addicted to his familiarity and warmth and she kept running back to him. His kindness and gentle touches had often left her thinking that he liked her on a more serious level. Sometimes, she could look into his eyes and find some degree of love. But just as quickly as she had discovered it, he would blink and it was gone. Then came the apology, the regret, and the frustration.

It had taken its toll over the weeks, and it even caused her to go as far as plucking pedals from flowers, doing the whole “he loves me, he loves me not,” charade.

It all changed when she had shown up at his doorstep uninvited. He had been so _angry_ at her that she seriously thought he was going to hurt her. She had wanted to ask him to stop, but there was something in his eyes that scared her. He had always been so affectionate when he was with her, but that night, he had been anything but. Hot, angry tears had spilled from her eyes due to his actions, but when she woke up, she knew she had no reason to be angry with him. She had been the one to hurt him. She had used him. So she had apologized and asked him to forgive her.

It hit her when he gasped that it had been _exactly_ the same thing he would say to her. Had he always felt like that? Had he always been so upset with himself the next morning and the words just tumbled right out of his mouth?

It had been an interesting insight, and she had made her mind up then that she would come clean to him their next evening encounter. When she had received his message a few days later, she had steeled herself. She had even written a confession on paper (it had taken her hours and several pieces of paper) in case words failed her in the moment. But when she had arrived, there had been a different air about him, almost as if he had been afraid to touch her or speak with her. It had been enough of a heartbreaking sight that she had decided to try and fix things between them the only way she knew how.

It wasn’t until he had told her that she had seemed like a completely different person that everything fell apart. So she had asked him to hold her, to let her stay with him, to allow herself to pretend that he had loved her as much as she had loved him. Unwilling to let him shatter that perfect evening with his apology, she had waited until she knew he was asleep, then left his embrace in the middle of the night. She had called a taxi at the station, then returned home and cried herself to sleep, alone and cold.

When he had cornered her at school the next day to ask about it, she had told him she needed her space. It had hurt to see the look of pain on his face, and she had barely been able to catch him say, _“I guess it was a bit too much to hope you could forgive me…”_ as she had walked away.

For the last few nights, she had fallen asleep to the sounds of her own cries, hoping that when she would wake up, he would be tracing some pattern on her arm, or cradling her face, or smiling at her with that perfect smile and would tell her how beautiful she was…

But when she had received his text only a few hours ago, she read a sense of urgency. His messages had always simply asked her to come over, but this one had concerned her. With the nearing of the infiltration on her sister’s palace and Ren’s deadly battle with Akechi, she had worried something had gone wrong or that he had been hurt…

She had once again buried her feelings in an attempt to be his friend, an ear to listen, a shoulder to lean on. _“I may have just wanted to see you.”_

 _…_ A person to use.

Which eventually had led her to say something incredibly stupid and inappropriate, even if it had been a thought that had been constantly echoing in her mind.

She peers over her shoulder to take a look at him, and what she sees breaks her heart. He’s clenching and unclenching his fists. His mouth is open to say something, but no words come out. His eyes are restless, scanning the room and everything in it, but they never land on her. He looks utterly defeated, angry, and betrayed by her remark.

What did this mean for them now? Was this the end of their relationship? Was this the end of their _friendship?_ Had she just pushed him over the edge and _now_ he had the motivation to call things off with her? He _had_ tried to ask her out, at an extremely bad time, but still…

They _really_ need to talk.

But she knows now is not the time. They need to be ready to infiltrate her sister’s palace in two days. She mentally needs to prepare for Sae’s reaction to the calling card that’s burning a hole in her desk drawer in her room. Once it’s all over, and Ren is back safe, they can talk about their situation.

She feels the pinpricks of tears behind her eyes as she looks away and heads for the door. “We can talk about this once everything is taken care of. But right now, our focus needs to be on the mission. Your life is at stake.” She pauses and holds a hand over her heart. “My sister’s life is at stake.”

She makes no other effort to talk and she can only hope he understands. Because she sure as hell doesn’t understand.

Her hand reaches the door, but before she can open it, Ren calls out to her. “Just, promise me something before you go.”

She looks at him again and the anger and hurt is replaced with concern. It’s at that moment that she wants to walk up to him, tell him everything is going to be okay, that she really does want to be with him, that she does want to spend every night with him and wake up beside him every morning. But her feet are too heavy to move. Her tongue is too dry to say anything. She also knows that what she had said hurt him, and she has no right to ask to stay and pick up the pieces now. So, she nods and meets his eyes.

“Keep an eye on Akechi. If you feel threatened or anything, please let me know. Or let someone else know.”

Right. He did say something about Akechi possibly changing his plan and was going to try and capture her. She doesn’t buy it. How in the world would her academic rival know about their relationship anyway? _She_ didn’t even know what their relationship had been, or will be. Ren didn’t appear to treat her any differently than his other friends. (Well, in public, hopefully…) It had been a point she had addressed, but he still seemed so determined. But, she could at least put his mind at ease and be more guarded around Akechi.

She owes him that much.

She nods, and before the look in his eyes convinces her to stay, she leaves. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So you've reached the end. I can already hear the anguish and frustrated groans and/or cries! I shall wrap it with blue and silver wrapping paper and throw the sounds under my tree! 
> 
> On a better note, I enjoyed writing this chapter, Morgana's section especially. Can't say I've ever written a POV from anything other than a human...But he's also close to Ren and he's confused and I love writing about confused feelings. 
> 
> I had intended on this being the end of the story before I decided I wanted to continue it. But don't worry, this chapter was nothing like the original. So when I decided to write more, I moved a lot of stuff around and added more things to make you guys hate what I've done to your insides. 
> 
> Anyways, thanks for reading (if you are still).
> 
> And since I doubt another update will be up before Christmas, MERRY CHRISTMAS! MUCH CHEER! DRINK BEER!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, after pretty much rewriting the end of this (same outcome, just different methods), I hope I can redeem myself. I wanted to wait to post this until I had another chapter done, but I can't keep being heartless and evil. I fear I have caused you all to suffer too much.
> 
> So, Merry Christmas from the Dragon.
> 
> Enjoy!

Words do very little to describe how she’s feeling.

Well, for the most part, that’s because she can’t grasp at anything long enough to form a single thought. Add in the searing _pain_ , she knows better than to try.

So she sits in the darkness of her mind and for once in her life, doesn’t _think_. She almost feels like she’s asleep, but very _aware_ she’s asleep. It’s kind of terrifying, not understanding what’s happening around her, but there’s a tug at her senses that numbs her and she finds herself slipping in and out of a deep and a light sleep.

If the pain wasn’t there, she’d likely believe she was dead.

 _That_ scares her into consciousness.

The pain behind her eyes keeps them closed, so her next reaction is to open her mouth and scream. But her lips are too heavy, her voice too deep in her throat to make any sort of noise. She tries again, willing the pain and fear to go away so she can tell herself that she’s not _dead_.

Somehow in her unconscious panic, her ears are able to pick up on a light hum. Is it a person? Is it some sort of messenger from the other world coming to steal her soul away from her dead body? She hears it again, slightly clearer, but not enough to make out where it’s coming from. The sound is constant and if she had the ability to, she would bat the source away. But as of right now, it’s her lifeline, and so she fights through the darkness to grab on to it.

She hears her name. The person sounds…worried? Anxious? Impatient? Her sense of touch comes back to her slowly. The voice keeps repeating her name and she can feel somewhat warm and…aren’t dead people _cold?_

She still doesn’t have the strength to speak or open her eyes, but she tries to reach out to whoever is talking to her. She stops when she realizes there is something around one of her hands. It’s warm too, and maybe familiar? Like she’s used to it? What is happening?

“Can you hear me?”

The sound she makes in response is a crackled whine, and somewhere deep in her subconscious, her pride takes a critical hit. However, it’s enough of an answer for the other person to _stop saying her name!_

“Oh, good. You’re still with us.”

She can’t fault herself for not knowing whose voice it is, but it’s still very welcoming. There’s a light laugh from the person (she probably made some weird face), then they speak to her again. “I’ve given you a few doses of medication for the pain, but I’m relieved to finally see you’re regaining consciousness.”

Through some miracle, she’s finally able to overcome the barrier of pain and drowsiness to open her eyes. Her vision is extremely hazy and unfocused, which seems to amuse the person who’s watching her. She keeps fighting until she can make out a figure, presumably female, very dark hair, and a _very_ bright dress. The contrast in colors almost makes her vision go dark again.

After taking a moment to readjust her sight, the room comes into focus. The young lady standing by her bed must have noticed her pain as she is no longer wearing the bright white dress. Or, as she now realizes, her lab coat. She turns to the woman, wanting to ask her who she is and why she’s with her, but she’s slightly overwhelmed with the fact she’s _alive_.

More things come into focus as the apparent doctor takes a seat by her bed. Her eyes land on the line running into her arm, the opposite end draping from a bag of fluids. The woman speaks to her softly, as to not agitate her growing state of discomfort.

“I’m glad to see you’re coming to.”

She wants to ask how she’s even alive, but it’s a question that can wait until she becomes more stable.

“You’ve suffered from severe dehydration, which is why I have you hooked up to an IV.” She studies a clipboard she pulls from seemingly nowhere. “You have a mild concussion, and I had to give you a few stitches for the laceration on your head.” That explains why she feels her head is about to explode. She watches the doctor sigh, hopefully from relief, then slowly stands from the chair.

“I don’t know how he was able to pull this off, but you are _both_ extremely lucky.”

The woman she now remembers is the local doctor that Ren had asked to help out when Futaba was unwell. She may have been an interesting character from the bits and pieces she can pull from her memories, but if he could trust her, then she would, too.

She almost shoots out of bed.

_Ren!_

She wants to see him. She can deal with the pain and the increasing pressure and the very real fear that she had narrowly escaped death, but more than _anything_ she wants to know if he’s okay. That he didn’t do anything rash. That he didn’t get so upset with himself and then do something stupid.

Takemi (that is her name, right?) chuckles at her as she tries to find the ability to speak. The doctor only nods once in her direction, her eyes falling to the other side of her bed.

“He’s been there the whole time you’ve been out. Had to write up at least one doctor’s note to keep him out of trouble with the school.” The weight in her hand now makes perfect sense. “This is the first time I’ve come in to find him asleep. I think he needed it.” With that, she gives her fluid bag one last check before she turns and leaves the room.

Makoto thinks it would be best to let Ren get his sleep, but she’s not in a good state of mind to be making great decisions. All the revelations and the pain and the utter _relief_ reminds her that she needs rest, too, but her heart is yearning to meet his eyes once again. To tell him that she didn’t say _I love you_ in fear she would never see him again. She wants to tell him again, and over and over until she’s run her throat dry.

She squeezes his hand, but he never stirs. She pauses a moment to examine his features. His unruly hair is matted to the sides of his face. His lips are turned down in a frown, his eyebrows drawn together in a painful slumber. She worries that maybe he’s dreaming of waking and discovering her dead, or maybe he’s in some sort of pain himself. She moves her hand from his to shake him as best she can in her state, tries calling out to him (which sounds more like weak gasping), but nothing works.

She resigns herself to wait. She’s being selfish, but she can’t help it. She feels she deserves this moment of selfishness, and scolds herself because she also wants to comfort _him_. She remembers the terrifying look in his eyes when he had threatened Akechi, how angry he had been, and the very real fear that he was going to kill him.

She may have managed to get through to him then, but she worries about what he had done once Akechi had pulled the trigger.

She finds herself unable to sit still, so she removes her hand from his shoulder and places it at the top of his head. She will never admit to him that there is something soothing about playing with his hair. Her fingers trace outlines of light nothings on his scalp, her hand sometimes becoming tangled up in his long locks. She’s careful not to wake him while she studies his face, carving the image into her mind for the next time she has trouble falling asleep.

The tension around his eyes and mouth disappear the longer she runs her fingers through his hair. Before long, he begins to move. She smiles at him, trying almost too hard to keep from crying and calling out to him with what weak voice she has. She watches him come out of whatever sleep stage he is in, then he must have felt the light tugging in his hair, for he is awake the next second.

He straightens his back immediately, his eyes wide and shoulders tense. She tries to say his name, but it comes out a weak and mumbled groan more than a word. His eyes are still wide, even after he appears to realize she’s awake. They look at each other for a second that to her, seems to last forever.

The next thing she knows, she’s sobbing, unable to find the strength to tell him she loves him and she had never meant to worry him or see him hurt. His arms are around her shortly after. She can feel the familiar tremors and puffs of his chest that tell her that he’s crying, too.

“I love you, Makoto.” He cries harder into her shoulder, his arms squeezing her almost painfully. “I love you so much.”

For the first time in her life, she’s happy because she’s with him.

-.-.-

Sae literally crashes into him as she comes rushing into the single room of the clinic.

“She’s still not in the best-,”

“ _Makoto!!_ ”

Something about the way the older Niijima throws herself at her younger sister brings tears back to Ren’s eyes. He’s never cried so much in his life, never felt so many emotions at once in his life, and never felt so _happy_ in his life.

“I’m so sorry!”

He takes one last look at the sisters, then offers them both their space. He quietly closes the door behind him as Takemi approaches him from her spot on the couch in the waiting room.

“I think you owe me an explanation.” Her eyes narrow at him. “That gunshot should have killed her.”

He’s really not in the mood for a discussion, but his silence does little to quell the anger he can feel emanating from the woman in front of him.

“You asked me to be there _in case_ someone got hurt. I only agreed to help because it’s my civic duty as a medical professional. I should have asked you for more details, but you _knew_ what was going to happen before you sent that message, didn't you?”

He finds himself stepping away from her in shame. “I…I didn’t _know_ he was going to shoot her.”

“You should have called the _police_ , Ren!” She’s almost screaming at him. “You, a teenager, put another person’s _life_ in great danger! And for what?!”

Ren’s voice is quiet. “It’s complicated.”

“It’s _not_ complicated.” He senses Takemi is about to strangle him, so he takes another step back. “That girl could have been killed! She _should_ have been killed!”

“Stop. Please.”

“I don’t think you realize the severity of your decision.” She pulls back, but she’s not any less angry. “Regardless of the strange feats you’re able to pull off with your ‘friends’, this was very _real_. And you took it upon yourself to see it through?”

“And she’s _alive_ because of that.”

Ren nearly slides down the wall to the floor when Sae steps out of the room and defends him. Her eyes are still red from crying, but there’s also determination that he’s never _not_ going to be amazed with.

Takemi is taken off guard by her comment, but says nothing in return. “I know the police would have been the most logical way to approach the situation,” Sae continues. “But this wasn’t a _logical_ situation.” She takes a deep breath, then there’s an unreadable emotion in her eyes when she looks at him. “You saved my sister.” She’s going to cry again. So is he. “Thank you.”

As much as he wants to, despite being a man surrounded by women, he doesn’t cry. He offers Sae a smile to replace the words he can’t seem to say. Contrary to what Sae tells him, he actually did very little to help. If anything, Takemi has a right to be angry with him. He had pushed someone past their breaking point, even while having a hostage, and had that _one_ aspect of his plan fell through, he would have been having a very _different_ conversation right now.

Takemi sighs, knowing there is no point in continuing the argument because everything had worked out. “Just remember you got lucky this time. And at some point.” Her eyes fall to the floor as she trails off. “Luck runs out.”

The doctor walks back into the room to check on her patient without saying another word. Ren suddenly finds it very difficult to breathe in the presence of Sae.

He tries to break the ice. “So, is she feeling okay?”

Sae cocks an eyebrow at him. “Did you not figure that out for yourself?”

“Well,” he mutters as he plays with a strand of hair. He kind of just said the first thing that came to his mind. Sae is pretty intimidating. “She’s alive, and that’s all I really needed to know.”

If she wants to question his terrible reply, she doesn’t. “Regardless, she still needs to recover.” A flash of anger passes through her eyes, their dark brown color almost a blood red. It scares him, and he hopes he’s not the outlet of her sudden rage.

Her tone is sharp and quick. “I need to go.”

He steps in front of her to stop her, already knowing what she’s thinking. “You need to calm down.”

It _probably_ had not been the best thing to say to her. “Excuse me?”

Ren swallows hard, but recalls the same anger taking control of his mind and pulling at him until it had scared the hell out of the one he had been trying to save. “I know how you feel. I do. But.” He pauses to read her reaction, but she’s still very pissed off. “I wanted to kill him when I tackled him to the ground. I had every chance to make him pay for what he thought he did, hell, what _I_ thought he did.” His shoulders drop and he closes his eyes. “But I didn’t. I hit him _once_ so he didn’t get up and fight back before the others came in.” The memories force him down into a nearby chair. “I was so angry, so afraid that you didn’t get that replica to him and he really _killed_ her. But…”

After a few moments, he steadies himself, returns to his feet, and speaks with a strength that he had not felt in a very long time. “I will _not_ become a monster. And I will not allow you, or my friends, to let your anger get the best of you.”

Her eyes are a mix of feelings, most of them _not good_ , but she appears to be fighting more with herself. He can’t blame her. It had taken every part of himself to keep from pummeling the life out of Akechi. The only reason he had been able to stop himself from killing the teen had been the constant echo of Makoto’s voice in his ears:

_“Don’t let him turn you into something you’re not.”_

So his fist had hit the floor next to his head, over and over until he literally couldn’t feel his hand.

Sae’s defeat is evident in her sigh. “It is still my responsibility to see that he’s brought to justice.” She meets his gaze. “I owe my sister that much.” Then, “I owe you that much as well.”

He allows himself a moment of contentment at her words, then he grins at her. “You probably wouldn’t let me talk to him myself right now, would you?”

The corners of her lips turn up, as if they are both about to plan something devious. “And why would you want that?”

He almost laughs. “Just call it a favor.”

-.-.-

After a quick stop by Leblanc and a few phone calls to his friends, Ren walks behind Sae into the police station like he’s her partner on the force. (Sae has to scold him several times to stop acting like a child, in which he always responds with, "Should I arrest myself for falsifying a cop?" She's never amused.) Deep down, he wants to be with Makoto, but Sae herself had told him that she needs her rest more than anything. But leaving her alone was not something he could deal with, so his friends had agreed to keep her company.

Really, who would have guessed his probation sentence would have led him to find the best people in the world?

“I’m afraid I won’t be able to offer you a private room for you to speak to him,” Sae tells him as she hands him a badge. “He _is_ a criminal and it’s prohibited to see him alone unless you’re a lawyer or a cop. Sadly.” She points to the badge in his hands. “You’re neither.”

He shrugs his shoulders, already anticipating the result. Maybe he could get lucky and Akechi would be the only one with a visitor this time of day so they could have some privacy. Sae follows behind him and with some trepidation, he sits at a small table in the visitor’s room. There is no glass between him and the other side like he had expected, but the one other inmate in the area is cuffed to the table, so if anyone plans on attacking, it’s probably going to be Sae. Her arms are crossed and her fingers drum against her arm, so he worries that she really isn’t wanting to _talk_.

He had already overestimated one person under emotional duress. He doesn’t want to do it again.

“I’m extremely angry,” comes her voice, sensing his concern. “But I know better than to do anything.”

He feels the pressure dissipate around them, then it comes back full force when the door opens and a familiar face passes the threshold.

Akechi’s eyes widen in surprise. Then comes the glare. “What are you doing here?”

He hears Sae draw in a slow breath and Ren speaks to clear the air. “I wanted to talk to you.”

“You do know you have _friends_ you can speak with.”

He reminds himself that Akechi has hurt his whole life. That all he had wanted was a place to fit in. Ren may not understand that feeling perfectly, but his first few days in Tokyo (and the few months leading to) had opened his eyes to a new side of people and life that he would never want to experience again. Or even wish upon anyone else. He had been fortunate to meet his friends right from the start. Akechi had not been so lucky. Having to grow up in a constantly changing environment all alone, Ren can only imagine.  

Which is why he is here. “I want to help you.”

Sae stumbles forward as if Ren had hit her in the stomach. Akechi’s eyes go wide again, but then he slams his hands to the table.

“You want to _help_ me?!”

Ren knows what Sae is thinking in her silence, but the nagging feeling in his gut is that Akechi is the exact type of person his team should help as a unit. His circumstances are slightly different from Ryuji and Ann’s, from Yusuke’s, Makoto’s, Futaba’s, and Haru’s, but there were similarities in all of them that he couldn’t simply ignore with Akechi.

Haru had even said something to him recently, which had been the initial prick in his heart. _“Is it bad that I understand how he feels, trying so desperately to please his father that he does anything he asks?”_

There was a line Akechi had crossed that he knew no one else would have dared, but for Ren, it only made him that much more worth saving. Explaining it isn’t easy, even to himself, but he has to try. He can accept it if Akechi turns down the offer, but he needs to be the one to extend it.

However, Ren will not smile at him, or offer any other sort of joyful expression. He’s still extremely pissed off. “I do.”

Sae pulls him to his feet by his collar. “ _This_ is why you asked me to bring you here?!”

He carefully pries her hands off his shirt. “I need you to realize what I’m doing.” He’s walking very dangerous grounds right now. “But he’s just as much a victim as he is a criminal. You make deals with some of them to catch the bigger fish, do you not?”

The instant the words come out of his mouth, she backhands him, hard. He hears Akechi snicker at him. “How _dare_ you think I’m going to cut a deal with him after the hell he put my sister through!”

So maybe bringing Sae along _wasn’t_ the smartest move to make. “Please, Sae.”

Suddenly, Akechi’s voice cuts through the staring contest. “Why are you doing this, Ren?” The question turns his and Sae’s attention back to the boy sitting across the table. “I don’t want your pity. It’s insulting, in more ways than one. But,” he stops, then continues with, “there’s that look in your eyes that tells me you actually _want_ to help. Why?”

Sae takes a step away to study his posture while he answers. His heart is hammering in his chest and Sae's glare freezes the sweat forming on his brow. He really needs to be able convince them both, but he keeps her in his sights just in case she lunges at him.

But when he addresses Akechi, he forgets all about Sae and focuses on keeping himself calm. “I want to kill you. I want to put you through the very same hell you _forced_ Makoto into. I’ve thought of nothing more than your own suffering for the past week. I spilled your blood in my nightmares, ignored your screams, your pitiful attempts for forgiveness. And even as I watched you hold her back by her hair, all I wanted to do was hurt you, to _kill_ you.”

He lets his words reach both of them before he continues. “But after facing her fears, _alone_ , terrified that she was going to die, she _begged_ me not to change. Because I know…” He chokes on his words. “I _know_ it’s the reason she loves me.” No one says anything to him, which he’s thankful for, because he has no need for their words. “So I would be asking this of you even if you had actually killed her. Because anything less would be a disgrace to her, to my friends, and the very foundation we stand on.”

He then forces a grin and hides a sense of delight when Akechi drops his eyes to the table away from him. “However, know that if you decline, I won’t ask you again. And you’ll be on your own.”

Akechi says nothing, but Ren knows he has heard him. This fact is more than enough to turn to Sae. “He can think about it and get back to me, if he chooses to do so.”

She also says nothing as he stalks past her to the door.

He hears Akechi mutter under his breath. “You really are something else.”

While he waits for the officer to let him out, he turns back to him. “I just happened to have great friends to save me. Now.” He grows anxious when Sae drops her head, turns on her heels, and comes to stand beside him. He clears his throat when she doesn’t beat the shit out of him. “Now maybe it’s time you had some friends, too.”

Akechi meets his eyes before he leaves. The teen never speaks, but he doesn't have to.

-.-.-

Makoto has very little to say to her friends, but she knows they understand.

She had been released from Takemi’s care after being stuck on fluids and medication for a day and a half. Her friends had gone on and on about a ‘Welcome Back’ party, which she had not been about to deny. They had spent the better half of the afternoon talking and laughing and cooking and well, just enjoying _life_. It had been a wonderful few hours.

Then they left her at the station in Shibuya alone with Ren.

She grows uncomfortable with him, even though she doesn’t know _why_. He told her he loved her…when she woke up…but it’s a start, right? He wouldn’t have told her that _only_ because it had been an instinctual reaction to her being alive…

“Let’s go for a walk.”

The nerves are back before she even realizes they are there. A part of her worries he’s taking her back to Leblanc, and that nothing has really changed. In his defense, it _has_ been over a week, and if she knows anything about his habits, he is probably in need of a fix. And with the huge weight that had been lifted off his shoulders (both of theirs actually), emotions are high.

She knows where _that_ leads.  

However, she’s still in a decent amount of pain and doubts she would have the energy to make it worth his while. She finds it difficult to find her voice, or the strength to say what she’s thinking. “Okay.”

He must sense her hesitation. He laughs weakly to himself before he comes to stand beside her. She thinks he can hear her erratic heartbeat. “I know what you’re thinking.”

She shakes her head, hoping that he really _doesn’t_ know what she is thinking. He only smiles at her and reaches for her hand, holding it tightly in his own. “N-no, y-you don’t…um…y-you…” After a few seconds of stuttering and fidgeting, she succumbs to her embarrassment and clamps her mouth shut.

Ren, however, finds it amusing and chuckles at her. Her face burns ten times hotter as she tries to make herself even smaller. Why is talking to him so _hard?_

“You’re so cute, Makoto.”

Hearing him say things like that only make her berate herself even more. How is her nervousness and her inability to return the compliment attractive to him at all? What did he even _love_ about her? If, of course, he had meant it…

His sigh and release of her hand makes her body go from unbearably hot to ice cold. “I’ll walk you home.”

She waits, staring at his back as he takes a few steps away from her. He’s going to turn around in her silence and apologize. He’s going to make her wish she had stayed in Takemi’s care. He’s going to break her heart into a million little pieces because _nothing has changed_.

She knows she’s taking a huge risk, and it’s likely going to backfire in her face, but she just can’t do it anymore. She needs to come clean with him. No more beating around the damn bush. “Ren, I know I’m not any good with this, but…um, I r-really do want to…I-I.” She looks down at the sidewalk as the heat takes over once again. Seriously, maybe she should find that confession she wrote and hand it to him. It would be so much easier…if more impersonal, but at least he would _know_.

“You don’t need to be so nervous.” Ren walks up to her, standing a little too close for her liking. She’s going to burn him alive, too. “Sometimes, I wish you would stop thinking so much and just say what comes to your mind.”

She does not look up at him. “I-is that how y-you do it?”

Both of his hands take each of hers. “Well, no.” She makes a face that she is glad he cannot see. “Let me ask you this: are you nervous to be around me?”

“W-what?” She lifts her head and he wears a smile on his face, but she can tell it’s forced. There's a sadness in his tone that makes her feel terrible. “I-I m-mean…”

“I’m not nervous around you.”

Her head falls to her chest out of guilt. Maybe he is too perfect for her. She’s never this nervous around anyone else. She’s never this nervous when fighting creatures in a supernatural universe that want to _kill_ her. 

“Well, I lied. There had been times when I was really nervous to be around you. But not anymore.” He drops one of her hands while the other stays locked in his grip. “So, let’s take a walk.”

The entire trek to wherever he wants to go is silent. She feels like an idiot. Why is she so nervous? The one time she finally had been able to tell him how she really felt had been when she saw her life flash before her eyes. In retrospect, it had been stupid to say. Not that she didn’t mean it (she did), but what if she had died? Where would that leave Ren? Why couldn’t she say it at a better time, with no motive other than to express her feelings?

Is this why he seems so upset? Because he had said it to her with the meaning of _life_ and she had said it to him with the meaning of _death?_ It’s a thought that brings her to a halt, and Ren’s forward momentum almost pulls her off her feet.

“Are you okay?” The worry is back in his voice, probably from her sudden stop, but a second later, his frustrated sigh makes her close her eyes and brace herself for the consequences. “At least let me walk you back home so I know that-,”

“I love you, Ren.”

Her eyes remain shut, hands tight at her side. She holds her breath because he has yet to say anything and it’s scaring her, even if she knows he’s probably happy and…

She feels his hand slide beneath her chin, and while she tries to fight him, she eventually has to face him. His smile, however, melts the tension in her heart and he leans his forehead against hers. His voice is soft as his eyes flutter shut. “Say it again.”

She knows he has heard her, and she also knows that he knows she’s on _fire_ right now. And he expects her to say it _again?_ His fingers tighten around her chin and he offers a quiet laugh before he kisses the tip of her nose. His eyes literally sparkle. “I really want to hear you say it again.”

For some strange and unknown reason, the heat in her throat, her lungs, and her soul turn into a different kind of warmth. Like the warmth that she had always felt when she had snuggled up with him as he slept. It’s not deadly, but strangely pleasant. The nervousness she often associates with her feelings for him fade away as she looks deep into his eyes.

“I love you, Ren.”

She feels extremely proud of herself when _he’s_ the one to break eye contact with her. She grows a little anxious when he looks like he’s going to cry, but he throws his arms around her before she can see any tears. The embrace, as short lived as it was, offers her time to allow her previous anxiety to change into excitement. If she would have known _this_ is how she would have felt, she would have told him she loved him months ago!

She’s given very little time to herself as Ren moves his arms to her waist and pulls her into him. She leans in with him and their lips meet for the first time since he had left her in her sister’s palace. She places her arms around his neck as one of his hands moves to the back of hers, effectively closing any distance between them. For once, she’s not thinking about why he’s kissing her, about the way his hands try and pull her closer, about what this will ultimately lead to. She _wants_ to be with him. Her senses are very much enjoying the way their lips move in sync with each other, the way their tongues fight for dominance, and the perfect smile he wears when he pulls away for a split second before leaning back in.

Probably not the best thing to be doing in public.

“Can you two please save that for private places?!”

Makoto immediately separates herself from Ren, thankful that her mind had not been _too_ clouded so she could hear the old woman’s disapproval. Her embarrassment forces her to bow repeatedly to the lady and apologize a thousand times for their actions.

“Kids these days,” is all the elder replies with as she walks away. Makoto continues to stand still, the thought of other people seeing them making-out in public almost makes her swear to never step foot outside again.

Ren only laughs beside her, which does little to make her feel better. She buries her head into his chest with enough force that he stumbles back. “C-c-could y-you _not_ l-laugh!?”

He doesn’t stop. “That was fun. We should do it again!”

Okay, maybe she could still be nervous around him. “W-what?!”

There’s a glint in his eyes that only fuels the raging fire burning in her. He really does enjoy making her blush. “Well, not here, even if I want the whole world to see how much I love you.”

Hearing the words _I love you_ from him again bring a smile to her face. He really does love her. She loves him. Everything is wonderful, and even if there is an implication she has missed, it still would not destroy this moment.

They remain in comfortable silence as they walk around the city. Out of the corner of her eye, she watches him occasionally glance at her, sometimes with a smile, but more often than not, with a sad look. A few times, his hand tightens around hers to the point where it's painful. She finally stops him at the entrance to Shibuya Station. He turns to her in confusion, but she assumes he’s trying to call it a night and wants to take her home and she doesn't want to leave him now when he's acting like he's afraid to lose her again.

“Is it okay if we keep walking around?”

Every hint of sadness fades from his features as his eyes light up so much that her face heats up again. He gives her hand a light squeeze. “I don’t want to keep you out too late. I know you’re still…”

When he looks down, she steps towards him until he lifts his head back up to meet her. “I want to spend more time with you.”

She had said it so smoothly that she actually smiles at herself. Ren’s beaming grin only makes her happier. “I would be a fool to deny anything you would ask.”

For the better half of the hour, they walk down Central Street, pausing sometimes to gaze through the windows of the shops. He laughs at her when he brings up her “stalking” episode back before they were friends. She buries her face into his arm as he continues to say things like, “I knew you loved me back then,” and “Every time I saw you, I wanted to run up to you and kiss you!” The banter only stops when they pass the alley he would tend to walk down when she had followed him around. It’s then that his expression drops from playful to troubled.

“E-everything okay?”

He perks up immediately, and it hurts because he’s putting on airs just to keep his fears hidden from her. “Everything is perfect when you’re with me.”

“But?”

He raises an eyebrow at her. “But what?”

She removes her hand from his, then grabs it again when his face falls. “Something is bothering you. D-did I say something wrong?”

“No!” His sudden reply makes her jump. “No, ah, sorry.” He rubs the back of his head. “It’s just…no, it’s nothing.”

“Ren…”

“I just got you back, Makoto, so I’m not going to ruin it.”

She’s taken back by the anger in his tone, but he takes a breath before he turns to her. “I’m sorry.” He reaches for the hand that had fallen out of his when he had snapped at her. “Let’s sit down somewhere and we can talk.”

The nerves come back and she’s suddenly regretting not having him walk her home. Has she done something in the last few hours to upset him? He had seemed so happy, or had it all been some kind of act? She may not be very good at reading people, but she would like to think that Ren had been genuinely thrilled to be with her.

Perhaps she is getting too ahead of herself. 

She follows him to the station square, where he plants himself in a somewhat isolated area by the Hachiko statue. She continues to stand, too afraid to sit down beside him. It’s late, she’s nervous again, but she’s at least grateful for the strangely quiet space he seems to have found. She doesn’t want to have any sort of argument or whatever’s about to happen in front of prying eyes.

She’s had enough of _that_ for one day.

“Will you sit down, please?”

The fact he speaks without looking at her concerns her, but she nods and does what he asks. His hands find both of hers the next second and he looks to be in so much pain that it hurts. “Have I done something to upset you?” is her only choice of words. His head falls to her shoulder as if to hide his expression, and that only causes her anxiety to grow.

“I thought I lost you, that I was never going to have the chance to tell you how much I loved you.”

His voice is quiet, but his words are clear. She should have told him she loved him when she had realized it. Not only did she probably confuse him and hurt him in the weeks leading up to her capture, but on top of that, she had waited until the wrong time to tell him. How many hours did he spend agonizing over how he would never have a chance to tell her? She had been the one to get her true feelings off her chest, because she thought she was going to die, and she realizes it may have been a terribly selfish thing to do.

“I didn’t mean to say it when I did. It was incredibly stupid and selfish of me. I’m so sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry about,” he says as he wraps his arms around her. “It should never have had to come to that. I should have told you a long time ago, back when you stayed with me that first night.” She tries to form some kind of rebuttal, but he cuts her off. “I admit that I let things get out of control that night, but I was so in love with you and I couldn’t stop. I woke up that morning thinking I was in some sort of dream, because I’ve never been so happy in my life.”

His arms tighten around her and she braces herself for what’s coming. “I should have expected your reaction. What I did was uncalled for, even if a part of me had hoped you would have been just as happy as I was. So I apologized, because your friendship was too important to me.”

He lifts his head from her shoulders and she turns away from him, terrified he is going to see her tears. “Makoto.” His tone forces her to look back at him. “I don’t regret anything, except lying to you about how I felt. I loved every night that you stayed with me.”

“Then why did you keep apologizing to me?” It had been a question that had always haunted her, and seeing how they are  _finally_ coming clean with each other, she wants an answer.

He seems to struggle with one, but then he softly smiles at her. “Because you deserved better from me. You deserved to know how I felt about you, and I failed every single time.” One of his hands comes to rest on her face as his thumb brushes away a few escaping tears. “But I need to ask one more time: will you forgive me? Because from here on out, I promise you, I’ll work as hard as I can to try and be the person you deserve in your life.”

A part of her had always thought that he had been apologetic to mask his own broken heart, but it makes her feel that much worse knowing that he had felt like he had been anything less than perfect. _She_ had been the one to freak out, to push him away, to give him mixed signals when he had tried on some level to start something with her. However, she feels _so much better_ getting weeks of pent up emotions, questions, and doubts off her chest.

“T-then will you forgive me, too?”

He smiles. She smiles. All is fine once again. “I will.”

He kisses her forehead and she blushes. She needs to work on that, or he’s going to have far too much fun teasing her. “T-then I’ll do my best to try and be the person you deserve.”

“You don’t need to try.” He kisses her. “You’re already perfect.”

She resigns herself to a lifetime of teasing.     

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really wish I could see some of your faces after you read this chapter. Because no...I could never kill Makoto. It was never my intention. I'm glad it scared the hell out of everyone though! I had planned on her return to consciousness be in the last chapter, but I'm a horrible human and wanted to see how angry I could make you all. 
> 
> The first and last sections (the last one I literally changed a day ago) were supposed to be in the last chapter, and that was going to be the official end of the story. But after writing Akechi, I wanted to see how I could tie him in. With that said, know that from here on out, everything will kind of be experimental for my writing (and a challenge to make sure I finish the story...). I don't expect anyone to really keep up with this, but if you do, I hope to make it worth your time. It's just more something fun and challenging to do while I wait for the end of the world.
> 
> There probably won't be an update for the rest of the year ( 0.0 ) and I really need to bring this to a close before I post what I have written. 
> 
> Thank you all so much for forgiving me (hopefully) and staying with this story! It means a lot, especially if you are reading this line right now.
> 
> Merry Christmas and have a wonderful New Year!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, after a week off work for the holidays, it's time to return to adult life. So instead of trying (and failing) to earn a perfect score on Ken's impossible dance song on hard mode, I decided to come back to this.
> 
> This chapter was hard as fuck to write. I enjoyed it though, but I've been mass editing it for days on end. I don't write fluff very well, so I may have fallen short in some parts here. But, this is all a personal challenge, so let's see how it works out.
> 
> Enjoy!

While Ren wants more than anything to have Makoto stay with him that night, he walks her home instead. It’s been a hell of few days, _weeks_ really, and he believes returning her to her place is for the best. Not that he would do anything other than snuggle and kiss her and be visibly _happy_ she’s come back to him if he would have taken her to Leblanc, but she needs her rest. And he doubts she would be very comfortable on his bed, emotionally and physically. 

He sees her to the front of her apartment, gently kisses the side of her head, then turns to walk away after whispering a goodbye.

He comes to a stop when she grabs his hand. “I…I, um…” He tenses at the contact, but she never releases his hand. “I-I want you to stay.”

Uh-oh.

Not only does he think it’s a bad idea, given how much he loves her and how much she’s _not_ in the best shape to _show_ her that, but he’s never been inside her place before. And he’s very sure Sae is still fuming. If she were to see him with her little sister, he’s positive the implication of him in the apartment this late in the night would send Sae into another frenzy.

He only just got Makoto back in his life. He’d like to see a little bit more of that future with her before Sae kills him.

“I would love to stay with you, Makoto, but…”

“I want to wake up next to you.”

She plucks his heartstrings and his exhale is a laugh. “You’re so cute.”

She tugs on his hand with enough force that he nearly collides into her. “Please?”

He has yet to tell her of his conversation with her sister and Akechi, and he really doesn’t want to bring that up now. Not when she’s looking at him like he’s the only thing in the world and _he loves her so much!_

“Okay.”

Her smile melts the tension around his heart and he feels like he stumbles through the door. However, he’s immediately on high alert after passing the threshold. Where’s Sae? Is she here? Is someone else here? Does he need permission to walk on the floor? Is it okay for him to breathe? What rules does he need to obey? _Can_ he even sleep next to Makoto without Sae walking in and _murdering_ him in his sleep?

Her soft laughter grabs his attention. “It’s okay, Ren.” She takes his other hand. “But…if you’re uncomfortable, I can walk you back-,”

“I’m not uncomfortable,” he quickly replies. “I’m just curious and don’t want to, I guess, give the wrong impression.” He clears his throat as his eyes scan the room around him. “This _is_ the first time I’ve been inside your place…”

Her arms move around his waist and he’s pretty sure he’s done for. Her voice echoes in his chest from where her head rests against him. “I mean, I don’t want to _do_ anything, but just…have you next to me. Like I always want to.”

He’s been waiting _so long_ to hear this, to hear her say she _wants_ to be with him. He places his hands on her hips and smiles down at her. He says nothing, because he can’t find any words to express how he’s feeling, wrapped in her arms and she’s _alive_ and she _loves_ him.

“So, can I ask you a question?” Ren simply nods his reply, then she steps out of his arms. She gives him a look he recognizes as intrigue. “How did you manage to find me?”

Her question catches him off-balance. He lets out a sigh, the change in topic altering the mood in the room. He walks to sit himself on the couch and she follows his actions. He takes a deep breath, exhales, then speaks to her. “It was hard, and honestly, a stupid mistake on my end.”

Makoto says nothing at first, but then he feels her hand land on top of his. “You saved my life, Ren.” She smiles at him and he can’t help but smile back. “I’m just curious is all. You don’t have to if it’s too hard on you.”

Even though he really doesn’t want to relive the events, he also feels like he owes her an explanation. “I had no idea where you were, but I was hoping that by following Akechi around, he would lead us to you.” His eyes fall from hers and he stares at the ground. “I had Futaba insert a tracking device in Morgana’s collar so he could follow him around. Usually, I would send him out after school. But then,” he pauses to take a deep breath, the memory still too fresh in his mind. “Then your sister told me that he had a gun, and I panicked. I told Morgana to keep him in his sight at all times, which is how we were able to find where you were when he made that….” He breaths in a shaky breath. “When he made that phone call.”

Makoto squeezes his hand and it helps to calm him down. “I pushed him too far,” he continues quietly. “And had it not been for whatever trust he had in your sister, I never would have known about his gun, and he very easily could have killed you.”

He pauses to let his own words sink in. He feels her stirring beside him, but he’s too nervous to look up. The thought that she could have been killed if something went wrong still chills him to the bone. “I wanted to put enough pressure on him to break him. By doing so, I thought he would tell me to meet with him and we could negotiate your release. When Sae mentioned the gun, I thought I should at least talk to Iwai to swap it out for a model, just in case.” He releases his breath and finds the courage to lift his eyes to look over at her. “Thanks to your sister, she managed to switch them out to where he only shot you with an airsoft gun.” He braves looking at the injury to her head. “I know it hurt, but he told me that the pellet wouldn’t kill you, even at point-blank range.”

It had been a risk, but one he had been thankful he had taken. Or she really would have been killed. The way her eyes are set proves to him that she agrees with him.

“And I guess I underestimated Akechi’s hatred for me. I thought by going after Shido and naming him a target that he would have wanted to talk instead of act the way he did. I want to tell you I’m sorry, I really do,” he manages to choke out as he holds her eyes once again. “But another day, and we may have been too late. And we had nothing. _Nothing_. I’m sorry I had to put you through something like that, but it led us to you, and because of that-,”

“It’s okay, Ren.” She takes his hand in both of hers. “I wish I could tell you how much it means to me that you did all of this for me. So…” She leans into him and he can’t help but wrap his arms around her. “Thank you.” Her voice cracks and he tightens his hold. “Thank you.”

The silence that follows is welcoming. He would usually drown in it, his mind always struggling to find the right words to say to her. But it’s different now. He simply continues to hold her and comfort her without speaking. He has said enough, hopefully, and now he just wants her to know that he’s _there_. 

After several minutes of silence, her voice reaches his ears. “Can…Can I ask you something else?”

He whispers, “Of course,” while she separates herself from his grasp. She looks at him for a second, then drops her head as she tries to hide the precious blush that comes to her face. He tilts her head back so he can see it (it’s probably the cutest thing he will ever see in his life) and he repeats himself. “Ask me anything you want.”

He knows she’s always thinking of better ways to say what she’s thinking, but sometimes he wishes she would _stop thinking_ and just say what comes to her mind. He must have made a face, or he actually said that out loud, because the next thing she says takes the wind out of him.

“Will you kiss me?”

He laughs at the absurdity of her question because she should never have to _ask._ He leans in and covers her lips with his own before she takes his laughter the wrong way. He tries to contain it, to remind himself that she’s hurt and in some amount of pain, and that he won’t be able to stop if he doesn’t stop it _now_. But she’s warm, she’s alive, and she _loves_ him. He lifts his hands to cradle her face and he pulls away from her, resting his forehead against hers.

“I’m sorry you felt so compelled to ask.” His tone is light and playful, but the second she closes the distance between them, he knows it’s over. He smiles into their kiss and her arms wrap around his neck to pull him closer to her. The action causes him to topple over and he lands on top of her. He breaks the kiss, checking her to make sure he did not agitate any injury, but she simply laughs at him.

It’s the most amazing sound his ears will ever hear.

“You’re beautiful, you know that?” Her blush returns and his lips connect with hers once more. As he tries to outmatch her cadence, he feels her hands work their way to his waist. She can easily slip her hands under his jacket and she tugs his shirt out from his pants. His breath hitches in his throat as her fingers begin their dance on the skin by his hips, then up over his stomach, his chest, until she rests her hands on his shoulders. But before she has a chance to pull his shirt over his head, he stops her. And while it’s extremely difficult to hold her back, it’s not why he’s agreed to stay.

But _gods_ does he want this. It would finally mean something to them both. However, they are moving too fast, and he worries that they will fall victim to the cycle again. So for one night, he just wants to hold her, to be next to her, to wake up with her without needing the undertones of sex to keep her there. 

He half expects her to grow angry with him like she did the last time he had tried to stop her, but he gets quite the opposite reaction. “I know you’re scared to hurt me. But…I just want to show you that I love you, because I’m…um…n-not good with words.”

He pulls her into his lap as he sits up on the couch and leans in to kiss the crown of her head. “How about we both get a great night’s sleep for once? Just having you beside me is all I need for the night.” He brushes some hair behind her ear. “And I know you’re tired, too.” He smiles when he feels her nod against him. “But I’ll be sure to kiss you a few more times from here until we get to your room, okay?”

That prompts a giggle from her. “Okay.”

“And maybe a few more times after that.” He enunciates his statement with a kiss to the top of her head. “And then once before you fall asleep.” He does it again. “And you’ll _definitely_ get one when you wake up.”

He doesn’t need to look at her to know she’s blushing. “S-stop it.”

He drops his lips to her ear. “Then I’ll try and beat that record every day until there never comes a time I’m _not_ kissing you.” Yep, his chest is much warmer than it was a minute ago. “Can I start counting now?”

She leans back and he’s stricken again with how _beautiful_ she is. “…Yes.”

He does, but by the time he kisses her goodnight, he’s already lost count.

-.-.-

There had been no nightmares, no blood, no monsters, and no trip to the Velvet Room. He actually feels like he’s slept for several days rather than seven hours, according to the alarm clock on the nightstand.

Makoto is still asleep, and he plans to keep it that way for as long as he can. He can’t help but shift himself so her back is against his chest. While they really did nothing more than kiss and offer occasional touches that may have been deemed “inappropriate,” she did manage to convince him to lose his shirt. _You’ll be more comfortable_ had been her excuse, but he made sure to enjoy the process of her eyes soaking in his exposed skin for as long as he possibly could.

She had fallen asleep on top of him, her hand over his heart. The body heat had eventually forced the two of them apart, but now that he’s awake, he yearns for that contact once more.

He feels her stirring. He goes still in hopes that he’s not waking her up, but she turns over in the bed and he finds himself acting as a pillow for her to sleep on. Her eyes remain closed, so he proceeds to slowly slide an arm under her so he can hold her and never worry about her breaking away from him. His head leans against hers and his free hand comes to rest on top of hers, occasionally tracing random patterns with his fingertips onto her skin.

The warmth and the comfort of being next to her lulls him into a light sleep. Everything is peaceful. There’s very little noise around him except the soft breathing from Makoto and himself. Life is perfect. Life is beautiful. Everything is as it should be. Now, tomorrow, and well into his — no — _their_ future. The devil himself couldn’t even show up and disturb his bright and cheerful perspective.

He didn’t expect the devil to _actually_ show up.

“Makoto, are you-,”

 _Fuck_.

Ren immediately jumps out of the bed, words stumbling from his mouth before he even realizes he’s saying them. “It’s not what it looks like!”

He’s dead before Sae even speaks. “Oh, it’s _exactly_ what it looks like!”

_Shit, shit, shit!_

“Look,” he says as his hands shoot up in a defensive reflex. “I told you I loved her. And I meant it. She asked me to stay, and I know she doesn’t like to be alone, so-,”

“So you take _advantage_ of the situation…of her _condition_ to get what _you_ want?!”

Sae’s anger is literally causing him to falter. “N-no! I-I would n-never do that!”

“First, you strike a deal with Akechi. Now, you’re making a move on my _sister?!_ ”

How is he still breathing? “I-I didn’t-,”

She literally grabs him by the wrist and all but drags him out of the room. Before he knows it, she’s thrown him against a door down the hall and she’s screaming in his face. “You don’t _love_ her! You love what she can _give_ you! I may have been foolish enough to believe you when you first said that to me, but after _everything_ she’s been through…”

He winces in pain as her nails dig into his shoulder. (He still doesn’t regret taking off his shirt, though.) He allows her to continue yelling at him, because she has suffered too, and maybe taking everything out on him would be helpful.

“She was almost _killed_ , and the second she’s off bed rest, you…you-,”

“It’s okay, Sis.”

Ren feels Sae’s nails scrape across his flesh, and he’s pretty sure she draws blood. Sae turns to where Makoto has come out of the room, but the younger’s expression is not one Ren wants to see.

She’s upset, she’s hurting, and she’s scared. All of the same feelings she would always show when she would wake up with him.

And here he had thought he could have changed that.

The impact of his thought causes him to throw his head back against the wall and grind his teeth. Why? Why can’t he offer her one morning without tears, without anger, without…

“Ren and I have actually been…sleeping together for several weeks.”

Just as quickly as the devil had appeared, the flames of hell swallow him up and engulf him. He can literally _hear_ Sae’s jaw hit the floor. If she’s given the chance to recover, he’s dead. He knows it. He’s going to have to go into witness protection at this point…

“But I’m just as much to blame as he is. So if you’re going to yell at him, I expect you to say the words to me as well.”

Makoto’s voice holds some degree of authority, like _she’s_ the big sister in the family. But he really doesn’t want to see Sae and Makoto’s relationship fall apart again just when it was put back together. Over him, nonetheless.

“You know I don’t approve of this, Makoto.” Sae’s tone holds much the same command as Makoto’s. Ren finds the courage to scan both of their faces, and he can easily see that they _are_ sisters.

That fact does little to calm his nerves.

“I don’t need you to approve, Sis.”

He really needs to say something to stop this before they both end up hurting each other.

“He’s using you.”

“I’ve used him before, too.”

“He’s taking advantage of you because of your condition!”

“I was the one who asked him to stay.”

“He should have said no!”

“He _tried_ to leave, but I didn’t want to be alone!”

Ren takes one step forward to simmer the argument, but Sae holds out her arm to stop him. “Did he tell you he wants to make a deal with Akechi?!”

Ren feels the world around him come to a blinding halt. Makoto’s eyes grow wide in shock, but Sae gives her little time to absorb her words before she pounces again. “He asked me to take him to see Akechi so he could try to _help_ him!” Sae’s hardened eyes focus on him. “After the hell that boy put you through, _he_ wants to treat Akechi like a damn _victim!”_

Ren struggles to find the heart to look over at Makoto. She’s still in some state of shock, but the ground crumbles beneath him when her eyes meet his. She opens her mouth to say something, but no words come out. It tears him apart even more and his shame forces him to look away. The silence in the hallway makes it difficult to pull air into his lungs.

“It’s okay, Ren.” He faces Makoto again when her voice reaches his ears. Through the tears lining his eyes, he can see her smile and it lights up his heart. “You really are a great person.”

While he lets her words sink in, Sae’s indignation only grows stronger. “A great person?” She scoffs. “He wants to help a _criminal_ who could have _killed_ you! How is this not bothering you?!”   

Makoto’s eyes are set as she says, “His heart is much bigger than mine and yours. When he sees someone struggling, he wants to help. What’s wrong with that?”

Sae literally comes undone. “What’s _wrong_ with that?! He’s willing to forgive someone who hurt you! He should be furious!”

Makoto chuckles, which only adds fuel to the inferno that is Sae. Ren is sure the entire complex is going to burn to the ground. “I think you’re furious enough for all of us.”

Sae’s voice is quiet, even if her tone is sharp and deadly. “If he can sink so low as to help out someone who could have killed you, then how do you know he’s not going to toss you out when he grows tired of sleeping with you?”

Ren notices the flash of anger in Makoto’s eyes. Her response is immediate. “He _loves_ me!” Deep down, a part of him is thrilled that she has come to his defense. He only wishes it had been under different circumstances, and with someone other than her sister.

He tries to take another step to stop the shouting, but Sae’s extended arm keeps him from succeeding. “He doesn’t love you anymore than-,”

“He loves me more than _you_ do!”

The minute Makoto realizes what she has said, her hands fly to cover her mouth. Ren finally pushes Sae’s arm out of the way to stand between the two of them, even if the crushing admission has ended the argument all its own.

He isn’t prepared for Sae to speak. He actually has to look at her to visibly see the words leave her lips. She’s clearly devastated over her sister’s remark. “Makoto…I-,”

“I-I didn’t mean it!” Makoto rushes past Ren and throws her arms around her sister. Ren says nothing as both sisters fall to their knees and cry. He turns and heads back into the bedroom to gather his things. He slips his shirt over his head, then zips up his jacket before grabbing the rest of his things as he heads for the door.

He needs to leave. He’s getting too worked up and he has no right to.

He stops once to try and tell them that he is leaving, but his throat is too tight. He curses under his breath instead. Makoto lifts her head from her sister’s shoulder as he does, but he never makes eye contact with her. He throws his shoes on and grabs the door handle.

Makoto tells him to stop.

He doesn’t, and he leaves without another word.

-.-.-

He’s not afraid to die, or to go to jail, or _kidnap_ and try to _kill_ someone, but he sure as hell is afraid of what he is feeling now.

Akechi thinks Ren is bluffing. That Makoto is actually dead, and the boy is planning to put him in some dark room and put a bullet in _his_ head. He’s okay with that. But he’s not okay with idea of Ren really desiring to strike up a friendship with him.

He wants to throw up. He wants to be angry. He wants to put a bullet through Ren’s head like he had originally intended.

But the longer he stews over how much he _hates_ him, the more Akechi wants to actually believe in him.

Ren really wants to be his friend. After all of the terrible things he had planned, that stupid kid still wants to help. Maybe Ren had been correct; Akechi didn’t really have a chance to make friends before he had been shipped off to somewhere new. The only real contacts in his life had used him for their own personal gain. But he never cared, so long as his own personal agenda had been fulfilled.

Then he met Ren. He had been different, so outspoken but confident in his words and beliefs. Ren had also outsmarted him, _twice_. He had been some sort of constant source of strength for him, even if he didn’t officially realize it until the game was over and he had been tossed in jail. The question he keeps pushing out of his mind keeps coming back, each time with more vengeance.

_Can I really be his friend?_

The door to his cell opens and an officer stands in front of him, crossing his arms and almost huffing out his statement. “You’re free to go.”

 _That_ is unexpected.

But not unwelcome.

He has business to attend to.

Akechi steps out and allows the guard to lead him to the entrance of the prison. When he is given his personal affects, he smiles politely at the officer. “Would you mind telling me what’s going on?”

The man shrugs his shoulders. “I haven’t a clue. But through some weird twist of fate, you’re a free man. No formal charges are being brought against you anymore.” He then rubs his chin. “Though I never did understand why you were locked up in the first place. You were always such a good kid, very helpful to the police force.”

He clenches his hands tightly at the praise. “Well then, I’m sure someone’s cleared up this little misunderstanding.”

“Keep your spirits up, Akechi-kun.”

He offers a nod and a smile before he steps out into the world once more. He doesn’t have a clue as to what’s happening, but if he’s to wager a guess, Ren has something to do with it. The fact he isn’t there to greet him once he is released, however, makes him wonder. Plus, he knows better than to believe that Sae would ever let him breathe the polluted Tokyo air until he was sentenced to death and it was the last thing he would ask for. He may not have known Ren as well as he had wanted, but he _knows_ Sae.

So if Ren had not been the reason for his release, who else…

“You’ve gotten yourself into quite a mess, kid.”

Akechi’s blood turns cold at the tone in the man’s voice. Slowly, he comes to face the nation’s most prominent politician.

“Shido-san, what a pleasant surprise.”

Shido _never_ meets with him unless it’s back in the safety of his own office or via a phone call. The chilling fact that he is here when he walks out of the police station, _in public_ , throws his mind into all sorts of chaos. He finds it extremely difficult to keep his façade friendly when the man he wants to destroy is standing beside him for no reason at all.

“To what do I owe this pleasure?” Akechi’s tone is at least polite and cordial, even if his eyes have narrowed at the man. There is _no way_ Shido is here just to see him…

Something is wrong.

"Let's go for a ride."

Akechi's eyes narrow again at his tone, but says nothing as he follows his elder to a nearby parked car. Bodyguards surround the vehicle, complete with tinted windows and everything else Shido needs to stay inconspicuous, yet luxurious. It makes him sick to his stomach, but he fights back the desire to throw up all over his pristine leather seats and plush carpeting as one of the suited men opens the door for him to enter. He slides to the opposite end to allow Shido room to sit beside him.

"So," Akechi starts, hoping the smile on his face irritates his old man. "Where are you taking me?" When Shido only grunts in response, he adds, "Taking me out for a celebration party? That's really kind of-,"

"Shut the fuck up, kid."

Akechi quiets, but the smile remains on his face. He waits ever so patiently for Shido to speak. He only does so when the driver steps into the car. "I'm tired of covering for your ass." Shido turns and glares at him. "I asked you to take out those Phantom Thieves, yet you fail me, again!"

Akechi only shrugs. "I tried to have a little fun."

He's pretty sure Shido would backhand him if they were anywhere else but side by side in a car. Shido turns towards him in a fury instead. "Listen to me, you little shit. I'm done with your games. You take care of them by the end of the week, or you're going to regret it." He folds his arms across his chest and turns to look out the window. "I can't have this shit get in the way of my campaign."

Akechi grinds his teeth to the point it hurts. "And how would I regret it, Shido-san? You going to fire me? I wasn’t aware you had another hit-man who could enter the Metaverse." He allows himself a quiet, mocking laugh. “He must not be very good if he hasn’t taken out _one_ person yet.”

Shido cackles before he responds to him. "You were arrested in your mother's house. Interesting place to ‘have your fun,’ huh?" Akechi says nothing, but his fists clench tightly at his side. It had been a mistake on his end to march over and threaten to kill Makoto. He had never intended to hurt her. All he had wanted was to watch Ren lose his mind so he could add the final nail in his coffin. He had plans to release the girl once he knew Ren had lost the game, but…

He had snapped. He hadn’t thought of anything but getting even with Ren for threatening his only purpose in life. The boy had been so pathetic and pleading as he had held Makoto at gunpoint, but it had changed when the darkness appeared in Ren’s eyes. He still remembers his tone, his words, his threat, and he had actually believed he had pushed him over the edge. And he had relished in that pride, knowing that he could instill such _rage_ in him, and it had ultimately caused him to pull the trigger.

It had been stupid. He had not planned for any deaths except for Ren’s. Sure his gun had been loaded (or so he had thought), but he had brought it as a means of striking fear in everyone else, as well as to ensure his own escape. But after hearing Makoto successfully pull Ren from his anger, Akechi had been more than happy to test the waters, to test Ren and every fiber of his being. He just never thought about the consequences until it had been too late to take it back. 

Everything after the shot had been a blur. Regardless, as he now sits with his motives out in the open for the bastard beside him to see, he tells himself it will not happen again. His emotions will not get the best of him. No more rash judgments. No more drowning in anger. Ren had only won this little game because he had kept a level head when he needed to.

Well, Akechi could do the same.

"You don't think I know what you're planning?” Shido’s laugh brings him back to attention. “You not only failed to do your job, you opened my eyes to my misplaced trust in you." Shido laughs madly, then says, "This is your last chance. You fuck this up now, and you're _dead_. And then you'll never be anything more than a whore's child." 

Akechi bites his tongue and cracks his neck to stop himself from saying anything. Shido’s insult pulls him out of the fog and his mind is made up. He will see to Shido's last breath, even if it's the last thing he does. He _will_ have his vengeance. He will continue to play Shido, to play Ren, to play _anyone_ he can to see it through.

And he knows just where to start. 

"I understand," he barely manages to spit out. Shido eyes him for a moment, then smirks at him.

"Good. That's what a good son does."  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope Sae doesn't come off as too angry, but I told myself she's extremely protective right now, so it's okay. Writing Akechi's part was so hard I almost took it out, but since he's an important character, I needed him to be in the spotlight while I let everyone grow frustrated with me for not keeping Ren and Makoto out of drama. 
> 
> Also, a big shout out to anyone who figured out my little plot. ThereThereBearBears hit it right on the head. The discussion with Iwai was actually a scene I had written, but then decided to take it out and let everyone (hopefully) think that I killed off Makoto. I have to say, the responses made me very pleased, even if it was for sadistic reasons. 
> 
> Here's to another year of creativity, drama, and failing to find motivation to write anything...
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	10. Chapter 10

“Um…how about…ugh, I got nothin’.”

It’s getting late, and the team had been trying to find Shido’s last keyword to enter the Metaverse for hours. After saying almost every noun known to man, they had come up empty. It is frustrating to have to call it a night, but the longer they stand across from the Diet building, the more eyes keep wandering to them. They are tired, aggravated, and now drawing unnecessary attention.

Surprisingly, it’s Makoto that has to make the official call. “Let’s call it a day.” The others sigh and grunt, but each agree that it’s late and they need to split up for the night. “We can try on our own time over night and in the morning. Although, it would be wise not to stay up too late.”

Futaba is the only one who flashes a greedy smile. “I can stay up all night because _I_ am that good!”

“Sure, sure,” is Ryuji’s response. “Better come up with the word then.”

Futaba chuckles and tosses her phone around in her hands. “I’ve totally got this.” She follows behind Ann and Haru as all three continue to discuss the topic on their way to the station. Once out of earshot, Ryuji turns to Yusuke with a grin.

“Betcha 500 yen that she comes up emptyhanded.”

Makoto smiles to herself at Yusuke’s reaction, wondering if the young boy even _has_ 500 yen. The artist folds his arms over his chest, then returns Ryuji’s smirk with one of his own. “I accept your challenge.” The two of them follow after the girls while bickering over the best way to spend the said reward money. She is about to do the same until she turns to bid goodnight to Ren. 

He’s still leaning up against the tree he had been attached to during the day. He has a strong grip on his phone and the scowl on his face worries her. He may not be saying anything into his phone, but she is certain the app is still open, as if hoping his thoughts can reach it so he doesn’t have to speak.

He’s upset, and she knows he has every right to be. Shido is the man who had put him in jail, thrown him out of his home, and slapped him with a criminal record. All because he had been trying to help. She may not know how he is feeling exactly, but she also feels she can’t walk away from him. She approaches him slowly, though his demeanor never changes.

“Ren, we should probably head home for the day.” Nothing. She tries again. “It’s late. We can try again tomorrow when we meet up.”

His fingers tighten slightly around his phone and she takes a step back because she fears she’s upset him more. He still says nothing to her, nor does he look up from his phone. Morgana pops out from the bag and places his paws on his shoulder.

“She’s right. Our brains are fried right now. We should rest and try again tomorrow.”

Ren deeply exhales and she watches his shoulders drop, nearly forcing Morgana onto the ground over him. He remains quiet, never meets her eyes, then stands up straight and removes himself from the tree. He keeps his eyes on the ground as he walks past her, which causes her to fumble for something to say to him. He’s upset, he wants answers and probably some sense of justice, but he is being oddly cold about it.

“We’ll find something soon, Ren,” she manages to say. He fails to stop walking away from her, so she jogs up to him to come stand by his side. “Everything is going to work out. I promise.”

“Nothing ever works out.”

His quiet voice but sharp tone cause her to stop in her tracks. He keeps on walking, oblivious to the fact she is no longer beside him. Morgana reappears from the bag over Ren’s shoulder and looks back at her. His eyes seem to tell her he’s sorry for the teen’s comment, that he’s very upset at the moment, that he needs some sleep and then he will be back to normal.

Whether or not Morgana knows it, but Ren had been acting like this for a few days. They only found out about Shido and his influence in Ren’s life the day before. Something in the back of her mind keeps telling her that Shido had very little to do with his behavior. That it had to do with something she had said to him, or did to him…

It hits her then when his change had occurred. She shakes off the numbness crawling into her heart and grabs Ren’s wrist before he enters the station. She feels some amount of satisfaction when he trips over his feet as he turns and his opposite hand finds its way onto her shoulder for support.

“If you’re upset with me, just tell me.” She realizes it’s very arrogant of her to say, so she releases his wrist and steps out of his reach. “I-I mean, I-I’m sorry. I know this situation with Shido is bothering you.” She’s never one to curse under her breath, but she does now. She’s never going to be a smooth talker like he is, or even a smooth talker in general. The few times she states her mind without filtering her words, she regrets them. Just like she has now.

But she knows he’s upset with her. Or her sister. Or both of them. Because he has barely said a word to her since he had stormed out of their apartment the last time he stayed with her. She never knew why he left that day, but she had to assume her sister’s words hurt him on some level. Or maybe it had been her own admission about their past to Sae that had left him stunned and angry.

However, she still loves him and wants to make things right. “Um, is it okay for me to come home with you?” When he looks into her eyes, she blushes deeply and turns her head. “I-I m-mean, um, I-I want to w-wake up next to you again.”

She makes a move to grab his hand and her heart drops when he pulls away. He shoves his hands into his pockets and heads into the station without another word. Unfortunately for him, this only frustrates her. She blocks his entrance by coming to stand in front of him, her arms folding across her chest in defiance.

“I want you to talk to me. I don’t care about what, but it’s not fair that you’re playing the silent game right now.” She prepares for a counterattack, with words or actions, but he simply stands in front of her without moving. His head falls to his chest and since she can’t look into his eyes, she has a hard time trying to guess what he is thinking.

In his silence and stillness, she takes a step into him until they are inches apart. It causes him to raise his head and their eyes lock for a split second. She takes advantage of the opportunity and forces the question out of her mouth. “Do you still love me?”

His hands immediately grab at his hair and she can’t tell if he’s angry or hurt, or both. She’s about to ask point-blank when he speaks. “I do.” While she’s grateful to hear it, she wishes she could believe it. “I do love you, Makoto. But…”

He fails to continue after he trails off and her heart drops in her chest. “…But what?”

“But,” he whispers as he throws his hands back into his pockets. “But I don’t think — no — I _know_ I’m not good enough for you.”

Her jaw opens and her breath comes out of her lungs in a mad rush. She wants to tell him he’s wrong, that she loves him very much, but his admission causes her words to stay in her throat. Thankfully, he notices and reiterates his statement.

“It’s just that, any time that I’m with you, I’m always so happy, and you’re always so… _miserable_.” He holds up his hand to silence her retort. “I finally thought that after telling you how I felt all that time, that everything would change. You wouldn’t cry. You wouldn’t hurt. You’d be _happy_. But nothing has changed. I made you cry again. I hurt you again. I _failed_ to be the person you very much deserve in your life.”

Despite her best efforts not to, her hand comes flying through the air and across his face. The sound of the contact echoes loudly in her own ears, but she does not feel bad. “How can you say that to me?” He naturally raises one of his hands to cover the injury, but his eyes never meet hers. “Look at me, Ren.”

It takes some time, and some more demanding, but he finally looks at her. “I don’t want you to _ever_ say that to me again.”

“Why?” His reply is quick, but his voice is weak. “All I’m ever going to do is hurt you.”

She takes a deep breath before responding. “I may not be an expert in the field of relationships, nor am I good with voicing my feelings, but I _know_ you’re never going to hurt me.”

“I already have,” is his immediate remark. His voice becomes increasingly louder with every word. “Every night we’ve been together, I make you cry! Nothing is going to change!”

“I made you cry, too, Ren. Worse than that,” she says as she quickly snatches one of his hands. “I’m making you feel like you don’t deserve to be with me.” When his words catch in his throat, she continues. “You kept me from being alone all of those night. You gave me a sense of belonging when I thought I was never going to find one. You fought through your own nightmares to find the courage to _save_ me.” She steps into him and places her head on his chest. “So please, stop saying you’re anything less than the perfect and sweet and adorable man that you are.”

He hesitates for a second, then she can feel the walls crumble around him and his arms encircle her and presses her against him tightly. He buries his face into her hair and with every deep breath he takes, the harder it becomes for her not to cry.

“Come stay with me tonight,” he whispers once his breathing returns to normal. “I want more than anything to see your smile when I wake up.”

She rubs her face into his shirt to help wipe away the few tears that had escaped before she pulls back in his arms. “I’d like that.”

He lifts his hand to cradle her face, his thumb working to dry her cheeks. “I don’t know what I did right to be able to be with someone as amazing as you.”

She smiles, leans into his palm, and simply enjoys the moment.

-.-.-

When he wakes up in the morning, Ren has to take his own pulse to confirm he’s still alive. Because he’s fairly sure he’s died and gone to heaven. Makoto is at his side, facing him, and still asleep. She appears to be quite peaceful. He had thought that given her traumatic ordeal, she would be having some nightmares and the like. But as he reaches out to brush some hair off her face, his heart bursts with happiness because she’s alive and well and _with him_.

He wants to wrap his arms around her and pull her to him, but he knows it will disturb her sleep. He carefully moves off the bed so not to wake her, and when he does so successfully, he leans down to place a kiss gentle enough not to bother her to the crown of her head. He watches her for a few seconds more, then realizes he’s probably being creepy and proceeds to plan out the day.     

There’s no school, but they really need to have a meeting to figure out a way to enter Shido’s palace. As much as Ren hates to admit it, he wants to change Shido’s heart for more than proving his worth to Akechi. This is personal. And he knows he shouldn’t push the team to hurry for his own resolution, but they all had seemed eager enough to help. However, being the only one among them with a connection to their target, he feels it’s his responsibility to find that last keyword.

He decides that while Makoto catches up on her sleep, he will rack his brain for ideas with the help of some curry and coffee. He walks down to the ground floor to find Sojiro working on his first brew of the day.

He looks up when Ren comes down the stairs. The smile on his face makes his skin burn ever so lightly. “Good morning.”

Ren simply smiles in return, afraid to try and speak in case Sojiro uses his shyness against him. The older man laughs, places a cup of freshly made coffee in front of him, then heads into the kitchen to stir the pot on the stove.

“Since when did you two start officially dating?”

Ren chokes on his drink, but he quickly returns the cup to its plate and tries to act like he burns himself on the coffee. Sojiro is not buying his acting, so he sighs and avoids eye contact with the man.

“Well, _officially_ I still haven’t…uh…asked her out.”

He hears the ladle crash on the floor and he knows he’s in deep shit. “ _What?!”_ Sojiro comes flying around the corner like a fire had started in the kitchen. “You get your ass on the phone and _ask_ then!”

Suddenly, Ren feels guilty. For one thing, Sojiro had never told him he wasn’t allowed to have people stay the night, but it wasn’t his home. He shouldn’t have made assumptions. He should have asked if it had been okay. What is he going to say now if Ren tells him that he could just walk up the stairs and ask? Would he be angry? Would he get even angrier because he would realize that this wasn’t the first time Ren had her over? Secondly, he’s really never thought about asking Makoto to be his girlfriend because he had thought it was already established.

Then again, the last time he had thought that maybe they were ‘dating’, she had to come out and label things differently.

His pause does not go unnoticed. “Why the hesitation?”

“It’s just that…” His fingers steady themselves around his cup. He sighs. “I will when I see her again. I told her I love her, and she loves me, so I guess I thought that would be enough.”

Sojiro’s eyes narrow at him, testing his resolve in the matter. Ren holds up his hands defensively and adds, “I promise,” to help put the man at ease.

He says nothing to Ren as he makes his way back into the kitchen. Ren releases his breath in one long exhale before lifting his cup to his lips again. He will ask her. For sure. He’s not afraid of her rejecting him, so he really has no reason not to. But he will not wake her up just to ask. She needs rest still. So while she does that, he will focus his attention on that damn keyword.

After his cup is empty, he debates about returning up to his room and finding any and every book he has floating around for ideas. He is tired of hearing _no match found_ as it keeps repeating itself after every word he speaks into the phone. Maybe Makoto will be up by now. Should he bring her something to eat, too? Or will that trigger curiosity in Sojiro? Should he just _tell_ the man?

He slides his chair back and walks behind the bar to where said barista is rummaging through the fridge. “Can I tell you something without you getting too angry with me?”

That quickly catches Sojiro’s attention. “What’s that?”

The look from the older man nearly has him scampering away in fright, but he buckles down and says, “She’s actually here. She spent the night. She, uh…” He rubs the back of his head, his eyes falling to the floor. “She has been staying with me…for a while.”

Sojiro’s expression doesn’t change, and Ren feels himself becoming smaller and smaller by the second. He literally jumps in his skin when Sojiro laughs at him.

“Is _that_ what you wanted to tell me?” He has to wipe at his eyes before he can speak again. “Kid, I don’t care what you do here, so long as you’re not stealing anything, and I know you better than I did when you first walked in here. Plus, with your girl around, I know you’re staying out of trouble.” Sojiro closes the fridge and faces him. “I figured she had been spending the night with you after you lied to me when you said you were helping her over her cold a few weeks ago.” He chuckles to himself and Ren’s face grows warm. “You’re a horrible liar, kid. But you’ve got a good heart.”

Ren can’t help the smile that spreads across his face. It quickly fades the second Sojiro glares at him. “I don’t need to know what the two of you do, but so help the gods if you hurt her, I’ll write the nastiest, most damning report your probation officer will ever read! You’ll spend the rest of your life behind bars!” He stabs him with a finger. “You got that?”

Ren’s lips turn upwards into a classic grin as Sojiro returns to his task. “I would never force you to do that much work on my behalf.”

“Better hurry and ask her out, then.”

Ren chuckles, mutters a “thank you,” and turns away from the kitchen. He quietly walks up the stairs to his room to check on Makoto and perhaps find some books in his search for words. She’s facing away from him, but she looks to be asleep and he slowly walks up to the bed to confirm it. She seems to be cold, perhaps due to him not being next to her, so he grabs a spare blanket off the couch and throws it over her. He leans down and kisses her again as she unconsciously adjusts to the extra weight and warmth. He waits another minute or two to make sure he hasn’t woken her, but when her eyes remain closed, he grabs a few books he finds before making his way back down the stairs.

He places the three books on the edge of the counter when the doorbell chimes. Naturally, he lifts his head at the sound, but his eyes widen in shock when he meets the eyes of Goro Akechi.

Akechi points his head towards the booth he is standing by, then places his bag in the seat before sliding in himself. Ren turns to Sojiro, who comes out of the kitchen to greet his customer, but stops him from taking his order.

“I’ve got this one.”

Sojiro appears taken back, then shrugs his shoulders and mutters, “Alright then.” Ren walks up to the table Akechi sits at but does not take a seat just yet.

“I didn’t expect to see you,” Ren coughs out. This had not been how he wanted to start his day.

Akechi grins and Ren’s hands tighten at his sides. “I can assure you, I didn’t expect to be here.”

He finally sits himself down and folds his arms across his chest. “Why are you here then?”

“To be truthful, I’ve done a lot of reflecting over the past few days,” answers Akechi. “There’s not much else to do behind bars.”

 _Yeah, I know_. He has no idea why Akechi is out of prison already, but given his contacts, he’s not at all surprised. “Is there something I can help you with?” Ren has to remind himself that he had been the one who approached Akechi to offer help. While he had never received an answer before he left, Ren had hoped that he would take his offer into consideration. And here he is. Maybe he had gotten through to Akechi after all.

“First,” Akechi starts. “I would like to know how Makoto is doing.”

Ren flinches angrily and bites his lower lip to keep from snapping. The teen across from him looks downward, as if he’s truly ashamed of his actions. He’ll never believe it. Akechi had thought he held a _real_ gun in his hands. His purpose had been clear…

“She’s fine,” Ren spits between clenched teeth. Akechi keeps his eyes on the table in front of him. “Now, what brings you all the way out here?”

Akechi remains quiet for some time, then raises his head to face him. There’s something akin to regret in his eyes, but again, Ren buries the pity behind his anger. “You really are something else. After everything I put you through, you still want to try and save me.” Akechi laughs softly. “It’s a concept that I didn’t understand at the time, when you spoke with me at the prison. But, I may be coming to see what makes you so special.”

When Akechi slides out of the booth, Ren is sure he’s leaving and that he’s lost his chance to help. However, the boy comes to stand at his side and extends his hand. “I know I have to prove myself to you and to your team, but if _you_ can stand tall in the face of adversity, I want to stand taller.”

Determination flashes in Akechi’s eyes. Ren wants to trust him, to believe Akechi really wants to change, but as the teen said, he has a ways to go to prove that. But, the first step is always the hardest. And at least he’s making the attempt.

He reaches out and shakes Akechi’s hand. “You’ve got a lot of work to do.”

“I plan on starting now.” They separate their hands and Ren braces himself for the consequences of his actions. “You’re investigating Shido’s palace, correct?”

Ren slowly nods. “We’re at a deadlock at the moment.”

Akechi grins at him. “Ship.” When Ren stares back at him in confusion, he continues. “Shido-san sees the Diet Building, no, all of Japan, as a ship. One in which he is sole commander and in charge of where it goes.”

It looks like he isn’t going to need those books after all.

-.-.-

That same afternoon, Ren sits at his desk with his head in his hands. He calls for a meeting that night in which they can discuss their strategy for Shido’s palace. He had mentioned that he “discovered” the third keyword after he had confirmed it himself. However, he really wants to speak to them about an entirely different matter.

He’s going to allow Akechi to rejoin their party.

He can already hear Ryuji’s protest, and maybe even Ann’s. Morgana might tear his skin apart, heal him, then do it again. Futaba will likely kill him if she didn’t already hear the conversation between the two of them hours ago. Yusuke and Haru will probably be the easier of the bunch to convince, even if he expects them to strongly disagree.

He plans on talking to Makoto about it personally the moment she returns from a quick trip to her place. While he had initially reached out to help Akechi because of her words, he worries she is going to be angry with him. Akechi had already betrayed their trust once, so what’s going to stop him from doing so again? How much easier is it going to be for Akechi to kill any of them if Ren had just allowed him full access to their plans, their conversations, their _persons?_ He can only hope that Makoto can understand where he’s coming from and why he’s doing this, but he could never fault her if she grows upset with him.

He braces himself when he hears the sounds of footsteps coming up the stairs. He lowers his hands, exhales, then stands from his seat. It’s going to be a difficult conversation, but one he knows he has to see through.

“Hey,” he says as he greets Makoto at the top of the stairs. He wants to say something more, but he fails to come up with anything.

“H-hey.” He notices a light blush on her cheeks. She is just too cute for him. They both stare at each other for the longest few seconds before Ren finally drops his gaze to study to floorboard beneath his feet.

“I need to talk with you.” He immediately feels the pressure land on his shoulders once the words are out of his mouth. He can tell she is nervous as well, as he notices her tense in front of him. He tries to tip the balance back to relaxed and enjoyable by throwing his arm around her shoulder and kissing her on the cheek.

Thankfully, it does exactly that. He carefully walks with her and places himself at the foot of his bed, pulling her along with him. She smiles next to him and leans against his side, one of her hands landing on its familiar spot on his leg.

“What did you need to talk to me about?”

Déjà vu hits him like a train and he is on his feet the next second. His abrupt action confuses her and her eyes never leave his body as he pulls out the chair from his desk. Once he is seated, he addresses his reaction.

“Sorry, I kind of noticed where that was heading.” He chuckles as he watches her face relax. “And as much as I’m not _against_ the idea, I need to talk about something else first.”

He’s quiet for too long and the tension becomes tangible again. Makoto smiles across from him, then pats the spot beside her on the bed. “You don’t need to be afraid of me.”

He mirrors her smile. “I’m not afraid of you. But…” He hesitates, then continues after taking a breath. “I’m worried that what I’m going to ask of you will be too much.”

He almost laughs when her eyes grow wide and her face turns dark red. It takes every fiber in his being not to follow through on whatever she’s imagining in her mind at the moment. He’ll ask about it later, assuming she doesn’t kick him out of her life for good.

He can’t help but enjoy a quick tease, though. “I can’t wait for you to tell me what it is you’re wanting me to do to you right now.” This time, he does laugh at her when she throws her face into her hands. He stands from his seat and comes to sit beside her. “But right now, I need you to listen to me.”

He braces himself for a slap to the face, physical or verbal, and his reflexes are ready to catch her if she decides to run off. “Akechi came in earlier this morning, and I’m…I’m going to let him come with us when we infiltrate Shido’s palace.”

Makoto keeps her hands to her face, but he can tell she’s no longer embarrassed. However, he can’t say for sure how she’s feeling. He gives her time to let her come to terms with what he has said, but again, he prepares for the worst kind of reaction.

Her silence forces him into talking again. “I will _never_ let him come close to you, and I promise I’ll have my eye on him the entire time he’s with us. But, his situation is very similar to all of ours. He’s been used his entire life. We all found each other, but he had no one. I’m not trying to justify his actions, but I really do think we should help him.”

He watches her carefully, but after another round of silence, he pulls her hands away from her face and drops to his knees in front of her. “I need you to trust me.”

She never meets his eyes, even when he tugs on her hands to get her attention. Her lack of words only heighten his panic and he’s pretty sure it shows in his tone. “Please, Makoto.”

“What if he kills you?”

Her soft voice has him reaching his hands out to cradle her face. She finally looks at him. While he can see tears building in her eyes, he knows he needs to be strong and determined. Anything less would only bring her more sorrow. “He’s not going to kill me. He wants to-,”

“He betrayed us once, Ren.” She pulls back out of his reach. “Maybe this time, he wants to follow through with his initial plan.”

He can feel her growing angry and he knows he needs to calm her now before she explodes. “No one will be alone with him. He’s not going to be stupid enough to kill me in front of all-,”

“He tried to kill _me_ in front of _you!”_

“And look at how that ended for him.” She flinches at his retort, so he takes a moment to reel back his frustration. “I know I have no right to ask this of you after all you’ve been through. But he knows we will be watching him closely. And I promise you, he’ll never come close to you again.”

She slaps his hand when he reaches out to her again. “What is _wrong_ with you?” His expression falls and his heart drops in his chest. “Why…why do you have to be so…”

As she trails off, he holds his breath and his mind fires off every imaginable word to fill in the blanks. Horrible? Arrogant? Heartless? Inconsiderate?

“…Why do you have to be so perfect?”

Ren literally falls back against the chair behind him under the impact of her statement. Perfect would have been the _last_ word he would have thought she would say. He looks up at her, half expecting her to throw something at him and take off running down the stairs. He watches as her hands cover her face and her shoulders drop. He worries for a minute that she’s going to cry, so he forces himself off the floor to come sit beside her again. He wraps both of his arms around her shoulders and she falls against his chest.

“Why do you have to be so perfect?”

He smiles into her hair. “Maybe it’s because you make me that way.”

He feels her shake her head. “I could never forgive him if he had tried to kill you.”

“Then I’ll tell you that I wanted to kill him, the minute I realized he took you.” She pulls her head away from his chest to look up at him, but his arms tighten around her to avoid making eye contact. He’s sure his eyes are dark as he recounts how he had dreamt of killing Akechi every night she had been gone. “I meant what I said to him, that I would watch him bleed, listen to his cries, hear him beg for mercy while I took pleasure in his pain.”

She stiffens under his hold, so he takes another deep breath to calm himself. “It wasn’t until I heard your voice that the world came back into focus.” He presses his face into the top of her head, trying his best not to cry. “You told me to stop, to not let him change me. Even after everything you went through, _you_ had the courage and the heart to stop me. So really,” he says with a smile. “You’re the one who’s perfect. Because I don’t know if I could have stopped myself had it not been for you. I know I never would have been able to say that to you had you been in my position.”

She laughs into him, likely to suppress any tears. “T-that’s not true.”

He holds her as close as he possibly can, relief flooding over him and washing away any remaining doubts. She’s the one to eventually pull away from him. He’s taken back by the look in her eyes, one that would scare him if she had been angry with him.

“But just so you know, if he makes one move against anyone, I’m not going to hesitate to use force on him.”

Yep, she could be very scary and dangerous if need be. But _damn_ if that didn’t make him that much more attracted to her…

She must see the change in his eyes, for the next second, she’s pushing him back on the bed and leaning over him. His breath catches in his throat at the sight (and implication) of her on top of _him_ , but he’s sure as hell not about to stop whatever she wants to do.

“So, does this mean you forgive me?”

She closes the distance between them and kisses him. “Yes.”

“And you still love me?”

She sits back on him, her legs on either side of his waist. She chuckles at him, which only adds more fuel to the fire growing in his heart. “Yes.”

His hands rest on her hips, trying to restrain himself from moving _too_ fast. “So then I’m not asking too much when I ask you to be my girlfriend?”

He expects her to be shocked (which she is) and to blush (which she does), but nothing could prepare him for the smile that comes to her face. He’s actually so surprised to see it that he’s fairly sure he turns a light shade of pink.

She leans back over him, but stops before her lips meet his. “I’d like that.”

He can’t help the grin that spreads across his face. “Now then, I think it’s time we entertain what you were thinking about earlier.”

She’s more than happy to oblige.    

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My god, I am so sorry for the delay. The new year has done nothing but kick my ass, piss me off, and make me hate my decision not to move to a forever warm place. I also blame the fact that I've been heavily invested in Persona 3 again, so I may not have given this much thought.
> 
> However, this is really, really becoming a pain to write. This chapter has been written for a while, but I didn't want to post it until I had more of the ending done. I have the next chapter kind of written, but it's going to take some time for me to pull it all together. I'm trying not to let anyone down with my stupid decision to keep going, so I hope it pays off in the end!
> 
> I also maaaaaay have been half tempted to finish out that ending, but I couldn't do it. Thought about it, but didn't. I'll just leave it up to your imagination.
> 
> Thank you all so much for your patience and your awesomeness and thank you a million times again for reading!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My god, I've got 100 kudos. 😭😭 You guys offered me so much warmth when it was -50 degrees outside...
> 
> That aside, if you haven't noticed, I have added a few more chapters. This should be the final count, as I am hopefully about to write the last chapter. I had a pretty good plan mapped out, then blew it up when I wrote the next chapter. But, writing Akechi sure hasn't been any easier, even if I know 99% how I want his story to play out...so for all of you who are eager to see what happens with him, brace yourself. I don't know if I'm going to live up to your expectations. I do hope, however, to make up for that with more Ren and Makoto stuff. I may or may not have been feeling up for a challenge and may or may not have written a sex scene...
> 
> PS: Why does everyone call Akechi Akechi and not Goro? No one else in the game gets called by their last name so much that it makes me think it's their first name! (I get called by my last name so much I don't even know my first name. I like it, Akechi.)
> 
> PSS: I took the Buzzfeed quiz on Twitter for whose personality matches with mine. Guess who I got.
> 
> Akechi. 😱💪🏻
> 
> Enjoy!

She knows she is having a nightmare, but the harder she tries to scream, the weaker she gets.

Makoto can feel her hands slipping off the railing of the ship, the roaring waters waiting to drown her from below. She closes her eyes, knowing that it’s all in her head, that she’s actually back in bed snuggled up to Ren and he’s going to wake her up any minute now…

The longer she waits, the longer she fears that maybe she isn’t dreaming.

But, the team would be _helping_ her, not standing on the deck, looking at her like she’s a disgrace and useless. She doesn’t call out to them, not only afraid that her voice will fail her, but also because hearing her voice will make her desperation real. However, she feels like she’s losing strength, and sooner rather than later, she’s going to fall.

She opens her eyes when footsteps approach her. She lifts her head as much as she can and meets the steely eyes of Joker.

“You’re so weak.”

_What?_

“And stupid.” He laughs, but Makoto shakes her head. There is _no way_ this is real. But it fails to make his words sting any less. “You think I love you?” He laughs again and as hard as she tries to stop it, tears form in her eyes. “Your sister was right. I only loved what you _gave_ me. And you gave yourself to me so easily! I didn’t even have to ask!”

She watches as he steps up to the railing, but his hands remain in his pockets. “You were fun while it lasted, but I can do so much better.”

It’s not until he walks away with a grin that the tears fall from her eyes. No. It’s not real. Ren would _never_ say such horrible things to her. She shakes her head again, using most of her strength to do so, thinking that if she makes enough movement, she’ll alert Ren to her nightmare and he’ll jump in to help her.

“You don’t need to be so hard on her, Joker.”

Another body approaches her, one that chills her to the bone. Crow reaches over the railing of the ship to grab onto her hand, a warm smile on his face under his mask. “Are you okay? You know he’s just joking, right?”

She stands rigid once her feet hit the deck’s floorboards, wondering what the hell is happening. Had it been a joke? An impressively _horrible_ one, but a joke nonetheless? Her eyes scan the teens standing before her, but they all look so _empty_. Joker is the only one with some sort of life in his eyes, a grin tugging on his lips, but it just makes her wish he had looked like the others.

“I only asked you back for one thing.” Joker then turns and the team follows him towards the palace entrance. “Don’t let me down.”

Makoto breaths a sigh of relief, even if she’s still confused and hurt and hoping she’ll wake up. It’s not until something cold hits the side of her head that she realizes that Joker had not been talking to her.

He had been talking to Crow.

“My sincerest apologies,” he says in a mocking tone, his gun positioned in the exact same spot he had shot her at only days before. “But whatever the leader asks, I carry out.”

The pain is instantaneous. She can feel the burning on her skin and the sharp pressure behind her eyes as the bullet strikes her skull. She can feel herself fall back against the railing, the shock of the shot forcing her over the ledge and sending her plummeting into the waters. She screams again, even though she’s _dead_ , and water fills her lungs. She’s choking. She’s drowning. She’s panicking.

She’s alone.

Her eyes open.

She’s surrounded by darkness, but it’s the familiar scent of coffee beans, spices, and the boy laying next to her that grounds her. It takes her several minutes to steady her breathing and to allow her eyes to adjust to the darkness of the room. Ren appears to be fast asleep, and her vivid nightmare paralyzes her with fear. She wants him to hold her, to prove to her that she’s not alone, that he does love her and Akechi will never hurt her again…

All she can do in the moment is cry, her voice stuck in the back of her throat and her hands frozen at her side. Maybe if she cries long enough, he’ll sense something and wake up. Or maybe she’ll find the strength to do so herself.

“Ren?” Her voice cracks, and she doubts he hears her with how weak it sounds. She confirms it when he doesn’t stir. She tries again, and a few more times, but they each have the same result.

It’s not until she throws her head down into her chest that she realizes how close he is. The top of her head slams into his chin. He makes a soft groan in pain, and she seizes the accidental opportunity before he brushes it off and falls back asleep.

“Ren?”

She sounds much stronger this time, but her head remains tucked into her own body. He shifts beside her, then one of his hands comes to rest on the side of her neck, his fingers playing with the edges of her hair.

“Is that how you’re going to start waking me up?”

She says nothing, _can’t_ say anything, her words catching in her throat. The tears fall faster, and after a minute or two, she feels Ren sit up in the bed.

“A-are you okay?”

He’s confused, or probably worried that she had hurt herself in the collision. His hand moves to her chin as he forces her to look up at him. His eyes widen when he notices the tears.

“Oh, hell, Makoto, I’m so sorry. I didn’t think I-,”

“I had a nightmare.”

He stares at her for a moment, then realizes what he is doing and shakes his head. He pulls her into his arms and wraps the covers over her as she buries her face into his shoulder.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

She opens her mouth to tell him about it, but stops. What good will telling him do? If anything, he’s going to be upset with her that she had thought it could be real. He would _never_ say anything like that to her, and he will say she is stupid to think that and…

“It’s okay,” he says as his fingers stroke her hair. “It was a nightmare, and whatever you saw will never happen. I promise.”

His voice is soft, but powerful at the same time. While she’s terrified of what awaits her in her dreams, she’s exhausted. His actions aren’t helping. But she doesn’t want to sleep. She needs to hear him tell her how much he loves her right now. That his voice in her head from her nightmare had been a ruse conjured up from the deepest recesses of her heart.

But asking him to say it, or even telling him of his callous self in her dream, will only pull it out of him for the wrong reasons.

She looks up at him and waits until he lowers his gaze to meet her eyes. “I love you, Ren.”

While a small smile forms on his face, his eyes express a heartbreaking level of sorrow. He hugs her tightly, to the point where he almost hurts her, but he pulls back. He rests his head against hers, his hands cup her face, and his eyes stare directly into her own.

“I love you. I always will. And I will do _anything_ to keep you safe.” Then, “You’ll never be alone again.”

The conviction in his tone, the determination in his eyes, and his firm, yet gentle hold on her face, brings forth a new wave of tears. He does not let her pull away from him as she remains locked in his hold.

“I promise.”

She believes him.

-.-.-

It’s hard to describe what he is feeling when he meets the Phantom Thieves outside the Diet Building.

Most of them are eyeing him with suspicion, and he gives credit to Ryuji for not jumping him as he waves a hello to the group. However, what grinds his gears the most is that Ren, in his superb charismatic glory, comes between him and the rest of the group to address him like he’s one of them.

“Are you ready?”

Akechi only smiles his answer, his phone already out and opening the app before Ren or anyone else does.

“I wouldn’t come unprepared.” Gods does he _hate_ that smug arrogance about Ren. But, he’s about to beat the hell out of some of Shido’s henchmen, so for now, he will allow him to get under his skin. The more he can show the team his willingness to follow them, the more they will let him fight, and the more they will trust him in battle.

Fools. All of them.

He ignores the idle chitchat, even if he’s pretty sure his name (followed by several expletives) is dropped more than once by Ryuji and Futaba. The conversation completely shifts from him to the palace once they appear on a cruise liner’s deck. He has to say, he’s never been inside this man’s palace before, but the sight does not impress him as much as it humors him. The others are spouting their righteous bullshit, of how angry and disgusted they are that Shido would see the nation he vows to save from demise as nothing more than a stepping stone.

He fights back the urge to throw them _all_ overboard, but instead, he shrugs his shoulders and sighs. “I’m afraid that’s exactly how he views the world. So long as he can attain his personal agenda, everyone is merely a means to an end.”

He regrets trying to join the conversation. Not because of the snarls and heated glances he receives, but because of the look of pity in Ren’s eyes. Like he can sympathize with him, because a good friend always will.

He almost throws _himself_ off the ship.

Akechi clears his throat to rid himself of the image, then turns his back on the gang. “The palace will not explore itself. We should head in.”

“That ain’t your call to make!”

Oh, he really wants to punch Ryuji in the face. He bites his tongue and walks towards the doors in front of him.

“It’s alright,” Ren says in his perfectly calm and collected voice. It makes him sick. “Let’s go.”

From there, he remains quiet in the background, but attentive to the people around him. He pays attention to how Ren leads the group, how Ryuji and Morgana constantly have something witty to say to the other, they way Yusuke and Haru talk about the fine details of their surroundings, and how Makoto plays babysitter to Ann and Futaba, who seem to get a little too excited over treasure.

He comes to attention only when they all come to a stop by the closed doors to the main hall. Of course Shido would have a blockade. Of course it wouldn’t be as easy as slipping in and taking some pleasure out of beating up his shadow.

He can’t help the smile that comes to his face while the others try and discover how to get in. The longer he has to be around this team, the more time he can sit back and study them. He had a general idea to each one of their personalities from Sae’s palace, but he had been blinded by his own pride to thoroughly examine them. Sure, they don’t trust him, and they aren’t about to let their guards down, but he knows that it will only be a matter of time. With their oh-so-trusting leader willing to believe him, they will all be soon to follow.

“You wouldn’t happen to know of the five individuals needed to enter the hall, would you, Crow?”

He half expects Ren to be the only person to ask him questions, but he is extremely impressed that Makoto has spoken to him. Feeling all eyes on him, he shakes his head. “Unfortunately, I do not. I can tell you that people here would know of them.” He turns to Ren. “We should ask around.”

The teen nods his head in agreement, then they all scatter down different hallways and talk to a variety of guests. Akechi is irritated that Ren is the one stuck looking after him, but he doesn’t let it show. He understands that the trust building is a process, and that Ren is likely only with him to put his fellow teammates at ease.

“My apologies for having to task you with watching over me,” Akechi whispers. “I highly doubt your team will ever trust me.”

Ren says nothing for the longest time, folding his arms over his chest and leaning back against the wall. “You have a ways to go to prove yourself.” He sighs. “Just because I want to trust you doesn’t mean that they will.”

That ends that conversation. The team returns to the front of the chamber with the information they all need within the hour. Their first target: Ooe. As they make their way through the corridors of the ship and into the leisure halls, Akechi has to stop himself from summoning Loki and destroying every single being inside. While he didn’t personally know any of the five VIPs, he knew what most of them had done. Used him. Took advantage of his powers. Turned a blind eye to him for their own selfish desires.

His blood is boiling by the time they step foot into the restaurant for the second time. Ren shows the attendant the card pass to allow them to enter, then they slowly make their way towards the marked table of the politician.

Good thing the bastard hadn’t been there, or Akechi might have come undone. However, he’s _not_ about to pass up a chance to meet the man face to face.

“Allow me to accompany you.”

Oh.

He had been so involved in his anger and had not thought about _who_ had asked for someone to sit with them. Ren immediately walks up to him, his eyes containing a rage he had not witnessed in over a week.

“No.” He half expects the boy to attack him. His shoulders are tense and Akechi can tell he’s biting his tongue to keep attention to their group to a minimum. Akechi holds up his hands, trying to keep a grin from forming on his face.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think about-,”

“I-It’s okay.”

The way Ren’s rage disappears instantly makes Akechi’s smile darken. How cute. Ren is perfectly fine with trusting him and letting him tag along, but will still act as Makoto’s knight in shining armor in front of everyone else. It takes a great deal of strength to keep his laughter contained, but he does roll his eyes when everyone’s attention focuses on the girl who had spoken.

“But-,”

“It’s fine, Joker,” Makoto says, holding up her hands to silence Ren. Akechi can see the boy’s shoulders tighten as his hands close into fists, seemingly very displeased about this decision. Akechi gives Makoto a lot of credit. She looks like she’s the one in charge, like she’s the one who’s okay with him being around, and he has to remind himself that she’s not quite like the rest of them. She’s extremely intelligent and quick to think up a plan, so he needs to be cautious. She could very well be up to something.

Ren heaves a sigh, then turns to Akechi. He stares at him for a second, then he takes a step closer. “You can go with her. But we will be sitting right here, ready to intervene if we have to.”

He nods, expecting no less from the boy. He steps around Ren, even though he feels his eyes continue to bore into him, and stands in front of Makoto. “Shall we?”

She doesn’t offer a smile or a nod or anything, just turns and walks towards the table next to where their ‘guest’ will be sitting. She takes her seat, then he sits down across the table. There’s enough distance to where she appears to be comfortable, but he can talk to her without the rest of the group hearing them. If she wants to say something to him that has nothing to do with their current situation, now’s her chance.

Makoto picks up the menu instead. Akechi wants to strike up a light conversation, but he really doesn’t know what to talk about. It’s strange, since he feels he can shoot the breeze with most people, but this girl gives him pause. The more he thinks about it in the silence, the more he starts to realize why.

Remorse. He regrets threatening her, hurting her, scaring her. She may have been the perfect bait to lure Ren into his trap, but he didn’t expect things to play out like they had. She’s a good kid, one that he may secretly wish has a great future, and secretly hates because of the way she makes him feel _bad_.

“Have you decided what you’re going to order?” he asks to break the insecurity welling up within him. His question works to his advantage; she lowers the menu and her dangerous red eyes meet his.

“I thought you wouldn’t have acted like Skull.”

He’s slightly humored by her comment and offers a small smile in return. “You were just studying that menu so intently, I thought something caught your eye.”

She’s quiet for a few seconds, then she glances over to where the rest of the team is standing out of sight. Before Akechi can tell her not to draw attention to them, she snaps her head back to face him with an intimidating glare he knows all too well.

“If you’re trying to kill him, I suggest you leave this group upon our arrival back home.”

Akechi almost laughs, but she’s so serious that he finds it quite impressive. “If you’re implying I’m going to kill Shido-san, you can-,”

“I will never let you kill Ren.”

At this, he leans back in awe. The intensity of her gaze and the conviction in her tone make him do a double take. Not only does she not beat around the bush, she’s not afraid of him. Hell, he will not be surprised if she stabs him in the back the second he leers at Ren the wrong way.

He still has a long way to go to earn the group’s trust as a whole, but now he’s realizing just what he’s up against. Ren may be naïve and accepting, but Makoto will always be skeptical. A wonderful combination for a future, if not already, couple.

“I know you don’t trust me, with good reasons, of course.” He sighs as she leans back in her chair, her eyes narrowing even more behind her mask. “But Ren truly is something else. After everything I did to you, to him, he still wishes to help. It’s a strange feeling, having wanted to be accepted for so long, and now to be faced with that chance…I may still need some time to embrace it.”

“He’s a kind person, but I think he’s too forgiving.”

He expects this from her, but he also knows he’s talking to someone with a completely different personality than Ren. He needs to be careful about what he says and how he says it. What he can say to Ren will not work with Makoto. “I agree.” He chuckles to himself when she appears startled by his words. “I’m not going to lie to you. You’re too smart for that. And I personally dislike the way he’s opened his arms and allowed me to join your team with little hesitation. However, I also feel that’s what draws people to him, what makes him so special, and why he was granted these powers in the first place.”

He continues on in her silence, amused by her baffled expression. “None of you will ever know how I feel, no matter what you say. I thought that gaining popularity and recognition from the public would fill that void in my heart, but it’s fake. It’s meaningless. But your admiration for Ren as a leader and as a friend is real. He sets a wonderful example, one in which I personally wish to follow. So, if I were to kill him, like you think I’m planning to do, what will continue to motivate me to become a better person?”

The glare returns to her eyes. “You tried to kill me to prove what to him exactly?”

Her question causes him to stumble. He thinks his words out in his mind before he says them. “I wanted to see how far I could push him. Perhaps he could have understood my plight to kill Shido if he had such a strong enough desire to kill me.”

“Ren would never cross that line because he’s not _you_.”

It’s his turn to narrow his eyes. “You may have been too preoccupied to notice the way he looked when he threatened me. There’s not a doubt in my mind that he would have killed me had I actually killed you.” There’s a look of pain that crosses over her face, so he holds up his hands and offers a warmer expression. “But if it’s any consolation, I never meant to harm you. I’m sure the two of you discussed my return, and I imagine you were not thrilled by the prospect of fighting along side me again.”     

She slams her palms on the table. “That’s _exactly_ what you wanted to do! If not me, then you wanted to hurt him! And that’s what I tried to tell him! But he’s so adamant that you only need a friend, so he’s overlooking your past ways to give you a better future!”

“And that’s why this is so conflicting for me,” he admits quietly, leaning onto his hands resting on the table. “He was able to put aside his anger, to prepare for any backlash he would receive from you, your sister, and you friends, just to give me that opportunity. I’ve only known the life of using, being used, and revenge, but seeing Ren find the courage to fight to better others instead wallowing in self pity strikes something inside me.”  

“You’re not going to change.”

He chuckles. "But you trust him, yes?"

She responds with silence, but the look in her eyes makes him wonder if she really does.

It catches him off guard, so he clears his throat. “With all due respect, I didn’t accept his offer to express my condolences for your situation, or to ask for forgiveness for my actions against you or your friends. I fully intend on you hating me until the day I die.” He leans back in his chair and crosses his arms over his chest. “I’m doing this because I want to know how it feels to be respected and cared about, to have a bond with someone who expects nothing from me, the same way that Ren appears to be.”

She opens her mouth to say something, but she closes it quickly. As she continues to mull over his statement, he adds, “I do hope you keep your eyes on me and keep me focused on my growth.” He smiles his fake little smile because he feels the conversation is tipping in his favor. “Perhaps a progress report after every infiltration?”

She gives off an exasperated sigh. “I still don’t trust you.”

His smile widens. “I’m not asking you to trust me. I’m asking you to watch me.”

Her gaze is still hardened by anger and doubt, but it softens considerably as she shakes her head. “I’m not afraid to use force if you do anything to warrant it, but I’ll at least consider your request. But know that I’m not Ren, and I won’t let the smallest thing go unnoticed. You so much as _look_ at someone the wrong way, I won’t let it slide.”

He gives off a small chuckle as their “server” finally approaches their table. As Makoto plays her part as customer, Akechi picks up his own menu, determined to let his actions speak for themselves.

He wonders what Ren would order.  

-.-.-

Makoto is quiet, almost _too_ quiet as Ren sits beside her on the train back to Leblanc. They had a successful day at Shido’s palace, acquiring two of the five letters needed to breach the door to face Shido’s shadow. Ryuji may have been more temperamental and constantly berating Akechi, but to Ren’s surprise, the detective teen had taken it in stride. Deep down, he had been relieved that Ryuji had been the only one to still hold such open animosity towards Akechi (he’s sure the others hold the same distrust, just never vocalize it), but Ryuji had always been loud and not afraid to speak his mind.

Ren needs to give the group more time to be around Akechi. They had all been surprised, perhaps even a little displeased with him, but he knows they can see the positive in tense situations. They’ve sympathized with enemies in the past, to an extent, and he really believes that Akechi can change with the right people in his life. It’s not going to be easy, but it will be a challenge that will leave a greater impact on each one of them. That makes it worth it.

But right now, he has another matter to tend to: the awkward silence he is sharing with Makoto.

He has no idea where it is coming from. He assumes it’s because she is still not pleased that Akechi is a part of the group again, which he has to learn to accept. So, he continues to sit and tap his foot on the floor because he’s uncomfortable and doesn’t know what else to do.

It’s not until she stands from her seat that he snaps back to attention. He overhears the announcement that they are arriving at Shibuya Station, so he rises to his feet and follows her to the train’s double doors. He looks at her from the corner of his eyes and her body language is _screaming_ anger. But, what more can he say to her to put her at ease? He had thought she had accepted his decision to allow Akechi to join the team again, even if she really wasn’t okay with it, but…

The doors open and he has to grab her wrist to keep her from storming off. “Okay, I know you’re not happy with him being back, and I’m sorry. But I need you to trust me when I tell you I won’t let him harm you, or anyone else.”

Makoto never replies to him and he has to tighten his grip so she doesn’t wander off. He realizes exactly _how_ upset she really is when he walks towards the transfer to get to Leblanc and she pulls him towards _her_ transfer.

“Do you want me to take you home?” He can tell she wants her space, but he also wants to talk and help her calm down. At least she hasn’t turned on him and screamed at him yet, but he knows it’s likely to come.

“No, I’ll be fine.” There is little anger in her tone. In fact, he hears more sadness than anything. It hurts, especially since it seems that she wants her space, but if he has learned anything from his last few months with her, it’s that bottling up thoughts and feelings will only make things worse. She may not be a talker, but he really wants to know why she’s so upset.

“Hey.” He pulls on her hand to effectively stop her. “I’m okay with you wanting to go home, but if it’s because you’re mad at me, I want you to tell me.”

To his surprise, she doesn’t run away from him. Her shoulders drop and that only makes him grow more curious as to where all of this is coming from. She’s not too angry (thankfully), but she is very upset. With him? With someone else? Is her sister causing more problems because she has been staying with him for a few days?

“Come back and stay with me, please? We can talk and you can feel better and then you can help me with my homework because I may have forgotten about it until just now…”

She at least smiles at him, but his moment is short lived as she shakes her head. “I just want to go home.”

Determined to not let her walk away with her feeling like this, he steps in front of her and smiles. “Can I at least take you to dinner?” It’s still fairly early in the evening, so if she declines him, he’ll know the severity of the situation. Or maybe he has been too clingy and she just wants a day to herself.

So many possibilities, but none he will confirm unless she speaks to him.

“I’m not hungry.”

He wants to roll his eyes and pull out his hair and yell his frustrations because he doesn’t know how to make things right with her. “Please, Makoto, I just-,”

“But I could use some coffee if you want me to help you with your assignment.”

He almost stumbles back, but he squeezes her hand and smiles and laughs because she’s getting a little too good at surprising him. “I’ll make you your favorite.”

His chest swells in amusement and joy when a light blush spreads across her face. She follows behind him as he leads her through the crowd to their train. Once on board, he slides one arm around her, his hand resting against her hip. She leans against him, but a part of him wants to see her face. He wants to know if she’s as happy as he is right now, standing beside her, thankful for another moment to spend with her.

If what he can make out in the glass’s reflection is any indicator, she’s far from happy.

His grip tightens around her, but he chooses to say nothing. The train isn’t packed, but it’s not a place to really have an in-depth conversation. He knows the longer he continues to think of all the reasons that she could be upset, the more frustrated he is going to become, which leads him to do stupid things…

He bites his tongue, chews his lip, plays with his phone to keep quiet on their way to Leblanc. However, after a cordial encounter with Sojiro and Futaba, he ushers her up the stairs. She looks confused, maybe a little hurt that he had been a bit forceful in dragging her to his room, but he can’t contain it any longer.

“Why are you mad at me?”

His blunt question causes her to lower her gaze to the floor and clasp her hands in front of her. She shifts her weight around on her feet, but Ren grows impatient. She’s nervous, he can tell, but she would feel so much better if she would just say what’s on her mind.

“I’m not perfect, Makoto, and I know I’m probably going to do some things that will hurt you or upset you. But I want to know when I do. So please, even if it’s hard, or over something stupid, I want you to tell me.”

She considers his words for a moment, then she takes a deep breath and exhales slowly. “I’m not mad at you.”

It’s not the answer he expects to hear. “Be honest with me.”

“I’m not. It’s more…actually…” She trails off and he waits not-so-patiently for her to continue. “I’m thinking too much is all.”

He offers a chuckle at that because when is she _not_ , and he takes a step closer to her. “Well, whatever you’re thinking about is upsetting you. So I want you to talk to me.”

She turns away from him, almost as if she’s embarrassed. “I-it’s n-nothing, really.”

“Please?”

She grimaces at his plea, but it works in his favor. “I-I just…” Another pause, then her words come flying almost too fast out of her mouth. “I just got jealous of Ann at the pool today because she’s got a great body and it makes me worry that you don’t like the way I look and I start thinking about why you would even love me when someone as beautiful as Ann is around you and…”

He laughs as she catches her breath. She finally looks up at him while he leans back against the bookshelf. “I’m sorry,” he says between bouts of laughter. “I just, gods you’re so _cute!”_

She drops her eyes to the floor as he calms down. He takes two steps to stand directly in front of her, lifts her chin, and swoops down and kisses her. His smile stretches from ear to ear. “You have _nothing_ to be worried about.”

The familiar tint of red colors her cheeks. “B-but Ann is so-,”

He cuts her off with another kiss. “While Ann may be a good-looking girl, she’s not my type.” He grows warm inside when a smile forms on her face.

“I guess I got a little self-conscious. I’m sorry.”

“Then let me tell you a little secret. When you and the girls went off to talk to that creepy guy, Ryuji had been telling me some story. But I was too busy looking at you. Even though I’ve seen you in a bathing suit before, hell, I’ve seen _all_ of you before,” he adds with a smirk and her hands cover her face to hide her growing blush. “But I couldn’t help but think _damn_ , I have a smokin’ hot girlfriend!”

He can only hope she’s smiling behind her hands, because it’s a few degrees warmer standing in front of her. He keeps adding on to it. “You might be the most beautiful woman on the planet, but it’s not the only thing I love about you.”

She lowers her hands slightly and peaks up at him over her fingertips. “R-really?”

He wraps her in an embrace, placing his head on the top of hers. “It’s hard to put into words, but…” His voice fades, his mind growing blank as he scrambles to find the right thing to say to her. He prides himself on being good with words and being good with them at the right time, but she has an effect on his ability to _think_ , especially when she’s with him, more so when she’s propped up against him.

It’s one of the few times he feels he actually speaks with his heart. “When I first came to Tokyo, I was terrified. Sojiro hated me, the principal threatened me before I could even say hello, and I had no idea how to navigate the trains, the maps, anything. I’ve never felt so lost and alone in my life.”

He closes his eyes and hugs her closer to him because he can tell she’s trying to pull away and say something to interrupt him. “That first day of school was a nightmare. Ryuji had been nice enough to show me the way to school, but had we not shown up in Kamoshida’s castle, a part of me wonders if he would have ignored me like the rest of the school.”

He hears her whisper, “I doubt that,” against him, and he softly smiles. He continues before his thoughts lose their meaning.        

“Every day was a different sort of hell. Teachers enjoyed calling on me and the class always loved when I didn’t know the answer. Even when I did, it was luck, or that I had somehow cheated. I was told to stay away from Ryuji, the one person who had been kind enough to _speak_ with me. I can still feel everyone’s eyes when I would walk down the hall after school. I can even hear their whispers sometimes in my sleep. I knew I was going to have a hard time adjusting…but after the first week, I honestly felt like I would be better off in jail.”

“But,” he says when she tries to push him back. “But then I went to the library to check out a book for one of my classes, and the girl freaked out. Pretty sure she thought I was going to hold her up and rob her for all the books in the place,” he adds with a light laughter. “I was so frustrated when she told me she couldn’t help me, and even though I wanted to tell her how irritated I was, I didn’t. The room was watching me, as if expecting me to become violent and go on a killing spree, so I grabbed my bag and turned away.”

A smile forms on his lips. “That was when I first met you, well, bumped into you really. I didn’t know anything about you, but I thought you were another one of the students operating the rumor mill, so I didn’t say anything at the time. And by some strange twist of fate, I ran into you as I was leaving that day. I tried to ignore you, thinking you were going to say something about what happened back in the library. But then you held out that library pass, told me that everyone should have a right to learn without restrictions, and walked away. You even apologized to me.”

He kisses the top of her head. “I may have formed a slight crush on you because you looked so cute and adorable, but if I’m going to be honest, I’m pretty sure I fell in love with _you_. The way you strived to do what was right, even if it went against the popular belief. You kept fighting to find the truth, though sometimes I felt you may have fought a little _too_ hard. You put yourself in danger to help the students at school because no one else would. You put yourself in danger to help a friend who was _furious_ with you because you knew she deserved better.”

He finally pulls away from her and lifts her head to look into her eyes. “ _That_ is what I love about you: your unyielding selflessness and desire to do what’s right, no matter who it’s for or what stands in your way.”

 _That’s why_ _I’m_ _helping_ _Akechi_.

She immediately throws her face back into his chest, which causes him to stumble back with a laugh. “But I can also tell you this.”

She turns in his arms to look up at him, her face still an adorable shade of pink. “W-what’s that?”

“I really, _really_ like the way you look in a bathing suit.”

She groans, but before she can hide her reddening cheeks, he leans in and kisses her.

“But,” he adds, his lips hovering over her ear as his hands stroke the skin around her hips. “I love the way you look even more when you wear nothing at all.”  

Her cheeks darken as her arms wrap themselves around his neck. He slowly begins to lift her sweater by his wrists, his fingertips tracing patterns along the skin of her hips, up her sides, and to her shoulders. She only separates from him so he can pull it off of her, but she throws herself at him the next second. He chuckles, because she’s usually this shy at first, but he hopes it never fades away.

“And I hope I’m the only person to ever say that to you,” he adds, raising his hands to rest against her shoulders. When she leans back, he can’t keep his eyes from wandering over her body.

“I promise that you will be.”

He smiles and seals their promise with a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I mention how fucking hard it is to write Akechi?
> 
> Thanks for reading!!
> 
> (DID MY EMOJIS REALLY WORK!?)


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. I hated my Akechi story and redid it. Hence why this update is a little late. I'm still not fully satisfied with it, but out of all the scenarios I wrote, it was the better one. I'm also tired of trying to get something to work with him and I'm giving up.
> 
> On a brighter note, I'm almost done writing this damn story! I may be playing with ideas for something new, but...we shall see.
> 
> Enjoy!

“Makoto?”

Sae softly knocks on her sister’s door, but opens it when she receives no answer. The room is dark and there is no sign of her or an indication she had been in her room for several hours. Sae closes the door quietly, but it does little to quell the rage building up in her stomach.

She may be more overprotective now after the ordeal with Akechi, but she still doesn’t trust Ren. There is something about him: the mysterious aura, his always having an answer for everything, his charming smile she thinks he throws on to hide something. And it makes her worry. Perhaps her sister knows and that’s why she appears to trust him so much. She wants to trust Makoto’s judgment, but she’s been so sheltered her entire life. That’s where Sae’s anxiety is stemming from; Ren could very well be capitalizing on that fact, and her naïve sister wouldn’t have the slightest clue.

Makoto has never shown any interest in boys, from what she’s aware of, and she’s terrified to think of her sister’s outlook on life now that Ren is in it. Makoto is intelligent, independent, and knows what she wants. Or, at least, Sae would like to think that. She blames herself really for not keeping in touch with her, and maybe one of the things she is feeling is regret. She hadn’t been there for Makoto. She had barely spoken to her over the last year or so. She had been so consumed with work and trying to make a name for herself that she wouldn’t have even noticed a change in her sister.

Regardless, it doesn’t make the anger go away.

Makoto shouldn’t be out flouncing around with a boy she hasn’t even known for a year! Were they dating, or were they just sleeping together? Ren had only told Sae that he loved Makoto, and she wonders if he has told  _her_  that. Assuming they both really did love each other, she would still question his motives. It may be a bit overbearing to want to protect Makoto in her first possible relationship, but again…there’s something about Ren she doesn’t trust.

Sae throws herself down on the couch in the living room. There’s no noises, no sounds coming from the kitchen, the TV, and it’s overwhelming. It makes her feel sick to her stomach. Now that she wants to be home, to be a big sister again, Ren comes in and snatches Makoto away with his charm and quick wit and she  _hates_  it. She knows she can’t really hold it over the boy’s head, but for the first time in her life, she feels completely alone.

She throws her face into her hands. Perhaps she had been too cold to Ren the other morning when she had found him half-naked in bed with her sister. Perhaps if she were to talk to him, have a one on one chat about the situation, she can feel better and more at ease. She sure as hell won’t hold back with her questions, but he strikes her as the kind of person who won’t hold back with his answers. At least she’ll know when he’s lying.

Her phone rings in her pocket. She heaves a sigh, pulls out her phone, and holds back a groan as she answers the call.

“Good evening, sir.”

He wastes little time getting to the point. “Where are you at on those Phantom Thieves? I need them taken care of immediately.”

Sae throws herself back against the couch. “I’m following up on a few leads.”

“Catch them by the end of the week or I’ll be forced to take drastic measures.”

She rolls her eyes and rubs her fingers into her brow. “I’ll do my best.”

He retorts with, “Your best isn’t good enough, Niijima-san.  _Catch_  them. Now!”

He hangs up the phone and she’s left questioning the sudden urgency. Sure, catching the Phantom Thieves has always been priority number one, and her ultimate goal for her promotion, but to have a definite time limit raises eyebrows.

She still believes they had killed Okumura, and while she may not be the biggest fan of Shido, it’s her duty to protect, even hypocritical politicians.

It hits her then where the urgency is coming from. The elections will be held next week, and any negative press against Shido will likely hinder his campaign. Having been labeled a target by the Phantom Thieves did not seem to slow him down or change his rankings, but if they were to repeat what they had done to Okumura, the citizens will likely be in an uproar.

She sure as hell isn’t about to have another death on her hands, no matter who it is.

Sae grabs her bag sitting on the edge of the couch and throws open her laptop. She starts from fresh, from the first incident with Kamoshida. She had assumed Shujin students were a part of it, or some upset parents who had discovered the alleged abuse against their children. She had initially taken great interest in Ren, who had just transferred to the area, had been under probation for assault, and had a unique group of friends. But she had always struggled on  _how_  they had been able to pull of such a feat in the first place. No physical harm had come upon Kamoshida. Threats of violence may have been made, but Ren and Ryuji combined wouldn’t have been much of a challenge for the professional athlete.

Madarame’s case had been similar in motives and MO, but it had not been affiliated with the Shujin. It didn’t mean that the same group of students couldn’t have discovered Madarame by accident, but it all had seemed a bit…strange. How did they target him? How would they have known about the plagiarism and abuse? Kamoshida had been personal, but Madarame, given he had been attacked by the same group of teenagers, had no connection.

However, now that she thinks about it, she does recall the painting of _Sayuri_ on the wall of Leblanc.

Ren lives above Leblanc.

Leblanc is owned by Sojiro Sakura, who is the guardian of Futaba Sakura, daughter of Wakaba Isshiki, who had researched in cognitive psience…

She shakes her head to clear her building suspicions and returns to her facts. She strengthens her case with Kaneshiro, who had been targeting high school students for easy cash. Maybe the group had students in several different high schools, or high school students had known how to contact them. The Phan-Site? Is that how they carried out hits? But… _how?_

Maybe Makoto would know of some of the students to talk to. She had mentioned something about several of her peers needing help, had even asked her what to do, but she had dismissed her and told her to focus on her studies instead.

Something unsettling begins to creep into her heart. Did  _Makoto_  know who these Phantom Thieves were and had asked them for help? Her sister has a tendency to stick her nose into problems that don’t concern her, but with the principal breathing down her neck and a majority of the students faulting her, she likely had no other option. But if Makoto knew about the Phantom Thieves, why did she not say anything after the principal had been killed? Or when Okumura had been murdered? Why did she not say anything when she had handed her the calling card that had been meant for  _her?_

Her fingers stop working on the keyboard.

Is  _Makoto_  a part of this group?

The mere thought of her sister being a part of the group of people she had been trying to capture sends her flying back into the sofa. If the Phantom Thieves were in fact the Shujin students she had originally believed were a part of the group, Makoto could have found out for herself. And when her back had been up against the wall with Kaneshiro, she may not have only asked for help, but asked to assist.

She remembers that night she had asked about their father’s opinion on them, and she had called her useless. Had that been the final push Makoto had needed to join?

Was her  _sister_  the one who had taken the files off her computer? She had thought Akechi had done something to spite her, but the more she thinks about it, the more anxious she begins to feel.

What if…what if Makoto had asked the Phantom Thieves to change  _her_  heart?

The room begins to spin and Sae thinks she’s going to be sick. However, everything begins to make sense. Ren, Ryuji, and Ann had been the group’s first members. Somehow, they had met Yusuke and had discovered Madarame’s crimes through him. Makoto had to have asked for help with Kaneshiro. She’s still unsure of what the issue with Medjed had been about. However, she recalls that Futaba, surprisingly chipper for a shut-in, had been the one to “do things on the computer,” which had led to Ren telling her to bring up Shido with Akechi and…

Dear god.

Truth hits her like a bullet train.  _That_  had been the mysterious and curious feeling she had around Ren.  _He_  is their leader. She even recalls him saying he would have told her about the Phantom Thieves in exchange for her help finding Makoto a few weeks ago. Why the hell she had never put it all together until just now, she hasn’t a clue.

However, instead of feeling smug and relieved, she feels the complete opposite.

She needs answers, and she knows exactly where to get them.

-.-.-

Akechi hates Shido for several different reasons. But he hates the man even more for his stupid palace and stupid statues that turn him into a stupid rat.

He hates Ren more and more as the days go on, too. He seems to enjoy running around as a rat and exploring places they couldn’t as normal sized humans.

He begins to hate Yusuke as well, as the boy always glows with delight before and after the transformations and pulls out a pen and pad of paper because ‘art is inspiring’ or some crazy shit.

He had been tempted to by rat poison at the store the other day…

“Well done, guys!”

Akechi chuckles to himself. The last damn recommendation letter is finally in their hands. Soon, Shido will begging for mercy. He can’t wait to slash his shadow to pieces and put a gun to his head and pull the trigger. He’s sure he’s going to earn gasps from the group because “we thought you were changing” or some inane bullshit. He really has no idea why they seem to accept fighting beside him, but they appear to be too focused on Ren’s redemption than on his personal vendetta.

Good.

He would really hate to have to kill them all now after he had gotten this far.

“Something amusing, Crow?”

A genuine smile forms on his lips. “Nothing, Queen. It’s just that you all are such a lively bunch. Even after all those rat transformations.”

Makoto’s shoulders shudder while Yusuke laughs jovially behind them. “Rat-formations…Brilliant!”

Yusuke is now up there with Ren on his list of people in this group he’s going to exterminate with rat poison.

“Clever, Fox,” the cat replies sarcastically. “Now, can we  _please_  get moving so I don’t claw out someone’s throat?”

“Wouldn’t clawing out someone’s throat imply that you are, in fact, a cat?”

Akechi doesn’t expect his barb to do anything, but to his surprise, Morgana turns as if he’s going to attack him and  _Ryuji_  bursts into laughter.

“Ya hear that, Mona?! Even Crow here thinks you’re a cat!”

A few things hit Akechi at that moment as he watches Morgana and Ryuji banter back and forth. No one appears to be giving him a beat down, reminding him that he’s a traitor and that he will never be one of them. They all seem to have accepted him, which means they trust him on some level.

But…he’s confused. Why? Why would they accept him? Can they not see that he’s using them just so he can kill Shido? Aren’t they using him to get through the palace easier? They have to be…right? They wouldn’t be laughing and including him in conversations freely without wanting something from him.

They’re all too happy for his liking. Yet, he’s intrigued by it. They have each been through some amount of duress in their young lives, but they can openly talk about it like any other topic. Where is their anger, their desire to get even with those who have wronged them? Why did Ryuji and Ann _not_ kill Kamoshida? Why did Yusuke _not_ kill Madarame? How did Futaba and Haru not want to kill _him?_ How did Ren and Makoto work through their hatred and fear to allow him back into the group?

How had a mere “change of heart” been _good enough_ for each of them?

It’s too much for him to think about because he doesn’t have an _answer_.

 _“Sometimes, I do want to kill you, to kill Shido, to kill everyone who ever hurt my friends.”_ Ren had told him a few nights ago. _“But it takes a lot more strength and a hell of a lot more heart not to. That’s why I need to do as much as I can.” Ren laughs. “Revenge is actually sweeter knowing you didn’t sink to their level and still managed to beat them.”_

Had Ren been trying to compare him to _Shido?_ That he had been weak? That because he had lacked forgiveness and kindness, he would never beat Ren, or Shido?!

However, Ren had been able to overcome his trails because he had friends to support him.

Maybe it’s time Akechi really gives it a chance. Just to test it out. He may still kill everyone if it doesn’t make him feel any better.

“Don’t get complacent.”

Makoto’s harsh tone snaps him out of his thoughts. He shrugs his shoulders and begins to ascend the stairs. “My apologies. I would never forget my place.”

Her eyes narrow at his comment, but she says nothing else. It’s good to know that she’s still so distrustful of him. One of his nagging questions is still everyone’s sincerity about wanting to be friends. With Makoto, she doesn’t want to be friends. He can tell, and he respects that. It may not be a wonderful thing, but she’s not _fake_.

However, he worries that perhaps the others are just as honest, but welcoming.

The second he reaches the top of the staircase, he feels something fly by his ear and loudly clang with the steel wall in front of him. It shocks him, knowing full well someone is shooting at him, but who? Ren may be annoyed with his inability to earn Makoto’s trust, but he wouldn’t resort to violence. Ryuji, maybe? Makoto?

“A lost traitor in search of friends? How pathetic.”

Akechi suddenly knows exactly what’s happening as he turns to face the cognitive version of himself. His double’s eyes shine gleefully, a pistol in his left hand, taking aim at him once again. “You really believe these people will accept you? You’re more of an idiot than I thought.”

Akechi doesn’t try to hide his smirk as he slowly finds himself making his way back down the stairs. The rest of the team appears hesitant, not really knowing what to do. However, as he stares back into the eyes of his other self, he can’t help but laugh.

This is Shido’s pitiful attempt to take him out. And by trying to hurt his feelings before killing him? Please. That old man couldn’t be more insulting.

“I take it Shido-san has discovered my betrayal, yes?” His shadow grins madly while the group around him begins to mumble between themselves. “I expected that man to pull this little move, but look around you. How do you plan on taking each and every one of us out?” He shakes his head in mild amusement. “So why don’t you just run back to dear old daddy and tell him that this is where I plan to stay.”

The cognitive Akechi grimaces at him, but seriously. What does he plan to do with a little gun against eight persona users? Injure him with words? Shoot at him and pray he kills someone?

“You know you’ll never be accepted anywhere.” The gun lowers and it only piques Akechi’s curiosity. “Especially when your supposed ‘friends’ are only using you for their own gain.”

Hearing the words come out of his mouth cause Akechi to clench his fists. However, Ren (god damn him) comes up beside him. “That’s not true. If this is where he wants to stay, then he can stay. He’s our friend.”

He turns to look over at the boy, mystified by the conviction in his tone.  _Friend?_ Do they all really believe that? He looks over his shoulders at the rest of the group behind him, each of them taking battle stances and nodding at him. (Well, Makoto doesn’t nod, but she’s ready to fight.)

He’s momentarily winded by his own internal dilemma. Does he want to be their friend? He admits to himself that sharing in some laughter and witty remarks had been enlightening to some degree, but it had not been his goal. Even if he had told Makoto specifically that he would like to understand the feeling of being welcomed by his peers, he never actually expects to  _feel_  it.  _Can_  he be their friend? Would he _like_ to be their friend?

Would he really forgo a chance to put a bullet in Shido’s head to let them change his heart?

_“Revenge is actually sweeter knowing you didn’t sink to their level and still managed to beat them.”_

It’s an odd feeling to have in the middle of a conversation in his bastard father’s palace. So he shakes his head to clear the questions and doubts and grabs the handle of his sword. But his other self laughs at Ren’s words, clutching his face in his hands.

“Says the perfect boy who, deep down, will never accept him after her hurt that girl!”

He can see Ren ball his hands into fists from the corner of his eyes. A slightly more familiar emotion tugs at Akechi’s heart, but he draws his weapon to shake the feeling.

“It’s quite alright, Joker,” he says, more as a distraction than as a comforting gesture. “I will never ask for forgiveness, but I do know I can trust you.”

Ren takes a step towards him, hand brandishing his blade. “I do forgive you, so let’s shut this guy up. Together.”

Akechi really wants to roll his eyes, but he grins instead. “Your girlfriend approve of this?”

He is delighted when Ren’s jaw opens and he stumbles back. The teens gasp behind him, which makes him chuckle. Not that it’s any of his business, or anything he truly needs to know, but he asks for one simple reason. It puts Ren on the spot, so he can tell where his conviction lies. He’s going to have to admit it not only in front of his friends, but in front of Makoto. If Ren can do that, Akechi may be willing to trust him.

He just didn’t really think anyone would _not_ know about Ren and Makoto’s relationship status.

_“What?!”_

It’s a unanimous screech from everyone except Ren and Makoto. And Yusuke, who only holds his chin, as if pondering something…weird. Ren rubs the back of his head in embarrassment, but never answers his question.

Makoto on the other hand, is _fuming_.

Wonderful. _That_ will be interesting to see play out. 

In front of them, his double continues to laugh manically and he begins the transformation to a shadow beast. He hears the team snap out of their daze and come up to take formation beside him. However, he waves them off.

“Let me do this,” he says quietly, turning his head over his shoulder to face Ren. “Even if you all have truly accepted me, I  _need_  to do this. Please.”

Ren look at him with pity in his eyes, but he blinks and it’s gone. He takes a step back and orders his teammates to do the same. Before Akechi can take a step forward into his own personal battle, Ren’s hand falls to his shoulder.

“You don’t have to do this alone. We’re here for you, if you need us.”

Akechi nods his reply. “I know my limits, so I’ll be counting on your backup, if and when I need it.”

He then turns to the beast in front of him with a smirk. “Let’s go, Robin Hood.”

-.-.-

“So,” Haru coos as she slides herself into the booth next to Makoto. “Why did you never tell us you and Ren were dating?”

Makoto throws her face into her hands as Ann and Futaba climb in across from her. They had all been surprised at the admission (from _Akechi_ ; Haru will  _never_  let her live that down) and had since been hounding her for details. She wishes Ren would offer his help, seeing as though she’s literally burning alive, but he’s too busy preparing their celebratory dinner with Sojiro to do so.

She’s also extremely upset with him.

Ann pokes her hands from across the booth. “Come on, this is your punishment for not telling us!”

She hears Futaba clicking away on her computer. “Oh, I’m sure I can find some juicy deets on my surveillance recordings!”

“Okay!” she yelps, hoping Futaba will  _stop looking!_ “I-it’s still, um…kind of early, and I-I guess we didn’t have time to say anything.”

She lies. She honestly has no idea why the thought had never crossed her mind. She feels like she has let them down, that they are disappointed in her for hiding such a secret. It crushes her, even more so because she doesn’t have a good excuse. The best thing she can come up with is that they had been so secretive for months (she will never,  _ever_  tell them how it all began) and it had only been instinctual to continue. Plus, Ren had  _finally_  asked her less than a week ago, so really, it  _is_  kind of early…

Haru leans into her with her shoulder. “Have you kissed him yet?”

She covers her face again. “W-why do you want to know  _that?”_

“Have you ever made out with him?”

“I would love to draw both of you at the height of your passion!”

“I  _knew_  something was happening when Ren asked me to leave at night!”

Makoto can hear the ladle drop to the floor in the kitchen and Sojiro smacking Ren upside the head for his accident. At the same time, her face burns and probably gives off enough heat to supply all of Leblanc with warmth for the rest of winter. The girls each inhale sharply at Morgana’s statement and all she wants to do is crawl into a hole and stay there until she dies.

She can practically  _hear_  the grin in Haru’s voice. “And what exactly _were_ you and Ren doing at night, Mako-chan?”

Ryuji chimes in with, “I hear you can rock out some video games, Makoto!”

Everyone laughs (except Ryuji, because he doesn’t think that what he said was funny) but her heart is still on the verge of collapsing. She can’t admit to everyone that they had been sleeping together for over a month and continue to fight alongside them!

Futaba cackles. “Heh heh, I’m gonna find those recordings now!”

“Please,” she says, failing to sound as strong she wants to be. “Please don’t.”

“I’ll definitely use them for blackmail!”

Makoto groans and keeps her face in her hands. Haru’s innocent voice reaches her ears once more. “I think it’s adorable.”

“I thought you guys were dating weeks ago, you know, before-,”

Ann stops her line of thinking, not only because she’s worried about striking a tender spot in Makoto’s memory, but because said person who had caused it is among them.

“Please,” she hears Akechi mutter. “There’s no need to hold back on my account.”

Her head drops with her shoulders. Did everyone really want to trust him? They had all been willing to step in and help him fight his cognitive self without any hesitations. Ren had been more than happy to allow him to come back to Leblanc for the get together. There is little doubt, even from Ryuji, that Akechi has really turned over a new leaf.

She’s the only one left with questions. With the fact that Akechi had personally told her he could accept her harsh attitude, she can’t help but feel like the bad guy.

But she’s slightly upset with everyone else. Ren especially. Akechi is still up to something, she can  _feel_  it. While she may not be good at reading people or extracting information like her sister is, her intuition has never once let her down. And it screams at her every time Akechi is around.

With no proof, of course, she keeps all of this to herself.

The fact that she’s now the center of attention with the revelation of her relationship, she feels like she’s opening herself up to danger. How Akechi had known about it in the first place is beyond her, but she fears she knows. Ren had told him. He had told _him_ over their friends! She may be fighting every day to be polite with Akechi, but Ren should not have gone behind her back to tell him a secret she hadn’t even been sure she wanted to address to their friends.

She feels betrayed. All for what? So Akechi could prove himself to everyone? So Ren could prove a point to her and the group?

She thinks of her nightmares, where she had been unable to persuade Ren to cut ties with Akechi and Akechi kills him. She thinks of the nightmares where Ren leaves her alone with Akechi, because he’s passed the test, and he kills her. She’s never once told him about these dreams, believing they had been farfetched and ridiculous.

Now, she’s not so sure.

Thankfully, Ren approaches the table where they are all gathered at and draws the attention to himself. “Dinner is ready guys.”

Ryuji throws a fist in the air and Futaba jumps out of her seat. Both of them rush into the kitchen to snag the first helping of curry and the spread of sushi they had picked up on their way over.

“I want fatty tuna!!”

Morgana and Yusuke follow suit and Ren looks down at Haru and smiles. “Mind helping me with the coffee?”

Haru glances over at Makoto, who nods her head (she really needs some space right now) and slides out of the booth. “Would you like me to do that while you and your  _girlfriend_  take a break?”

Her face grows warm again and Ren chuckles at Haru’s question. “Sojiro’s very picky about who he lets handle his coffee beans.”

The girl smiles in response and they both make their way behind the bar to the coffee siphon. Ann looks over at her, furrowing her brow in worry. “You’re not too upset with us for embarrassing you, are you?”

Her eyes shoot up to meet Ann’s and she shakes her head. “No, not at all. I guess I kind of feel bad for not telling any of you.”

Ann waves her hand dismissively. “You’ve been through a lot,” she replies after noticing that Akechi had joined the rest of the group in the kitchen. “But honestly, I’m not surprised. And I think you guys make a cute couple!”

Her praise only makes her feel slightly better. She watches as Ann gets out of her seat, then turns back to her. “Do you want me to get you a plate or something?”

Makoto shakes her head. “No, I’ll get my own. But thank you.”

Ann nods, then slinks off to join the others. It’s at that moment, Makoto realizes she’s alone. She hasn’t had this empty feeling in her stomach for so long, it’s almost overpowering. She feels dizzy and nauseous, and when she steps out of the booth, she nearly falls back against the table. Her heart is pounding almost painfully, and all she can see is the bright and cheerful aura of the group in front of her fading into nothing.

She feels constricted and in need of fresh air, so she quietly makes her way out of the shop. She’s relieved that no one follows her outside, nor do they seem to know that she had stepped out. She leans her back against the paneling of the building and focuses on finding her breath. She doesn’t want to be out for too long and attract unnecessary attention, but the longer she sits outside, the harder it is for her to catch her breath.

If anything, the loneliness seems to suffocate her even more.

For a split second, she gives in to her anger and curses everyone for their blatant ignorance. Can’t they see that she’s clearly not okay with Akechi being a part of their group?! Why would they do this to her, to make her feel like she’s the evil one because  _she_  can’t forgive him?! Why did Ren have to be a wonderful person? Why couldn’t he just be angry and hate Akechi like she does so she didn’t have to feel so damn miserable?!

She hates herself just as much. She’s the one who can’t forgive Akechi. She’s the one who never will give him the chance. She’s the one who will always hold a grudge over his head, who will never accept him. She will take everything he says and does at face value and look for the catch in  _every single word and act_  until he finally shows his true colors, even if she has to wait for the rest of her life.

She feels the tears on her cheeks before she even realizes she’s crying. Great. Someone is bound to come looking for her now and they’re going to find her crying like a child because she’s weak. She’s the exact opposite of what her friend expect her to be. She thinks about heading home, but also knows that leaving will only create questions she would rather not have to answer. She shakes her head, draws in a few more deep breaths, then wipes her face with her coat sleeve.

She’s about to head back inside when she hears a bell jingle and someone steps outside. She steels herself for the questions and uses all her strength to put a weak smile on her face.

The door shuts and she comes face to face with Ren. He says nothing, but she can see the question in his eyes. “Sorry,” she says as she brushes some hair behind her ear. “I just needed some air. I-I may not have been ready for-,”

“Let’s go for a walk.”

She wants to pull out of his grasp when his hand finds hers, but he has a firm grip on her. She worries that maybe he’s upset with her for either her pitiful answers to her friends’ prying questions or her growing distrust in Akechi, the team, and him.

The latter thought gives her enough energy to pull out from his hold. “I’m okay, Ren.”

She watches him take a deep breath and her heart drops into her stomach. “I know you’re upset, Makoto. I know you don’t want to trust Akechi, but I want you to trust me.”

She laughs weakly at him. “I-I trust you.”

“No you don’t. Because if you did, you wouldn’t be so damn worried about him hurting you.”

She’s taken back by his anger, but he turns to her with sorrow in his eyes. “I get that you’re worried. I really do. I’m not asking you to trust him, or to forgive him. And even though I trust him, I won’t let him get close to you. I promise. So I want you to stop worrying about it.”

Her head falls to her chest. She’s so angry at him for being okay with this, that trust isn’t going to be enough to save either of them if Akechi decides to flip sides again. But she doesn’t want to be angry. She wants to be more like him, to be more open and forgiving and accepting of people’s mistakes.

Who is she kidding? She will never be like Ren. She will never be good with words, with people, with feelings like he is.

“I don’t want to start an argument on a day where we should be celebrating, but Ren…you’re making me feel like  _I’m_ the bad guy. That you guys are all mad at me because I can’t forgive him for putting a gun to my head and trying to kill me! Or that it had originally been meant for  _you!_ ”

“I understand that, Makoto, but-,”

“But you  _don’t_  understand, Ren. Because if you did, you wouldn’t tell me to stop worrying. And that’s why I can’t trust you.”

Her words echo loudly in her own ears and she’s immediately filled with shame. His eyes narrow at her to challenge her statement, and she looks away.

“You don’t trust me?”

She bites her lip, but Ren steps closer to force her to look up at him. “You don’t trust me?”

She knows she needs to respond, but every time she opens her mouth, her words die on her tongue. He finally steps back, releases his breath, then turns away. “Fine. I just thought I could put some faith in you to see the good in people. I know that’s asking a lot, but you told me you would try.”

“He’s going to betray us, Ren.”

He doesn’t turn around when he speaks to her. “You can come back to the party if you want, or you can go home, since you don’t trust me to keep you safe around Akechi. I won’t stop you.”

She runs up to him and grabs him by the arm. “Do you know what you’re asking of me?”

He pulls his arm out of her hold. “I didn’t think I was asking anything for you to trust me.”

“Ren,” she begins as he starts walking off again. “I don’t think it’s a lot to ask of you to tell him he can’t be a part of the group.” His mouth opens, but she cuts off any reply. “You can be his friend and you can help him get over his issues if that’s what you wish. But I’m not comfortable with him being around us. And if you can’t see that, then  _I’m_ going to leave.” His eyes widen and he stiffens in his place. She comes to stand in front of him, her own words slicing her heart to pieces, but she can keep up her charade no longer.

Instead of answering her threat, he chuckles. “That’s pretty selfish of you, don’t you think?”

His words sting, but she presses on. “Call it whatever you want, but I’m not okay with this.”

“So  _this_  is how you want to resolve it? By threatening to leave the team?”

She looks down at the ground. “How else am I supposed to tell you how badly this scares me?”

She hears him shuffling around in front of her. She glances up at him to see his hands running through his hair in frustration, his face scrunched up in anger. She feels terrible, and she’s about to tell him as much when he speaks.

“Fine.” He drops his hands to his side. “We will talk about it tomorrow after school. We can decide as a team what to do about it.”

As much as she tries to deny it, she’s extremely upset by his decision. The group can make the ultimate decision, but  _her_  word isn’t good enough? It’s selfish of her to think it, yes, but she still can’t get past the fact that he’s not caring about her feelings and is too invested in proving to her that Akechi has changed, that he’s a good guy now…

“Are you coming back to the party or not?”

She clenches her hands at her side and refuses to make eye contact. “Do you want me to?”

He sighs. “That’s not what I asked you.”

His comment tells her that no, he doesn’t want her to, and it snaps the last string holding her together. “Why?”

He turns around to face her and cocks in eyebrow in confusion. “Why what?”

Tears spill onto her cheeks again as she closes her eyes. “Why won’t you do this for me? I thought you loved me, and that you didn’t want anyone to hurt me again, but you can’t do this?”

“You’re the one who doesn’t trust me, Makoto. I promise you that he’s not going to hurt you.”

She screams at him. “You can’t promise me that! You can’t promise that he’s not going to kill me, or kill you, or any one of us! You’re giving him a free pass into the group, Ren! You may as well supply him with the gun, too!”

“Stop it.”

“Why can’t you see that?! Would you rather give him the chance to kill one of us, or would you rather-,”

“ _Enough!_ ”

“I see this in my nightmares, Ren!” She holds her hands close to her heart as her chin comes to rest on top of them. Her voice is weak and pathetic, but she’s hurting, and scared, and the one person she had been able to rely on may not even _care_. “Sometimes, I can’t convince you he’s evil, and he kills you in front of me. Sometimes, I believe you, and when I drop my guard because of it, he kills me.” She closes her eyes tightly, her entire body shaking. “Sometimes, you get so angry because I haven’t accepted him that you _let_ him kill me.”

She’s hesitant to lift her head, but he’s silent for far too long. His eyes are closed, his lips tugged downwards in a frown. He tilts his face down, clenches his hands at his sides, and his body shakes with rage or remorse, she’s not sure. Maybe now he can understand her reluctance to trust Akechi.

“And what if he’s really changed?” He’s so quiet that she barely hears what he says. “What kind of person would I be if I turned away someone who has proven they want to be better? It would go against everything I stand for, and yet you want me to change that? To just, let someone suffer when I know there’s something I can do to help?”

Her voice comes out a weak whisper. “And what about me?” She wipes her tears. “I know that you’re always willing to help people, but at what cost? Are you really trying to tell me that you would throw my feelings out to help someone who’s already betrayed us once?”

He stares at her for the longest second, then he turns his head. “I don’t know what you want me to say, Makoto.”

She bravely grabs his hand to gain his attention. “I want you to tell me what you would do, even if it’s not what I want to hear.”

The moment he closes his eyes, she drops his hand. She knows his answer. Now, she doesn’t want to hear it.

He grabs her arm before she has a chance to run off. “We will talk about this with the group tomorrow. If they all feel the same, I will tell Akechi he can’t come with us anymore.”

She laughs because she’s tired of crying. “Their opinion is more important to you than mine?”

His grip tightens. “That’s not what I’m saying. I just…I think it’s a way we can both meet in the middle.”

“Just like your decision to tell Akechi we were dating before our friends?”

Ren flinches at her tone, releases her arm, then shakes his head. “I didn’t tell him, I swear. Or, do you not trust me with that, either?” Her face begins to burn in embarrassment for even asking. His eyes narrow a fraction of an inch, waiting for her response.

She only mutters a soft apology and she hopes he understands. They both stand in front of each other for the longest time, but Ren shuffles in front of her and it causes her to look up at him.

“So, are you coming back or not?”

She drops her gaze to the ground again. “I-I think it would be best if I went home.” She doesn’t lift her head as she turns her back and begins walking to the station. She’s surprised when she hears his footsteps come up behind her and he spins her around by her shoulder.

“I want you to come back.”

“I don’t want to be with you right now.” He recoils at her remark and she brushes his hand off her shoulder. “You’ve upset me, Ren, and now I would like my space.”

She prides herself for a half a second for being honest, but she becomes conflicted when Ren grabs her wrist. “Please, I want you to come back. You can stay tonight and we can talk this over some more so you don’t have to feel like this.”

She’s touched by his attempt, but she really just wants to go home. “There’s nothing left to talk about.”

“Then…” When he trails off, she pulls her hand from his and starts to walk away again. “Are you breaking up with me?”

His question and the way he says it stops her in her tracks. Is she? If the vote doesn’t go her way tomorrow, is she going to have the heart to stick around? Is she in the wrong for holding this as leverage to get her way? Does that make her even worse of human being?

She doesn’t turn around because she’s afraid to face him. “D-do you want me to?”

His arms come around her before she can realize he’s behind her. He presses his face into her hair and tightens his grip. “No, I don’t.”

She allows him a few minutes to hold her, but she’s still hurt and upset. “Then, no, I’m not. However,” she continues, turning around to face him despite the tears in her eyes. “I hope you will grant me my space tonight.”

He lowers his head and his hands find their way into his pockets. “Will you let me know when you get home, at least?”

She simply nods her head, but his voice stops her again. “I love you, Makoto.”

She only wishes she had the heart to believe him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few notes: I hate writing Akechi.
> 
> I'm also trying to tie this story with scenes from the game, and I worry I'm not quite doing it right. Writing Sae's thought process was hard. Writing the scene with Akechi and his cognitive self was hard. I spent days editing them enough to where I thought it was acceptable.
> 
> And then when I was proofreading this chapter for the final time, I thought I made Makoto too selfish, even with her state of mind. I try to remedy that in the next chapter, but...I'm still a little critical...
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading!!


	13. Chapter 13

Ren can’t bring himself to enter Leblanc, so he walks around the block a few times instead. His feet are heavy, his heart heavier, and he’s sure the scowl on his face is frightening the people he passes on the streets.

He constantly checks his phone for a text from Makoto. Is she really that upset with him? Is she really going to text him when she gets home? Should he have just walked her home instead of letting her go by herself? He knows he’s hurt her, but damn it, he’s upset too. He never thought that something would ever come up in their relationship that could not be fixed by talking about it.

She’s scared, and he can understand that. He will never let anything, or anyone else, harm her again. However, he cannot simply stand aside when someone needs help. If he were to turn away Akechi now, chances are, he could snap and take them all out in his anger. Akechi already knows their plans, where they all meet and when they meet, so he doesn’t understand why kicking him off the team would make Makoto less apprehensive.

But, Akechi’s changed, right? Even if he does ask him to leave for Makoto’s sake, Akechi should respect that…

But that’s not what’s bothering him the most.

She doesn’t trust him. _That_ stings like a bitch. He kicks the ground beneath him, but he sure as hell doesn’t feel any better. How can she love him but not trust him? _Does_ she still love him? How can she tell him that she’s okay with this one day but not the next? Is this what Sojiro always complains about when he says, “girls are complicated”?

Speaking of Sojiro, he needs to get back before they all start to worry, assuming they haven’t already. He reaches the shop and pulls open the door, trying to push all his doubts and heart-clenching worry out through his weak ass smile. The entire group halts what they are doing, look up at him, and wait patiently for an explanation.

He offers them nothing.

Morgana jumps onto the closest table. “Where have you been?”

Ren slips past the table where Morgana sits, but he doesn’t make it past Ryuji. “Dude, the hell’ve you been?”

He sheepishly rubs the back of his head, which Haru interprets the wrong way. “Ah, you and Mako-chan needed your ‘space’, yes?”

Morgana laughs behind him. “Guess I’m staying with Futaba tonight?”

Everyone cracks a smile at the jest, and Ren uses it as a chance to slide into the kitchen for some food. Sojiro, however, corners him between the stove and the counter just as he spoons some curry onto his rice.

“If that’s true, where is the girl?”

He’s caught, but he also doesn’t have the heart to come clean with Sojiro. “She wasn’t feeling well, so I took her home.”

Regardless of if the man believes him or not, he walks around the bar to take his seat at the first chair he can. Ryuji doesn’t even give him a second to fill his stomach before he starts nagging on him.

“So, she a good kisser?”

He leers at his friend, but it only makes the blonde’s smile widen. “Can we not talk about this, please?”

“C’mon man, it’s every guy’s dream to be with a beautiful lady!”

He brushes his arm off his shoulder. “I’m trying to eat.”   

“How far have you gone with her?”

“Damn it, Ryuji, stop it.”

His friend leans back in apparent shock, but Ren can see the sparkle in his eyes that suddenly makes him not hungry. “Oh, _shit_ , man! For real?!”

Ren pushes his chair back and slams his fists into the counter. “Stop it!”

Everyone’s eyes are on him again, but it’s Akechi’s voice that pushes him over the edge. “Is everything alright, Ren?”

“No, nothing is alright!” He turns on the group, each of their eyes widening in surprise. It makes him stop just as his words reach the back of his tongue. It doesn’t stop the questions from rolling around in his mind. Did they notice that Makoto had in fact been suffering this whole time? Did they help calm her down because this had been his idea and she hadn’t wanted to confront him? Did _they_ trust him? Are they upset with him about his befriending Akechi and keeping their thoughts silent for his sake?

Ren has never doubted his friends, but at that moment, that’s all he can do.

He drops his head and turns to Akechi, keeping his voice quiet. “Actually, I would like to talk to you.” He then turns towards the rest of them, all still slack jawed from his earlier outburst. “I’m sorry, but you guys really need to stop hounding me and Makoto about our affairs.” He wants to ask if they all trust him to put his mind at ease, but he doesn’t.

“It was all in good fun, but…sorry,” comes Ann’s apology.

Futaba only rolls her eyes. “Shoulda told us first then.”

“Is that why she’s not here?”

He ignores Haru’s question and leads Akechi out the front door. Once the door closes behind him, he points his head to a quieter spot a few feet away. He doesn’t want his friends to see their conversation, just in case someone interprets something the wrong way. He also doesn’t want to feel their eyes on him. It’s going to be hard enough finding the right words, so he’d rather not deal with the added pressure of their stares.

“What’s wrong?”

Ren cuts to the chase. “I don’t know an easy way to tell you this, but…” He pauses as he takes a deep breath. “I can’t have you on the team anymore.”

He expects Akechi to be upset or downright angry. However, the boy only smiles. “I was wondering when you were going to tell me that.”

He blinks at Akechi. “What?”

The teen chuckles at him. “Ren, you’re a good guy, but sometimes I think you try to please too many people and you end up hurting the ones you’re closest with.” He folds his arms over his chest. “If Makoto has been upset with you about this, and you’ve chosen to ignore her feelings, then perhaps I have misjudged you.”

Ren takes a step back at his words. Had this been what Makoto had been trying to tell him earlier? Why did it suddenly dawn on him when Akechi had said it? “I-I didn’t know she was so angry about it until…an hour ago.”

He feels terrible. He has no right to be mad at Makoto. She really shouldn’t trust him. Not when he had ignored any signs that he should have picked up on. How many nights did he wake up to see her through her nightmares? And then come to find out that _he_ had been the cause of some of them? It rips his heart into pieces. It also kills him that _Akechi_ had been the one to get through to him.

“I’m sorry,” Ren says after running a hand through his hair, trying to keep his composure intact so Akechi doesn’t question him further. “You’ve been a great help to us, and I hate to just act like we’ve been using you.” He notices the way Akechi twitches at his comment, then adds, “But I hope this isn’t the end of our friendship.”

Akechi offers a warm smile. “You really are something else, Ren.”

“You’re the one who had to go to great lengths to prove yourself.” He extends his hand and Akechi looks down at it for the longest time. “I trust you, which is why I feel like I can ask this of you.”

The teen reaches out and shakes his hand. That proud moment is short lived, however, because Akechi grins and leans into him. “Just promise that you won’t kill my father.”

Ren pulls away and Akechi looks down at the ground before he continues. “If you manage to change — no, _when_ you change his heart, I want to talk to him. Maybe then we can have a relationship befitting a normal family.”

Ren smiles, but says nothing. The expression on Akechi’s face is solemn, but there’s a shine to his eyes that tells him the teen’s wounds are healing. If Shido changes and is repentant like all of the others, he’s sure that Akechi will finally gain that admiration from his father he has spent his entire life trying to achieve. He would rather it be done through means of talking, but, as he’s coming to learn, talking does not always solve everything.

 “We won’t let you down.”

Akechi returns his smile and points back towards Leblanc. “The night is still young. How about we seal our friendship with a game of chess?” 

-.-.-

When Makoto closes the front door to the apartment, she takes a moment to lean her forehead against it and try to collect herself. She may have cried on the walk home, but thankfully no one had been walking around. She clutches the phone in her hand, knowing she needs to send Ren a message so he knows she’s home, but a part of her really wants to throw the phone out the window and go to bed.

She’s hungry, but she only wants to curl up under her blankets and sleep until all of her problems are gone.

“You’re home late.”

Makoto jumps in her place, dropping her phone to the floor. She quickly turns around to find Sae sitting on the couch in front of her laptop. While she races to catch her breath, a thousand questions fire through her mind. Why is she home? Is she working? Is she angry with her for being gone for a few days? Does she even know she’s been gone for a few days? Is she still upset with her from their last argument? Does she know Ren’s hurt her and now she’s upset about that?  

“You don’t need to be afraid of me, Makoto.”

She shakes her head and bends down to pick up her phone. “You just startled me, is all.” She notices Sae staring intently at the screen in front of her. “Are you working on a case?”

When her sister doesn’t reply, Makoto drops her head. She decides that a shower and bed will be the best remedy at the moment, but a part of her would like to know if she’s staying or leaving. She doesn’t want her to leave, given her state of mind, but she also feels like Sae’s presence is suffocating her. “Um, are you going to be heading out to work tonight?”

Sae shakes her head. “No, there’s something more important I need to do.”

“Oh.”

Then, Sae stands up and Makoto is sure she’s about to leave. If it’s not to go to work, she has no idea where she would be going, but…

“We need to talk.”

Uh-oh. She’s really not in the mood for another heart-wrenching conversation with someone she loves. “C-can we talk tomorrow, maybe? I-I’m really not in the-,”

“Look at me, Makoto.” She does, because her sis can be extremely intimidating. “I know I haven’t been there for you in the past, but I want to now. I want you to talk to me about what’s bothering you, about your relationship with Ren, even if I don’t approve or agree.” Sae places a hand on her shoulder and she can feel her lips trembling. “You’re all I have left and I don’t want you to see me as the enemy. I want you to see me as your sister.”

Makoto falls to her knees and sobs into her hands. Sae lowers herself to the floor as her arms wrap around her shoulders. Sae says nothing to her, but she remains holding her, rubbing her back up and down, helping to comfort her.

Once she feels she’s cried enough, she leans back in her sister’s arms and wipes her face. “I’m so sorry I made you feel that way, Sis.”

She pats her on the head with a smile. “I wasn’t there for you to make you think any differently.” Sae rises to her feet, offering her hand to help Makoto to hers. She takes her hand and follows her sister to take a seat on the couch.

“So, what’s bothering you right now?”

She knows better than to elude her sister or play dumb, so she blurts out, “I had a fight with Ren.”

She notices the way Sae’s face flinches in anger, but her sister’s tone is surprisingly soft. “What was it about?”

That, however, Makoto needs to lie about. She tries to make her voice as smooth as possible. “I called him out on something that I shouldn’t have, and then he said something to me that upset me.”

“Makoto, don’t lie to me.”

She suddenly wishes she could become one with the couch. She should have just stayed with Ren. “Um, I don’t want to talk about it.”

She watches her sister sigh, then she leans her head back and looks up at the ceiling. “I think Dad would have sided with the Phantom Thieves.”

The statement causes Makoto to double over. Sae _never_ brings up their father, and to hear her talk about him so casually makes her head spin. The fact that she mentions him _and_ the Phantom Thieves in the same sentence sends a shockwave through her body that brings a fresh set of tears to her eyes.

“W-what?”

“And I think that’s why you joined them as well.”

At this, Makoto stands from the couch in horror. “W-what?!”

“Sit down.”

Makoto’s brain is spinning too fast for her to comprehend what is happening. She can’t think, she can’t breathe, she can’t do anything but stand like a fool in the middle of her own living room.

Sae grabs her hand and pulls her back down onto the couch with a simple tug. “Listen to me. I may not have fully believed that you were involved, but I do now.” Her grip tightens when she tries to pull away. “I may not like it, and it scares me to know what kind of trouble you’ve gotten yourself into, but this is my job.”

Oh, god, she’s going to _arrest_ her?! She scrambles for a plan of escape. Lord knows what she’s going to say in an interrogation room with people scarier than Sae! But where can she run? Ren? That would be the first place Sae would check. Does she know about the others? Are any of them safe now? Did Akechi say something to her as some sort of payback for not trusting him?

“Calm down, Makoto.”

“A-are you going to arrest me?”

Makoto feels like the room caves in on her, that the air gets sucked out of her lungs and she leans forward under the weight of the realization. Sae catches her by the shoulders and holds her at arms-length.

“You’re my sister, Makoto. I’m not going to arrest you.”

A few tears fall from her eyes. “A-are you going to arrest my friends?”

She doesn’t know what to make of Sae’s smile. “No.”

She jerks out of her hold. “But this is your job! You said you would get a promotion if you caught them!”

“You’re my sister, Makoto, and that means it’s my job to protect you.”

Makoto’s eyes widen and her hands fly to cover her mouth. “W-what?”

Sae comes to stand in front of her, replacing her hand back on her shoulder. “It’s my job to protect you. And I want to help you. But, in order for me to do that, I need to _understand_ what it is you’ve been doing.”   

She’s hesitant at first. Is this a trick Sae is trying to use to solicit information out of her to use against Ren? Sae has been hungry for this promotion for months, so how badly does she still want it? Is this her sister being greedy, or is she maybe trying to drive a wedge between her and Ren so she doesn’t have to deal with him anymore?

When Sae exhales loudly, Makoto feels a pang of regret in her heart. “I can understand your hesitation, but I need you to trust me.”

Makoto’s hands fly up defensively. “N-no, that’s not…I-I do trust-.” Something dawns on her. She does trust Sae, and she does want to stop being so secretive with her sister. But, would Ren hold the same level of trust, knowing he’s one step away from jail and Sae could easily hold this over his head? Would telling him that she believes in Sae, that she would never do anything vindictive against him, would that be enough? Would he still be willing to trust her, even if he’s not comfortable with Sae?

She suddenly feels like her anger towards him about Akechi is unjustified and selfish.

She sets her shoulders and looks Sae dead in the eye. “I do trust you, Sis.” She will tell her what she needs to know and hopefully leave out names, just in case. Not that she doesn’t expect Sae to _know_ , but it will help her to feel as if she’s still protecting Ren and her friends.

So she does. She explains to Sae about the Metaverse, the Palaces, how the calling cards work. Whether or not her sister actually believes her is hard to tell, but she listens very intently to every word, to each story she has to tell. The only story she’s really able to avoid all together is Madarame.

Once most of the details have been laid out before Sae, her sister folds her arms and leans back into the couch. “It’s hard for me to believe all of this.”

“W-well, it’s kind of hard to believe it without seeing it for yourself.”

There’s a pause that creates an unbearable amount of tension between them. Sae keeps her eyes ahead of her, staring out into the living room. Makoto grows restless in the silence and finally breaks through it.

“Um, is something wrong?”

Sae’s not one for holding back, but in that moment, she struggles. Makoto watches her uncomfortably as she leans forward and rests her elbows on her legs. A few painful seconds go by before Makoto calls out to her sister, but Sae doesn’t meet her eyes.

Just when she thinks she’s going to be crushed under the pressure, Sae looks at her with an expression she hasn’t worn since their father died. “Did you ask them to change my heart as well?”

Suddenly, Makoto wants the silence back. She drops her head to her chest to hide the fearful expression she’s wearing and the tears that threaten to fall from her eyes. She bites her lip to keep any words or sounds from escaping that could alert her sister of her worry.

She’s terrified of her sister’s reaction, but she’s not sorry for her actions.

Sae’s quiet laughter brings Makoto’s eyes up to look at her. “All I wanted was for you to study, to get into a good school, to have the education you would need to better yourself for your future.” She pauses, but Makoto can see a sad smile on her face. “I wanted all of that for you, because I thought it would make you happy. But,” she laughs again, and Makoto holds her breath. “I’m beginning to think that I didn’t say that so _you_ could be happy, but so that I didn’t have to invest my time in you.”

When Sae throws her face into her hands, Makoto is immediately at her side. “I-I’m sorry. I should have tried to talk to you, but I-,”

“I’m proud of you, Makoto,” Sae says when she pulls away. “But at the same time, I’m scared. Because you’re growing up and I never once got a chance to watch you turn into the person you’ve become. If you wouldn’t have been brave enough to hand me that calling card, you wouldn’t have been taken. You faced _all of this_ because of _me_.”

For a moment, Makoto can’t tell if Sae is upset or angry, or both. Her sister places a hand over one of hers resting on her leg. When she smiles with tears lining her eyes, Makoto is sure she’s going to cry, too.

“Thank you,” Sae chokes out weakly. “For reminding me of who I am.” Makoto throws herself into her sister, which prompts another soft laugh from Sae. “I hope you can forgive me for everything I’ve done.”

Makoto is too overcome with emotions that she can only nod her head in return. Sae hugs her tightly and whispers a quiet, “thank you,” into her hair.

Neither of them say another word for the rest of the night, but Sae loves her, and that’s all she needs to know.

-.-.-

Ren is extremely hard to find the next day after school. Makoto had every intention of waking up early to speak with him before school, but she, embarrassingly enough, forgot to set an alarm. Had Sae not checked in on her, she likely would have missed the first half of classes.

She owes him an apology for a few reasons. As her eyes scan the hallways after the last bell, she’s worried that he’s far too upset with her and he is purposely trying to avoid her. She goes as far as to confront Ryuji, who stands at the second-floor staircase as usual, but he offers no help. She wants to send him a message, but she worries it will be off-putting since she had not said anything to him the night before.

But, she’s out of options, so she finds herself walking back to the third floor to the student council room so she can craft her masterpiece in silence. Then, the library door opens and she comes to stand before Ren, who is holding a book under his arm and a shocked look in his eyes.

She releases a breath and some of the tension eases in her shoulders. “I-I’ve been looking for you…”

His face suddenly goes blank. “Oh? I see you made it home last night.”

His sarcasm is hard to miss and the tension returns to her shoulders. “I-I want to talk to you, please?”

Ren continues to stand in front of her with a lifeless look in his eyes, then he shrugs his shoulders. Morgana pops out of his bag, startling her, and disappears without saying a word.

“Yeah, I guess that’s fine.”

Worried her voice is going to crack, she grabs his hand and pulls him into the student council room. Once the door is securely closed behind her, she takes a deep breath. “I’m sorry.”

He acts as if he doesn’t hear her as he places himself on a nearby chair. He doesn’t make eye contact with her once he’s seated, but she knows she has his attention.

“I-I know this may be too late to say, Ren, but…I do trust you. So if you tell me that Akechi is good, then I will believe it as well.”

Ren’s eyes grow wide for a second, then he turns to her. “W-what?”

She meets his eyes because she needs him to know she’s not wavering anymore. “I trust you. If you trust Akechi, then I will, too.”

She’s a bit taken back when his expression darkens and he frowns. “I already told him to leave.”

Now it’s her turn to be surprised. “W-what?”

He slams his hands down on to the table. “Yeah, because I get it. I shouldn’t have questioned you the way I did. He took it rather well, saying that he’s been expecting it for some time. So when the calling card is ready, he’s not coming with us. But I don’t give a damn about that!”

Makoto feels incredibly insecure and even smaller when Ren stands from his seat and approaches her. “I spent all night wide awake hoping to hear from you. But after hours went by, I thought you were done with me. So, damn it, if you are, just tell me!”

“N-no!” She holds up her hands to silence him when she thinks he’s about to speak again. “I’m sorry I didn’t message you. I-I actually had a talk with my sister.”

The minute the words reach his ears, he falls back down into the seat. He runs his hands through his hair and keeps his face down to the ground. “She still hate me?”

Makoto has no idea how she’s going to tell Ren that she had actually talked about their group. Seeing that he’s on edge already, she knows it’s not something she wants to bring up now. But, he deserves to know. She doesn’t want to feel as if she’s betraying his trust, especially since their relationship seems to be falling apart.

She steels herself. It’s not going to be easy, but he needs to know. “A-actually, she knows about…us, and our friends.”

A smile forms on his face, but he’s far from happy. “I thought she already knew about us and our friends…” His head pops up immediately and he looks horrified. “W-wait. She knows about… _us?_ ”

Makoto only nods her head. To her surprise, Ren seems to take the news very well. He frowns, but other than that, he’s fairly calm. “What did you tell her?” he asks, almost too quietly.

She becomes nervous, afraid that he’s suppressing anger and she’s going to be faced with it all in one, blinding moment. “Um, I told her what I knew…” When he sighs, she adds, “I didn’t mention any names, but…I think she knows anyway.”

He looks defeated and her stomach starts to churn. She continues her defense in his silence. “This may sound cruel, but I trust her, and…if you still trust me, then I hope you know she doesn’t plan on going to the authorities. She wants to help.”

She walks up to him, kneels in front of him, and grabs his hand laying at his side. “Ren, I know how you felt last night, when you asked me to trust you. I know it’s horrible for me to say it now, but asking you to trust me when I say my sister means no harm is very shallow since I couldn’t do the same for you. But,” she trails off as she looks down to the floor. “I just wanted you to know that I’m sorry, and I will understand if you’re upset with me.”

She stands and waits for a reply, but when none comes, she holds her arm in her hand and tries not to cry. “I should have asked you first, but I was scared and she means so much to me and-,”

“Stop.”

Oh, she’s going to cry now. Ren closes his eyes and rubs his face with his hands. When he stands again, her heart clenches in her chest because she knows he’s going to walk away. This is the end. She may have her sister back in her life, but Sae will never be able to fill that gap that Ren had been able to.

So naturally, when he grabs her chin in one hand and wraps his other arm around her to pull her into him, she braces for the worst. But then he kisses her, more roughly than she admits is acceptable in public. However, it only makes her more apprehensive. Is this a goodbye kiss? Is this his way of saying he’s angry and hurt and he wants her to _feel_ that? Should she push him away, even if a small part of her is enjoying it?

He’s the one who breaks it off, but he soon buries his face into her neck. Both of his arms hold her tightly against him. “Sorry,” he whispers against her, taking her by surprise. “But, gods you make me so frustrated and angry sometimes.” She swallows hard, hoping that this isn’t headed where she thinks it is. “But all you have to do is tell me you’re sorry and I’ll forgive you every time.”

Hearing this, she drops her head to his chest to mask the tears falling from her eyes. “I really am sorry, Ren.”

He kisses the side of her head. “I don’t really think you have much to be sorry about.” He kisses her again. “It hurt a lot when you said you didn’t trust me, but after talking to Akechi last night, I might have realized that I _was_ asking a lot of you to allow him back. I should have read your body language and not your words just because you said what I wanted to hear.”

He leans back, but his arms are still secured around her. “So, maybe you were right in not trusting me, because I was selfish. I wanted you to see what I saw in him, but,” he says quietly, his fingers brushing along the side of her head to the area she had been shot at. “I will never forget what he almost took away from me, and that’s why I told him to leave last night. I didn’t want my faith in him to take you away from me for good.”

She smiles at him, even though there’s tears on her face. “I don’t want you to ever think I hate you.”

He chuckles at her and holds her face in both of his hands. “Then tell me you love me.”

She doesn’t hesitate. “I love you, Ren.”

“And I love you, so much, Makoto.” He kisses her forehead, then he grabs her hand and steps away from her. “Do I need to ask your sister if you can stay with me tonight?” She feels her face grow warm when he winks at her. “After all, I didn’t get to wake up next to you this morning, and I feel you owe me for that.”

She throws her free hand into her face while Ren laughs beside her.

-.-.-

“They’ll be sending the calling card tomorrow, and then they have twenty-four hours to do their job.”

A cackle resonates in his ear. “You’ve done well. There will be a great reward in this for you if we succeed.”

The line goes dead. Akechi lowers the phone and places it on the desk where he sits. He had wanted this for so long, the chance to prove his worth to his father so he could drop his guard and he could kill him. He had wanted the chance to defeat Ren, to show him that some people cannot be saved, and that others deserved to die. The look of sorrow and disbelief on the boy’s face would be his trophy, a prize he could frame and place on his wall with his other awards he has achieved throughout his years.

He _had_ wanted those things, but now, he’s empty, confused, and scared.

He had just sold out the people who had been kind enough to call him a friend. He wants Shido’s blood because he hates the man. He wants a little of Ren’s, too, but because he’s jealous of him. But he sincerely doesn’t desire to spill anyone else’s. Being welcomed by them had scarred his pride, but the longer he had spent time with them, the more he began to want it. Friends. The feeling of being accepted by someone. Despite all he had done, they had shown him the error of his ways by giving him a place to belong.

He grabs at his hair. He’s so angry, but he doesn’t know where to direct his anger. He wants to be angry with Shido, the bastard who had used him his entire life. He wants to be angry with Ren, who had brought war to his emotions. But he knows who he’s angry with the most.

Himself.

All he had wanted was one chance to beat Ren, to prove that there had been something in his life he could be better at. So far, all he had beaten him at was in the desire for blood, but he’s willing to bet that Ren wants his blood just as badly as Akechi wants Shido’s.

In the battle of intelligence, Ren had outsmarted him.

In the battle of charisma, Ren had outmatched him.

In the battle of rage, Ren had outdone him.

In the battle of compassion, Ren hadn’t even had to try.

How can one human have so much to _hate_ but still want to _love?_

Akechi growls at nothing. He knows why. Because Ren is Ren. Had Akechi lived the teen’s life, he would probably still find something to hate, someone to get even with. Had Ren lived Akechi’s life, the boy would have found a way to accept everything and try to reach out to others in his position.

His fists slam against the desk several times. He hates Ren, more than he hates Shido. Ren can’t change him. He _won’t_ change him. There is no future for him unless he can reconcile the past. The only way he can reconcile the past is to put Shido in his grave.

And if Ren gets in his way, he’ll see to putting him in his grave, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the delay. Life happens. And I have been torn on Akechi’s role for some time now, and this chapter kind of seals the deal. But. Here we go. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It turns out that humans are expected to be able to work 24 hours a day 7 days a week and base their life around their shitty paying job.... You guys keep me going! I honestly cannot stress that enough! Please pat yourself on the back for me.
> 
> Adult drama aside, I was browsing Instagram and found that someone illustrated a scene from my story and I may or may not have fallen out of my seat at work. So, another shout-out to Patchie on Twitter touching work of art that cures my anger!
> 
> One last apology for the delay, so I hope this somewhat makes up for it.
> 
> Enjoy!

Their calling card had been a success.

While Futaba _still_ continues to boast through unending messages, Ren can’t help but feel some degree of anxiety. He knows that tomorrow, they will be heading into Shido’s palace to steal his treasure and change his heart. He must succeed, for his team, and for Akechi.

He never tells his friends this, but he’s ready to finally get resolution for the assault charge. He doesn’t wish to come off as selfish, but that’s the main motivation driving him forward. He wants his so-called friends back home to realize he had been innocent. He wants to see the look of surprise on his parents’ faces when he has proof that he hadn’t done anything wrong. He secretly holds a grudge against the people he had grown up with for believing in such bullshit, for sending him off like he had been some cattle deserving to die in a slaughterhouse.

For the longest time, he really thought that’s what they had done.

“You’re scowling again.”

He snaps to attention as Makoto pokes him in the forehead. He stares at her, slightly dazed for a minute, then he smiles at her. “I’m the only person allowed to do the boop-ing!”

She takes a seat beside him on the couch. “Are you nervous?”

Ren searches for her hand and holds it against his leg. “Maybe a little.”

Truth be told, he’s beyond nervous, but he reminds himself why he’s doing this. He had agreed to a dinner date with Makoto at her place, with Sae. He knows this could very easily backfire in his face, but Makoto had told him to trust her, to trust Sae, and that on the off chance Sae did say something to upset him, she would intervene.

Regardless of Makoto’s intentions, Ren _really_ agrees because she says she will cook for them. How could he turn _that_ down?

But, the moment Sae comes into the room, the walls collapse around him and he’s suddenly regretting it. He tries to break the ice early. “Well, you haven’t killed me yet, so I guess this is a good start?”

He hears Makoto facepalm beside him, but surprisingly, Sae chuckles. “The night is young, Amamiya. They’ll be plenty of time if need be.”

He should be horrified by the comment, but he’s mildly intrigued by it. He stands with Makoto, who gives him the look of _‘be nice’_ and walks into the kitchen. Sae comes to stand in front of him, blocking any chance he could to follow behind Makoto.

“Take a seat.”

He does as he is told and Sae takes a seat on the adjacent couch. He’s usually very good in situations like this, but every time he opens his mouth, nothing comes out. To make it worse, Sae appears to notice and finds it amusing.

“You’re nervous,” she quips, and his heart pounds his ribcage painfully. “It’s a good thing, but not necessary.”

Ren keeps his back straight, not to appear rude or improper. Plus, he’s still nervous. “Can’t say I’ve had the honor of re-meeting my girlfriend’s family before.”

He becomes ice cold inside when Sae glares at him. “Is she your first girlfriend?”

“Yes?” he chokes out, but she is far from ending her interrogation of him.

“And your only girlfriend?”

His laugh is weakened by surprise. “Yes.”

“And what do you see in the future?”

Oh, he has a _wonderful_ reply to her question. But, he doesn’t want to get kicked out before he can have a homemade meal that his adorable girlfriend cooks for him. It doesn’t stop him from trying to test the waters. “That’s kind of vague, don’t you think?”

Sae folds her arms and Ren takes the victory point. “What are your intentions for being with my sister?”

Again, he bites his tongue. “I mean, I love her, so I hope to keep-,”

“What are you going to do when you have to leave?”

Ren stares back at her, dumbstruck. Sae leans forward on her hands and a glare comes to her eyes. “Well?”

He actually hasn’t given his departure a lot of thought. Mostly because he has been too preoccupied with _life_ that he hasn’t looked too far into the future. He needs to be cautious with his reply while also being truthful. Makoto could very well be listening to his response.

He heaves a sigh, copies Sae’s posture, and decides to stop holding back. “Alright. I haven’t thought that far in advance. It’s hard enough to live from day to day, so I try to make the most of it as it comes. But, when I have to leave, it’s going to be hard. However, Makoto is going to be going to college, so I wouldn’t be able to see her every day like I can now.”

He then leans back with a smile. “It will be different, sure, but it will be a chance to grow. I can prove my dedication to her even more by sticking it out while she focuses on school. And, I don’t know if you know this, but there’s a really cool thing that we have now called ‘video chat’ that can let me see _and_ talk to her over great distances.”

He _loves_ the look that comes across Sae’s face. “Don’t get smart with me.”

He waves her off. “I don’t intend on losing her over distance if that’s your concern.” He offers a laugh to prepare her for his next statement. “Actually, depending on how much I like her cooking, I’ll probably marry her tomorrow and we’ll have maybe seven or eight kids, two dogs, a house, oh, and Morgana, who’s my cat. She has to accept him, too.”

Sae almost falls to the floor, but she’s quick to right herself. “And if I don’t approve?”

He shrugs his shoulders. “I’m sure deep down you’re _dying_ to be an aunt.”

If looks could kill, Ren would be cremated on the spot. “And if _she_ doesn’t approve?”

“Sae, you have to understand that I don’t want this tomorrow, or next week, or even next year.” He breaths a little better when Sae’s face relaxes. “You asked me what I wanted in the future, and I very much want your sister to be a part of it. Maybe with one kid and a dog. And Morgana. And the house, because I’m not a fan of the city life.”

He grins, more to himself than to Sae, because he feels very happy saying all of this. “Which means, whether you and I like it or not, _we’re_ going to be a part of each other’s futures.”

Sae chuckles at him. “You seem to be forgetting one crucial detail.”

He swallows hard. “Oh?” Does Makoto not want to get married, or have his kids? He knows she wants to go to college, work her way up through the rankings of police officers, but…that couldn’t be _all_ she wants, right?

“You’re not going to be able to give her any of that when you go to jail.”

Ren falls back into the couch, Sae’s words stinging like a slap to the face. It takes the wind out of his lungs. He had forgotten that Makoto had told Sae about the Phantom Thieves. While Ren wants to put his trust in Sae for Makoto’s sake, he’s half-tempted to bolt out the door.

“I…I guess not.” He doubles over and throws his face into his hands. Does this mean everything is over? His dreams of spending the rest of his life with her will never come true? Why did he accept the invitation to have dinner with Sae? Why isn’t Makoto coming in and telling her sister to back-off?

Why can’t he have _one_ happy ending?

“Why is it that you… ‘steal hearts,’ or however you put it?”

Something tears in his heart because his dreams are fading into black. “What do you want me to say, Sae? I don’t know how it happened, or why it happened, I just…I wanted to help. It’s as simple as that! And now you’re going to _arrest_ me because I have the ability to help people? Then arrest me. Take the one thing I want in my life away from me. Because I wouldn’t change a damn thing. I would do it all over again. If I were to go back and change anything about myself, I never would have met my friends, and I never would be able to be with your sister.”

He rubs his face with his hands, but he’s so upset and distraught that he feels nothing. He feels as if his soul has separated from his body and he’s only going through the motions. He wants to stand, to leave, to run as far away as he can, but he’s far too weak to even pull in a breath.

“Amamiya.”

He groans into his hands, but he refuses to look up at Sae. He had been so happy ten minutes ago, then she has to remind him of the harsh reality that is life. He hates her for it. He hates that she makes him feel like he doesn’t deserve Makoto, or a future with her.

“I have no intention of arresting you. I’m just warning you that it’s a very real possibility.” He lowers his hands and his heart drops into his stomach as Sae smiles at him. “I only ask because I would like to know how to help you.”

Ren sits up slightly, but he’s still just as anxious. “Help me, how?”

Sae leans back and folds her arms. “You mean a lot to my sister, more than you probably realize. You’ve left an impact on her, helped her find herself, and turned her into a person our parents would be proud of.” Sae’s expression drops. “You gave her enough confidence to want to save me. Which, in turn, has me wondering how I can save _you_.”

She holds up her hand to quiet him. “I don’t need to see these mysterious powers you have to know that they work. You, a high school student, a perceived _criminal_ , instilled a desire to change in others, no matter who they were. And all you earn is retaliation and punishment. Yet, you never give up.”

Sae smiles again, this time to herself. “Makoto is all I have left in this life. I don’t want her to grow up. I don’t want her to be dependent on someone else. But if I want her to be anything, I want her to be _happy._ And I will do everything I can to keep her that way, even if that means accepting you.”

Ren watches her stand and fully expects her to grab him by the throat and kill him. But she says, “Makoto may not want seven or eight kids, two dogs, a house, or to deal with your cat, but she wants _you_. Which means I have to find some way of keeping you out of prison.”   

Ren nearly collapses as the pressure lifts off his chest and as a result, he laughs. He really wants to cry, but he’s pretty sure Sae will never let him live that down. However, Sae drops the pressure (literally) right back on him when she grabs him by the collar and pulls him off the seat. “But so help me if you break her heart, I’ll bury your remains in an unmarked grave after feeding your body to hungry animals in the wilderness.”

The image horrifies Ren, but once she releases him, he sighs. “Noted.”

Before Sae walks away, she turns back around to address him. “Also, you better not make me an aunt any time soon.” He breaks out into a smile too big it hurts. “Or I’ll spoil them so much that you’ll hate me for the rest of your life.”

She heads into the kitchen to help her sister, but Ren remains paralyzed where he stands. It’s odd to think of the future like this when he can’t even prepare himself for the next day. However, it helps him to realize that what he’s doing today, tomorrow, next week, will all have an impact on that future he draws for Sae.

Does he want to marry Makoto? Absolutely. If she wants to. In a few years.

Does he want kids? Absolutely. With her. In many more years.

He also wants that house.

And the dog, because he would love to see Morgana’s expression.

“Dinner’s almost ready.”

He’s too emotional right now to hold back, so he walks up to Makoto, pulls her into him, and kisses her fully. He hears Sae’s disgusted growl, but he only separates himself from Makoto because he needs air.

“Can you please not do that in front of me?”

Ren throws his arm around Makoto’s shoulder as she buries her reddening face into his chest. “We can take it somewhere more private, if you’d be okay with that.”

When Sae picks up a knife with a smile, Ren decides he would rather live.

-.-.-

They all meet outside the Diet Building the next afternoon after school.

“Are you guys ready?”

Ren receives a nod from each of his teammates. He promptly pulls out his phone, opens the Metaverse app, and sends them into Shido’s palace for the final time. _The final time_. It’s odd to be one step away from getting justice for what had happened almost a year ago when he had spent so long wondering why it had to happen at all.

But here they are.

This is for the people of Japan. The same people who despise him, his team, what they stand for, but who also deserve the truth.

This is for his friends, who never gave up on him. Who gave him a chance and had accepted him, criminal record and all.

This is for Akechi, who had suffered his entire life at the hands of this man.

This is for him. For the time he had lost drowning in anger, regret, and fearing his own safety in a holding cell.

It’s a powerful feeling, standing inside the closest safe room, knowing that this is all coming to an end.

When they open the door, however, everything changes.

“Holy crap! There’s a lot of readings here guys!”

Out of nowhere, hundreds of shadows appear in front of them. Joker takes his stance in front of the team while Oracle continues to scan the field.

“There’s more coming! A _lot_ more coming!”

“The hell!?”

There’s very little room to maneuver out of harms way. Before Joker can even reach for his mask, something cuts into his jacket and his skin burns. Where the hell did all of these shadows come from? They had secured their infiltration route and they are close enough to the main chamber hall that this shouldn’t be a problem.

Shido should be waiting for them, not sending an army to take them out.

Mona is quick to shout orders to the team. “We have to push through! If we don’t get to Shido’s treasure today, then everything we’ve done is meaningless!”

“Easier said than done, Mona!”

A blast of ammunition drops the team to the ground. Noir stands beside Milday with a smile he has come to expect. “How many shadows can we take out at once?”

He wants to laugh, but he knows that they need to be _saving_ energy, not expending it. “We have to be careful!” Joker calls out to the others. “We have to get there, but we can’t afford to tire ourselves out!”

Oracle cries out from overhead. “Guys, there’s literally too many! There’s no way!”

Fox summons Goemon and freezes a line of shadows to allow them some time to think. “Positive thoughts, Oracle,” he shouts to the girl hovering over them. “Perhaps your negativity could strike down some shadows?”

“What do we do?”

“Mona’s right about pushing through,” Queen says as she looks around the hallway they are trapped in. “But…it’s not going to be easy.”

“Hey, hey! I have an idea!” Skull jumps like a child, hand in the air, waiting for someone to pick him. “I saw it in a video game once and it’s totally bad ass.”

Panther cracks her whip. “We don’t have time to try video game moves when we’re surrounded by shadows!”

“C’mon, let me at least say it!”

Fox unleashes another Mabufudyne while Joker turns to Skull. “What is it?”

Skull jumps back, surprised someone is taking him seriously, but he shakes his head and the sparkle returns to his eyes. “We just hop on Queen’s bike while Noir fires bullets at the shadows with her persona and Fox and Panther can fire their guns because they are the spray type!”

Oracle screams, “That’s so lame!” from above them, but as the shadows break through the second ice wall, Joker turns to Queen.

“I don’t think this is going to work.”

Another ice attack sweeps over the encroaching enemies to buy them more time. Fox turns to them. “I also don’t believe this will keep working.”

“You’re right.” Joker watches Queen summon Johanna, but he _really_ doesn’t like this plan. “It’s the only thing we can try before we’re out of time, Joker.”

What if she tires out carrying them, as many as she can…how many is that? How many of them can actually fit on this persona? She’s going to be at the front, which makes her open to pierce attacks and gun fire that’s aimed at them.

Noir jumps behind Queen and smiles sweetly at him. “Am I taking your place?”

“You can’t carry everyone, Queen,” he replies, trying to keep his desperation out of his voice. “What if you get hurt, or wear yourself out before-,”

She revs the bike to cut him off. “Are you coming or not, Joker?”

He sees the familiar determination in her eyes as Mona takes his seat in front of her. “I’ll protect her, Joker!”

“The ice wall is cracking.” Fox quickly jumps up behind Noir. “Hurry it along, Joker.”

He’s not at all confident this will work, but his friends all seem to think it will. He moves quickly and comes to stand beside Noir. “Could you excuse me for a minute.”

“We don’t have a min-,”

He effectively silences Queen when he lifts her onto his lap and slides back into the driver seat. While it’s not the right place to joke around, he is who he is and can’t help but lean into her ear. “Don’t let me distract you too much.”

Noir and Fox come to sit behind him and his senpai chuckles. “Ah, so you’re a bottom person, are you Joker?”

He wraps his arms around a warming Queen. “C-can we _not_ talk about that right now?!”

As if on cue, the ice wall cracks. Mona releases Zorro, who blasts the enemy away with a Magarudyne. Milady appears next to the group on the bike, Fox and Panther (really, how are they all going to get through the crowd?!) with weapons at the ready.

Skull is the only one who stands off to the side. “I’ll keep up, no sweat man.” He then calls out Captain Kidd, ready to use him if need be.

“You can’t keep up with a _motorcycle_ , Skull!” Oracle shouts.

He just offers her a thumbs up and a grin. “Challenge accepted.”

Mona unleashes another powerful wind spell and Queen drives through the opening he has offered. The hallway has now become their friend, trapping enemies in front of them and allowing them easy access to strike. The shadows seem far too surprised with their tactic, which makes getting through the hallway simple enough.

The turn, however, not so much.

Skull manages to send a blast of lightning to the enemies coming from the other direction as Queen comes to a halt. At first, Joker worries she’s exhausted herself from taking on the load, but as soon as she realizes the group is secure on the bike, she takes off following the spray of bullets. When they reach the doors to the main chamber, she slides to a stop.

Fox jumps off and erects another temporary ice barrier while they all get to work opening the door.

Joker, however, needs a minute to let everything sink in.

How the _hell_ did they pull this off?

A tug on his hand brings him out of his stunned silence, but facing Queen is not easier to do. “The door is open, so let’s-,”

And he kisses her, because _holy fuck_ his adrenaline is through the roof. And maybe riding with her on top of him had _not_ been the smartest move. And maybe that plan had been incredibly stupid and dangerous and he’s happy they had made it out in one piece.

“Beautiful!” is Fox’s reaction as Joker finally pulls away. “You must do this again upon our return. This passion must be captured by my paintbrush!”

Joker ignores him, and everyone else, because right now, all he hears is the sound of his own heart. “Don’t ever do that again,” he whispers angrily, trying to keep a grin from spreading across his face. “Because now I’m far too distracted with wanting to kiss the _life_ out of you!”

He hates the mask she wears right now. He would _love_ to see her blush. “If we get through this, then I’ll let you do more than just kiss, Joker.”

It takes him several seconds to recover enough to enter the chamber.

-.-.-

He knows the route to the main hall by heart, even if it’s not hard to get there. He is surprised by the lack of shadows and goons on his way inside. It’s irritating; he had wanted to summon Loki to kill a few shadows at once.

Maybe he’ll summon him against Shido anyway.

Akechi can hear the sounds of a battle ringing through the halls of the ship. He quickens his pace, knowing that they are likely tiring after having to dodge so many enemies in the ambush. But, he’s glad that they had at least passed that little obstacle. He would hate to come in and find them hurt or dead.

He lies.

He may have been okay with that.

He reaches the main chamber to find Joker (of course) standing with Skull and Panther, attacking Shido’s impressively formed avatar with a pitiful amount of energy. The grin on the shadow’s face only burns his blood even more.

He’ll wipe that smug smile off his face for _good_.

Queen and Mona stand off to the side and appear to be on healing duty, but wearing thin on reserves. Fox and Noir look exhausted from where he stands, and if the bullet holes and layers of frost along his way had been any indicator, they had likely been a major player in their fight to the chamber.

Akechi smiles when Joker takes a hit that makes him double over in pain. He’s impressed with their spirit, especially when Skull lunges at Shido before the shadow can continue his assault on Joker, but he knows they are tired. They can’t keep up the fight much longer.

He decides he has watched them long enough.

He looks down at the plastic sword he wields in his left hand. Ironic, because something he had always dreamed of as a child was being a knight with a sword and saving good guys from bad guys. He laughs softly to himself, then makes his first move.

“Come, Robin Hood.”

His first attack hits an unsuspecting Shido with enough force to knock him back. It catches everyone else’s attention as well, and he can’t help but feel like he’s a beacon of hope as he walks down the isle towards the lower floor.

“It seems you guys need my help after all.”

He hears a unanimous sigh of relief as he makes his way up to the front line. All eyes are on him, but Shido’s are the only eyes he cares about.

And he takes extreme pleasure in the fact that the man is _not_ happy to see him. “Akechi! You pathetic little bastard!”

It’s music to his ears. “Yes, yes, I know you’re _so_ thrilled to see me.”

However, it’s Joker’s voice he hears next. “Why are you here?”

Akechi shrugs his shoulders without turning to face him. “You guys looked like you needed some help.”

“You were the one who sold us out!”

He wants to laugh. They were all so childish and hopeful and _revolting._ “Yes, I did,” he replies as calmly as he can. “And that’s why I’m here.”

Joker’s eyes narrow through his mask as he pushes Panther away as she tries to help him balance himself. “You plan on killing all of us?”

He laughs. “No, actually. But I will if you get in my way.”

Akechi then reaches into the darkest part of his mind, his heart, and takes hold of the anger and hatred that had consumed him his entire life. When he focuses his attention back on Shido, all he sees is red.

“Loki.”

A whirlwind of darkness engulfs him as his persona materializes beside him. Once the aura has faded, he’s left standing in the armor he has come to respect as a part of him. He can hear the horrified gasps of the others behind him. Good. If they’re afraid, they won’t get in his way.

Shido finds something amusing as he chuckles at him. “So you’re here to kill your so-called friends? That’s more like it.”

Akechi’s response is to send Loki flying towards Shido at a high rate of speed, catching the shadow off guard, and creating one hell of a shockwave when his persona slams into him. It deals a great amount of damage. He hears Shido’s cries of pain and Loki pulls back to prepare for another attack.

Loki hits Shido again and the team behind him is momentarily dumbfounded. Either from the power they can _feel_ from the aftershocks, the fact that he’s fighting their enemy, or that he’s officially blown his identity as the “Black Mask” figure, he doesn’t care. Shido’s screams are giving him too much joy right now.

Then comes a magnificent explosion that knocks him off his feet.

The others nearby feel it as well. They all cough as the smoke clears, but they are given little time to recover. Shido comes crashing into the middle of them, smashing the ground with enough force to create an earthquake. He is no longer on his damn lion-griffin-beast, but his dangerous new shape puts Akechi slightly on edge.

Shido glares at him and each of his incoming footsteps sounds like thunder. “You think you can _kill_ me, boy?! I’ll rip you to shreds with my bare hands if you cross me now!”

He swallows an unfamiliar feeling. Desperation? Fear? He knows he’s looking death in the eye in the form of a large muscular man who could, quite literally, rip him to shreds. His persona stands beside him, unfazed and poised to strike again.

Just as he’s about to summon a powerful curse attack, a strong bolt of lightning crashes onto Shido and he falls to his knees. Instead of staring in awe at the fact Skull has perhaps bought him some time to put some distance between him and Shido, he cries out to Loki.

“Eigaon!”

The curse attack hits its mark and Shido’s glare cuts through the flying debris. “You. Little. _Shit!”_

Loki attacks with another Brave Blade, but he’s taken back when Shido catches the attack with his bare hands.

“You’ll regret ever coming here, you bastard!”

“Alice!”

A pale, blonde young girl comes to stand in front of Joker. He is curious as to who this persona is, but the second the girl’s face lifts, he _knows_.

Death. This frail looking child is summoned to _kill_.

Loki falls back to his side and he desperately wants to rush up and stop Joker before it’s too late. If Joker lands the final blow to Shido, he takes everything else with him. Akechi is smart enough to realize he cannot defeat Shido alone, but he wants to be the one to _end_ it.

“Don’t!”

“Get out of the way, or you’ll go with it.”

It’s all the warning he gives and Akechi curses under his breath as he jumps back, hopefully far enough away. The girl’s face contorts into a smile he swears is straight out of a horror movie. Shido turns to the group, but the blinding light has already taken over.

Akechi can only watch in frustration as the deadly attack does exactly what it needs to. Shido falls to the ground in a lifeless heap of muscle and flesh, unmoving as the group waits to see if he’s down for good. They all brace themselves when Shido starts to move and groan, but he knows it’s over.

Joker (and his team, kind of) have taken the joy out of the one thing he had wanted in life, right before his very own eyes. He’s angry, _furious_ even, but there’s little he can do about it now. He meets the group in front of Shido’s stirring body. He keeps his eyes on Shido and does his best to ignore the piercing glare he’s receiving from Joker.

“Y-you’re that kid.”

Skull throws an arm over Joker’s shoulder. “Yeah, that’s right. You messed this kid’s life up pretty bad.”

Akechi internally rolls his eyes. If anything, Ren’s probation had been the best thing to happen to the kid. He should be _thanking_ Shido. He didn’t have the right to finish him off like this!

“I’m not the only kid’s life you messed up.”

The group looks over at him, which prompts Shido to do the same. Akechi suddenly feels small and would rather have the ground swallow him up than to deal with the spotlight. Shido sits up on his knees, turns to him, and to his complete _disgust_ , bows to him.

“He’s right.” His voice is strained and it becomes hard for Akechi to breathe. “I can never apologize enough for what I’ve done to you, Goro. I’m so sorry.” He lifts his face, streaked with tears, and his voice is pleading. “Please forgive me.”

He feels something snap in him. He reacts by laughing. “ _Forgive_ you?!” He continues to laugh because he doesn’t know what else to do. This is why he had wanted to kill him, so he would never have to hear his pathetic apologies and cries for mercy. It’s beyond _insulting_.

The others all take a step forward, but Joker holds up a hand to stop them from getting too close. He respects that. Joker knows he’s probably on the verge of a mental collapse right now. Either that or he’s not sure where Akechi is going to direct his anger when he finally slips over the edge.

“Are you going to kill him?”

Akechi looks over to Joker and the rest of the group. Each one of them wait for his answer, testing his resolution with every second that passes. Shido weeps like a fool next to him. It’s a strange sensation, to have been waiting _years_ for a chance to end everything, and it’s now right in front of him.

Akechi turns his back on the group, who all look like they understand his struggle. They do understand. Each one of them had chosen life as a punishment for those who had wronged them. He could easily do the same for Shido. All he would have to do is walk away. Shido will suffer in his humiliation once he confesses his horrible crimes to the people who had supported him.

But Shido will never suffer appropriately for his crimes. That man is too prominent and powerful and will never see the inside of a jail cell. His devote followers will still praise him. The entire country might not even _care_. Plus, Shido’s judgment day isn’t one that should be decided by peers and citizens.

Akechi will _never_ let someone else decide Shido’s fate. Not the people, not the system, not _god_ , and not the Phantom Thieves.

Someone lifts his hand and places a pin into his palm. “Maybe this will mean more to you.”

He chuckles as Joker steps back to where his friends stand, each wearing a different expression. Mona is the one to break the silence. “The palace will soon start collapsing, so we should-,”

“You will do no such thing.”

Akechi turns and draws his gun. The group before him is stunned, some of them jumping back in surprise. He throws his head back and laughs like the mad man he is.

“You guys are all so _pathetic!”_ He aims the gun at Joker, who doesn’t even blink. Joker expects this, he guesses. Akechi finds it hilarious.  

“You’re not going to shoot me.”

Joker’s tone is calm and quiet. It _infuriates_ Akechi. Now this kid isn’t even afraid of _death?_ Well, he’s willing to bet that Joker will realize his fear when he puts a bullet through his chest before blowing his brains out!

Akechi takes a step closer until the barrel of the gun is over the teen’s heart. “You thought you could save me? You _can’t_ save me!”

His blood begins to boil when he realizes Joker is still unfazed by his threat. “Do it, then.”

A grin forms on his lips. “Always so carefree.” He laughs again and pokes the boy in the chest with the gun. “But this is my victory. You can’t save me if you’re _dead_.”

There’s a flash of something in Joker’s eyes which Akechi can only hope is fear. The next second, however, a loud pop rings in his ear and he feels a horrible burning in his left shoulder. It causes him to drop his gun, his opposite hand coming to cover his wound.

He’s been shot. Nothing fatal, but _extremely_ painful. His eyes fight through the searing pain and find Queen with her revolver aimed at him for another shot. He glares at her, she glares back, but then grabs the fallen gun with his good hand and points it at her.

“I should have killed you when I had the chance, you bitch!”

Something slams against the side of his face and he’s knocked onto his bad shoulder. He’s given little time to counter as Joker slams another fist into the side of his head. The boy grabs him by the scruff of his clothing and yanks him off the ground, shaking him like he’s a rag doll.

“If you so much as _look_ at her again, I’ll kill you!”

Now this pleases Akechi. The rage is back in Joker’s eyes as he throws him back to the ground. A part of him wants to push the teen’s buttons and prove to him that anyone can kill when the rage takes over. Akechi has little to even live for anymore, seeing that Shido is _still_ weeping behind them. He may not be around to watch Ren fall apart after he realizes what he’s done, but, Akechi will _know_ , and that’s good enough.

Fate had other plans. The room begins to shake violently, but Akechi can’t tell if it’s all in his head or if it’s an actual earthquake. He can barely hear the group’s voices over the ringing of his own ears. They seem to be panicking and trying to hurry along, so he assumes the palace is collapsing.

“Get up.”

Akechi resists by falling onto his back and looking up at the ceiling. “I’d rather not.”

To his surprise, Joker continues to stand over him. “I didn’t ask you what you wanted.” He turns to his friends who keep calling out to him, then his eyes land on him again. “Get. Up.”

Akechi chuckles. “You can’t save everyone, Ren. And I’ll be damned if I let you win this last round.”

“What is wrong with you?”

Akechi laughs heartily. “The same thing that’s wrong with you.” He closes his eyes with a smile. “We’re both too stubborn, and I plan on beating you at that.” His eyes open. “It’s been fun, but once I put a bullet in Shido’s head, I have nothing more I want to do with my life.”

Joker glares at him. “You could have been with us!”

Akechi slowly sits up, cringing at the pain in his shoulder. “If you don’t get out of here, you’re going to be killed. And while that would bring me so much joy, I doubt it would bring any to your family or your friends.” He then rolls around Joker to grab his gun again. “I only plan on firing one bullet today, and you’re not the person I want to put it in. But I swear I’ll kill you if you don’t get out of here.”

Joker clenches his hands into fists at his side, then turns his back on him. He doesn’t take off after the rest of the group and Akechi is tempted to put a hole through the back of his head.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t save you, Akechi.”

Joker rushes off, leaving Akechi staring after him and gripping the gun in his hand. He turns to where Shido is now unconscious and rises to his feet. This is it. This is the moment he had dreamt about since he had found his mother’s lifeless body in that room. He can serve his own justice right here, right now, and he can win one battle against Ren. _Everything_ he wants to accomplish in his life can be reached with a pull of a trigger.

He grins as he hovers over his father’s form. He raisies the gun in his right hand. “I’ve been waiting years to show you how much I hate you, Shido-san.”  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've changed Akechi's story so fucking much that I have come to accept that I've failed with him. Also, I can't write action well at all. Failure two. The battle in the hallway was actually a random thought I had after finding a picture with everyone on Johanna...except Ryuji. I decided since I'm kind of falling apart here at the end to just go for it....
> 
> Which also brings me to tell you that I have a sexy surprise for the next chapter!! Maybe then I can redeem myself or just bomb all together.
> 
> (I ramble too much...)
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick word of warning: I crossed a line and wrote that sex scene! Here it is! But, I'll use some lines to let you know where it starts and ends so if you don't want to read it, you don't have to. I did change the rating (I swear too much and this can't be appropriate for teens). I also don't want to get in trouble. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Ren is hardly ever a sad person. But when he is, all other life seems to be drained of happiness and color and it’s the hardest thing Makoto has to deal with. She tries striking up random conversation topics to pull him out of his thoughts as they wait for the train: nothing. She tries squeezing his hand as she sits next to him, hoping that he will at least show a hint of a smile: nothing.

So, she gives him space. She watches him with a light mist in her eyes as his feet carry him towards his transfer to Leblanc and she decides she needs to go home. She doesn’t want him to be alone; _she_ doesn’t want to be alone, but what else can she do? Nothing she could possibly do or say right now will make him _better_.

She hurries to catch him and grabs his hand before she loses her chance to at least wish him a goodnight. “Um, will you let me know when you get home?”

He doesn’t nod, nor does he give her a sign that he’s heard her, so she grabs him by the collar and pulls him down into her face. “Please?”

She recognizes the look in his eyes. It’s the same look of despair and loss that he had worn that night after Okumura’s death. It makes her realize that Ren is only human, that he’s not always going to be happy. He’s been through so much in this past year or two, and it’s times like this that make her feel horrible because she can’t comfort him the same way he could comfort her.

Ren leans back after failing to give her an answer, but she grabs the arm of his jacket, preventing him from taking a step away. “Will you come stay with me tonight?”

He looks right at her, but she knows he’s not _looking_ at her. So, she feels like she’s left with no other choice.

She yanks him by his lapels and kisses him. Roughly. In public. She doesn’t care. She _needs_ him to snap out of his haze, if only for a moment so she can talk to him. He is in shock to some degree; she can feel his shoulders tensing up, but she doesn’t stop. Her hands move into his hair as she lightens up on his lips, slightly hurt that he’s not responding how she had hoped.

It becomes too much for her to think about and she pulls away, dropping her head to her chest to hide the flush to her cheeks. People are probably looking at them, judging her, disgusted by her, but it all would have been worth it had Ren done _something_. There’s building pressure behind her eyes, her nose is burning, her throat is constricting. It’s getting harder and harder to breathe with each passing second.

“I-I don’t know how to make this better, Ren…” She cringes at her own words, not at all what she had wanted to say, but it’s exactly how she feels. “I’m sorry about Akechi. I’m sorry about Shido. I’m sorry about-,”

“Look at me, Makoto.”

His voice startles her, but she doesn’t look up. She hears him approach and she takes a step back. “I-I just…it hurts seeing you like this.”

Both of his hands cup her face and he tilts her head to look up at him. There’s still a hint of sadness in his eyes, but he closes them and leans in to kiss her. It’s brief and not at all as colorful as hers had been, but she can literally feel his grief on his lips.

His arms wrap around her seconds after he pulls away. “I don’t understand how I’m feeling.” He hugs her tightly. “But I know everything will be okay.”

She smiles sadly due to the strain in his voice. He’s usually so confident and positive, so hearing him sound so unsure of himself makes her heart break.

She’s not any good at comforting people, let alone Ren, but she needs to. He needs her right now. “Will you come home with me?”

It’s more dangerous to have him over at her place, given the _last_ time he had been over, but she’s more comfortable. She can move around her own apartment better than she could at Leblanc, even if Sojiro would be kind enough to allow her access to the kitchen and supplies. And, she thinks it might help him escape from his mind a little if he’s away from Leblanc for a night.

Ren never gives her an answer, but he latches on to her hand and she takes it as a sign to lead him back to her place. When they stand outside her door and she searches for her keys, she feels him tense up again. He says nothing about it as she opens the door, but he remains outside the threshold as she steps inside.

“Sis isn’t coming home today, Ren.” She pulls out her phone to the message she had received from Sae right after they had returned from Shido’s palace. “Tomorrow is Election Day, so she has to work on…f-finding…”

“It’s alright.” Ren takes one step and he’s right in front of her, his fingers wrapping around her chin to keep her head up. “Everything is going to be okay.”

Makoto hates herself for showing signs of nervousness and weakness when she needs to be strong for Ren. She nods her head, but he doesn’t let go of her. “R-right.” She tries to pull away from him. “I-I should be saying that to you.”

When he releases her, her heart drops into her stomach. He takes a seat on the arm of the closest couch and Makoto feels the air drain from her lungs. She needs a conversation to start or she’s going to suffocate from the lack of oxygen.

“S-so, um…are you hungry?”

“Not really.”

Her mind keeps racing for ways to keep him talking. “D-do you…do you need something to drink?”

A pause. “No.”

She locks her hands behind her back to keep him from noticing her nerves. She’s in her own apartment, with someone she loves, but she’s never felt more anxious. “Um…do you want to talk?”

Ren sighs and moves to sit down on the couch. “I don’t know what to say.”

She had been hoping to keep him from thinking about all they had been through today, the past few days, the past few _months_. But, maybe if she helps him through his thought process, he will feel better. Then she will feel better. Then she can tell him that everything will be okay and actually _believe_ it.

She comes to stand behind where he sits on the couch and places her hands on his shoulders. He straightens his back at her touch, but he soon relaxes as she works at releasing the tension in his muscles.

“You can tell me what you’re thinking.” She moves a hand up the back of his neck and into his hair, brushing her fingers through his locks. She smiles when he leans back in his seat, his head falling to his chest so she can work better. “Tell me what you’re thinking about.”

He takes several deep breaths as her hands massage his neck and his shoulders. “I’m okay.”

She stops at that and he groans softly. “You’re not okay, Ren.”

She regrets it almost immediately. Ren is quiet for several minutes, not moving, not speaking, but she knows he’s anything but calm. Finally, he throws his face into his hands. Makoto is about to apologize for her remark when he pushes himself off the couch.

“No, I’m not alright. I’m pissed. I’m frustrated. I don’t fucking understand! What the hell did I do wrong?! Why couldn’t I get through to him!? Why the _fuck_ did I trust him at all!?”

He’s hurting, she knows that. But watching him pull at his hair and listening to him curse and yell only makes her grow shy and quiet. “Y-you gave him a chance,” she finally says to break the tension around her heart. “That’s more than anyone else did.”

“And maybe that’s exactly why he didn’t trust us because you never gave him a-,”

He stops, but the damage is already done. He blames _her_ for this. Deep down, she might blame herself for it as well. She doesn’t know if a brighter outlook on Akechi from the start would have really changed anything, but…she’ll never know now.

She lowers her head to hide her hurt from Ren, but she’s pretty sure he can hear it in her voice. “Um, I-I…I’ll g-go get some blankets or…or y-you don’t have to…have to stay...”

She steps away from the couch without looking up at him and rushes out of the living room. Before she can reach her room, Ren catches her by the arm.

“Wait. I didn’t mean that.”

“N-no, i-it’s okay. Because…m-maybe you are right.” She uses her other arm to wipe her face. “I-I never did trust him…”

She feels her body begin to tremble and all she wants to do is hide in her room. Ren stops her again. “You should never have had to worry about that. _I_ made the decision to give him a chance. _I_ kept him up to date with our plans. _I_ trusted him, and that could have cost us everything.” His grip tightens. “I really thought he was going to kill me, that he was going to kill you…but…”

She allows him to turn her around, but her head remains attached to her chest. “I…I wanted to save him. I wanted to show him what it means to have friends who support you, who accept you, like all of you did for me.” His arms snake around her and she collides into him. “And I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t save him. And all I can think about is if I had only reached out sooner, if I tried harder, if I-,”

“Stop, Ren.” Makoto takes a step away from him. She can’t decide if she’s angry at him for thinking all of this, or if she’s upset because all of this has _hurt_ him. “I know you want to help everyone, but you can’t. Not everyone wants to be saved, be it pride or arrogance, but it’s not _your_ fault.”

“I shouldn’t have left him behind.”

She steps into him and glares. “He would have killed you before he came back with you.” She covers his lips with a finger to silence his reply. “But there’s something you can take away from this.” She lowers her hand when he stares back at her in confusion. “You’re stronger now, Ren. Don’t let Akechi’s rejection drag you down and upset you when there’s still so many people who need a great friend like you in their life.” She reaches up and takes his face in her hands. “Let him be a constant reminder that people do need a second chance.” She gives him a quick kiss. “But maybe not a third.”

He stares back at her for a few seconds, then he breaks out into a smile. “And you always say that you’re not good with words.”

Despite the seriousness of the conversation, she feels herself blushing. “I-I’m just stating my opinion.” When he continues to smile at her and look at her with warm and bright eyes, she knows it’s only a matter of time before she loses her ability to speak coherently. “I-I know that, um, y-you’ll be upset for…for a while, but…there’s no need for you to feel less than proud for trying to help him.”

He leans into her and rests his head against hers. “I hope that you can make an exception with me.”

“H-huh?”

“I think you’ve given _me_ more than three chances.”

Her blush deepens. “O-oh. I-I don’t think that applies here.”

When he kisses her, she knows that even if she were to keep a tally, she will always forgive him.

-.-.-

Ren really has no idea how he has managed to snag the most amazing person alive. He thinks maybe it’s good karma, that some higher deity is rewarding him for saving that woman from Shido back home. But, he doesn’t care how it’s come to be; all he knows is that he loves her, she loves him, and there is no challenge he will ever face that will make him change his mind.

Akechi _may_ have been one hell of a test of that bond, and he may still be a bit shaken, but the longer he looks into Makoto’s eyes, the more he comes to terms with the outcome. If Akechi is dead and not just running away, he did all he could. He did more than most. Hell, he did more than he probably should have. And Makoto is right. He’s not about to let his anger and despair get the best of him. Not that he would be able to be angry and depressed for too long before Makoto would make him warm inside or his friends would put him in his place.

Ren just wishes there could have been another way. And he hates, no matter how much Makoto will try to convince him otherwise, that he will never be able to know _why_.

Makoto’s hands in his hair pull him from his thoughts. “I don’t expect you to accept this overnight, or even any time soon,” she says. “But I don’t want you to feel like you’re alone.”

Has he expressed how much he _loves_ this girl? “You said your sister isn’t coming home tonight?”

Makoto drops her hands to her side and shakes her head. “Sometimes she comes home in the middle of the night, but I never know she’s here. She usually leaves before I get up in the morning.”

He kisses her, because she’s not making eye contact with him and he wants her to know _why_ he had asked. When her back hits the wall and he pushes himself against her, he can tell that he’s gotten through to her.

She places her hands on his chest and slowly separates him from her. There’s the adorable blush on her face and a cute smile that makes him so warm and fuzzy and maybe a little dizzy. “Well, she said she would let me know if something changes.”

Her arms come around his neck and his hands fall to her hips. “Worst case scenario, how many hours does that give me with you?”

“I wouldn’t worry about Sis coming home any time soon, worst case scenario.”

The burning in his stomach intensifies when her fingers find their way into his hair again. “She’s not going to come in and murder me in my sleep, right?”

She chuckles at him. “I can lock the door.”

Ren almost falls over in his place. She may be getting a little _too_ good at dropping suggestive hints with her voice. “What if she forgets to say something to you and she comes home soon?”

He’s usually never this anxious to start anything, but this will be the first time doing so at _her_ place. And he hadn’t done anything the last time and Sae had nearly broken his neck and burned him alive. So naturally, he’s worried about his own safety. And her feelings, because it had taken its toll on her as well.

But then she kisses his cheek and stands on her toes to lean into his ear. “Then you’ll just have to be quiet now, won’t you?”

His head falls forward and smacks against the wall because she literally takes the air out of his lungs. She breaks out into a fit of giggles, and it’s the cutest thing she can do at the moment. Her victory is short lived, however, as he regains his composure and moves his hands to the back of her legs, lifting her up to his level.

He pins her hips against the wall with his. “Sounds like a competition,” he whispers in her ear. “One that I’ll make you regret making.”

It works in his favor; the warmth of her skin under his lips is the indicator that he’s left her extremely flustered. He’s always been the dominant one (maybe an ego thing?), but he really loves leaving her speechless and burning from his words. Not that the one time he had relinquished that position had been anything less than amazing, it’s just too much fun.

“Challenge accepted.”

Okay, she really is getting too good. But _damn_ if that didn’t turn him on even more. So, he decides to see just how far he can push this eager side of her. “Do you know that I’ve always wanted to hear you scream my name?”

He can feel the slight shudder of her body through his. “I-I’ve s-said your name before.”

His lips work against the skin under her ear. She’s still putting up a weak fight, and he’s proud of her for that. It’ll make the ending that much more powerful and remarkable. He has to fight with himself to remember that as he really, _really_ wants to be inside of her right now.

He smiles into her ear. “I mean, I want your neighbors to know my name.”

That effectively gets her to still in his hold. He pulls his head away from her neck and kisses her once on the lips. “What? No witty comeback, Makoto?”

Her response is to lower her head and his back straightens in pride. He carefully shifts her body around in his arms so that one arm is around her back and the other is under her legs. He leans in to kiss her again to put her more at ease. She may be a bit _too_ warm.

“But,” he adds once she’s situated underneath him on her bed. “I’ll do my best to dampen your cries.”

A wave of relief washes over him when her hands begin their task at removing his jacket. “How will you do that?”

“Like this.”

* * *

 

 

* * *

He kisses her lightly at first, but once he feels her hands working at his shirt, he becomes much more impatient. The little voice in the back of his head keeps him from jumping right into things, that he really does want to hear her scream his name. To do that, he has to take things down a notch.

It’s not like this is the first time he’s had sex with her, but that’s not what he wants. He wants to memorize her, again, to show her the same love and happiness that he feels every single time he’s with her. He wants to show her how deeply he feels for her with touches and kisses in a way he can never describe with words. He wants her to know that this isn’t the same kind of act of lust that had nearly cost him their friendship over two months ago, even if he feels just as strongly about her now as he had back then.

Plus, he’s not going to lie, it’s amazing. He is always impressed with how much his heart bursts with love more than the previous times. He never thought it possible, but here he is now, literally feeling the blood vessels in his heart rupture slowly in his chest because it can’t handle the amount of love he has for her.

Now he feels like he’s going to cry. So he tries to simmer it down by playing to his more cunning and lustful side. His mouth leaves hers to find that sensitive spot behind her ear that always gets a reaction. “Do you want to know how I’m going to make you scream?”

One of his hands comes to rest on her shoulder as he gently rakes his teeth against her skin. Her sharp intake of breath is all the answer he needs. So, as he slowly trails his fingers along her shoulder, her collarbone, down over her breasts, her ribs, to rest on her stomach, he continues to whisper into her ear.

“I’m going to taste every last inch of you, probably more than once.” He enunciates his statement by using the tip of his tongue to lick from the base of her neck back to her ear. “Wherever my hands go, you can bet I’m going to follow up with my mouth. And I’m going to keep my eyes on your face so I can see your expression to every move I make.”

He repeats his process on the other side of her, but he sits up once her hands manage to reach his chest. He grabs her wrists and smiles darkly when she appears taken back by his move. He removes her hands from under his clothes and places them above her head.

“You can go next. But for now, I want you to focus on how I’m making you feel rather than on how _I_ feel.”

She squirms in his hold. “I-I just want to-,”

He silences her with a kiss. “There will be plenty of time for that, Makoto. But since I won the flirting battle, I claim my right to go first.”

Her face darkens, but she does manage a quiet, “O-okay,” that _almost_ makes him change his plans. “Can I at least _look_ at you without a shirt on?”

Hearing the sweetness in her tone makes his cheeks burn. “Alright,” he says with a laugh. “But you can only look, for now.”

She nods and leans up to help him out of his shirt, throwing it off the side of the bed where his jacket had fallen to the floor. He admits he feels _much_ better, given that it’s a hundred degrees in the room, but he has to gently remind her of their deal when her hands slide down his chest and stomach.

He places her hands back over her head. “Now, the only place I want to feel your hands is in my hair. Because that’s super-hot and I really like it when you play with my hair,” he states with childish excitement. It pulls a laugh from her, which makes his smile grow even more.

“Okay,” she replies and follows through on his suggestion. He regrets allowing her the privilege, as it makes him wish he could be slightly more selfish to relieve even a little of the pressure building up in his core.

He’ll get there, he repeats to himself. And boy will it be worth it. But, it might not hurt to pick up the pace.

So he does. Both of his hands sneak under her shirt and he slowly begins to pull at it. He groans inwardly due to the added friction, thanks to the bed, that causes him to have to tug more forcibly to get the damn thing off. Makoto seems to find it humorous, so he lets it slide.

She keeps her hands in his hair as he brings his lips to the skin of her collarbone. He gently (and sometimes not so gently) nips, sucks, and licks her as both of his hands slide their way around to her back to work at the clasp of her bra. He will never admit that this is the part he _hates_ because he always has to focus his concentration and sometimes, he’s too impatient and gives up all together. However, today is a wonderful day, and his pride levels up when he unhooks it on the first try.

But before his eyes, hands, and mouth (and ears; she’s always very sensitive and she’s not one to hold back) can feast on the newly exposed skin, she tugs on his hair painfully enough that he winces. Confused, but maybe excitedly throbbing at the harshness of it, he looks up at her.

“Are you okay?”

“You stopped telling me what you were going to do.”

He’s so impressed at the ease in which she admits it that he stares at her for a moment. It’s not until she pulls on his hair again that he laughs and plants a kiss on her lips.

“You like it when I talk to you like that, huh?”

She doesn’t answer, but he can feel the heat from her cheeks and he doesn’t need one.

He leans back down to attack her neck as his free hand begins to roam over her. He traces patterns with his fingertips over her stomach and ribcage, but he purposely avoids her breasts because he knows it irritates her.

“Don’t worry,” he laughs into her ear. “I’ll be rolling each one of your nipples between my fingers here in a second.” He leaves a trail of kisses along her jawline to come across to her other ear. “And then, I want to hear what you sound like when I use my tongue instead.”

She gasps when his hand finally cups her breast, his thumb sweeping back and forth across her nipple. He focuses his attention on her breathing, her back muscles straining as she presses herself into his hand. He recaptures her lips so he can balance himself properly to use both hands to touch her. He swallows every breathless moan she gives off. He works his tongue against hers as a way to remind her of what he’s capable of, then runs his teeth over her bottom lip so his ears can pick up the moan that escapes her lips.

“I’m going to tell you what I plan to do, because once I start, my mouth will be far too occupied with tasting you to be talking. Okay?”

He continues to work her breasts with his hands and all she can offer him is a nod. He drops down to place a light kiss to her forehead. “My mouth is going to replace my hands, and my hands are going to find a new part of you to play with.” He cannot _wait_ to find out the degree at which his words and touches are making her feel. “And then, like I told you, my tongue will be soon to follow.”

He leaves it at that (the throbbing is beginning to _hurt_ ) and he gives her one soft kiss to the lips before he trails his lips down her throat and to her chest. His hands circle over her stomach, because he may have a fascination with her abs more than he will admit, and he continues to kiss and lick down to where his hands rest. Then, he pauses, lifts his head from her stomach, and smiles at her.

“I hope your neighbors file a noise complaint after I’m done with you.” Her hands fly to cover her face and he laughs. He sits up and presses his lips to the back of one of her hands. “If you get too loud, I’ll stop.”

He hears a muffled, “D-don’t stop,” and he swallows hard. _He’s_ probably going to have a hard time trying to keep it down at this rate.

Again, he makes the decision to hurry things along. He drops his lips to one of her breasts while his hand works on the other. As he continues to draw out a chorus of gasps and moans from her, his other hand slides into her pants and reaches that sweet spot between her legs.

The gasp he elicits from her, mixed with the fact that she is soaking wet, makes him shudder on top of her. He’s not perfect. Here he is, trying to get her off first before he thinks about himself, and just like that, he can’t contain it.

He lifts his head to cover her mouth and kisses her roughly, but both of his hands keep moving. He squeezes each one of her breasts, runs a finger over her clit, all while trying not to shove his tongue down her throat. The only time he pulls his lips away from hers is to breathe for a second, then he’s back at it. It’s not until he feels her nails digging into his back that he realizes that he’s going too fast.

He _really_ wants to hear her scream, and while he knows she’s getting close, it’s nothing explosive like he needs it to be. So, he stops. And it _greatly_ upsets her.

“W-why did you stop?”

She’s so breathless from his actions and his kiss and the loss of friction and it’s adorable. “Because I want you to _scream_ , Makoto.”

He doesn’t give her long to think before his hands tug on the rest of her clothes. She’s all but willing to help him, and despite wanting to do it alone, he accepts. However, she gets the wrong impression when he leans over her just to kiss her. He stops her hands at the waistband of his pants and grins at her.

“Someone’s a little anxious.”

She gives him a look. “Says the one who’s probably in pain right now.”

Well, yes, but the ending…the ending will all be worth it. “Oh trust me, I want nothing more than to bury myself inside you, but I’m not going to. Not yet.” He places another chaste kiss to her lips. “I told you that everywhere my hands go, my tongue is going to go, too. And I don’t say things I don’t intend to follow through on.”

Her eyes grow wide and he may become slightly apprehensive. _This_ will be new to both of them. He had always dreamed of going down on her one day, and from what little he knows on the subject, girls _love_ guys who do it. And if he can drive her crazier, string her tighter than she already is, he’ll do it every single time.

“Unless you don’t want me to, then I won’t.” If she’s okay with it, he’s going to do it. He wants to taste her, to find new ways to connect with her, to simply take a new adventure with her. If she says no, or she’s visibly uncomfortable, he’ll go back to the norm and save it for another day.

“C-can I keep my hands in your hair?”

Now it’s his turn to go slack-jawed. His breath comes out of his lungs as a weak laugh. The blush on her face is precious, but she maintains eye contact with him. She adds on to her question. “I-I may be more comfortable…that way…”

His smile hurts his face. “Just try not to rip it out, or…actually, I’m okay with that.” When he kisses her again, he seems to suck out the lingering nerves and now he’s excited. “Let me know when you’re close. I want to catch my name rolling off your tongue, okay?”

She gives him a nod in response. He sits himself back on the bed between her legs. His hands stroke the skin of her inner thighs and his eyes soak in the view from above her.

“You’re beautiful, you know that?”

He says it all the time, but he means it every time. The deepening blush is a sign that she hears him, that yes, she knows he thinks that, and that he will always say it to her. Because he loves her.

He lowers his head down to kiss the sides of her legs, and she soon places her hands in his hair. She’s still a little nervous by the way she’s grasping him, but he doesn’t mind. He’s positive that once he gets started, the nerves will be replaced with pleasure.

He keeps his hands on her legs and brings his lips to kiss the sensitive little nub at her core. She reacts violently to it, which he takes great pride in, even if he may lose a lock of hair in the process. He gets bolder by swiping his tongue over it, giving him much the same reaction, and he follows up with a few kisses to her thighs.

“Ren…stop it.”

It’s not a command to _stop_ as much as it is a plea to _go_. He looks up at her from his place and chuckles, enjoying the tremor that he feels from her when his breath hits her. “I haven’t even started and you want me to stop?”

He teases her again by flicking her once with his tongue and stopping. His chest swells when she groans and pulls at his hair again. “N-no.”

“Then why did you tell me to stop?” This time, he uses a finger when he doesn’t get an answer. “Why did you tell me to stop?”

She retracts her hands so she can hide her embarrassment. “I-I meant…stop…stopping…”

He rewards her with a light kiss and a few strokes with his tongue. “You like that?”

Again, she gives him an answer in the form of a nod, but that’s good enough. Besides, he doesn’t know how much longer _he_ can take the waiting.

He settles down and gets to work, remembering which spots he touches that pulls out the best moans from her. He’s also mindful of her hands working in his hair. She tends to grab and tug when he hits the right spot, and she pulls harder as he begins to work his tongue faster over her.

He’s extremely delighted with the gasp he receives when he slides two of his fingers inside of her. He actually believes he’s enjoying this more than she is. He does have to start to focus harder on his movements as she starts to rock her hips against him. Her breathing is becoming more labored, more guttural, but she’s getting louder. It’s the motivation he needs to keep up his pace, not too fast, but not too slow.

He adds another finger and he can feel her tightening up around him. He takes her clit between his lips and he tears up at the painful tug of his hair he gets in response. But it sure as hell didn’t keep him from hearing her cry out. He does it again, because he knows she’s close, and he’s challenging himself to see how much louder he can get her.

Assuming he doesn’t lose all of his hair, the pay-off will be wonderful.

“R-Ren…”

He gives her a few more tongue flicks before he brings himself to hover over her. His hand supports his weight by her head while the other continues to pump in and out of her. He watches her face carefully. He wants her to scream, he does, but he also wants to swallow it up. He moves faster inside her, her hands moving to grab his shoulders, and he reaches down to kiss her forehead.

“I know you’re close, and I’m here to catch that scream of yours.”

It’s not long before he feels the familiar grip on his shoulders and the tightening around his fingers. He drops another kiss on her forehead and smiles. “Are you cumming?”

She only responds with by digging her nails into his flesh and throwing her head back against the bed.

“Say it, Makoto.”

He curls his fingers inside of her and it’s the push that brings his name off her tongue. It’s strangely music to his ears, and he leans in to capture the rest of her cries as he digs his fingers deeper into her. When she drops her weight back into the bed, he breaks the kiss and pulls his hand away from her.

“ _That_ was what I wanted,” he chuckles as he buries his face into the crook of her neck. She exhales deeply, trying to steady her breathing. He gives her several minutes, then asks, “How was that?”

She wipes the light sheen of sweat from her brow. “I hope the neighbors don’t judge me now.”

He laughs heartily at her comment, but then she throws him back against the bed and straddles his waist. “Now, maybe you’d like to feel a little bit better.”

She doesn’t give him a chance to reply as she grinds her hips against him. She does it again when he places his hands on her hips. “You know I don’t like to be on the bottom.”

She silences him when she throws her body weight onto him. The feeling of her chest on his causes him to forget what he had planned to say.

“I know you don’t, Ren, but you’ve done enough work for one day.”

She’s getting more and more sassy with her words, and he loves it. Who is he to deny her the right to ride him while he has a perfect view of the most beautiful girl in the world?

She slides off of him so she can work at the buckle on his pants, but she doesn’t go fast enough for his tastes. He knows what’s coming, and now, he’s far too eager. He’s sure it shows in his body language as Makoto chuckles at him.

“Did I ever tell you how amazing it was the last time I was on top of you?”

Great, now she’s flipped the tables and he’s the stuttering fool. “U-uh, no?”

She _finally_ works him out of his pants and the second he’s exposed to the air, half the pressure disappears with it. She doesn’t jump him right away, which frustrates him. She does, however, run a hand over his throbbing member and he groans.

“You _were_ suffering getting me off.”

He has no idea how his laugh comes out of his throat. “I mean, yeah, so can you remedy that, please?”

She smiles and leans over him, her hair forming a small curtain for the two of them. It’s just him and her, no one else. Nothing else. And this little bubble, this is where he wants to stay forever. “I love you, Ren.”

He sits up to kiss her. She guides him back down on the bed without ever once pulling away from him. He bites down on her lip when she works to position him at her entrance. It takes all of his strength to keep himself from thrusting up into her.

“You took your pill, right?” he asks, his hand brushing some of her hair back, even though it falls back around his fingers.

She nods, kisses him again, then drops her hips down on his. He slides cleanly into her and both of them bite back a cry of pleasure. Once she knows he’s okay (he’s not, and he knows he’s going to last maybe five more seconds) she begins to grind her hips against his. He finds her rhythm, coming to thrust up when she comes down. She rather tight still, which does _nothing_ to help him, but he really wants to push her into a second orgasm when or before he reaches his.

Hell, he knows better. He’s going to have to finger her through a second one because he can already feel the pressure coiling up in his gut.

But, somehow, he has half a mind to focus on _her_ rather than him. “I want you to kiss me.”

She wastes no time following his command and comes down to do just that. He uses this as leverage to send one hand to her breast and another down between their legs. She moans into his mouth when his finger rubs the spot she may be more sensitive to now, but he doesn’t stop. His other hand squeezes her, more as an outlet of his pleasure than anything else, and his lips remain dueling with hers.

When she pulls away, he groans. One more minute. He’s got one more minute and he doubts she’s even close. “Come back.”

She places her hands on his chest, but her fingers dancing on his skin make him cut his time in half. “You can go deeper if I sit up like this.”

Yes, because _that_ sure isn’t going to make him last longer. She must see the look on his face, his eyes are closed to think of something to stop the fire from consuming him, for her hands brush his hair back off his face.

Again, it’s not helpful, but there’s no point now. “Ren, it’s okay.” He feels her move down to lay against him. “I’m actually a lot closer than you think.” She kisses him in the space above his eyes. “Keep touching me like this, and you’ll get me there.”

Fuck.

He worries he may be too rough with her, pounding his hips into hers faster and harder with every whimper and ragged sigh he can extract from her. His fingers are shaking between them, not really knowing if he’s working his magic like he should or if he’s wasting his time. It doesn’t matter. He’s pretty sure he has ten seconds left anyway.

She rakes her fingers over his chest. Now he’s down to five.

The next second happens so fast that he thinks it’s all a dream. Makoto doubles over and screams his name again, her fingernails scraping down his shoulders. He realizes she’s hit another orgasm when it literally sucks him into his own. Her strangled cries are impressively louder than his, but it’s hard to try and think about outmatching her as he releases himself inside of her. She continues to ride him until she collapses on top of him, limp and out of breath.

* * *

 

* * *

 

He’s actually feeling the same level of exhaustion, just with the luxury of being on the bottom. He wraps his arms around her once he catches enough of his breath, then kisses the crown of her head.

“I love you, Makoto.”

He hears her sniff, but he knows she’s not sad. If she’s feeling anything like he is, she’s far too overcome with emotions and love to stop herself from crying. He will never say it to her face, but he adores it. The tears. The emotion. Because it’s that _strong_ of a feeling.

She shuffles in his hold and extracts herself from him to come to rest at his side. She’s too tired to grab a sheet to throw over them, but he doesn’t mind. It’s still too hot and stuffy in the room to be hiding under a blanket. Plus, he really wants to take a shower.

“You wouldn’t mind if we took a shower, right?”

She giggles tiredly into his shoulder. “We?”

He brushes his lips against her hair. “I need one; you need one. It makes sense, right?”

She playfully slaps his chest as he breaks out into a smile. “I guess so.”

“Good,” he says as he attempts (and fails a few times) to find the energy to get off the bed. “I have to admit another fantasy to you.”

She groans into the pillow. “Ren, I don’t think I can go another round right now.”

He chuckles as he pulls on her arm. “Another time, yes, but right now, you know what I want to do?”

He allows her to throw her arms around him to support her weight when she stands from the bed. “What’s that?”

“I really want to wash your hair.”

-.-.-

He has the best sleep of his life.

The sun shining through the blinds in Makoto’s room is what makes him stir awake. She’s still asleep, laying against him for warmth (she had demanded to wash the sheets overnight, and only one had remained fit for sleeping on). His fingers brush through her hair, that’s very soft and fluffy now that he’s been able to wash it. He knows her hair has always been soft and delicate and hard to keep his hands out of, but it’s more so now since he had made it that way last night.

He stretches out his back and that’s when he feels Makoto move beside him. He feels bad for waking her, but if the light from the sun is any indication, it’s probably time they wake up anyway. He kisses her hair, breaths in the scent, and gently shakes her.

“Good morning, beautiful.”

She keeps her head resting against his shoulder, but her eyes soon flutter open. “Ren?”

He chuckles. “Who else would I be?”

She rubs her face against him as his hand moves up and down her arm. “W-what time is it?”

“Probably time to get up.”

He knows that she’s a morning person, and seeing her struggle to wake herself up is precious. He guesses his presence has something to do with that, but he also knows she’s exhausted. From running around dealing with Akechi, Shido, her sister, (insert his actions from last night), he hands it to her when she sits up in the bed.

“I really don’t want to do anything.”

He laughs. “Well, do you want breakfast? I’m starving! Someone made me burn far too many calories last night.”

Her hands cover her face before he can catch the blush he _knows_ is there. “S-stop it!”

He runs his fingers over the back of her shoulders, trying to ease some of the tension he notices building up. “Let’s get dressed and get some food, okay?”

She exhales before nodding. “Okay.”

Once they both change and walk into the kitchen, Ren throws himself down on a chair at the table. “Whatcha making me for breakfast, love?”

His pet name causes her to stumble, but then she opens the fridge to examine the contents. “U-um…I don’t have curry.”

“Damn,” he says sacrastically, turning in his seat to look over at her. “Thankfully, I’m not in the mood for curry.”

“I have ingredients to make rice omelets, but, I’m not very good at making them.”

He jumps out of his seat and leans against the closest counter by the fridge. “I hear you’re looking for a chef?”

She chuckles at his joke. “I thought _I_ was supposed to make _you_ breakfast.”

He grins. “Are you trying to play the role of my wife already?”

She falls back and he has to grab her shoulders from behind to help steady her. He almost laughs at her reaction, but after his talk with Sae the other day, the thought has really never left his mind. Does she want to get married one day? Would she be okay having his kids? Would she prefer a house over an apartment, where their twenty kids can run around in a yard with the ten dogs he wants to have?

And Morgana. Would she be okay with Morgana being a part of her future, too?

The desire to ask about her thoughts on the subject has grown stronger, especially after almost dying in the crumbling palace. He’s come close to losing her once, before he had a name for the feeling, so talking about his future with her is a conversation he would like to have with her.

Hence why he uses it as a joke, to catch her off-guard, but doesn’t laugh, because he wants to know.

“W-w- _wife?”_

He returns to his earlier position and leans back against the countertop. “I mean, would you want that one day? Obviously not now, or for a few years at least, but I don’t think it’s a bad thing to talk about, right?”

She’s just too damn cute, standing there frozen in place, unable to do anything. He smiles, then pushes off the ledge to stand beside her. He kisses her bright red cheek before lightly shaking her shoulders.

“We can talk about this some other time, okay? Right now, I am hungry!”

He comes around her to take a peek into the fridge, but her hand lands on his arm as he reaches out to grab the carton of eggs.

“I-I-I would like that…someday…”

He looks over his shoulder at her, still burning red, but a shy smile forms on her face. He straightens his back, hand securely around the eggs, and kisses her. “Did you know that a good husband should be able to cook, too?”

She drops her face into his chest while he laughs. Seriously, she’s too cute for him. He’s never going to _not_ explode at her level of cuteness. How many lives does he still have left?

He can’t help but poke the fire some more. “You’ll learn how to make perfect omelets after cooking for all the kids we’re going to have.” 

She throws herself back and he catches her with one arm around her back. “K-kids?!”

“You’d make a great mom.”

Suddenly, there’s a knock on the door. He’s sure Makoto is thankful for a distraction, but Ren can’t help but wonder who it could be. They both give each other a look, thinking the same thing, and he follows her to the door.

His jaw nearly comes unhinged when Makoto opens the door.

“I figured you would be here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, there's my first attempt at some fluffy smut, doubt it will ever happen again, but I was in a mood when I wrote it so I figured I would share it.
> 
> I didn't plan on ending this here, but I still don't really know how I want all this to end, so this gives me more time. Sunday's are my off days from my workout stuff and usually from work so I plan on using Sunday's to write more heavily. Or get my shit together and figure out what the fuck I'm doing with this last chapter...
> 
> Anyways, thank you all for reading and sticking with me!


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's to hoping I don't bomb this last chapter...
> 
> I’ve literally spent weeks writing this, changing it, deleting scenes, changing it again. I hope this works out for an ending, because I can’t keep fighting with it. I’m not super pleased with this, but given how the last half of this story went, it’s the only way I could feel decent enough about it. 
> 
> Side note: I fucking HATED the events around Christmas Eve, the weird Mementos stuff, pretty much the end of the game in general, so I cut it out here. You guys can hate me for it, but I’m leaving all that up to your imagination. I refused to do anything with it.
> 
> Enjoy!

“I figured you would be here.”

Before Makoto can snap out of her surprise and slam the door, Akechi steps in and approaches Ren with his hands up. “I know you have a lot of questions, but I promise, I don’t mean any trouble.”

Ren’s heart pumps blood through his veins at a pace he wishes he could pummel Akechi with his fists. “What the hell are you doing here?”

There’s a familiar smile on the teen’s face that sends chills up his spine. “I wanted to offer you a deal.”

“A deal?” comes his reply. “You try to kill me and you want to strike a  _deal?_ ”

“Consider it my apology, for betraying you and threatening you.”

He looks over Akechi’s shoulder to Makoto, who stands rigid in her spot, but also poised to strike. He doesn’t want a fight to break out in her apartment, even if a part of him would  _love_  to see her beat the hell out of Akechi. When she meets his eyes, he nods to her, and she appears to relax, even if the glare doesn’t leave her eyes.

“The police are looking for you.” Akechi’s voice pulls him back to their uninvited guest. “Well, not you, per se, but the leader of your little group.”

Ren’s eyes narrow at the boy. “My guess is that you sold us out, and now you’re going to turn over the evidence you have on us.”

He’s taken back when Akechi laughs. “Oh, no, you misunderstand.” He stops laughing and there’s an eerily warm expression on his face. “I’ve actually just spoken to Niijima-san.” Ren and Makoto both gasp. “She’s working up my own, personal arrest warrant, which is why I’m here.”

“W-what?”

Akechi steps aside to look at both of them. “I don’t have anything exciting to look forward to, now that Shido-san is dead.”

Ren falters, one leg moving behind him to balance his weight. “Y-you…you  _killed_ him?”

“I owe a tremendous thanks to you,” Akechi snickers, placing a hand on his hip. “He deserved it. I deserved to do it. You deserve some justice for his acts against you as well.”

He wants to throw himself at the other teen, wrap his hands around his neck and squeeze the life out of him, but he’s so horrified by his words that he can’t move.

Makoto comes to stand in front of him when Akechi takes a few steps closer. She asks, “Why?” but her voice is so quiet and muddled by his own shock that he barely hears them speaking to each other.

“I’m a horrible human being. I’ve come to accept that.” Did Akechi just call himself a horrible person, or had that been his imagination? “I don’t intend on becoming your best friend, or any sort of friend, but that’s not why I’m here.”

“Why would you do this to him after  _everything_  he tried to do for you?”

The world around him starts to blur and he feels like he’s falling. Is Shido really dead? Granted the man deserved some sort of punishment for his crimes, but not  _death_. No one deserves to die. How did Akechi think that this was some kind of acceptable  _justice?_

“Sae-san has been made aware of all my acts of violence, mental shutdowns, murders. So now, I’m about to enter a new game. Something to look forward to instead of looking back on.”

Ren shakes his head and comes to stand directly behind Makoto. “Why are you here?” His own voice sounds foreign to him. Even Makoto and Akechi look at him as if he’s sick or in need of a drink. Well, he sure as hell feels sick and he could use whatever the fuck Sojiro had that night long ago to calm him down again.

Akechi simply shrugs his shoulders. “I don’t want to sound like I’m taking your spotlight, Ren, but you don’t deserve the punishment that will fall upon you if they find evidence of your leadership.”

“You…you tried to  _kill_  me. You kidnapped and tried to kill Makoto!” He steps around Makoto and she grabs onto his arm before he lunges at Akechi. He’s thankful for her quick thinking, but his voice carries the same frustration and anger he’s feeling. “Shido didn’t deserve this kind of punishment! He could have been saved. He could have-,”

“I’m going to stop you there, Ren.” Akechi lifts both hands. “Some people can never be saved. You don’t think that if I would have shown mercy on him, he wouldn’t have his ‘friends’ bail him out? He’s far too influential, too powerful to face any true punishment.”

Ren’s eyes narrow. “You can’t kill everyone that you deem unworthy to be saved.”

“No, I can’t.” The other boy’s hands reach into his pockets. “Which is why I’m taking the blame for everything.”

Before Ren can blink, Akechi tosses something small and hard into his chest. His eyes follow the object to the floor, where it rests by his feet. He leans down to pick it up and another bizarre wave of emotions pulsate through his blood.

“Just because you couldn’t stop me from killing Shido doesn’t mean you should stop trying to help people who need you.” He hears Akechi chuckle at his own comment. “My hatred for the man had been my foundation. No matter how kind you were to me, no matter how many chances you were willing to give me, I would have killed him. But I just wanted to stop by to give you that.”

He holds his opponent’s king in his hands. He stares at the game piece for the longest time before Akechi’s voice snaps him out of his daze. “You once told me that every player is important in a game of chess. You’ve utilized them well, Ren, which is why I’m surrendering. And now, I must be off. After all, Sae-san is not one to go lightly on a murderer.”

Ren finds his voice before the teen can grab the handle of the door. “You’re running away.”

Akechi laughs. “If that’s what you call it, then so be it. But I’m sure our paths will cross again in the future.” He turns to Ren with a smirk. “Maybe then we can play another game to determine who the best player truly is.”

It’s the last thing Akechi says to him before the door shuts behind the teen, leaving Ren staring at the empty spot he had occupied seconds ago. He’s not even really sure what’s happening, why it’s happening, or if it had happened at all. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he’s not at all upset that the police will be chasing after Akechi for his hand in the mental shutdowns. But…

What’s going to become of the Phantom Thieves now? Surely Sae couldn’t pin every shred of evidence on Akechi because it’s  _not true._  As much as Ren would rather  _not_  see the inside of a jail cell again, he can’t let Akechi tarnish a reputation that he and his friends had built. They weren’t vengeful killers. They were teenagers fighting against the wrongs of the system. What kind of leader would he be if he lets this occurrence with Akechi slip through the cracks in order to save himself?

“A-are you okay?”

Ren only collapses to his knees. 

-.-.-

Only one word can summarize the week.

Chaotic.

Maybe on the verge of nightmare-ish. One that’s only getting worse.

It takes every last ounce of restraint to keep herself from throwing a fist into the drywall of her office. Sae’s cell phone constantly goes off. The office phone rings nonstop. Associates, police, politicians all barge into the room one right after the next. It’s a miracle at all how she’s able to speak, let alone try and  _think_.

No matter how many questions are thrown at her, no matter how many angry remarks are made, her answer is always the same.

“I don’t know.”

But really, she does. The not-so-pleasant conversation she had with Akechi a few days prior had given her precious insight on what had been going on. His story seemed to coincide with Ren’s, which had been more than enough evidence for her to use against the teen. However, trying to explain as much to the interim director is not something that seems to be working in her favor.

“You don’t know, but yet here you are, asking me to approve this arrest warrant for a young man who had been a wonderful ally for quite some time.”

Sae’s gears turn faster in her mind. She needs to convince him with  _proof_ , or Akechi will walk away a free man, and Ren could very well find himself back in prison. “He told me all of the details the other day. He told me he killed Shido-san, before anyone knew he was dead.”

The gruff older man falls back in his chair, rubbing a hand over his chin. “He came up to you and  _confessed_ , but then ran away?”

As hard as she tries not to, she feels her shoulders drop. “I know this is a strange story, but he offered details to me that no one but the killer could have known. He has no alibi for the mysterious mental shutdown cases. He knew how they occurred and how to cause them. He knew their names!”

The director crosses his arms over his chest with a frown. “And did you record any of this conversation?”

“I wasn’t able to record the entire confession, but I was able to catch the ending.” To be frank, Sae had no idea what had been happening until Akechi had told her straight up to record what he had been saying. She removes her personal phone from her bag laying by her feet and holds it up so he can listen.

_“My father—my apologies, Shido-san, was a horrible human being, one that would never see true justice unless it was in death. And who better to bring about that justice than his own bastard son?”_

_“How were you able to kill him?”_

Akechi’s quiet laughter fills the room.  _“I’ve killed enough human shadows in the Metaverse as practice, Sae-san. Shido-san was the finale. And, between you and me, it was a spectacular show.”_

The recording drops out, but the look on the man’s face give Sae a sliver of hope. “This was recorded before the finding of Shido-san’s body. He had been working with me on the mental shutdown cases to keep us from suspecting him. He knew how to derail our investigations. He gathered information so he could use it to his advantage.”

He holds up his hands to stop her. “I’ve heard enough.”

Sae waits impatiently in the silence, waiting for him to pick up a pen and sign the document to legalize the warrant. Instead, several minutes later, he leans his head back against the seat and smiles. “You remind me of your father.”

Hearing this, Sae flinches and takes a step back. “W-what?”

“He was a good man, even if his stories and theories made as much sense to me then as everything you’re saying to me now.”

Sae continues to stand in complete shock, but he chuckles at her reaction and rises to his feet. “Niijima-san, none of this makes any sense to me. This “Metaverse” or supernatural world is far beyond my comprehension. And it’s my duty to tell fact from fiction, especially given the circumstances surrounding Shido-san’s death.”

That snaps her out of her thoughts. “What are you saying, sir?”

“I’m saying that I can’t make the official call on this.” Sae exhales much too loudly, but the older man doesn’t seem to mind. He grabs the paper sitting on the desk and hands it to her. She stares at the unsigned document for a moment, then slowly reaches out to take it.

“I understand.”

But he doesn’t let go of the paper. “I can’t make the official call on this, Niijima-san.” He takes her by surprise for a second time, this one much more welcomed. “But  _you_  can.”

Her eyes widen. “E-Excuse me?”

He only smiles. “You appear to know what you’re talking about. You know what’s true and what’s false, and you can _prove_ that.” He pulls a pen out from the front pocket of his blazer. “So if you believe this the right call to make, I’ll sign it and let you take the reins.”

At a loss for words, she simply nods her reply and nearly falls to the floor in relief when he hands her the warrant after he signs it.

“Go catch that son of a bitch.”

That excitement, however, doesn’t last long. As soon as she steps out into the cold, Christmas Eve night, she hears someone calling her name.

The look on his face speaks more to her than the tone of his voice. “Can I talk to you?”

She glances around the area, then ushers Ren to a quieter, more secluded part of the district. His hands are in his pockets and his eyes are studying the ground rather intensely. Sae’s blood is still pumping from the conversation with her superior, but something about his posture makes her worry.

“I take it something is wrong?”

He wastes no time. “Akechi told me that you were going to arrest him.”

His statement turns her blood cold instantly. “Y-you  _spoke_  to him?!”

Ren still doesn’t make eye contact with her. “Look, you can’t arrest him, okay? If you do, then you might as well arrest me, too.”

“You didn’t  _kill_  anyone, Ren.”

“I know that. But…they’re after  _me._ I’m the leader of the Phantom Thieves. I’m the one the police have been after for months. You can’t just arrest him and hope everyone will forget about me!”

Sae may not know Ren all that well, but she can easily tell he’s nervous. He’s afraid. His good intentions and bizarre adventures have brought him nothing but trouble. “Are you saying that you want to take his place?”

It’s the first time the boy looks at her and it causes something to snap in her. “No matter what you do for me, the public will always believe that the Phantom Thieves killed Okumura, and now Shido. I have to do something.”

Sae folds her arms to keep herself from harming him. “I’m assuming you haven’t asked Makoto for her opinion on the matter.”

Ren’s eyes close tightly and she can see his hands ball into fists in his pockets. “I don’t want her to know.”

“Ren,” she adds after a sigh. “I can’t stop you from turning yourself in. I can, however, tell you that Akechi is the only one we want right now. He confessed to every mental shutdown case and Shido’s death. If anything, his confession should move eyes off of you and your friends and onto him. So, all you would really manage to do is confuse the investigators, insult our work, infuriate me, and break my sister’s heart.” She pauses to let her words sink in. “Is that what you want?”

He lowers his head. “I don’t want him to be accounted for things that  _I_  did.”

“You’re very prideful.” He meets her glare in surprise. “Is the Phantom Thieves’ name that important to you that you would throw your freedom away just so the world knows who you are?”

“T-that’s not why…”

“For fuck’s sake, Amamiya, stop trying to be a goddamn martyr!” She smiles to herself at his stunned reaction to her harshness. Good. She hopes he’s scared shitless right now. “You haven’t done anything  _wrong!_  While your methods may not have been acceptable in the eyes of the law, the law sure as hell wasn’t saving the victims of Kamoshida or Kaneshiro, nor would any one of your targets be facing any jail time. Akechi is the only one who needs to be brought to court. You brought justice to criminals by changing them and bringing light to their crimes. Akechi _kills_ them.”

She holds up a hand to silence whatever he plans to say in response. “It’s Christmas Eve. You should be with Makoto. Because if you leave her after your declaration last week, the only place you’re going to be headed to is the morgue.”

Ren runs both hands over his face. “I’m sorry. I’m…I guess I’m just really scared.”

“This may not be easy for you to hear, but,” she says, her voice growing quiet. “I need you to trust me. The only way you’re going to see the inside of a jail cell again is if you bring it upon yourself. Don’t sacrifice the life you have right now to make a statement. It’s not worth it.”

She crosses her arms over her chest and closes her eyes when Ren remains silent. “You spoke so highly of your future then. So take a moment to stop and remember exactly how you felt when you told me what you wanted. The house, the dogs, the kids, all of it.” She opens her eyes and takes one look at the boy in front of her and smiles. “It’s your call to make. Are you going to fight for your future, or are you going to give up?”

It takes but a moment for Ren to crack a smile back at her. “Thank you.”

Sae grabs his arm before he can walk away. “I swear to the gods above me if you pull this stunt again, you’re going to wish you could be locked in solitary for the rest of your life.”

He slowly nods his head. “I won’t.” Then the smile is back on his face. “Besides, I think you would make a pretty cool aunt.”   

-.-.-

Makoto can say, with some amount of guilt, that she’s not the biggest fan of Christmas.

It’s a couple’s day, in which she’s never been with anyone to celebrate it. Growing up, her father would dote on her mother and tell her stories about when they had been young and crazy in love. He would beam with pride, showing her all the small trinkets and pieces of jewelry he had given to her every year, even after her passing. He had made the comment to her once that she would find a wonderful guy of her own one day, when she was fifty, and after her selection had passed a rigorous interview with him  _and_  her sister. Then she would understand why Christmas was a wonderful time of the year.

She had laughed then, years ago, and told her father that she only wanted to fight bad guys and be smart.

She wonders, as she sits on a park bench, watching the snow accumulate around her, if her father would have accepted Ren.

Makoto looks up at the sky and holds the wrapped package in her lap tightly. She knows this is Ren’s first Christmas with someone, too, but she’s still extremely nervous. It’s been a hell of a week, dealing with Shido’s death, Akechi’s sudden appearance and disappearance, her sister’s absence, Ren’s growing state of unhappiness. She can’t seem to catch a break. Which is why she had spent the greater half of the previous evening reading up on the dos and don’ts of the holiday exchanges, just to make sure she wouldn’t make the week any worse.

She just wants something to go  _right_. She doesn’t know if she’s in danger, if Ren and their friends are in danger, or if Sae had somehow managed to sweep the Phantom Thieves business under the rug. She doesn’t know how long this “peace” will last, and she wants to use it to her advantage while she can.

She’s also losing time to spend with Ren. He has only a few more months left in Tokyo before he leaves and returns home. She knows Ren will do everything he can to talk to her, to see her, to prove his love to her from some distance away. But, she wants to prove her dedication to him  _now_ , every day leading up to his departure, and every day he’s away.

It’s very hard to do when he’s already an hour late.

Makoto checks her phone for the hundredth time. She thinks about calling him, to ask where he could be or what’s holding him up, but she puts the phone back in the pocket of her coat. She doesn’t want to come across as clingy or desperate to see him so she can hopefully make this day memorable for each of them. Plus, Ren would never stand her up without a good reason…

Her eyes fall to the ground as she kicks at the snow around her feet. She’s getting cold and slightly uncomfortable from sitting in the same spot for over an hour. The scenery around her is beautiful at least, which serves as a wonderful distraction. But, the longer she sits without being invested in a conversation with someone, the more her mind starts to overanalyze and her heart starts to hurt.

Something heavy lands on her shoulders a few minutes later, startling her and causing her head to shoot up. “You’re freezing.”

Ren stands in front of her with a somber look on his face, and she feels a prick at her heart. She lowers her head again, grabbing at the coat and pulling it over her shoulders. “It’s okay.”

He comes to sit beside her after brushing the snow off the bench. “It’s not okay.”

She doesn’t want to tell him he’s correct, doesn’t want to have this day ruined over something that he’s fixing at the moment, so she shakes her head. “You’re here now, so it’s okay.”

He falls quiet, the only sounds between them coming from passerby’s footfalls in the snow and their breathing. It feels like an eternity before she hears Ren clear his throat and he places an arm over her shoulder. He pulls on her to get her to scoot closer to him, which she does, and she leans against him to rest her head on his chest.

“I have something for you.”

She can feel his words echo in his chest, bringing a small smile to her lips. “Is this why you were so late?”

“Um,” he mutters slowly, then pauses. She lifts her head to look up at him, but he turns away. She can’t tell if the red on his cheeks is because of his shyness (unlikely. Ren has  _never_  been bashful in front of her) or because of the cold. “The...mall was a lot busier than I expected it to be.”

She smiles up at him and softly laughs, which appears to ease his nerves tremendously. “You didn’t need to get me anything. I just wanted to spend time with you.”

There’s an expression on his face the next second that makes her sit up straight in her seat and eye him with concern. He closes his eyes and takes in a deep breath. “I want to spend time with you, too. But I  _did_  need to get you something.”

He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny red box with a white ribbon on top of it. She stares at the box in his hand for quite some time before Ren rubs the back of his head. “I know this may be a little too forward, but…I want you to have this.”

It’s not until he grabs her hand and places the box into her own that she blinks away her surprise. With shaky fingers, she manages to pry open the box and is greeted by the most beautiful, heart-shaped ring she’s ever seen in her life. Not that she’s big on jewelry, but she does admire the work. The falling snow helps to bring out the sparkle of the silver band and the contrast of the ruby heart. It’s almost  _too_  impressive of a sight, and she can’t help the gasp that comes out of her mouth.

“Y-you bought this…for me?”

Another nervous smile comes across his face. “W-well, yes. I did.”

She looks back down at the ring in the box, then back at him. “W-why?” She notices the look on his face and her mind scrambles to correct her tone. “N-no…t-that’s…not what I mean. It’s beautiful…I just, don’t know why you would give this to me…”

“How do you feel? Right now. Honestly.”

“Oh.” She’s surprised by his direct question and it causes her mind to stumble. She takes a moment to collect herself before she can find the right words to express how she feels. “Well, I…I’m very happy right now?”

When his hands cover hers and she meets his gaze, it leaves her breathless. She’s never been good at articulating her emotions, but damn it, this is the boy she loves. This is the memory she wants to give him so he can have it to look back on when he’s alone and she can’t be there.

So she makes an effort to try. “I feel happy, Ren,” she says quietly, turning both of her hands over to weave her fingers through his. “I may be slightly nervous, but I also feel very comfortable right now. My heart is racing. I’m really warm on the inside. Time seems to have stopped and there’s nothing in the world right now except for you.” She smiles at him. “I feel like I find new ways to fall in love with you when I had thought there were no more ways to fall.”

It’s odd, she thinks, to say all of this to him, considering how unscripted and terrible it had sounded. But the pay off is worth it. Ren smiles so brightly that it dulls the snow falling around them. His eyes light up to the point she thinks someone has aimed a flashlight beam into them. There’s even a light blush covering his face that she  _knows_  isn’t from the cold.

“That feeling…the way you feel right now,” he whispers, lifting his hand to her face. “I want you to remember it for the days I can’t be there with you, or for when you’re upset with me.” He drops his hand to the box. “And that’s why I bought you this. Not so much so you can show it off as a promise ring or anything, which I personally hope you to do,” he adds with a chuckle. “But I want you to look at it and remember how I make you feel, how much I love you, and how much I will _always_  love you.”

She can’t hold it back any longer and throws her arms around his neck, holding the box tightly in her right hand. “I would never forget how you make me feel, even without this beautiful gift.”

He places a kiss to the side of her head. “Well, then consider it the first of many Christmas presents to come.”

She laughs into his shoulder as her eyes begin to burn. “It’s a promise, then.”   

He continues to hold onto her tightly, resting his head against hers, and she simply enjoys the sensation of being next to him. She has no idea how much time passes, but eventually Ren loosens his grip and lifts his head off hers.

“Not to be overly excited about it or anything, but…” He pokes her in the forehead and he grins when she groans at him. “I saw a precious little wrapped gift on your lap.” Makoto immediately straightens her back and she can feel the blush working its way over her face. “Or should I be really, really jealous because someone gave you a present before I did?”

She shakes her head quickly. “N-no!” His damn smile will never _not_ make her weak. To cover up her embarrassment, she shoves the small gift into his chest without looking up at him. “I-it’s n-nothing…special…”

His laughter reaches her ears and it warms her face even more. “This is the best Christmas ever.”

A playful frown works its way over her face. “You haven’t even opened it.”

“Well, no,” he replies, his fingers beginning to tug at the edges of the wrapping paper. “But I don’t need a present to feel special. Just you.” He touches his finger to her nose and she rolls her eyes (albeit with a blush) while he chuckles at her reaction.

“J-just open it.”

He repeats his action before he returns to unwrapping his present. While she watches him, she begins to wonder if he’s even going to like it. She’s known Ren for almost a year, but she still worries that she doesn’t _know_ him well enough. He seems to be interested in everything, has no dislikes, which makes it extremely difficult to find the right first Christmas gift for him. She knows he’s not going to _hate_ it, but after his touching gift to her, she’s afraid he’s going to think less of her for not putting in the same amount of effort he had.

Something pokes her in the forehead, making her realize that she had completely spaced out. Ren stares at her with a trademark grin, the wrapping of the present half torn to shreds in his hands. “You’re thinking too much.”

She holds his gaze for half a second before she looks away. She’s surprised when he doesn’t try and get her attention again, but the crinkling of paper causes her to tilt her head enough to observe him. He finally reaches the box and peels back the last remnants of paper, as if savoring the last shred of excitement before the disappointment kicks in.

She holds her breath as he studies his new gift, but the blank expression on his face has her heart racing a thousand times faster than what can be good for the human cardiovascular system. “I-I…I t-thought…s-since Boss said you didn’t have your own chess board…t-that m-maybe you could, um…teach me how to play…before you left. Y-you played a-all the time…I thought…So, so I…” she pauses, more to catch her breath, but she bites her lower lip to stop the trembling. “I’m sorry, Ren. I-I know it’s not-,”

“Why are you sorry?”

She meets his gaze, but there’s no hint of a smile or a frown or _anything_ on his face. She drops her head with a sigh. “You gave me such a wonderful gift and this pales greatly in comparison.”

His fingers grab her by her chin and force her to look back up at him. “You _really_ need to stop thinking so much.”

“But-,” she retorts, but his fingers touch her lips to silence her.

“You thought this out, but I can’t say that doesn’t surprise me,” he adds with a growing smile. “I know I may not look it, but I will let you know that this is a perfect present.” Suddenly, his eyes sparkle with a new light and Makoto is slightly taken back. “I studied moves and strategies all the time when I first started playing with Akechi. I hate losing. I hate it. I hated losing to _him._ ButI haven’t been able to play since we got caught up in all of this. And it even looks really nice!” He holds the box up to his face to study it closer. “Handcrafted pieces? My taste for detail might not be as good as Yusuke’s, but these are beautiful! Look!”

He turns the box around to show her, but she’s still confused as to why he’s so excited over a poorly thought through idea. “Um, you seem a little…happy?”

Ren smiles widely at her. “Do you know why?”

She replies with a shake of her head.

“Because you want me to teach you! Which means we can challenge each other all the time, and then I can study harder while you’re in college and practice for when you come visit me and I can beat you! Not that I need an excuse to see you, but this will be fun! Good, healthy competition. I'm excited!”

His energy is overwhelming, but his smile is far too genuine for her to try and counteract it. He shifts on the bench to sit next to her again, his hips touching hers, then he wraps both of his arms around her and drops his head into the crook of her neck.

“I know you feel like this isn’t as special as what I gave you, but you’re wrong. Akechi left a sour taste in my mouth about something I was enjoying, but now I have a chance to make better memories, with you.” He lifts his head and turns her face. “Thank you, Makoto.”

He leans in to kiss her, and while the action is short and simple, she literally _feels_ his happiness lingering on her lips. The thought makes her cheeks warm. “Y-you’re w-welcome.”

He throws one arm around her shoulders while his other hand secures his gift in his lap. “So, first lesson. Who do you think is the most important player in a game of chess?”

She laughs into his chest as she makes herself comfortable against him, both of her hands cradling the box with her ring. “They all are.”

He kisses the top of her head. “Yes, but…life without a Queen is always the hardest to deal with.”

“I’m never going to leave you, Ren.”

His arm over her shoulder comes to her waist and his hand covers both of hers. “Can I put it on, then?” She nods her head, turning slightly so she can face him while she hands him the box. She can feel her blush spreading over her face when he grabs her left hand and removes the ring from the box. “Until the day comes when I can replace this with another promise,” he says as he slides the ring onto her finger. “I hope you wear it and always think of me and the future I want to give you.”

Christmas has just become her favorite holiday.

-.-.-

If Ren is allowed to hate one thing, it’s goodbyes.

He hates them. He hates the feelings associated with it. He hates the implications of an ending, that he’s never going to see anyone again. He hates the words, the sadness, the overwhelming desire to stay when he _knows_ he can’t.

How does he say goodbye to Sojiro, the man who had become more of a father figure than his own? He will never be able to express his gratitude, even if his year under his care had been spent holed up in some dusty, cramped attic space. The man had supported him in more ways than his family, had accepted him as a criminal, had shown him how it feels to be a part of a _family_. 

How is he going to say goodbye to his friends? They had all been through so much together. Ren actually finds it hard to believe it’s only been a year when he feels like he’s been a part of their lives since childhood. He had never had many friends growing up, and he sure as hell lost the few he did have after his conviction. So how can he say _goodbye_ to the friends who had helped him to grow, to learn, and had given him a place to belong?

He thought he had more time, that this day would never come if he never thought about it. But here he is, hours before his return home, bags packed and ready to go, realizing he can’t escape it forever.  

He carries his bag over his shoulder and down the stairs after one last look at the room he had stayed in. His feet are heavy as he comes to a stop at the edge of the bar, glancing at the coffee siphons and then taking in the entirety of the café. No one is around, save for Sojiro, who he purposely avoids making eye contact with.

“You’ll always be welcome here, kid.” Ren senses the _goodbye_ attached to his statement, so he inhales deeply, tosses the leather-bound journal on the counter in front of the old man, and walks away.

He only stops when his hand touches the door handle. “Try not to work yourself to the bone in my absence.” He takes a chance and looks over his shoulder. “I really need a part-time job when I come back to visit.”

When a small smile comes to Sojiro’s face, Ren turns back around and looks out in front of him. Using strength he had only ever used in palaces, he pushes the door open before the weight in his heart keeps him from leaving. He doesn’t look back, nor does he say anything else to Sojiro as the door closes behind him.

When he rounds the corner to the train station, he bends over and holds himself up with his hands on his knees. For several minutes, he tries to catch his breath, willing the burning behind his eyes to fade away. But time is not on his side. If he chooses to stay any longer, he’s never going to leave. And while the idea would please so many people, he knows he has to go back home. 

It’s only for one year. One year’s time to make amends with his parents, his old classmates, his neighborhood. Some may accept him back with open arms and warmer hearts, and he wants to give them all the benefit of the doubt. Worse comes to worse, he can come back to Tokyo when his schedule allows him. Even if they do welcome him back, Ren would still spend every chance he could to return to his home away from home. 

“Hi, Ren.”

Something cold grabs at his heart and his breath catches in his throat. He remains hunched over, unable to stand, fearing he’s going to be sick. His heart crashes against his ribcage painfully and he has to fight with the last reserves of energy in his body to even lift his head.

“I wasn’t expecting you to see me off.”

Makoto smiles at him, sending him spiraling into a fresh wave of emotions he had thought he had left behind with Sojiro. For once, he’s the one who has to break eye contact with her, the warmth from her smile too much for him to bear. 

He hears her footsteps approaching, but his heart pounds harder in his chest and his breathing becomes irregular. He has been telling her for weeks not to worry, that he will always love her, no matter the distance, and now _he’s_ the one who’s not ready to part ways. He doubts that she’s as happy and confident as she appears, but that fact does little to calm him. 

He jumps when she places her hand on his forearm. “I wanted to see you.”

He takes a second to steady his breathing before he straightens his back. “I’m happy to see you.” He offers a half-assed smile, which she seems to see right through. 

“I know it’s hard to leave, but you’re not really leaving.” Makoto reaches for both of his hands and holds them in each of hers. He notices the glint of light off the ring she wears on her finger, and he has to squeeze her hands to keep himself from breaking down. “You’re always going to be here,” she says as she lifts one of their laced hands to rest over her heart. “So, let’s not say goodbye. Because that’s not what this is. I promise to come visit when I can, and I know you’ll do the same. I also think some alone time will let you rebuild bonds with your family and friends, as well as to allow me to study and work towards my goal. So don't think about this as time apart as much as a chance to grow on our own.”

She’s about to say more, but he throws his other arm around her and pulls her into him, burying his face into her shoulder. He had promised himself he would not shed any tears with any farewells. No one deserves a sappy goodbye from him. And she’s right. This is not a goodbye. He will see everyone again. Maybe not tomorrow, or next week, or next month, but they will only be a phone call away. 

He smiles into her shoulder as her arms work their way around his neck. “If you become any better with words and making me feel better, you’re going to be far too good for me.”

She chuckles at him as her grip tightens around him. “You’ve done so much for me, Ren. Now,” she whispers to him as she leans back to look into his eyes. “I want you to see where that leads me in my own future.”

He brushes some hair behind her ears, dragging his fingertips over her cheeks and stopping at her chin. “I already know where you’re going to end up.”

She laughs, dropping her head to hide the blush that rises to her face. “Back here with you, yes?”

He leans in and kisses her, trying to remind himself that it’s the middle of the day and people are walking about. He also has to remind himself that this is not goodbye, even if the burning behind his eyes and the hold she has on him begs to differ. But time won't stop for them, so he pulls away so he can begin a new chapter of his life, watch (and listen) to the new chapter of her life, and wait for the moment they can write another one together.

Not every story is perfect, but as he holds Makoto’s hand, sees the smile growing on her face, he knows he doesn’t want perfect. Just her.

And their story will always have a happy ending.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a long run. A fucking HARD run. But it’s done. I can say I'm proud of myself for at least finishing this, getting to the 100K word mark, and making some of you guys happy. Because that makes me happy and makes me feel like I didn't fully waste my time. 
> 
> I truly cannot express enough how much you guys mean to me. So another round of thank you's for all your words of kindness and reading this to the very end. Even if you didn't like how it worked out, or any part really, I thank you. I wouldn't have been able to make it this far without each and every one of you guys!
> 
> Thank you again for reading and I wish you all the best!
> 
> 龍の神様


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